ELAINE – PRESENT DAY

I chose the wrong night to return the books to the library. The moment the news broke, I was stuck in this place. Now, I'm hiding in the Widener Library bathroom stall. The light flickers above my head and I'm afraid it'll go off and leave me in the dark.

Messages are blowing up my phone. People are calling me names. Slut. Whore. Murderer.

Myrtle and Sarah left our group inbox. They sent apologies and excuses, how they're not sure whether they should be near me right now. After all, they have their future to think about.

I can barely breathe anymore without crying. My hands shake as I try to open my phone screen. Josh's name keeps appearing and I know he means well, I know he's trying, but I'm a mess. My life has turned too complicated for anyone.

And now he knows I'm pregnant. Everyone does.

And if I don't have the baby, everyone will know.

If I'm not a murderer yet, I'll surely become one.

Another flood of tears burst through my eyes. I'm snivelling and blubbering on the toilet seat. Whoever's in the bathroom can probably hear me.

Adora's message lights up my screen.

Hand the reins to me. Tell me where you are.

Of all the people I've ever met, I would never guess Adora Arison would stay by my side. Then again, she's in the same mess I am.

I breathe in and breathe out. Let go. Hand the reins to her. She'll handle it. She can handle it.

As I type back the message, I think I owe that girl my life.

It takes Adora three minutes to burst through the door of the bathroom, "Out, everyone. Don't look at me like that, get the fuck out."

Then she knocks on the bathroom stall, "You in here?"

I unlock the door and look up at her, "Everyone knows."

Adora is wearing a knee-length, halter-neck, black dress. Golden jewellery clanks on her ears and her wrists. A sleek, golden line decorates both of her eyelids, sparkling behind the mascara. And she's pissed off out of her mind.

"How did they find out?" She grabs my forearm and pulls me up aggressively.

"I don't know." I shrug. "I haven't told anyone but you."

Maybe I should suspect her. Maybe I should be more cautious of her. But for some reason, she's the only person in the whole wide world I currently trust. A month ago, I would have sworn she's just a stuck-up, selfish slut.

Which, mind you, she is. But she's also fierce, and unapologetic, and kind of insane.

"Wash your face." She pushes me towards the sink. "You look like a drugged-up racoon."

My mascara is running down my face, "I can't deal with this. I don't know what to do."

But I still listen to her and splash some cold water on my face, which causes the headache to subside a little.

Adora stands by my side and looks into my reflection, "You do nothing. If they want to talk, let them. They have nothing better to do anyway." She takes out some tissues.

"It's easy for you to say." I use her tissues to wipe off the mascara residue; I wipe too roughly, the fabric hurts my skin. "No one's talking about you."

She snickers, "They've been talking about me my entire life. Come on."

"What? Where?" Anxiety ripples through me. "I cannot leave. Adora, I can't go out."

"We're getting out of here." Adora waits for me at the door.

She's not asking, she's demanding. But I'm about to crumble and die. My heart is racing in my chest, too quick, too painful. Pain spreads through my chest. I'm going to have another panic attack.

I'm going to die right here, right now.

"I-I can't." The words don't sound right coming out. "They'll crush me. They'll crush me, Adora."

Adora puts her hand on her hip and leans against the doorframe, "No one can crush you but you. And if you cower in a bathroom stall, they'll think they did this. They'll think they're responsible for crushing your spirit. Don't give them the satisfaction."

I know she doesn't really understand how I feel, nor can she. But there's something in the sheer confidence she's emitting. Also, I can't stay here forever.

"Where are we going?" I ask as I pick my bag off the floor.

Adora takes out her phone and calls someone, "Scranton, Pennsylvania."

My eyes glue to her, "Excuse me?"

"Road trip." She's not focused on me anymore. "We'll be out in a minute." She speaks to the phone.

"Are you insane?" Panic climbs up my throat. "I can't go to Pennsylvania!"

"Of course you can." Adora starts walking down the hallway. "It's Friday."

My jaw drops, "But- but- I have exams!"

"You also have a pregnancy scandal and half of campus is accusing you of murder." Adora turns around on her heel and walks backwards as she speaks to me. "You wanna stay here?"

"No." I whisper.

"We're going to Pennsylvania."

I follow her down the hallway. Students are glancing at us, they're whispering, theorizing. I want to disappear, I want to return to being invisible. Some people were born to stand in the spotlight, others were meant to stay in the shadows.

Adora is the former. There's something in the way she walks. One foot in front of the other, hips swaying, hair bouncing up and down. She doesn't care about the stares or the whispers.

In fact, I think she's enjoying it.

And for the slightest moment, I feel a little better.

If she can exist in this world of perpetual gossip and still walk down the hallway like she owns the world, maybe I can hold my head high and pretend it doesn't bother me.

I don't feel comfortable, and I still want to disappear, but Adora locks her arm with mine and stares down anyone who dares to catch her eye contact.

The night is slowly falling; I appreciate the darkness, I rely on it to hide me.

To top it all off, a Mercedes is parked in the Harvard Yard, waiting for us. Eric Slade exits the driver's seat, wearing the chauffeur hat, and leaves the door open for Adora. Josh pulls the window down and offers a small smile, strained and tense, but a smile.

