Weeks have passed since that night, and I have grown unbelievably close with Jackson.
I tell him everything, and I would consider the boy one of my closest friends.

I have also gone on two more dates with Jay. I can't say that I am as close with him as I am with Jackson, but we are getting there.

And I honestly do not know how to feel about that. Originally, I was one of the many girls swooning over Mr. Park. But then I realized that he was not worth my time. Once this was brought to my attention, I had swallowed back any trace of feelings that I might develop for him.

As of now, those feelings may be starting to resurface. I still don't necessarily have feelings for him, but I can't bring myself to cut connections with him.

"Raina, what are you thinking about?" His unique voice intruded my thoughts. His body was turned, facing me so that he could listen intently to my response.

"Nothing," I said with a smile.
The truth is, it doesn't matter what I was thinking. Whenever I hear the sound of his voice, I lose my train of thought and begin to focus on the way it sounds when my name leaves his lips.

You could say that this is the one of the stages to falling in love, and I would not argue with that. But I can't help but admire things like this, even if I force myself not to like Jay.

"I don't think you understand how much I like you." He shot me a serious look. I bit my lip, hoping that it would prevent me from blurting out anything I will regret.

"I wish I could say the same to you," I respond with an uninterested tone. Jay's face drops immediately.

"I'm not joking."

"I'm not joking either, Jay."

"I just want you to notice how much I care for you," He answers, running a hand through his dark hair.

"I don't know you that well, so you couldn't care for me that much."

"That's why I have been taking you out on so many dates, though. It's so I can say that I know you."

I leaned back into the chair I was sitting on.
I don't understand why he insists on getting close with me.

I don't want to know him that well. This way, when he tries to break my heart, it won't be nearly as devastating.

"I'm not going to hurt you," he assured.
But I didn't believe those words. The ones who promise not to hurt you are the ones who leave you to sit in your room at night, wondering what you did wrong.

"I have to go," I said while quickly standing up.
He was hot on my heels as I sped out of his home.

"Why are you leaving so soon?" He blurted.

"I have somewhere to be."

_________

I raised my hand to the familiar wooden door, knocking. Minutes later, it swung open.

"Raina," he said. There was a smile evident on his features. "Come in."

His broad figure moved to the side, allowing me to walk into the beautiful home.

"What brings you here? I thought that you were with Jay." He spoke again. His tone showed that he was surprised, but Jackson should know by now that I prefer to spend time with him than the other playboy. I've started to realise that Jackson isn't really a player, he just comes off as one.

Jackson flirts with girls, and he's extremely handsome. But everyone in town misjudges him.
Well, he actually brings it upon himself. Jackson wants the reputation of a player, but I have yet to figure out why he would want that.

"I'm getting tired of hearing his lies," I answer, inviting myself upstairs and into his room.

"What is he lying about?" He asked, following me.

"Jay said that he cares about me."

"I believe that he does, Raina. And if you didn't believe it too, you wouldn't be spending so much time with the guy."

"He's just going to end up hurting me."

"If you think that, stop hanging out with him. Just cut communication with Jay so that it doesn't drag out."

"Whatever, I didn't come here to talk about my problems. I came here to spend time with you," Jackson's face brightened, and he bit his bottom lip to hide the huge grin that was plastered on his face.

I just want to spend time with my friend, not worrying about Jay. But to my dismay, my phone went off. Glancing at the screen, I toss it onto Jackson's bed.

"Aren't you going to answer it?" He asks, examining me closely.

"No," I state innocently.

"Alright, let's watch some movies!" He requests, pulling me down on the ground with him.

"What are you doing?" I ask giggling. Jackson pulled me into his embrace.

"Getting comfortable."

"Don't you think that your bed would be more comfortable?"

"Yes, but Jay would kill me if he found out that I was laying in my bed with his girl."
I slap Jackson, causing him to groan in pain.

"I am not his girl," My voice snaps.

As we watched movies, my cell phone continued to ring. And I continued to ignore each call.

"Raina, seriously." He whines.

"What, Jackson?"

"Answer the call!" He says in between laughs. "We can continue this some other day."

Reluctantly, I pry myself from his grip and grab my phone. Walking out of his room and into the hall, I dial Jays number.

Whatever he has to say better be good. Although, I have to give him some credit; How many guys are this persistent? I can't think of any others.

Within two rings, he answered.

"Raina, why aren't you answering my calls?" He blurts.

"Hello to you too!" I joke.

"I'm not kidding."

"Me either," I say with a giggle.
I seem to giggle more often when I'm talking to him.

"Alright, where are you?" He asks. "I'll pick you up."

"There's no need for that."

"Yes, just tell me."

I bite my nails, hesitating.

"I'm at Jackson's," I say finally.
But there was no answer on the other line.

Walking into Jackson's room again, he was waiting eagerly for me to explain what Jay had wanted.

"He hung up on me," I said with a dry laugh.

