wiped out- the neighbourhood

~YOONGI'S POV~

"What do you mean the videos didn't get deleted?" you asked, seemingly panicking just as bad as he was.

Yoongi's jaw clenched, but his tears kept spilling anyway. "T-There's videos of my interaction with the fans, and my fight with Namjoon online."

"B-But I thought you said Hoseok talked to the guy?" you questioned, seemingly not wanting to believe the information you were being given. Yoongi didn't want to believe it either.

"He did, but the guy must've lied about deleting them. And he probably wasn't the only one recording either. I think our fight drew a lot more eyes that I had thought...Namjoon was right...I should've been more careful," Yoongi's voice broke again, and he looked down. He hated the fact that he was crying, but he hated the fact that you were there to see it even more. He didn't like looking weak, especially not in front of you. But, he couldn't help himself. He was panicking and worried and guilty and frustrated all at the same time; his body's response to the emotional stress was something that he couldn't control, no matter how bad he wanted to.

"W-What did Bang PD say?" you asked hesitantly. You squeezed his shoulder again, and he was overcome with another pang of guilt. Another thing had been ruined because of him, and now you were upset too.

"He told me that he saw the videos and then asked if I could come to the office right now, and Y/N, he sounded angry. I've never seen him angry like that," Yoongi said wearily, "I mean, what if he fires me? This is cause enough to get me kicked out of BigHit altogether!" He still wouldn't meet your eyes. You didn't need to see them while they were swollen and red and filled with tears.

"Yoongi, calm down," you attempted to coax him, but it wasn't any use.

"Calm down?! How am I supposed to calm down? I've already created bad press for his company, and they haven't even debuted us yet? How is he supposed to trust me after that?" Yoongi stood up then, feeling the need to pace to keep himself from having a full-blown panic attack.

"I mean he's a reasonable guy, so maybe he'll let this slide," he could tell that you were just blindly reassuring him now, trying to say anything that would help him calm down. It wasn't working, and he was growing more frustrated than anything.

"I can't even defend myself, though! Because everything I was yelling about in the video is what he originally warned me about, don't you get that? Everything I complained about what was he told me I needed to consider before I accepted the job! But I took the job anyway, and here I am, videos of me screaming about the same dumb stuff on twitter!" He threw his hands up in the air, his voice growing louder and louder with each sentence. With each second that passed, his mind became more confused and overwhelmed with everything. He was at a complete and utter loss.

You were silent for a moment, realizing something, "This is all my fault."

He sighed out of frustration and agitation, "What are you even talking about?! How could this possibly be your fault?"

"I-I'm the reason that you lashed out at them in the first place. If it hadn't have been for me then you wouldn't have been so frustrated with the fans in the first place; it probably would've flattered you otherwise!" you exclaimed, now looking like you were going to cry as well.

"Y/N, you're being ridiculous! I'm a grown man, and I make my own choices. Not everything is about you! Bang PD offered me an out, and I didn't take it when I should've. It's my fault for not doing that, not yours. I'm the one that got mad at the fans, not you. I'm the one that got in a huge with Namjoon right in the middle of a crowded restaurant, not you!" Yoongi was straining to lower his voice, trying to not attract unwanted attention just like he had on Friday.

"So you really did want out of all of this?"

He met your eyes then, and there was blatant hurt there; whether it was sadness or anger or guilt, he couldn't tell. He sighed, "Maybe so."

"Why did you bother with everything then?! Why did you drag our relationship through all of this if you didn't even want it?!" You were suddenly mad, maybe even furious and your voice was raising.

"If you want to fight with me, fine. But don't do it here," he said through a hushed breath. "And you already know that there was a part of me that wanted out; it's not like that's new information! I almost gave up my contract before but then the videos of me and Namjoon went viral, so I didn't really have a choice anymore," he exclaimed, fighting again to keep his voice quiet.

"But you did have a choice, Yoongi! If that one video was all there ever was of you, it would've only taken a few weeks for everyone to forget you," your arguing really caught him off guard.

"I'm sorry, but whose side are you on here?" Yoongi scoffed, backing away from you.

"There are no sides here, Yoongi. I just don't understand why you went through all of this trouble to get to where you are, and then say you wished you would've backed out when you had the chance!"

He bit his lip for a moment, eyes dark as they stared into yours for a few moments before he spoke up. "What is that you really want from me, Y/N?"

"What is that supposed to mean?!" you countered, arms crossing.

"You get upset when my work gets in the way, you get upset when I say I don't want to do this work anymore. You make me feel guilty for working because I'm away from you, but you feel guilty when I don't work because of you. Then you say you support my music and career, but it makes you sad when I have to make sacrifices for it. No matter what, we can't win. What is it that you really want?!"

