* Not completely edited.

___________________________________________________

“You have to go to bed,” I sighed, rubbing my face in agitation.

Maia looked up at me in defiance, arms crossed over her chest. She didn’t look so wicked with her pink Paul Frank Pajamas and her brown curls combed neatly back.

“Nine thirty is too early to go to sleep,” Maia argued. “I’m seven already! I could go to sleep whenever I want!”

“Your parents want you to sleep early because you have to get up early for your dental appointment,” I said forcefully. “You need to go to sleep.”

“I could wake up by that time! I’m already old enough to sleep whenever I want.”

I have no clue why Maia thinks she’s old enough to handle everything a teenager could handle. For example, she insisted she cooked her own eggs this morning but ended up burning them and splattering yolk all over the stove. No matter how many times she was proven wrong, she still claimed that she was old enough to do this and that.

“You’re going to be cranky tomorrow,” I warned.

“I won’t!”

“Maia, I don’t want to hear it. This is not up for negotiation.”

“What’s a negotiation?”

“When two or more people discuss business until they both come to an agreement.”

“I think we should negotiation. I’ll sleep at ten thirty.”

“No! I just said this is not for negotiation,” I said with finality. I pointed my finger towards her butterfly covered bedroom door. “Go to sleep.”

“Please Emma,” Maia pleaded. My eyebrows hitched upwards when she went down to her knees and clasped her hands together. “Please, please, please with a cherry, raspberry, blueberry, strawberry, and a dingle berry on top!”

“Maia, do you know what a dingle berry is?”

“My best friend told me that it’s a fruit. Duh, that’s why it has berry at the end,” Maia said, smirking like she knew everything.

“A dingle berry is leftover pooh that is stuck to the butt of either a human or an animal,” I deadpanned.

Maia frowned, her eyebrows knitting together the same way Noah’s own does. “Are you serious? No wonder why nobody gives in when I say dingle berry. That’s so gross.”

“Yeah and I’m going to be one of those people who are not giving in,” I announced. I pointed to her door once more. “You need to go to bed or do you want to go on time-out?”

Maia snorted. “Time-out? Are you going to make me face the wall? You’re funny, Emmy. You know I won’t listen if you put me in time-out.”

“Do you have no sort of discipline?” I hissed, feeling my patience thin because the sleep deprivation I’ve been going through.

“My parents never put me in time-out. They just take away everything I love,” Maia responded with pride. However, she only realized her slip up a few seconds later.

“Fine. I’ll take away your makeup, your One Direction CD, your stuffed animals, your DS, your iPad, your – “

“No! Geez, why are you so angry today?” Maia snapped, looking as if she were about to cry. “All I wanted was to watch television for thirty minutes and you snapped at me. This whole day, you were nothing but a big meanie. Like this morning. I asked you if you could teach me to cook, but you just got mad at me because I burned the food. Sorry if I wasn’t a professional chef the first time I tried cooking!”

 Admittedly, I was on edge today. It wasn’t because Maia was as evil as a kid could get – I was already immune to her personality, but I was lacking sleep, stressing over school work, and trying to manage everything in my life. I wasn’t even irritated because of her; I was irritated because of Noah.

Yesterday, when we worked on our project after our performance at The Pit, we didn’t get anywhere. Noah claimed he was sleepy, locked himself up in his room, and promised we would do the project today. However, the lying bastard left the household before I showed up to babysit Maia and hasn’t came home yet.

Maia’s bottom lip trembled as she looked away. She was trying hard not to cry. I watched as she tried to blink back the tears that desperately wanted to escape her eyeballs. However, I cringed when a traitor tear slipped down her cheek.

I felt lower than low. It was my fault she was crying. I shouldn’t have lashed out my anger on her – a seven-year-old girl who wasn’t even the reason for my annoyance.

“I’m so sorry,” I apologized genuinely, bending down so I was at eye level with her. Taking her arms in my hands, I said, “I shouldn’t have been such a meanie towards you. Gosh, I feel bad. I promise I’ll make it up to you next weekend. Let’s go watch TV. Just promise me you won’t be cranky tomorrow.”

Maia nodded her head, wiping her face with the back of her hand. She sniffled. “You were pretty mean, but I forgive you. I promise I won’t be cranky tomorrow.”

