CHAPTER SEVENTEEN:
WADE IS GOOD AT AFTERCARE AND KETTI IS GOOD AT COMING

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WADE WALKED IN BEFORE LAURA OR BLIND AL, WHICH WAS GREAT BECAUSE IT WAS FAR EASIER TO ASK HIM TO KISS LOGAN THAN IT WAS TO EXPLAIN WHY KETTI WAS FACE-DOWN ON THE SOFA WITH LOGAN BALLS-DEEP INSIDE OF HER.

(Oh, wow, straight into it, are we? Good, because someone's bagel needs creaming and I have all of the supplies in my pants.)

"Well, hello," Deadpool greeted, mask on, looking between Logan and Ketti.

Ketti managed a moan in return, coming at the mere sight of him watching. Logan grunted and slapped her rear, berating her for coming without his permission.

"You're a little loud, babycakes," Deadpool tsked, walking over. "I think someone needs to fill your mouth up."

"Fuck," Ketti moaned out, trying to force back another release as Deadpool approached the pair.

He shook his head. "You have such a dirty mouth, Kitty, and I think I need to stop it saying such things."

Ketti nodded, a whimper leaving her when Logan pulled her up easily, still inside, back to his chest, and arm around her waist as he continued to pump her.

"God, I've fantasized about this since I met you, Ketti," Deadpool let out a soft groan. "I really wanna kiss you again, baby, but you gotta earn that."

Ketti nodded, head falling back against Logan's shoulder and he tightened his grip on her, other hand moving to her throat to keep her looking at Deadpool.

"Words, kitten," Logan growled in her ear and Ketti whimpered.

"S-sorry, Wade," she gasped out. "Just...can't..."

"I know, baby," Deadpool cooed softly, walking closer to the pair and placing a gloved hand on her cheek. She leaned into it. "You're trying. You're doing so good."

Ketti nodded. "Please...need to..."

"What?" Deadpool asked softly. "You wanna come, baby?" He traced over her lips and gently pushed two gloved fingers inside. "Suck."

Ketti did as told as Logan continued to pound into her. Her mind was numb, all thoughts and predispositions were gone, fucked away by the man she'd been craving for months.

Deadpool looked to Logan, then to Ketti. "She's so submissive," he remarked. "I didn't think she would be."

"I'm sure if you ask nicely, she'll fuck you," Logan grunted. "I think she's both."

"We'll have to find out," Deadpool hummed, pulling his fingers from Ketti's mouth and bringing them to her core.

Ketti spasmed around Logan, coming again when Deadpool barely rubbed her clit. Logan grunted in annoyance, sending Deadpool a look, but Deadpool ignored it, watching Ketti's face.

"God, you're so pretty like this," he cooed, "when you're coming around daddy's big cock, aren't you?"

Ketti whined at his words, nodding.

"Yeah, I know," Deadpool cooed, pulling his mask off, and sinking down to his knees.

Ketti watched him settle between hers and Logan's legs, watching as Logan continued — god, he never, ever got tired with the fucking regenerative healing and everything, he was always fucking her — to thrust into her, slowly bringing his fingers to his mouth, tasting her juices.

"Oh, baby," he moaned softly, meeting her eyes. "You taste so good."

Ketti let out a choked scream when Wade brought his mouth to her, licking her clit as Logan fucked her.

"I can't — I can't — oh, god, oh god, ohhhh goddd," she begged through a sob.

Logan pressed a kiss to her hair. "Wade likes the taste," he murmured in her ear softly, hand moving from her throat to gently touch Wade's head. "I'm gonna fucking come in you, and Wade's gonna eat it out of you, got it?"

Ketti nodded and with another thrust, Logan came in her and pumped her full, the cum leaking down her legs, out of her and into Wade's lapping mouth.

Wade pulled back and Logan pulled out of her a moment later, pressing a kiss to her head and gently settling her onto the sofa.

"You okay?" Wade asked her softly, hand finding her thigh and gently tracing it.

Ketti nodded. "I...um...Wade, I wanna — I don't you to feel like—"

"—Baby, there's no way I was allowed to fuck you before Logan," Wade chuckled. "We had an arrangement. One to ten?" He looked up to Logan.

Logan snorted, grabbing a cloth and cleaning himself before sitting down at the end of the sofa and gently wiping the remnants from Ketti's legs. "There's not a fucking number."

"There's not a — ?" Wade's eyes widened and he looked at Ketti. "Kitty, are you kinkier than me?"

"Might be the same," Logan commented at Ketti's blush.

"I'm — I'm normally kinky, like, the normal kind of—"

(Baby, there is no normal kind of kinky.)

"—Holy shit," Wade shook his head, looking at Ketti with reverence. "Babycakes, I'm going to fuck you so hard."

"Oh, god," Ketti whimpered. "Logan kind of — maybe can — we just—"

"Shhh," Wade replied softly, gloved hand reaching to her head and gently petting her hair. "I know you can do one more, can't you?"

Ketti hummed at his touch, the gentleness of Wade compared to the roughness of Logan was a perfect contrast. She'd lost count of how many times she'd come in the past few hours, but Wade was right.

She could manage it again. Ketti wanted him to feel as loved as he —

Her eyes widened at the terrible, awful thought that went through her head.

Love.

No fucking chance, absolutely no fucking way she loved them. No. She hardly knew Logan and she liked Wade and she — but she didn't love them. That was the hormones talking and the post-sex delirium and the —

(It's not. She's in love with us.)

