Lani POV:

The tension at the dinner table was thick enough to be cut with a knife.

I was thankful for Midoriya's constant nervous chatters that filled the space—and, surprisingly, Bakugo for making a consistent ass out of himself with all the yelling and readjustment of his clear wedgie. It kept the attention off everything else.

The seating arrangement certainly didn't help, with Shouto sitting in between Momo and I, and Eiichi at my other side. Mai was glaring daggers of imprudence at me from directly across the table, and I'm not gonna lie, she was making me nervous. She looked rash and ready to start something with me, and I don't like not knowing what that 'something' is, especially at an important event like tonight.

Luckily—or, not so luckily—I didn't have to wait much longer to find out...

"So, Lani." The pink headed bitch in question cut through Midoriya's riveting conversation about his new vacuum cleaner. "Before you came back from wherever you were, Shouto said he didn't know if he was dating this woman, Momo Yaoyorozu. Perhaps you could be the one to clear up the confusion."

Ah. And there it is...

The consequences of my double life begin. While I had an amazing sell with Eiichi just a few minutes ago when I was 'in the bathroom,' my professional job is now suffering for it as I wasn't here to save Shouto from the clutches of this evil witch.

I saw him glance at me in my peripheral vision with a look of apology, but I kept my unwavering gaze on Mai, giving her a composed, smug smile as I took another bite of this wretched dairy free, dressing free, gluten free, sodium free, sugar free kale salad—whoever is in charge of the menu for this thing needs to be fired...or have their food laced with some damn chicken tenders, as that will probably kill them.

This travesty was definitely the work of an almond mom.

"Don't be ridiculous." I shrugged at Mai, thinking as quick as I could with an excuse. "Shouto absolutely does know. He just had specific instructions from me not to tell anyone anything. It's all part of tonight's act."

Mai narrowed her eyes, "Is that so?"

Trying to stall time, I hummed and took another mouthful of unseasoned kale leaves, giving the waiter an overly enthusiastic thumbs up as he walked by.

"Yep." I muffled through my bite, taking an abnormally long time to swallow. "You didn't think Shouto would give a boring ol' speech up there that didn't leave an impression with the audience, right? Nah. By the end of the night, you'll have a very clear answer to all your nosy questions, Mai. Oh—got a little lipstick on your teeth there."

Her suspicion immediately wiped off her face at my last words, placing a hand over her mouth before swiping her compact mirror off the dinner table.

I groaned at the bitter taste in my mouth and took a hefty drink of wine, trying to avert the subject as quickly as possible, "Anyways, now that I told you a little bit about ours, it's only fair you guys tell us about your speeches as well."

Midoriya opened his mouth excitedly before Mai closed her compact mirror with a harsh click, speaking over him competitively, "As far as the paps will know, Katsuki is the biggest homeless kitten activist the world has ever seen."

"The kittens would rather be homeless." I chastised. "What about you, Midoriya?"

The tension eased once the green haired guy started talking, proving to be the best buffer of our bunch by far. "Well, the hero commission gave me a speech to read, but I kind of tweaked everything! I want to talk about the power of friendship and All Might!" He beamed as Bakugo snarled quietly from next to him.

"Ah, I like it." I raised my wine glass in his honor. "Way to stick it to the man and do your own thing, you know."

Midoriya continued rambling, but the vibration of my phone had me no longer listening, quickly pulling it out and checking the message under the table cloth...

Text Message From: Private
Organized big sell once the dancing starts. At the end of the second song, head to the maintenance room in the back of the venue.
-Handler-
8:47pm.

My eyes visibly widened at the signature at the end of the message, never having seen it before. It was sent by The Handler—the leader behind the entire Mizuchi front. I've never once seen or heard from them directly until this moment.

That means they're aware of me. Not only that, but perhaps they're here at the venue themselves if they understand the mechanisms of this building, and the order in which things progress...

