"we need to cry, baby. and if we do, i know that would be alright."

cry baby- the neighbourhood

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~YOUR POV~

You knew you would always distinctly remember the look in Yoongi's eyes as he walked off the stage that night, coming toward you swiftly and seemingly without a second thought about it.

Maybe it was the atmosphere of the concert that made you feel okay for a few moments. It made you nostalgic for that first time you had seen him perform. It made you remember what it felt like when he came down off the stage, off the high, and went straight to you. It made you remember how things were back then before anybody knew his name.

It made you miss those times.

And because of all those feelings, your heart was weak. So, in turn, you didn't push away when he came down off the stage and hugged you this time. He was holding you tighter than you were holding him, but you didn't hang limp as you had when he had kissed you before. That small decision probably did more damage that you intended it to, and you weren't about to make the same mistake again.

You hugged him for a minute, and the memories of why you really loved him and wanted to be with him came rushing over you during that time. Even though tensions were rising and things were changing more drastically by the day, he was still Yoongi. Despite everything, you still wanted to him to succeed. You remembered the image of a boy who was crying on the curb about how he wasn't good enough to accomplish his dream. And now, he had arrived; right on the edge of everything he'd ever wished for coming true.

"I-I'm sorry I was late," you stuttered, and Yoongi leaned in closer, his lips against your ear.

"I'm glad you came," he whispered in your ear, relief somewhat lining his voice.

"The traffic was insane. I ran the rest of the way here," you admitted without thinking, cheeks growing hot in embarrassment at the realization that you told him that.

Yoongi pulled away then, still close to you, but holding back so that he could see your face. You couldn't read his eyes or his body language; it was impossible to tell what he was really thinking, how he was really feeling. You looked at him and felt confused in your heart in mind, uncertain of when exactly things became so blurred and muddy between the two of you. Why did it feel like he was still far away, even though he right in front of you? Why did it feel like there was some invisible wall keeping you apart?

And why did those things hurt so much?

The rappers on stage were practically spitting fire, and the crowd surrounding you was entirely too hype. But, you and Yoongi were still. You were staring at each other, no more words leaving your mouth nor his. He looked at you, and then at your lips, and then back at you again, seemingly debating something within his own mind. And truthfully, you were having a debate of your own.

Was it okay to just act like this past week of bad behavior never happened? Was okay to pretend that he hadn't hurt your feelings incredibly badly, and just move on without a word about it? Was it okay to ignore issues that were clearly there between the two of you?

You bit your lip, watching his movements carefully, desperately trying to gauge what his next move may be.

And just like that, his mind was apparently made up. He moved farther way and stopped touching you completely. Again, you couldn't read his expression.

"Let's go to my green room so you can meet Namjoon," he finally spoke up, being loud enough for you to hear over the music. You nodded and he began walking out and down the side aisle, going out of the concert hall to get to the green room.

You both quickly arrived at a door that had a piece of paper hung on it, reading "Suga & Rap Monster".

You looked over at Yoongi, raising an eyebrow, "'Suga'?"

"Namjoon thought we needed stage names, and that's the one I chose," he explained, swinging the door open without bothering to knock first.

"Yoongi!" Namjoon exclaimed, whipping around to put his back to the door as you turned away. He was in the middle of changing his shirt, his entire bare chest exposed.

"Whoops, sorry," Yoongi replied awkwardly, turning you around once Namjoon's shirt was on and covering him.

Namjoon forced a smile, although his blushing cheeks gave away his embarrassment.

"You must be Y/N," he said politely, bowing slightly in greeting.

"Yes," you smiled, "You must be Namjoon."

He nodded, cheeks still red, trying to recover from the previous extremely awkward moment. "Did you enjoy the show?"

"Well, I only got here just when Yoongi started rapping. I'm sorry I didn't see you too," you apologized honestly. You wished you could've seen the entire performance.

"Don't worry about it," Namjoon waved your comment off and suddenly Yoongi was standing beside you. He'd been quiet for the whole exchange.

"Are we supposed to stick around and talk to Bang PD?" He asked.

"I'm not sure...There's still over an hour left in the concert," Namjoon seemed to be considering something. "How about you two go out for bingsu?"

"Bingsu?" you raised an eyebrow.

"It's Korean shaved ice," Yoongi replied before his eyes darted back to Namjoon, "How about we all go? Wouldn't want you to have to hang out here alone," Yoongi said through slightly gritted teeth. It was obvious then that he didn't want to be alone with you, at least not yet.

Namjoon and Yoongi seemed to have a silent debate mostly carried out by intense stares tossed at one another before Namjoon finally caught on, "Oh sure! Ha-ha, I'm always down for bingsu!" he chuckled awkwardly and you glanced over at Yoongi who was forcing a smile.

"Let's go then," you said before they forced you to sit through another thirty seconds of awkward smiling.

