Chapter Nine
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Dedication: Xophiaortega for always commenting! Thank you!
Recap:
I let out a soft laugh and she rolled her eyes, knowing that Finn obviously did it.
We spent the rest of the session talking about school and the events coming up. She told me about the carnival, but I already knew it was on. I used to be on the Social Chair Committee, which organises it, but after dad passed away, I dropped out of it.
When I exited her office, I chew my lip, thinking back to what she said.
With a sigh, I make a decision.
I'm going to find Miles.
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I begin aimlessly wandering through the hallway, scanning the small crowd of students as I try to find Miles, before Finn catches me.
After almost losing hope, I finally find him down by the football oval. He is halfway down, sitting on the grass, leaning back onto the fence. Sucking in an encouraging breath, I walk over to him.
The closer I get, the stronger I can smell the stench of cigarette smoke. I scrunch up my face as I walk to him. It now makes sense why he is all the way down here.
He has his head hung low, his forehead pressed against his knees. His arms are slung over his knees, the cigarette loosely dangling between his fingers.
"Miles."
He lifts his head and my stomach clenches when I see tear stains.
He tilts his back, squinting in the morning sunlight.
"What do you want?" he asks, his voice dry. "Here to torment me some more? Throw your father's death in my face again?"
I grimace, sliding down the fence and sitting beside him.
"It was easy to blame you," I murmur softly. "Even if it's not right, it was the easiest thing to do."
"Yeah," he bit out, placing the cigarette against his lips and taking a draw.
I open my mouth a few times, trying to find words to somehow comfort him, but I came up blank. Instead, I let out an exhale, closing my eyes.
We sat there for a while, in total silence. The only sound was him letting out a puff of smoke every now and then. Eventually, he tosses the cigarette away. I am annoyed at that, but I don't say anything.
"What did Byrnes say to you?" he asks, sometime later.
"Not a lot."
"Must have been something for you to come after me."
"I've been thinking and I'm sorry for how I acted." I apologise, my eyes still closed. "We shouldn't have cut you out like that, but it's so hard to forgive you. If I do, it's almost saying I don't care about what happened."
I stretch my legs out in front of me, trying to capture some of the sun's heat. Even though it is a sunny day, the air is still cold.
"I'm a fuck up," he mutters. "Always have been."
"Not always."
I feel him move beside me. I lazily open my eyes, to see he has half-turned. The sunlight brushes his face, casting a yellowish tint on his skin. I stare into his clear, blue eyes, taking in the dark look they now have. I notice the dark circles under his eyes and the careless stubble that has grown on his face. He has angry, frown lines around his mouth.
"Fuck," he chokes out, reaching out to me.
I let him. His rough fingers run down the side of my face. His eyes never leave mine as his thumb begins to caress my cheek. A shiver runs down my spine at the intimate gesture.
"I missed you."
I lower my gaze, biting my lip softly. "I hate to admit it, but I missed you, too."
His hand is cold as he continues to stroke me.
"You've always had really soft skin," he whispers.
I shiver again, his voice bringing back many memories of us, stealing kisses from each other, whispering sweet nothings as we made out on my bed. When we used to go star gazing or sneak down to the beach late.
I'm brought back to the present when his thumb runs over my lip. He lets out a soft groan, before pulling his hand away.
"You're killing me."
I let out a soft laugh. "I'm not doing anything."
"You don't have to."
His gaze is too intense. I look away, back to school, knowing I am well beyond late at this point.
"Why did you move back here?" I ask.
"I had to leave. This is the only place I know and honestly, I did come back for you. I want to be in yours and Finn's life again."
"Why did you have to leave?" I question.
He had been living with his mum, as far as I know. His mother hadn't been a part of his life much, since his parents' divorce, so I didn't know what life had been like for him. All I know, is that his mum had been a mess a while ago. When I heard he went to live with her, I hoped that she had gotten better.
"She died."
Tears burned at my eyes as I tore my gaze to his face. He isn't looking at me, but gazing vacantly ahead. He pulls out another cigarette, but doesn't light it. He rolls it between his fingers.
"Shit," I whisper. "Sorry, I didn't know."
"She overdosed," he let out a dry laugh and I wince at the sound of it. "Always knew the drugs would kill her. Didn't think it was going to be this soon, though."