That's a sell I can't miss. I can't screw this up-

I felt a hand rest atop my knee under the tablecloth, immediately jolted back to reality with a deep inhale. Looking Shouto's way, I saw he'd already been glancing at me, and I quickly closed my phone, unable to compose myself quick enough.

"Are you okay?" He uttered as Midoriya continued to yap, giving my knee a soft squeeze.

He's always asking me that. He's one of the only people who continuously asks me that question, and here I am, repaying the favor by betraying him.

Never in my life have I felt so guilty.

"Yeah..." I croaked out, unable to resist sliding my hand under the table and placing it over his own.

It was only meant to ease his worries, and it was only meant to be a half second gesture. But, the moment my skin touched his own, I felt a pinch in my heart. A pinch of longing and aching, combined with a need to get out of here with him so everything would stop feeling so overwhelming.

But, that's just not possible, and I reluctantly slid my hand from his own a few seconds later, quickly turning my gaze back towards Midoriya. But, in the process, I unintentionally met Eiichi's eyes, seeing them locked on my lap. And, even if the table cloth was covering Shouto's hand, Eiichi clearly still knew what had happened if the jealously in his eyes was anything to judge by.

And now I'm going to pay for that...

I opened my mouth to say something quickly and intercept his intentions, but I was too late...

"Anyways, it'll be nice when this whole thing ends, huh? Hero Season, I mean. So much time together, and so many late nights with these two." Eiichi said of Shouto and I, turning to Momo. "I'm sure that's rough on you, hun. Right?"

Here we go.

"Eiichi..." I grit through my teeth before Momo immediately chimed into the conversation.

"Late nights? I-I wasn't aware of the late nights..." She trailed off, looking between Shouto and I for an answer.

"Mm, not that late." I smiled with forced politeness. "And if they are, things are always strictly professional."

"Are they?" Mai chuckled from across the table now, forcing another bite of kale salad into her mouth.

"Yes, Mai. They are." My smile grew stiff, resorting to the risky questions in an attempt to save face. "Unless you have evidence they aren't? Which you don't."

She laughed and choked down her bite of food, speaking to Momo over the rim of her wine glass, "I've never played drunk twister with one of my clients at a party, just saying."

Umm, she was there, too. But, that would not be a smart argument to make, given the situation...

Because Momo stopped eating completely now, grey eyes wide with shock and also an unnecessary amount of worry, turning to Shouto with a gasp, "Shouto, you got drunk? With this woman?" She asked, gesturing to me like I was a pandemic virus.

"We weren't drunk." Shouto simply said before I tried to do damage control.

"And, once again, it was part of work. An exercise to get Shouto some experience in the real world-"

"Ms. Hidaka. Please." Momo cut me off with as much politeness as she could muster, holding up her hand to stop me from speaking.

Eiichi chuckled a breath through his nose, "Yikes. She told you." He leaned into me with a whisper, taking a loud crunch from his carrot stick.

I shoved him away and sighed, with the entire table now quiet in tense silence as Momo spoke to Shouto, "Drinking, Shouto? Partying? Who....who are you? This isn't the 'you' that I know." She uttered loud enough for everyone to hear.

Shouto blinked a few times, and from the look on his face, I immediately knew he was going to say something that only made things worse.

"I don't think you really know me that well to begin with. And....I...well, I don't know you either, if I'm being honest." He said factually.

He wasn't trying to offend her. He was just speaking his mind, and a big part of me was proud of him for being so honest.

But, the publicist side of me knew this was taking a very dangerous turn for Yuna's plans with Shouto and Momo concerning this event. My job was to sell them as a couple to the world, and....

"It's not for lack of trying on my part." Momo sighed sadly, turning away from Shouto now.

...clearly, I am failing at that.

The table went so quiet now, you could hear a pin drop as Shouto looked at the table cloth, clearly confused and unsure of what to do.

"I'm sorry if I embarrassed you-" He settled on before Momo cut him off with exasperated frustration.

"Please stop saying that."

