CHAPTER TWO:
THE HOTTEST MAN IN
NEW YORK CITY

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KETTI TRIED TO FORGET MEETING DEADPOOL AND SPIDER-MAN.

But it didn't fucking work.

"Spider-Man?" Peter asked, grabbing a fray from their shared tray. "And Deadpool, you're serious?"

"Yeah," Ketti nodded, taking a handful herself. "And it could have been cool, right, like look at someone and be like "oh, I'd totally act cool if this happened to me" kind of thing but there was a human head thrown in my lap, babes."

"That sucks," Peter frowned. "You doing okay now?"

"Now?" Ketti scoffed. "Now, I wish I lived in bum-fuck nowhere where people don't bother me. And superhero's don't exist. Don't you feel like there's too many nowadays?"

Peter's head tilted curiously. "How d'ya mean?"

"I dunno," Ketti shrugged. "Spider-Man, Deadpool, Daredevil, that Frank Castle guy — he is so hot, Christ—"

"—You could do better than the Punisher—"

(She could, in fact, do far better than the Punisher. I could do better than the Punisher. No I couldn't. Is Logan better than the Punisher? That's debatable.)

"—He's still a huge smash."

"Ket, he kills people."

"So does Loki and someone has a crush on him."

"I told you that in confidence."

"You're not wrong," Ketti shrugged. "He's hot. Would smash."

"Since you met him, would you smash Deadpool?"

"No chance — who the fuck is that guy?" Ketti cut herself off, mouth falling open as a gift from God himself walked into the substation.

Dark hair, over 6', strong features, fucking calves that could crush her fucking head like a rock, a loose-fitting button up, jeans, boots, hair styled just slightly up at the top, and the arms.

Ohhhhh the fucking arms.

(Hard agree, his arms are magical.)

Peter looked back, eyes widening. "Uh, just some guy." He cleared his throat and went back to his burger.

Ketti noticed everyone else looking at the man too. Did he even notice? He had not to of —

"Oh, fuck me."

(Gladly, baby, give me a time and place. Or here and now. Whenever you want. Front or back? Where's Logan going?)

Ketti shrank down when fucking Deadpool walks into the cafe after him, chatting up a storm with the guy.

"Babycakes!"

Ketti let out a whine, sinking in her seat, pushing the tray of food to Peter.

Deadpool noticed her and walked straight over, the hot guy behind him grumbling but following.

"Helloooooo Peter," Deadpool dragged out, ruffling Peter's hair. Peter scowled up at him. Ketti watched the pair with a frown.

"Wait, you guys know each other?"

"Who is this girl?"

God, even his voice was hot.

"Slide over, sweetheart, I'm coming in," Deadpool gave as a warning and slid into the booth next to her. "And don't worry," he looked at her, "it's not in the fun way yet. We'll get there eventually."

Peter and Ketti exchanged a look. The hot man just stood with his arms crossed.

Ketti tried not to stare at him.

"Logan, this is Peter Parker and — oh, actually, I don't know your name." Deadpool looked to Ketti. "Spit it out, baby, we haven't got all day."

"Ketti," she replied faintly, heart skipping a beat when the hot man's eyes landed on her.

"Kitten?"

"Ketti," she corrected.

"Kitty?"

"Ketti."

"Like a cat?"

"Ketti. K-E-T-T-I."

"Ketti-Cat, got it."

Ketti groaned and threw her head on the table.

"She's very melodramatic, I like it," Deadpool commented.

"Will you shut up?" Ketti and Logan asked together in a groan, then shared an appraising look.

"No, don't like that," Deadpool pointed between the two. "Hate that. Let's not do that. Three against one is not fair."

"Not what your mom said last night," Ketti retorted in annoyance. "She loved it."

(They grow up so fast.)

"Oh!" Deadpool held a hand over his face, gasping in mock-surprise. "Does my little kitten have claws?"

"I will actually stab you with a fork."

"I love it when you get kinky," Deadpool leaned closer, "keep 'em coming, baby, you're making me hot and bothered."

"Is there an off-button?" Ketti asked Logan, who sighed in response.

"I wish."

"So, Kitten—"

"—Peter, you know them both." Ketti cut Deadpool off, frowning at her friend.

"No, I don't?" Peter shrugged, looking away.

He was a terrible fucking liar.

"Ouch, Petey, I'm wounded." Deadpool put a hand over his heart. "Oh, sorry!" He exclaimed unapologetically. "Am I a secret?"

"We work together," Logan supplied, the other three people ignoring Deadpool.

(This is very common. Everyone always ignores the prettiest girl in the room because they're jealous.)

"Work together?" Ketti asked flatly, raising an eyebrow.

"Yep!" Peter nodded quickly. "We-we do work together and—that's all. Top secret."

"At the Daily Bugle."

"Yes."

"J. Jonah Jameson reporting for duty!" Deadpool mocked, saluting the air.

Logan rolled his eyes.

"How are you friends with this guy?" Ketti asked.

Logan sighed, opening his mouth to speak but, of fucking course, Deadpool added something else.

"If we're being technical, he's my pookie."

"What the fuck does that mean?" Logan asked with an exasperated look.

Deadpool held up his hands in a crude gesture, sliding his finger through a hole in his fingers, nodding at Logan.

Logan closed his eyes, inhaled, and then looked to Ketti. "Sorry."

"Yeah, I've heard that before." Ketti smiled tensely.

"I'm Spider-Man!" Peter blurted out, wide-eyed, so overcome with guilt from fucking hiding everything he couldn't contain it anymore.

(Isn't he cute when he tried to be a good friend? Too bad that won't last, ha! We're all terrible people. I mean that, really. You shouldn't keep reading. We're awful people.)

Silence.

Ketti stared at Peter with wide eyes and an open mouth, Logan looked at Peter with a raised eyebrow, and Deadpool squealed.

"Look at you, Petey, sharing secrets, do we wanna have a pillow fight later and—"

"—You're Spider-Man?"

"Yeah." Peter nodded. "I-I'm really sorry I haven't told you and—"

"—I just spent an hour venting about Spider-Man and this asshole next to me and you're telling me the whole time it's you?"

"I'm sorry."

(He did look sorry, but Ketti's never been one for dishonesty. It's one of her most promising character traits. That and her absolutely abysmal taste in men. Ah, I love her.)

"Deadpool get out of my way."

"Now, now, let's not be hasty—"

"—If you don't move, I will take this fork," Ketti held a fork up for Deadpool to see, "and jab it into your eye socket, hit your ocular nerve and spin this fucking fork around until your speech pattern is so fucked up you never make a joke again."

Silence.

"I like this kid."

"Marry me?"

"Ketti, I'm really—"

"Damn it, Deadpool, move!" Ketti exclaimed, slamming the fork down onto the man's arm.

"Ow! That tickled!" Deadpool exclaimed. "Do it again."

With a pout and a few curse words, Deadpool stood, letting Ketti up.

"Nice to meet you, Logan," she nodded to the hot man — god, she wanted to rail him — and then walked out of the restaurant altogether.

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not as chaotic as the last chapter?
but hopefully still matches the pace and intrigues you!!! this story BLEW up and I totally thought it would bomb (haha word puns) but thank you all soooo much glad you're all such whores for poolverine as I am<3