ADORA – PRESENT DAY

"Eric, get in the fucking car!" I drive by Eric's side through the street. Cars are lining up behind me, drivers are honking and cursing.

Eric walks with his hands in his pockets, not looking at me.

"Come on! Jesus! I feel like an idiot."

Eric doesn't even acknowledge me.

"Come on, we'll go talk to Mark!" I shout. "We'll tell him the truth!"

Eric halts and I step on the brakes, "Are we going to tell him the truth or your version of the truth?"

I breathe out, "The truth. The actual truth."

Eric opens the door of the car and gets in, "I'm only doing this because I haven't slept all night and I feel like I'll pass out."

"You're acting like a chick." I murmur.

"And you're acting like a dude." He snaps right back. "Lying, cheating and playing."

"I wasn't playing you!"

"Like hell you weren't." Eric leans his head against the window. "Why didn't you tell me about Graham?"

"I thought I could handle it." It's the truth. "I didn't want to worry you."

"God, I'm so fucking disillusioned right now." He chuckles.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I glance at him sideways, a wave of fear swiping me.

"Nothing." He pulls out his phone and calls someone.

"Are you calling Mark?" My hands shake on the steering wheel and I can't help glancing at Eric. I don't think I'm supposed to be driving right now.

"Yes." Then, his tone changes and he speaks on the phone. "I'm here."

I can vaguely hear shouting on the other end, but I can't figure out what Mark's saying. To give credit where credit is due, Eric handled this way better than I did.

I didn't even pick up the phone when Mark called. I didn't even look at my screen for hours, afraid of the messages. Elaine is right, I'll lose everyone.

"She's with me." Eric sighs.

My heart misses a beat.

"We'll get to the Yard." Eric says.

"No, not the Yard." I cut in. "Everyone will be there, everyone will-"

"That's what he wants." Eric answers, still on the phone. "He wants everyone to see."

Fear curls around my lungs, squeezing the air out. A lump forms in my throat. I'm lightheaded and dizzy. It gets so bad I have to pull over. My hands tremble on the steering wheel.

Eric hangs up on Mark.

"Adora..." He rolls the words around his tongue. "You're not alone in this. We both did it."

I can barely breathe, "He's going to leave me. He's going to-"

Bile rises to my throat. I push the car door open, forgetting to check whether someone's driving by, and throw up on the street. Last night's liquor leaves me in the form of vomit. I cough out the awful taste, tears fall down my cheeks and into my mouth.

Eric is by my side in a second, holding my hair, "Come on, it's fine. Give me your phone."

"In my bag." I mumble, feeling a little better now that the fucking demon left my body.

Eric finds my phone and calls someone, "Robert? It's Eric, the one whose motorcycle you took yesterday. Can you pick up Adora's car? No, everything's fine. She had a bit too much to drink."

I lean against the car seat, trying to calm my breathing.

"Robert will pick up the car. Come on. We have to meet Mark or he's going to kill us." Eric offers a hand.

I can't move.

"Come on, Adora." Eric curls his fingers, calling me forth. "You saved your family from crippling debt, you dealt with everyone thinking you're a murder suspect, and you may or may not have killed someone. You can handle an angry boyfriend."

I nod, "I'm fine. It's fine."

But nothing is fine.

"Come on, we can handle this."

I take his hand, "You're the one who's going to get punched in the face."

Eric chuckles, "I deserve to get my ass kicked."

The walk to the Harvard Yard is the longest introspective period of my life, which, frankly, says a lot about me.

On one hand, I'm perfectly aware of what's about to happen.

I fucked up and Mark's going to leave me. I deserve it. I'm not running away from it anymore.

I didn't tell Eric about Graham, which means he's probably going to leave me, too. Especially since Graham is now dead. Eric didn't believe the allegations about me killing Graham before because he thought I didn't have a reason to.

Now he knows I had a reason, and I lied about it, which means I might be lying about other stuff, too.

I'm about to lose both of them.

On the other hand, I'm more confused than ever, because despite knowing I'm about to lose both of them, I still don't know which one will break my heart.

Mark is standing in the middle of the Yard. He's usually always careful about what he's wearing and how he looks like. Now, he's in his Adidas sweatpants, his eyes are puffy and red, his face pale. There are no words to describe how bad I feel when I see him.

Jimmy is by his side and a twinge of fear bites me, mostly because he looks like he just snorted a line of coke and is ready to beat someone up.

Not far from Mark, Katie and Melissa are walking around, pretending not to be here because of me. Did Mark really need to invite all these people to watch the show?

Mark's perfect face distorts into a frown and he lunges forward.

Eric can see him from a mile away, but he doesn't move when Mark's fists connects with his face. His head snaps back, a wince falls off his lips, but he does nothing to protect himself.

My lips part in shock, "Mark!"

Mark continues to hit him. Another punch in the face. A leg kick in his stomach. Eric stumbles backwards, his lips curl up in a painful snarl, but he still does nothing.

"Stop it!" I grab Mark's shoulders, but he pushes me away.

It's only when I almost fall to the ground that Eric pushes himself up and stands in front of me, guarding me.

"You can kick my ass if it makes you feel better, but you're not going to touch her!" Eric spits out blood.

"Fuck!" Mark shouts. "What the fuck?!"

Everyone's staring at us, even the people who don't know who we are; tourists visiting Harvard, eager freshmen, high schoolers thinking Harvard is a good idea. I wonder how will this affect Harvard's reputation.

Jimmy awkwardly stands next to us, his forehead veins bulging. Katie and Melissa are snickering nearby, enjoying the show.

