I'm dead. At least I think I'm dead. Problem is, I don't exactly know what makes a person dead. There were no white lights, I never saw my life flashing before my eyes, in fact, I don't see anything before my eyes right now. Just... space. Black, blank space.

I can't see, or speak, or taste anything right now. It's as if I'm asleep. I would have thought I was asleep, too, if it weren't for the voices all around me.

 Finally, I hear a door slam open, footsteps fast. Suddenly there is crying, yelling, and people chasing after her. Her. I think, if that's even possible right now.

Somehow, I know it's Angie who came into the room running. I hear the melty voice that originally drove me to love her, only it's hoarse this time. I never thought this about her before, but I wanted her noise to stop.

Why was she crying? I suppose now I'll never know the answer. One of the many great things about not being able to talk, is that you also can't ask any questions.

"You're not allowed to be in here, only family--" someone starts. Only family?

"No!" she yells, interrupting the woman. "He doesn't have a real family! I am his family! I love him!" she cries, and I hear her fall to the floor, hands clapping her mouth. The one I never got to know, never got to touch. The ones I never got to kiss.

"Angelica," the woman starts, but yet again is cut off. "Please! Nurse Haynes, I... I need him."

So it was a nurse. That means... I smell the air. I'm in a hospital. I realize. But... why? I wonder, and just as I do, I remember. Everything. It all comes back in a blur.

The knife falling to my neck and the rush to the hospital and then the ambulance's sirens piercing my ears and then again when I finally lost consciousness. I can't remember, but there was something else. No, someone else... And then I do.

Angelica.

She was there throughout it all. But then they made her leave. Why did they make her leave? I want to know. Why isn't she allowed to see me? Why am I here? Why can't I open my eyes to see her, or my mouth to tell her it's okay, or to reach out to hold her in an embrace that could last forever? Why, why, why?

And that is how I came to this conclusion. I know, somehow, that I am dead.