Midoriya and Bakugo had gone silent now, looking between the table and each other with wide eyes as they forced kale into their mouths rapidly.

"If it's any consolation," I dared to try again, catching Momo's wary eyes now. "I think you'll really like Shouto's speech at the end of tonight."

And, once again, that pinch in my heart came back. Because I knew what Shouto was supposed to say in his speech. He's supposed to announce Momo as his girlfriend, and...I know that's not what he wants. And that's not what I want either.

But, Momo seemed pleased. And in this moment....that's all that really matters.

"Really?" She asked curiously and hopeful, causing me to force a smile and nod.

"Y-Yea—yes. And...and Eiichi's right. Come this time next year, hero season will be over. And Shouto and I will be out of each other's lives. So, really....there's no reason to worry about anything." I nodded, trying to stop my voice from dropping at the words.

I felt Shouto's eyes on me, but I subtly knocked my knee into his own under the table, causing him to reluctantly turn away.

Momo glanced between the two of us, settling back into her chair with a little more relief than before, "I suppose that's true."

Another silence consumed the space before the stage at the front of the banquet lit up with some lights, gathering everyone's attention in the forms of polite applause. Present Mic came out on stage shortly after, giving the crowd a few waves.

"Welcome everyone to the 30th Annual Fresh Heroes Banquet! Let's hear it for this year's top nominees!" He cheered before a spotlight was shone on multiple tables in the dining room.

Our table was included, and suddenly the flashing of cameras and lights consumed our vision before Present Mic continued.

"We'll get to hear from some of our favorite fresh heroes in just a little bit. But, first thing's first, dinner has ended, and I think it's time for a little music to get this party going. What'dya think about that?!" He tried to hype up the crowd, gaining another mediocre cheer.

My chest stirred with unease at the knowledge that the dancing was starting. All I could think about was The Handler's message—a deal will go down at the end of the second song.

"Get on the dance floor with your dates and let's get it going!" Present Mic cheered before the ballroom music began to start.

Bakugo and I groaned at the newest shift in the night, and if there weren't so many watching eyes everywhere, I have no doubt him and I would remain on the sidelines for the dances, talking shit about everyone and each other.

I've been to enough events like these to know it's practically mandated to share at least one dance on the floor with your date. It's considered polite, and with all the heroes and paps around, being impolite and drawing attention to myself was the last thing I should do.

I'm not drunk enough to be dancing right now. Ugh.

"Well? Shall we?" I forced a smile at our group, lightly hitting the table with both hands to get people moving.

After the tense dinner discussion, the members of our table stood up more reluctantly than others, with all of us practically trudging towards the dance floor. I didn't give Shouto a chance to get too close for fear he'd try to dance with me instead of Momo, forcibly holding onto Eiichi's arm now.

I gave him an inch and he took a mile, smirking as he placed his hand on my lower back. We found a space on the dance floor, and I held onto his shoulders as we lazily moved around the dance floor, tense, completely out of sync, and silent.

It hadn't even been a minute into the song when I felt his hand slide onto my ass now, causing me to dig my high heel into the top of his dress shoe as subtly as possible.

"Move it. Now." I grit through my teeth, and I gave him the reaction he wanted as he chuckled and barely slid his hand up higher.

"I don't know why you're so prude." His voice held wicked suggestion. "It's nothing I haven't had before."

I scoffed and sneered in disgust, "You're repulsive."

Eiichi hummed and got bored with me, deciding to look around the dance floor until he zeroed in on Shouto and Momo. "My mistake." He said condescendingly. "I didn't realize you were into such younger guys."

Here we go again.

I dug my nails into his shoulders, wondering how a three minute song could seriously feel like such an agonizing eternity.

"I'm not into him, and he's an adult." I reasoned, causing Eiichi to let out a sarcastic 'ah' of relief.