"We can wait," Wade smiled gently, eyes so full of adoration and fondness it made her want to be sick. He was so fucking sweet why hasn't she noticed that before?

Behind that crude, sarcastic mask (literally) was the sweetest, most loving soul and fucking fuck no she did not love him. She could not love Wade Wilson this soon into a relationship.

"Do you want a bath?" Wade asked her gently. "I can help you. I know sometimes Logan's a bit rough."

"She's asked for it," Logan shrugged, but his eyes glancing over her face showed worry.

Ketti smile reassuringly at him; she was fine. Just exhausted.

"I'll go start it," Wade leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Be right back, okay?"

Ketti nodded and he stood, smiling softly at Logan before walking off. A moment later, water was running in another room.

"You okay?" Logan asked her gently, stroking her legs softly. "I really didn't mean to—"

"—Lo, I'm fine," Ketti said softly. "I've...had sex before but you're insane. Like...you don't ever stop."

"Sorry," Logan's face flashed with guilt and Ketti shook her head, sitting up. She winced at the soreness of her core, and the firmness of the sofa beneath them, even with his added help to get comfortable.

"It's okay," Ketti shook her head. "I promise, I enjoyed every second. And I'll want it again tomorrow."

Logan watched her a moment. "You're human," he pointed out softly. "You're not a mutant, you don't have a regenerative healing factor, you're...fragile."

"I can take it," Ketti smiled softly. "I promise."

Logan sighed, reaching a hand to her hair and pushing back a piece behind her ear. "Wade's good at aftercare," he said softly. "I'll make you some food?"

Ketti nodded and he stood, ruffling her hair before walking to the kitchen. A few moments later, Wade came back, suit gone, replaced by casual sweats and t-shirt — which she blushed thinking of him wearing it while eating her out — and scooped her into a bridal carry.

"I can walk," she grumbled with a fond eye roll.

"Don't let Logan hear you say that," Wade snorted. "He's very particular that you can't when he's done."

"Oh," Ketti blushed, smiling. "I feel weird."

"That's sex, baby," he winked as they entered the bathroom and he helped her gently into the tub. "Real sex. It tends to happen when you find a guy who's been around as long as him."

"He can go for so long," Ketti remarked with wide eyes as Wade gently poured water through her hair.

Wade laughed. "Yeah, the enhanced stamina is great," he nodded. "Makes me fucking come for days, and it's like a fucking cumfest every time we fuck, but you, kitty, have to be careful."

"I don't mind," she shrugged. "I kinda like it."

"Being used by a stronger man?" Wade snorted. "I'm shocked. Your daddy issues are progressing."

"I don't have—"

(Yes, you absolutely do.)

"What is that?" Ketti asked quietly. "When you look away. Who do you talk to?"

Wade blinked, scrubbing shampoo into her scalp. It smelled like flowers and tangerines and definitely wasn't Logan's. (And I have no need for shampoo.)

"We're all in a movie," Wade said simply. "And technically, this is a fanfiction. A book. Based on my movie."

Ketti blinked, eyebrows tugging together. "A...movie? A fanfiction?"

"Yeah. I talk to the audience. Comment on situations."

"Oh," Ketti hummed. "Okay. Cool."

Wade sighed. "People don't usually ask," he informed her. "They just...think it's fucking weird. Or schizophrenia."

(It's neither.)

"Hey, Wade," Ketti started as he rinsed out conditioner. At his hum, she continued. "How'd you and Logan get together?"

(That's a story that would take approximately two hours and seven minutes.)

Ketti giggled at his words and he smiled down at her.

"It's a story," he shrugged. "Just...know there was a Honda Odyssey and the homicidal psychopathic, kind of hot, twin sister of Charles Xavier—"

"—Why's that name familiar?"

"Don't sweat it, angel, the X-Men timeline is messy (and the author doesn't know how to read it properly so we're sticking by whatever the fuck we want) so just focus on whatever happens now."

"What's gonna happen?" Ketti asked gently.

Wade paused in washing her leg. "You fucked Logan," he pointed out. "And you're gonna fuck me. So...we make gentle perfect love until the end of time."

"And...do you guys, like, grow old?"

Wade sighed, watching her. "Uh...not exactly," he replied softly. "Logan could die in a technicality, but not really...ever. And I can't."

"Ever?"

Wade shook his head. "One cell's all I need to come back."

"Oh."

Ketti teared up despite herself, the realization of being with him and Logan would probably not be permanent. She wasn't sure why it hurt so much. She should enjoy the time she had with them. Would she grow old and they'd stay young?

(It's like Twilight, only with more blood, way hotter sex, and less religious guilt. Some, but less.)

Wade moved closer to her face and grabbed her chin delicately with his hand, water dripping down her chin.

"Hey," he said gently, meeting her eyes. "Don't think about it. Enjoy what we got. I will."

Ketti nodded, but the heaviness that creeped into her chest at his earlier words remained.

"Kiss me?" She asked softly, hoping he'd distract her from the thoughts in her mind.

He did.

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okiieeee some wade fluff because rn I'm rewatching deadpool & saw the sad edit and i just needed to comfort this man smh
anyways some smut at the beginning because haha jump scare
yes i do think wade has a taste kink wtf is your point and dw we'll get more threesomes later. ikikikikkkkk i said bucky chapter but it'll be in the next, next one i think. so two from now sooorrrryyy