"What did you say?" He answered, shocked.

"I said that I was at your house."

"Jealous," Jackson stated, shaking his head.

What is there to be jealous of?

___________

Sighing, I take in the sight before me. Jay had picked me up, and he drove to a beach. But we aren't on the beach, we are admiring it from his car.

The air is cool, and Jay didn't want me to get cold. I enjoy staring at the waves from a car anyway, so I have nothing to complain about.

The windows were slightly open so that we could hear the gusting winds. Followed by that, the water would crash against the sand, sending a feeling of nostalgia through me.

I turn my head to the side, looking at Jay. He was leaned far back in the seat, fingers pulling at his lips. His eyes were heavy since he was so relaxed, making it look like he would fall asleep any second.

I sigh once again, pulling his hand away from his lips. He always seems to do that when he is deep in thought. Except I don't think there are any thoughts running through his head-- just contentment.

The calm vibe that I was getting from him radiated into my body, making the atmosphere feel extremely comfortable.

His mouth curved up into a smile, and he lazily turned his head to look at me. I smiled back, but mine took much less effort.

"You're so tired," I observed while running my gaze over his handsome facial features. He nodded, reaching for my hand.

His long, slender fingers laced with mine.
I stared at our attached hands, not knowing how to feel about it.

It's obvious that I have a small crush on Jay. But I feel the need to push him away, because I'm afraid of his bad boy ways.

"Stop thinking of me as just another playboy," He says as if my thoughts were spoken out loud.
"I swear, I don't want to hear you say those words again."

"Then prove to me that you aren't just another playboy."

"I'm trying," he whispers. The pleading look in his eyes made my heart leap at him.

"Sorry for being so hard on you," I apologize.
I really do feel guilty for the way that I have been treating him.

"I understand," he answers. "You are worth the wait."

"Tch, whatever." I run a hand through my thick hair.

"Why do you always think that I'm joking?
I can see that you are different, and I admire that about you."

"That's what they all say," I mumble, looking out the window.

"What do you mean?" He asks, squeezing my hand.
I had actually forgotten that we were holding hands this entire time.

"You'll say that I'm different, but turn around and tell another girl the exact thing."

"Raina," he whispers again.
The way that he says my name send a thousand butterflies through my stomach. Even if it was just a husky whisper.

It's almost painful, the way it feels. But as crazy as it sounds, it's a pleasurable pain. I want him to say my name in the caring way that he always does, making me completely swoon over it-- over him.

"Darling, look at me," He commands, gently turning my chin towards him.

He didn't say anything, though. I had expected a lecture on the fact that he only cares about one girl, followed by me calling him out on the lie.
But I didn't get a lecture. I didn't even get a word.

His gaze was powerful.
It always is, but it was different this time. It was dangerous, capturing me completely.

I'm so tired of the mixed feelings I have for this boy. I go from completely wanting to be with him, to not wanting to hear his name.

I can't help but thinking that this is my subconscious way of not letting myself fall in love with him.
I keep telling myself that he is no good, but he keeps telling me that he is good.

"Can I kiss you?" He asks tenderly. It was the most gentle tone that he has ever used with me.

I shake my head slowly, denying him. If I'm trying to not fall for him, the last thing I should do is kiss the guy.

Jay nods, facing the beach once again. He chewed on his full lips, squinting his eyes. It makes me curious as to what his thoughts were.

Was he angry?
Disappointed?
Did he not care at all?

To be completely honest, I hope that he was affected by my decision. It sounds rude, but if he doesn't care-- lets just say that I would be the one who was disappointed. Hurt, even.

"Jay," I whisper. His head turns quickly towards me, looking curiously into my eyes.

I have no idea what I was intending to say. I just wanted him to look at me.

Eye contact may be dangerous, especially with him. But it is such a lovely thing as well.

But Jay took my silence as an invitation.
Slowly, he leaned forward without breaking eye contact. When he saw that I wasn't moving back, he continued to move toward me.

One of Jay's hands was caressing my face, and the other had found its way to the small of my back. There was an extremely small gap between the two of us.

The small distance made my heart pound, and I'm surprised that Jay couldn't hear it.
His eyes flickered down to my lips.

Yet I was too distracted by Jay's hot breath fanning my face. He was breathing quickly, almost as if he was nervous.

The suspense started making me antsy. I swept my tongue across my bottom lip, moistening it slightly.

This triggered Jay, and he leaped forward to close the gap. His nose brushed mine, and it made my legs feel weak. It's a good thing that we aren't standing, because I probably would've fallen over.

Jay rubbed his soft lips across mine, like he was letting me know that he was really going to kiss me.
I let out a shaky breath, as he nibbled at my lip.

We haven't even kissed yet, and he's already biting my mouth. Talk about moving fast.

Finally, he softly planted a kiss onto me. His hand pulled my body further into his, a silent plead to kiss back.

And I did.

I kissed him back.