"Good to know considering he was fingering you under the table-"

Losing my patience, I gripped his arms roughly and stopped us from dancing now, trying to get my point across, "He wasn't, and you need to fucking cool it. You almost blew things back there with Momo at the dinner table."

And now, Eiichi was the one to scoff, looking at me like I was insane, "So what? Not my problem, I'm only here for one mission. I don't have any loyalty to your stupid little publicist hobby."

"It's called a job." I retorted, looking anywhere else so I didn't have to see his disgusting face. "Maybe you should try getting a real one instead of selling illegal drugs all day."

It seemed I'd unknowingly hit a trigger as a wave of fury flashed in his copper eyes. If we were alone, I have no doubt he'd yell or do something that would draw unwanted attention to himself.

But, under the microscope of the public, he let out a throaty grunt of growing irritation and harshly yanked me closer like a rag doll, digging his blunt nails into the small of my back with warning, "Back atcha', bitch."

The two of us danced in awkward, angry silence for a few moments, clearly having nothing else besides our toxicity in common, before I decided to make the conversation about work, "Handler messaged me personally." I uttered just loud enough for him to hear. "They said-"

Now he was the one to stop our dancing, looking at me with uncharacteristically wide eyes, "What did you just say?" He almost gawked.

His reaction did nothing to calm my nerves. It's rare that anything is important enough to gather Eiichi's full attention.

"It's the first time I've heard from them." I simply continued, searching his eyes for any further reaction. "They said there's a sell after the second song ends. In the maintenance room at the back of the venue."

He looked at me blankly for no more than a few seconds before he composed himself, distractingly picking up our half assed dancing once more. For once, I was waiting for him to say something, realizing this is the one time I didn't find any peace in his silence.

"You're on their radar now." His voice became serious and lower with warning. "That means one of two things—one, you're either about to die. Or, two......you're about to get deeper into this business than you ever wanted to be. For your sake, you better hope it's the first one."

I blinked a few times and swallowed harshly at his words of warning. Eiichi is many things, and he's hardly ever honest. But, I can tell he's being truthful right now, especially because, as my partner, he knows that if I go down, he automatically goes down with me.

The two of us finished the remainder of the song in our own uneasy thoughts, dazedly coming to a halt and clapping when everyone else did. Present Mic returned back to the stage and gave the microphone a loud tap, giving a cheer to try and get the crowd hyped up....to banquet music...

"Alright, alright! That was some serious dancing!" He chuckled, clearly not believing his own words as he quickly moved on. "We're gonna slow things down a little for this next one—and we're gonna switch 'em up, too. Fellas, I want you to switch partners for this second song, and grab the pretty lady on your right."

With a roll of his eyes, Eiichi turned to his right, immediately breaking out into an obnoxious chuckle at the sight, "Wow. Isn't this just a lovely coincidence."

Momo stared back at him in realization, rubbing the back of her neck hesitatingly. One, because it was clear Eiichi intimidated her, but more than that...

She looked between Shouto and I, realizing I was also the woman on his right, not releasing her grip on his arm just yet.

And, it really wasn't a big deal, dancing with Shouto. I could have easily diverted the situation and picked someone else, but I physically couldn't resist saying....

"It's just one song. I don't bite—Miss Yaoyorozu." I bowed a little over dramatically, calling her by her last name the same way she did to me at the dinner table.

Yeah, it was a little catty, but look, I've been on my best behavior all night, alright?

She didn't get to protest as Shouto immediately slipped from her grasp like he'd been waiting for my confirmation. He walked over, keeping his eyes on me the entire three second walk. Eiichi and Momo reluctantly linked up, and part of me thought it was fate when the crowd of people on the dance floor got bigger in that moment, nudging them away from the two of us until they were gone from our sight completely.

***song for the moment: Angel Baby - Troye Sivan***

It felt like slow motion when we reached our hands out towards each other at the same time, and as cliche as it used to sound to me, I suddenly understood what people meant when they said electricity jolted from the touch of another. It's not just a work of fiction, but a real feeling.