“Pinky promise?” I smiled slightly, holding my pinky out to her.

“Pinky promise,” Maia responded, wrapping her pinky around my own.

We bound down the stairs and into the television room. Maia plopped down on the couch as I turned the television on to Disney. Jessie was showing and I wanted to bang my head continuously on the coffee table at the awful television show that coincidentally aired when Maia and I were going to watch. Talk about bad timing.

However, Maia squealed that this show was amazing and I didn’t want to upset her more with my unpleasant opinions. Instead, I sat down beside her. Not even five minutes later, the front door slammed shut and Noah paused by the television room.

“Hey, Mai,” Noah greeted, ruffling Maia’s hair and pecking her forehead. “Why aren’t you sleeping yet?”

“I’m just watching TV for a bit,” Maia responded with a raspy voice. She yawned, rubbing at her eyes.

“Okay, goodnight,” Noah said. He turned to me and stared at me for a couple of seconds before walking out of the television room.

I hope he saw the fury burning in my eyes and the clear irritation on my face. This time around, I wasn’t going to let this go. If he was stubborn, I was worse. I will make him pay for all the hell he’s causing me over a project we could have been over and done with already.

Twenty minutes later, a light snore escaped Maia’s lips. She was finally asleep. She was curled up into a ball on the other side of the couch, hair splayed everywhere. I decided I was going to interrogate Noah first before letting him know to carry Maia into her room.

After moving Maia’s hair out of her face, I hurdled up the stairs with my hands in small fists by my sides. I haven’t been inside his room, but Maia informed me that the room across hers was Noah’s own. I was so set on banging my fists on his door and giving him a piece of my mind, but that plan was thrown out the window when I saw the light streaming out from a small crack in the door of the room next to Noah’s own – a room nobody ever talked about.

Nick Callaway’s room.

It was a spacious area with posters of different musical bands plastered on the grayish blue walls. Two guitars, an amplifier, and recording systems connected to a computer sat in one corner of the room. A layer of dust was collecting on the desk, drawers, and the television that hung on the wall.

I’m not usually an eavesdropper and hated being nosy, but I couldn’t help but stare at Noah who sat on his brother’s made bed with his face in his hands. His shoulders shook slightly. My eyebrows hitched upwards when I realized he was crying.

“That’s the first time he went into his room since Nick died,” a small, exhausted voice said behind me. I turned to face Maia who stared at Noah with watery eyes. “Mommy and daddy won’t even go in there.”

All of a sudden, I felt like the biggest intruder in the entire world. I shouldn’t be here, watching a family mourn over a lost loved one. To make matters even worse, I felt like I had to do something. I couldn’t live with myself if I just walked away like I didn’t care and I didn’t see anything.

Sighing, I said, “You’re tired. Go to bed. I’ll handle this, okay?”

Maia nodded, rubbing at her watery eyes. She walked towards her room, shoulders slumped and her head hung low. I watched intently as she entered her room and shut her door. It was quiet, but the sudden sound of a loud bang and an angry grunt caused me to flinch in my spot.  

I looked back inside the room. My eyes widened when Noah stood beside a wall, rubbing at his fist furiously. He hissed in pain and continued his foul language in frustration. He grabbed the closest thing next to him – the television remote – and threw it across the room. The remote hit the wall hard, its parts falling to pieces to the ground.

Before he could fling one of the guitars across the room, I finally decided to step in.

“Noah,” I said calmly, walking slowly towards him with my hands placed in front of me. “Put the guitar down.”

Noah’s head whipped in my direction and the mere sight of him made me want to cringe. His eyes were bloodshot red; many different emotions were displayed in his steel blue pupils. His face was wet with tears. His hair was in different directions as if he ran his hands through them constantly.

He lowered the guitar when I stood in front of him. I cautiously took the musical instrument into my own hands and placed it back on its stand. Noah looked away from me as if he were embarrassed, stuffing his hands deep inside his jean pockets.

“What are you doing here?” Noah grumbled.

I didn’t even know the answer to that myself. Was it because I felt pity for him? Was it because I was scared he was going to hurt himself? Was it because I had the pathetic feeling that I wanted to help him?