After reminding them of the terrible traffic you encountered on the way to the concert, the three of you decided to walk instead. The bingsu place was only two blocks away from the venue anyway.

"So, Y/N," Namjoon began, "What's your major? You're in University, right?"

"Right. I'm majoring in business," you replied. Somehow the walking formation had ended up being Namjoon flanking your right side, and Yoongi flanking your left. You were walking in between two very attractive boys down the street on a crowded Saturday night. And people were staring.

"Oh, business. That's cool," Namjoon said half-heartedly as he too had noticed how many people were looking at them as they made their way down the street.

"Yeah," you replied flatly, growing incredibly self-conscience at the unwanted attention.

"Guys?" Namjoon said, looking around intensively, "Why are so many people looking at us?"

The street they had turned onto was full of young people as there were mostly PC rooms and coffee shops and karaoke rooms in the surrounding area.

"Hmm...this is weird," Yoongi agreed, closing a bit of the space between the two of you that he had purposely left before. "I mean I know I'm kinda hot...But I'm not that hot," he joked, trying to lighten the mood.

"If there's staring at us because someone is hot, then they're obviously looking at Y/N," Namjoon teased, crossing his arms.

You opened your mouth to combat his statement but there was suddenly a small group of teenage girls grouped before the three of you. You looked over at Yoongi, confused.

"Are you guys Suga & Rap Monster?" one tall girl asked, smiling so hard it looked like it probably hurt her face.

"Yeah, are you?" another one asked before anyone physically had a chance to answer.

"Yeah? What she said! Suga? RapMon?" Yet another girl piped up.

The three of you turned your heads, looking at each other with confused expressions before Namjoon took the initiative to answer the questions.

"Um...Yes...?"

"We knew it!" one girl called out, seemingly celebrating

"Oh my gosh Sarah is gonna be so jealous!"

"But honestly, they're not as cute in person," The tall girl smacked her gum, and your eyes widened at her ridiculous comment.

"Excuse me?" you started, but Yoongi's hand was the clasped around yours, silently telling you to stop.

"How do know who we are?" Namjoon asked, his voice still polite even though the bratty girls didn't deserve the kindness.

"Didn't you know? Someone at the concert recorded a video of you and Suga. BigBang's official twitter retweeted it and it's going viral," the tall girl replied, still smacking her gum. You felt yourself twitch with annoyance, at first assuming the girl was making everything up.

"Wait, what?" Yoongi said, his face serious now. "But we only performed like 20 minutes ago."

"Oh, Suga. You really don't know anything, do you? Anything can go viral in 20 minutes," she replied in a bored tone before spitting her gum out on the sidewalk.

"Come on girls, these guys can rap but they're kind of dumb. Oh, and RapMon, I think you should lose some weight if you're going to become a K-Idol. Toodles," the tall girl said as she began walking away, her pack of disgusting followers in tow.

"I'll fight her," You exclaimed, blood boiling at the way she had just barged in and insulted your boyfriend and his coworker. "I WILL FIGHT THEM!"

"Y/N, stop," Yoongi attempted to calm you down, but it was no use.

"Who do they think they are? You guys aren't objects! They can't just tell you to your face that "you're not that cute" or that "you need to lose weight"! Are they even human?!" You shouted, growing angrier by the second.

Namjoon just stood there and Yoongi let go of your arm.

"I'm serious! Namjoon, you have some of the biggest abdominal muscles I've ever seen for crying out loud! And Yoongi! You are a thousand times more attractive in person, and picture and video of you don't even do your beauty justice!"

Suddenly, Namjoon was laughing, and Yoongi was laughing right along with him. Your eyebrows furrowed, confused and mad that they were laughing at you while you were so upset.

"What are you laughing at?" You asked in a small voice, now embarrassed about your extreme defensiveness of them.

"I'm flattered that you think I have "the biggest abdominal muscles you've ever seen for crying out loud," he chuckled, "But I'm not worried about those girls."

"What?"

"Y/N, didn't you hear what they told us?" Yoongi laughed, smiling at you.

"What? The part where she called you guys ugly or the part where she called you fat?" you snapped, irritating at them both.

"Y/N. A video of Namjoon and I have gone viral on Twitter. And BigBang noticed us. Don't you know how big of a deal that is? We haven't even debuted and it seems like we already have fans," Yoongi grinned, explaining why he and Namjoon weren't phased by the girls' rude comments.

"Oh," you said, absorbing his words and the reality of this situation really meant.

Namjoon giggled, "I think Bang PD is going to be very pleased."

"You're right about that," Yoongi agreed, and the three of you began walking again. And while you still had the occasional set of eyes follow you, no one else came up and invaded your peace or privacy.