"Jesus," I mutter, wiping my eyes, a little shocked at his emotionless tone. "What the hell have you been living through, this past year and a half?"
"You don't want to know."
Tears began to fall down my cheeks before I could stop them. "This is all my fault. If my family hadn't cut you out-"
He drags his eyes to mine, looking startled. "What? This isn't your fault."
"Yes it is," I cry. I hiccup, struggling to breathe, my fingers trembling as I wipe at my cheeks. "You shouldn't have had to move. You shouldn't have had to live like that."
"It was my fucking fault," he spat, jabbing himself in the chest. "I did that to you, knowing it would hurt you. I didn't give a fuck because I was high and drunk. I didn't care that you were waiting. I didn't care for any of it. I wanted to my next fix of fun. Richard died because of me. If I didn't ditch you that night, none of it would have happened."
I am hysterically crying by this point, my chest heaving as I try to calm myself down.
I scramble to my feet as he reaches for me. Every word he said hit me like a bullet. I begin shaking, wiping at my face angrily.
"Shit, I'm sorry," he kept repeating as he got to his feet. "Look-"
"Did you sleep with her that night?" I ask, my voice quivering as I glare at him through my tears.
He looked pained. "Yes."
I knew he had, but hearing him say it, feels ten times worse than I thought it would. I bury my face in my hands as I cry. There are rumours that the girl he was with, was their arch enemy, Eli Matthews' girlfriend, but I'm not sure if it is true or not.
"You were high?"
"I always got high after a game," he said slowly.
"Did Finn?"
"Not really. He's a pussy when it comes to that shit." he replies. "Well, he was. I don't even know him now."
"Did you even care about me? At all?" I growl, hating that I'm still crying.
"Of course I did," he snaps. "I cared about you a bit too fucking much, Isobel, if you didn't notice. Why do you think I snuck around with you for so long? I wouldn't have done that for just anyone. I'd never liked someone like I did you and it scared the shit out of me. I couldn't like you - you were Finn's sister. He warned me, so many times. He warned all of us." He drew a ragged breath, throwing his hand through his hair. "I tried to ignore my feelings. I convinced myself I liked the thrill of seeing you, because I wasn't meant to."
"How many girls did you sleep with, while you were seeing me?" I whine, trying not to get too excited over his words, focusing on the things he did to hurt me, instead.
"Don't ask questions you don't want the answers to, Isobel."
"I was an idiot falling for you," I spit, feeling hot anger burn through me as I stare at him.
He shrugs, the nonchalant look in his eyes making my fists ball at my side. "Yeah, you were but it still happened. Can't change it now, can we?"
"I can make sure history doesn't repeat itself."
"Look, I'm still a fucking mess, but I'm not going to do what I did last time. I'm not going to stuff it up with you."
"You're not going to get the chance to, because there is no us." I wave in between our bodies. "I learnt my lesson the first time."
"Don't say this to me if you don't mean it," he warns, his red-ringed eyes narrowing. "I can't wait for you forever."
"Good to know," I clip back, wiping my nose. "Good to know I'm not worth waiting for."
"That's not what I meant-"
"It's okay, I'm already more involved than I should be." I say to him, shaking my head, taking a step back. "I'll see you around."
I stride away from him, wiping at my eyes, cursing them for being full of endless tears. I walk through the hall, immensely glad most people are in class. I can't control my tears as they fall.
I hear a locker door slam and Alec turn. He gives me a bright smile, until he sees my face. He hurries over to me, looking concerned.
"Woah, what's wrong?"
I wrap my arms tightly around him, burying my face into his chest.
"Hold me," I whisper. "Just for a moment."
His textbook lands with a thud, as it hits the ground. He pulls me tightly to him, hugging me.
I turn my head so that my right cheek is pressed against his chest. I let him hug me, as I try to pull myself together. He rubs my back soothingly. I blink wearily as I see Miles appear at the end of the hallway. He takes in the sight of me, in Alec's arms.
A look of pure fury passes his face as he turns his back to me, walking away.
I should have known not to get anywhere near Miles again.
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Bit of an intense chapter, but I'm glad I got to write a bit more about Miles! What are your thoughts on him? Is he still the bad guy he used to be, or do you think he's changed? Or at least trying to?
Please remember to vote if you're enjoying the story! I also try to read every comment, so let me know what you're thinking. I'm always open for discussion and you're always welcome to PM me about anything!
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