The lights dimmed, and no one else existed as both of Shouto's hands slid to my waist. His touch was gentle, yet filled with certainty. There was emotion within it, and I felt wanted as his thumbs caressed the skin tight material of my dress, draping around my back until the tips of his fingers touched each other.

I smiled at him and placed my hands on his shoulders as we began to move slowly on the crowded dance floor. We flowed like water together, in sync, and present, and unconsciously mirroring each other in every way. I've never met someone...who aligned with me so well.

The music played softly, but our thoughts were loud as our gazes met, speaking a million words through our eyes that we'd never get to say out. He was so handsome, and for the first time all night, I felt like I could breathe as my hands went to the back of his neck, selfishly pulling him closer as this moment cruelly began to tick down on a timer.

"Shouto, I'm sorry." I uttered softly, continuing to meet his eyes because they were too alluring to look away from.

I could see that my apology didn't reach him, not because he didn't accept it, but because he couldn't understand it. But, even if he did understand it, I'm certain he wouldn't accept it anyways.

"You keep saying that." He said, letting his eyes trail down my face. "And I don't know why."

My fingers tangled the hairs at the base of his neck, and my gaze fell in guilt at the reality, "I'm sure you'll understand one day. And when you do, just know that I meant the apology every single time."

I can't be honest about much with him. But, that is the truth.

"I'm so worried...that the day will come when you hate me. I don't think I could bear that, Shouto. Not from you." My honesty couldn't be stopped.

In my heart, I knew I was getting too close to my real self and my real feelings. It's bad. It's dangerous. But, he's my soft spot. He's my vulnerability and, no doubt, the thing that will be the end of me.

One of his hands slid away from my waist until I felt his fingers under my chin, gently pulling my face back up towards his own. "I...I could never hate you." He said so genuinely. "You're actually the only person..."

He trailed off, and I should have left it that way. But, I'd become too wrapped up in what I wanted, gliding one of my hands from the back of his neck until my fingers were brushing away the stray hairs from his forehead.

"The only person who what?" I asked softly, realizing the only time I spoke like that was for him.

He reveled in my touch, and I loved it. God, I loved the reaction I was able to get out of him. I loved that I was the only person who could make his eyes close like that, and his brows furrow with the passion of emotion. I loved that I'm the only person who could elicit a breath like that from his mouth, one that simultaneously sounds like he's breathless but also just caught it. One filled with want, with longing.

"You're the only person I want to be dancing with tonight." He kept his eyes closed, almost seeming as if he was trying to dream from my touches to his face. "For...for all the songs. Not just one."

I held my tongue this time, because my heart told me to blurt out that I agreed. That I wanted even more than just to dance with him. That I wanted him more than just for the night. I wanted him in the mornings, and the afternoons, and the weekdays, and the weekends.

I wanted him for myself. All the time.

"Mm. Would you believe it if I told you I'm not much of a dancer?" I changed the subject, biting down on my bottom lip cheekily.

Shouto blinked a few times, "Yes, I would. You've stepped on my feet approximately seven times in the last two minutes." He said, causing my jaw to drop with a surprised chuckle.

"Huh? Why didn't you say anything?"

His eyes softened now, and the ghost of a smile barely grazed his face, instinctively looking down at our feet, before deciding he wanted to meet my eyes instead...

"Because I didn't mind it."

I looked at him for a few moments, and couldn't stop the smile that began to light up my own face, feeling the devilish voice in the back of my head immediately weigh me back down.

"You think too highly of me." I sighed, pulling him in closer as the song got closer to ending.

And, with all the bodies on the dance floor and the dark lights, we felt intimate and hidden from the rest of the world. It was why I couldn't resist bringing my head forward until it was resting on his shoulder, holding my breath to see what he would do.

He didn't tense. He didn't hesitate, and he didn't push me off. Quite the opposite as he rested the side of his face against my forehead, letting his fingers dance up and down my spine soothingly. We melted together, becoming one until our souls touched.