The conversation was light at the bingsu place as it was mostly just Namjoon asking you questions about your life and plans for after University. He also asked a few basic questions about you and Yoongi's relationship; such as where did you both meet, when did you start dating, etc. But you had a rather strong feeling that he probably already knew the answers to the majority of those questions. Namjoon was acting like he already knew you, and you figured that meant Yoongi had done quite a bit of talking about you. Boys have to express their feelings too.

Yoongi was quiet, but he didn't seem upset or angry. He seemed to be pondering over a lot of things so you just let him be.

On the walk back, however, Namjoon ended up calling his mother on the phone to tell her the news, leaving you and Yoongi walking alone, little ways behind him. The streets had mostly cleared by the time you were walking back, so there weren't any prying eyes, which you were grateful for.

"Y/N," he began, and your heart dropped as you prepared yourself for what you assumed was going to be a hard conversation. "First of all, I just want to say that I'm really sorry for the way I acted this week. It was selfish and immature, and I know I was sending you way too many mixed signals."

"Okay," you said quietly, waiting for him to continue.

"I've just had so much on my mind, and I've been scared of a lot of things lately. I think between the stress of everything that happened with Stevens and my conversation with Bang PD, all my fears and worries kind of built up and overwhelmed me all at the same time. I'm not using that as an excuse for my behavior, I just want you to understand where I was coming from," he continued, not making eye contact with you. It was a telltale sign that he really was sorry.

"You said before that Bang PD gave you an out with your contract if you wanted. And you said you needed to consider all of the things you'd be giving up if you debuted."

Yoongi nodded, "Yes...And I've thought those things over."

"And?"

"It doesn't matter now anyway because I've just become famous," he said, his voice suddenly sadder than it was earlier. He wasn't piping with excitement about the news of the viral twitter video anymore.

"Why do you look sad about it? Did you decide last minute that you didn't want this?" You asked, fear rising in your chest. Because now, you were no longer mad at Yoongi. You understand that he had a lot on his mind, and he had apologized for his behavior. There was no need to hold a grudge. But now, your heart ached for him as you feared the worst. You feared that he had decided to terminate his contract, and now that choice had been ripped from him completely.

"It wasn't that I didn't want to debut...I was just worried about...Us," he finished, grimacing as if he didn't want to admit that, but he didn't want to lie anymore.

"What does that mean?" you asked, your voice more scared than defensive.

"I was scared that after I debuted you'd eventually break up with me because of hard it's all going to be..." he trailed off again.

"Why would I do that?" you demanded, angry again now that he assumed so much without even talking to you. Was this why he'd been so distant for an entire week?

"Because I don't think you understand how hard it's really going to be with everyone knowing my name. What just happened with those girls back there, that kind of stuff will happen all the time," He argued, the both of you finally stopping your stride to continue talking. "I'm going to be away a lot. People will recognize me in public. It's going to be different-"

"Stop! Just stop!" You cut him off, "Do you really think that little of me? That I'm going to run off and leave you behind because of all that? You really think that I don't even want to try?"

"Stop putting words in my mouth! I didn't say that you didn't want to try this, but I'm saying that I don't think you understand how difficult it's going to be! I was just worried I was going to lose you! I'm human, okay?! I get insecure too!" He yelled at you for the first time ever. And you were shocked. Blinking slowly, you took several seconds to form a response.

"Yoongi...I-I'm not just going to walk away from all of this. Not after everything we've been through to get this far...I don't want that to be something that you're afraid of," you said, face becoming wet when you hadn't even realized that tears had brimmed in your eyes in the first place. "I want this to work," you cried, "I want us to work."

Nodding, Yoongi's eyes became soft and understanding as he pulled you against him.

"I want us to work too," he murmured into your ear, arms around you in a noticeably gentle manner.

"A-Are you s-sure you c-can deal w-with it all?" you mumbled against his chest, the words coming out in stutters.

"Y/N," he had never said your name with such intensity before. He pulled away from the hug, your face then in his hands. "I don't want all of this if it means I don't have you."

And before you could reply, the two of you were kissing. It had only been a week since his lips had last been on yours, but that one hardly counted. You couldn't think of the last time you had shared a kiss like this with someone if you had ever shared a kiss like this with anyone.

This kiss was desperate, unlike all of the other cute ones you'd shared with him. This one felt like you were the last person he was ever going to get to kiss, and he was putting his all into it. This one wasn't sweet and gentle and calming. This one was a bit rougher, a bit more careless.

And you were aware that Namjoon was probably awkwardly standing down the street behind the two of you, waiting for your session of PDA to be over with. And you knew that Bang PD was probably waiting on them get back. And you knew that maybe you should've thought of all of this through and peruse the slight possibility that perhaps Min Yoongi was bad for you.

But, you kissed him back anyway. The damage was done. The decision was made.

You were in for the long haul on this one, whether you liked it or not.