I try to push down the overwhelming anxiety.

I wonder why he keeps trying so hard. Adora said he had a thing for blondes. Maybe that's it. Or he's using me to redeem himself, which would make sense considering his reputation.

I ignore the curios looks as I enter the backseat. The car's interior is modern and sleek, but also comfortable and spacious. Josh keeps on his side of the car, he's not looking at me.

Eric Slade turns around and offers his hand, "I'm Eric."

I take his hand, "Elaine."

"So, let me get this straight," Josh cuts in while Adora starts the engine, "You're cheating on Mark?"

Adora doesn't answer.

"With his friend?" Josh adds.

Adora glances in the rear-view mirror, "Didn't you let your friend fuck Chiara Abbot while you dated her?"

Josh shuts up.

"You two are friends?" Eric's gaze jumps from me to Adora. "And she's pregnant with Graham's baby?"

My nerves jump and I change the subject abruptly, "Why are we going to Pennsylvania?"

Josh's eyes widen, "We're going to Pennsylvania?"

Eric lets out an exasperated sigh.

Adora hits the brakes at the red light, "Yes, we're going to Scranton, Pennsylvania. Yes, I'm cheating on Mark with his friend. Yes, Elaine is pregnant and we're friends, none of which happened wilfully. Everyone done complaining?"

The seat eats me up. Eric and Josh both look at me at the same time. None of them say anything, but I can read their expressions. There's confusion first, then understanding, then something that resembles sympathy. I can't handle sympathy.

"What happened?" Josh whispers.

Bile rises to my throat. I can't talk about it, I can't think about it-

"Elaine doesn't want to talk about it." Adora says. "So shut up."

I fiddle with the handle of my bag and stare at my chipped nails, "What am I going to do now? Everyone knows, everyone's talking-"

"Who cares? They're not important." Adora takes a sharp left over the Charles River. Harvard is disappearing behind us.

"It matters!" I shout, so, so tired of her discrediting my emotions. "Everyone knows I'm pregnant! It's going to ruin me!"

"Hey, it's going to be alright." Josh tries, but I almost bite his hand off.

"No, it's not!" I hit the seat with my palms. "Nothing is going to be alright! It's too much, I can't be pregnant with the dead guy's baby, I can't be accused of murder-"

"Do you want a joint?" Eric Slade jumps in. "It'll calm your nerves."

"She can't smoke." Adora snickers. "She's pregnant."

I hit her shoulder from behind.

"Ouch! Okay, sorry!" Adora laughs. "But seriously, it doesn't matter. Their opinion doesn't define you."

"It kinda does, though." Eric shrugs. "I mean, I assume she's going to need an internship one day and whoever's going to give it to her will know about her."

"You're not helping." I murmur. "But you're right. This is going to stain my resume for the rest of my life. Everyone's going to judge."

"Fine, but why should that matter?" Adora shrugs.

Eric glances at her sideways, "Because us plebs need a job. We need other people to give us money. Otherwise, we starve to death. Hell, I made one mistake and I can't get a job, ever."

"I'll hire you." Adora suggests.

"I'm a convicted drug dealer." Eric eyes her.

Adora shrugs, "I appreciate the hustle."

"He's right, though." Josh jumps in. "Hell, I spent most of my life rich as fuck and everything was way easier. People excuse your behaviour all the time. Lose your money and no one gives a shit anymore."

"Thank you." I mumble.

"Oh, come on." I can see Adora's eye-roll in the rear-view mirror. "I had to remain squeaky clean to appease shareholders for my entire life. When I make a mistake, it can cost millions."

Eric narrows his eyes, "Did you know your stock price actually went up since you've been accused of murder?"

"Yeah, but those people also bought Shiba Inu. They don't count." Adora answers. "Why are you keeping an eye on my stock price?"

"Well, since I'm about to lose my only Harvard friend just because I wanted to hook up with you, the least I can get is some insider info." Eric grins.

"That's illegal." Adora murmurs.

"Not the first illegal thing I've done." Eric shrugs.

"Speaking of illegal," Josh cuts in, "you have anything on you, man?"

I rub my temples, "Please tell me there aren't any drugs in this car."

No one speaks.

My anxiety soars through the roof.

"I have some weed." Adora says. "But it's fine, nobody's going to search us."

"Only because we're with Adora Arison." Eric chuckles.

Adora stops by the side of the road, causing confusion in the car, "Get out. You're switching seats with Elaine."

Eric sighs, "Seriously?"

"Seriously." Adora only stares at him.

I know better than to contradict Adora, so when Eric leaves the car and shows up by my door, I take my stuff and switch seats with him. He's laughing and shaking his head while he does it.

Of all the people I've met, a convicted criminal might be the only person capable of handling Adora.

I sit in the front and close the door behind me, "Why are we going to Pennsylvania?"

"Because no one knows who we are there." Adora says. "And we need a break."

Gratitude fills my heart.

She's right. I need to get away. I need a break.

"Thank you." I murmur. "For dragging me out of the bathroom stall."

Adora squeezes my hand, "Anytime."

For a moment, I feel a little better. As long as I have someone to drag me out of my depressing cocoon and take me on an unsolicited road trip, maybe I'll be alright.