I exhaled peacefully and my eyes fell closed as Shouto moved our intertwined bodies back and forth.

I felt so safe. Right here.

A criminal in the arms of a hero.

"Um....I don't think too highly of you, by the way." His lips brushed my forehead with each word. "You just think too lowly of yourself. I...I think about you....how you really are."

I held onto him tighter as the song entered the last round of the chorus, feeling a lump starting to form in my throat at our fleeting moment. "You have no idea how much I wish that was true." My voice wavered, and god, he makes me so vulnerable.

His heartbeat was steady against my cheek as we continued to move, and I felt his own fingers starting to tighten around me slightly.

"I....I don't want it to end." He practically whispered, causing me to hum in question.

"What?"

"Well, it's just....the closer we get...to the ending of the song..." He elaborated, turning his face in towards mine slightly. "The closer we get....to...separating. And...I don't want to."

"I don't either." The words fell from my mouth in a breathless whisper.

It was becoming impossible to hide my feelings for him any longer. But, the end of the second song was my cue, and I bit the inside of my cheek in pain as I forced myself to lift my head from Shouto's shoulder, blinking away the haze from my eyes.

"But, we have to." My voice came out hoarse and raspy, grabbing both of his hands in my own. "A-And you have to forget about me, Shouto."

"I can't." He said immediately, softly shaking his head. "I'll never be able to forget about you. Lani."

"I-I want you to." I lied, trying to choke back the tear that clogged my throat. "I want you to forget about me, Shouto."

His eyes blinked a few extra times in simultaneous surprise and confusion, practically shattering my heart in two. The signals were mixed from me and I knew it. I felt fucking horrible for it. But, I needed to say it, something that would convince him to stop this—whatever it was the two of us had going on.

It's for his own good.

Somber silence consumed the space between us, feeling too long and also not long enough. Neither of us got to say any more as I felt a hand on my shoulder, a hand much colder and unforgiving than Shouto's.

"Pardon the interruption." Eiichi's voice came out apathetic and cold, and it was such a harsh contrast to the way Shouto speaks to me. "But, I'll be taking my date back now."

Shouto didn't even look at my ex as he spoke. He also didn't release his grip from me, he just continued looking at me, letting my wrists slip through his fingers of their own accord until I was back under Eiichi's claws.

Momo brushed past me, and her face looked even blanker and more dull than before, refusing to meet my eyes this time as she reluctantly stood next to Shouto. I don't know how much she saw of Shouto and I's dance. The two of us were pretty well hidden in the crowd. But, perhaps she didn't need to see anything....to know.

The clock chimed with a new hour, and the second song had come to an end. I felt Shouto's eyes still on me, but I couldn't bring myself to look, especially not with the light sheen of tears that had subtly clouded my own.

Instead, I ripped my arm out of Eiichi's hold and brushed past him to walk off the dance floor, going back to our dinner table to grab my clutch full of pills.

I heard footsteps behind me, and my heart strings tugged to know Shouto was following me, abruptly turning around to face him...

But, I was only met with Eiichi's copper eyes, seeing him look at me in confusion for whatever I'd been expecting. I wasn't even sure myself.

"What's with that face? Are you ready or not?" He asked with a shrug, brushing past me out of the banquet hall.

I stared blankly before daring myself to look back at the dance floor, seeing Shouto still standing in the same place I left him.

He didn't follow me. And, while it hurt like hell, I know it's for the best.

I couldn't stop the single tear that slipped from my eye as our gazes met. He stood thirty feet away next to Momo, but it felt like so much further. With a wall of heroes in between us, it felt like even if I tried to go back to him, we'd never be able to touch again.

So, with that, I simply wiped the tear from my eye and turned my back to him, certain he wouldn't follow me this time as I trailed after Eiichi.

Maybe this time....I finally got through to Shouto after all.

*

A/N: break next week! You guys can read ahead on patreon otherwise, see you soon!