His words apparently silenced you as you digested them, your arms dropping back down to your sides in defeat.

"If you can't even answer that question, then maybe we have more problems than I previously thought," Yoongi said quietly, right as the waitress brought over the food, seemingly confused as to why the two of you weren't sitting at the table.

"We'll take a check for that now, ma'am," Yoongi requested without taking his eyes off you. She nodded, leaving almost as quickly as she had arrived.

"I don't want to keep fighting with you. I feel like all we've done for the past month is fight," you whispered.

He hesitated then, the rawness of the emotion in your voice caused him to second-guess what he had been thinking. Why was all of this so hard? None of it should've been this difficult, but it was. And that wasn't something that two of you could push aside and continue ignoring for any longer.

"M-Maybe we just aren't good for each other, Y/N. Maybe that's why we can't stop fighting." As soon as he said the words, he was overcome with a flush of regret. But, he couldn't take those words back now. He'd be lying if he said that he didn't really mean it. Regardless, it hurt him to say the words just as bad as it hurt you to hear them.

You looked at him in disbelief, the clear shock in your eyes sending jolts of pain through his heart.

"Y-Yoongi-"

The waitress was back with the bill now, and Yoongi took a quick glance at it before reaching into his pocket to retrieve his wallet. He left a one-hundred-dollar bill on the table, the untouched food beside it.

"Bang PD is waiting, so I should go," He resolved quietly as he put his wallet away.

"Are you really going to leave things with us like this?" you challenged him, taking a step closer.

"You're going to be mad if I stay and mad if I leave anyway. I can't win. Call yourself a cab and get home safely. Don't walk," his words were somehow cold and rigid, all warmth and life that previously occupied him just a short 20 minutes ago completely faded. Because in that moment, he could only handle so much. Something in him broke. Maybe his faith in you had been shattered.

Or maybe it was his faith in himself.

|||||

"Do you the three of you understand how bad this looks?" Bang PD began slowly. He was sitting in his chair, his hands folded on top of his desk. Yoongi, Hoseok, and Namjoon were standing before his desk.

"Yes, Sir," the three of them said quietly at the same time.

"If the three of you hadn't already figured it out, I was planning on adding to your group and debuting you as a boy group..." Bang PD pursed his lips.

Yoongi's blood ran cold at the word "were."

"Sir, please don't involve Hoseok in this. He didn't do anything wrong," Namjoon spoke up bravely, surprising everyone else in the room. It said a lot about Namjoon's character that he wasn't trying to save his own skin in a situation like this; he was still defending his fellow members.

"Hoseok is in this group too. He could've tried to stop the two of you from going at each other like a bunch of immature junior high girls," Bang PD said sharply, and Namjoon quickly recoiled. Yoongi thought back to your words from that night, "You guys are acting like a bunch of middle schoolers" and winced. And then he thought about everything he had just said to you a few minutes ago, and how you had probably ignored him about the taxi and walked home alone anyway. He winced again.

"You all are definitely not giving me a whole lot of confidence in debuting you," Bang PD genuinely looked disappointed, and that made Yoongi feel even guiltier than he did before.

"We're really sorry, Sir. Especially me. Honestly, this whole thing was my fault. I was the one who was short with the fans, to begin with," Yoongi pleaded, not wanting the other two to suffer because he had made a mistake. He hadn't been much of a man lately, but this was at least one wrong that he wanted to attempt to make right.

"It wasn't just Yoongi's fault, though. I'm the one that started blowing it out of proportion and yelling at him for it," Namjoon countered, defending and protecting Yoongi without a second thought. And for that, Yoongi was incredibly thankful.

"None of that matters, because it's all of your faults. And now I've already paid to fly in a new vocalist, Kim Seokjin to work with you guys! Nonrefundable tickets! He just uprooted his entire life on the hopes to come here and debut with you all. If you three can't behave yourselves now with the very minimal pressure that you have, how do you expect to perform well under pressure that's a thousand times greater than this?" Bang PD questioned, sounded angry, but still, disappointed.

The three of them were quiet for a moment, considering the weight of the questions that they had been asked.

"That wasn't a rhetorical question; I'm legitimately asking. How do you think you're going to be able to handle this?" Bang PD pressed.

"I-I..." Namjoon began before falling flat, "I'm not sure."

Hoseok looked down at the ground, face now pale, "Me either."

Yoongi took a breath, "I don't know either."

Bang PD's mouth was set into a hard line, and it was clear that he was considering something. "If anything like this ever happens again, or if I get one more bit of drama from you guys, I'll replace you all without a second thought. Got it?"

"Yes, Sir."