I hide behind Eric like a coward while Mark rages around. He stretches his fists, shaking off the pain.

"What the actual fuck, Adora?" His wide eyes land on me. The blue stands out, surrounded by red, bloody veins. He probably hasn't slept.

I don't even know what to say. I feel like I want to disappear, disintegrate, die.

"Can we not do this here?" I shout, desperate to move somewhere else, somewhere where we can actually talk.

"No, we're doing this here!" Mark lifts his finger, anger sparking in his eyes. "How long has this been going on? What the fuck did you two do? Why?"

I open my mouth, ready to tell him everything, when Eric jumps in.

"We kissed once."

My eyes widen, "Eric..."

"We kissed once in the Druid." Eric continues. "Nothing else happened."

It's smart, though. He knows that whoever saw us must have seen us in the Druid.

"I don't believe you." Mark chuckles humourlessly. "I don't fucking believe you!"

"Well, you don't have to." Eric doesn't look at me. "But I'm telling you the truth."

"Why were you with her in Scranton, then?" Mark doesn't look at me.

I feel excluded from the conversation that is exclusively about me.

Eric lets out a sigh, "I followed her."

My head snaps to him, "Eric?"

Mark briefly glances at me, "What?"

"I followed her." Eric says. "Because I wanted more. I thought there was more between us."

Ache spreads through my chest. He wanted to tell Mark the truth, but he won't because of me, to protect me.

"What the fuck did you think?" Mark snickers.

Certain resentment courses through me.

Eric shrugs, still avoiding my eye-contact, "I thought I loved her."

Right in that moment, I forget my boyfriend is standing next to us. I look at Eric, hoping he would return the glance, needing to read his expression. He thought he loved me? What does that mean? What do I want it to mean?

"Adora and I have been together for five years." Mark says, coming a step closer, asserting dominance. "If you think our relationship can be destroyed with one kiss, you're an idiot."

"That's me." Eric's smile is thin, humourless. "I'm the idiot."

And he begins to walk away.

No matter how much I want to follow him, I can't.

Mark just said one kiss couldn't destroy our relationship. Does that mean he's willing to forgive me? Relief floods me and I find myself exhaling the breath that's been turning acidic in my lungs.

"You only screwed yourself over!" Mark shouts after him. "It's our friendship you've ruined!"

"Good riddance." Eric murmurs, but doesn't turn around anymore.

Focus on what's in front of you, Adora. Focus on the relationship you've spent five years building. Don't give yourself away by wistfully gazing at the lover you thought you wanted.

By the sheer power of will, I tear my eyes off Eric and turn towards my boyfriend, who's not even looking at me.

"Mark..."

"What the fuck, Adora?" Mark's shoulders slump, and for the first time in a while, I think I can see real emotion underneath his carefully crafted facade. "Why would you do that?"

"I'm so sorry, Mark." I squeeze my fingers, not knowing what to do with my hands. "I fucked up, I'm sorry."

"In the Druid?" Mark turns away from me and goes through his hair with his hands. "When I was there?"

I swallow the painful lump in my throat, "I'm sorry... I, I was angry, and frustrated, and lonely."

"Lonely?" He tilts his head and frowns. "Why were you lonely?"

"Because you're never by my side." I sigh, realising I'm about to tell all of Harvard about our intimate problems, but he's the one who insisted on meeting here. "Whenever we hang out, there's always other people with us."

"That's not true." Mark shakes his head.

"Yes, it is!" I raise my voice. "Every time we're supposed to go somewhere, you have to bring this fucking hoard!" I tilt my head towards Katie, Melissa and Jimmy, still lingering nearby.

They turn away like they're not here.

"Even now!" I laugh; the sound is desperate and slightly unhinged. "Even now we need an audience! Goddamn, Mark, the only reason they're not in our bedroom when we're fucking is because we never fuck!"

Mark flinches, "What?"

"You heard me!" My blood is boiling in my veins, everything I've kept buried emerges to the surface. "We haven't slept together in three months! How do you think I feel having to beg for sex?"

"Adora," Mark glances around, "Maybe we should talk somewhere else..."

"Oh, now we should talk somewhere else?" My laughter is manic. "Fuck, Mark, I tried so hard! But it's like you don't even notice me. Hell, even when I came to the Druid with Eric, you didn't notice me! Is cheating on you what it takes to ignite your interest?"

"That's uncalled for." Mark murmurs, he's retreating, this is too much attention for him.

And for a slight second, I hate him. I hate him for wanting to humiliate me in front of everyone.

"I'm sorry." I let out a shaky breath. "I'm sorry about Eric, I shouldn't have done that. I should have talked to you first, or I should have broken up with you first."

"No need." Mark lets out a laugh. "I'm the one who's breaking up with you."

Words get caught in my throat. Whatever I wanted to say dispersers and disappears.

"You humiliated me, Adora." Mark continues. "There's no fucking way I'm going to look past that. We're over. I hope you're happy."

"So, that's it?" I smirk. "The fact I kissed someone else isn't the problem. The problem is that everyone knows about it."

"I can't deal with this." He turns away from me. "I don't even know who you are anymore."

"I'm sorry."

Exhaustion turns into lethargy. I don't have enough energy to fight anymore.

Mark walks away from me.

The flock of chickens he's brought to this little rendezvous follow him immediately.

Katie stops near me, "You fucked up, Adora. Now you're going to get replaced."

"What? With a Walmart version?" I bark. "Fuck off, Katie."

She only offers a snarl before she hops after Mark. I knew the bitch was into him.

When the audience leaves and I'm alone on the stage, I feel only emptiness.