“Maia’s asleep. You might wake her up,” I answered lamely, shrugging my shoulders.

Noah nodded, still refusing to look me in the eye. “You should leave.”

“Noah,” I sighed. “You need to calm down. You shouldn’t wreck anymore of your brother’s stuff. You’re going to regret it later. He wouldn’t want that.”

“What do you know about Nick?” Noah snapped. He finally looked at me, but I wanted to shrink under his cold glare. “All everyone knows is that he was murdered by me. Nobody cared about him. All he was, was some skinny band nerd who was murdered by his own brother!”

“I know you didn’t kill him,” I whispered lowering my eyes.

“You don’t know a fucking thing,” Noah said darkly. “You should be scared of me.”

I shook my head and crossed my arms. “I’m not scared of you.”

The couple seconds Noah was quiet, it felt like years passed. “Why are you so fucking clueless? You really are the stereotypical blonde, huh? I don’t need your help. I certainly don’t want your help. Just leave me the fuck alone.”  

My eyebrows hitched upwards as I fidgeted under his stare. Okay, I admit that I was really hurt by his insensitive comment towards me. However, unlike most girls, I shrugged it off.

After all, I was used to it.

There was only one reason I didn’t leave when he told me to leave. I knew how it felt to be alone. When my parents split and I stayed with Evan, Evan was hardly home because he struggled to make life comfortable for the both of us. That was the lowest point in my life. Loneliness is not a pleasant feeling and knowing everyone was against you was worst.

“You need to calm down, okay?” I simply told him. “C’mon, you’re not ready to be in here yet.”

“God, stop pretending you know me! I don’t need your pity!” Noah spat.

He pushed his hand into his hair in frustration. A loud gasp involuntarily escaped my lips when my eyes landed on his red and bloody knuckles. Obviously, he punched the wall earlier. I went to grab his hand, but he flinched away. 

He inhaled deeply to stay calm. “Please leave. I need time alone.”

“Noah – “

“Please. I’m asking you nicely.”

“Okay,” I said, nodding my head.

I looked back once again at Noah, who absently stared at the far wall, before I left the room.

▼▲ ▼ ▲ ▼ ▲ ▼ ▲ ▼

It was thirty passed eleven when I got home.

When I left, Natalia and Paul came home from a long dinner meeting with a man who wanted to sell his product in Callaway’s Cars & Parts. Maia was fast asleep in her bed, hugging her stuffed lion. Noah locked himself in his room ten minutes after I talked to him and thankfully didn’t damage anything else or himself.

I wasn’t even able to remove my boots when Evan entered the room with a grim expression and started lecturing me on why it was such a bad idea that I chose to employ myself at this age.

Good lord, today was not my day. Usually, Sundays were calming and lazy, but today was hectic and eventful. I was beginning to think that the days I engaged myself with the Callaway’s were karma for not listening to my brother when he insisted that I didn’t need a job.

“Ems, you’re late again,” Evan stated, crossing his arms across his chest. “You have school tomorrow and I know for a fact that you didn’t finish your Trig homework yet.”

“I could handle it,” I muttered, placing my coat inside the coat closet. “Don’t worry about it.”

“No, it’s obvious that you’re exhausted. I really don’t want you to have so many responsibilities. You’re only seventeen,” Evan sighed. “I’m a horrible brother.”

“You’re not a horrible brother,” I snapped. “You always do so much for me. I think it’s high time I start providing for us too.”

“I’m proud that you’re being so mature, Ems, but this is not the time to do so. When I was seventeen, I didn’t have to do as much as you did.”

“Yeah, that’s because mom and dad were still together,” I deadpanned, not elaborating because it was clearly a touchy subject on my part. “It was my fault they aren’t together anymore! I need to pay the consequences. Not you.”

“Ems, it wasn’t your fault! How many times do I have to remind you?” Evan cried.

“You don’t have to remind me, Evan, because I know it was my fault that our family is broken,” I yelled, feeling hot tears roll down my cheeks. I walked passed Evan. “Please stop pretending that I didn’t do anything when I know the thought crossed your mind once or twice.”

Ignoring Evan’s calls, I stormed into my room and locked my door.