CHAPTER 13

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REKINDLED OF HOPE!

*:･ﾟ✧

"How did you get in here?"

The Child saunters closer to Gaia with a squeaky coo, his round eyes brightening and big ears curving. She rubs the remnants of sleep from her eyes and sluggishly drags her legs over the brink of her bed, glad that Thero is out and about as a tired smile breaks out across her lips. He would have most likely told her that she wasn't ready for another visitor just yet, since speaking with Omera yesterday spent most of her energy. Today was actually focused on her resting and recovering. Regardless, she doesn't care right now, surely not when it comes to The Child.

Gaia scoops him up into her arms. She has not seen him for some time and although she would never admit it to anyone, she has certainly missed the little energetic troublemaker. He seems to have longed for her presence as well, extending his hands forward and securely grasping her jaw — a growing habit she has no qualms against.

Gaia does wonder, though, how he had managed to wadle himself all the way over here. Someone must have been on babysitting duty, and surely they wouldn't have allowed for him to wander this far and out of sight.

Gaia views downward at The Child as he babbles happily. "Devious, aren't you?"

"You're okay."

Gaia nearly jumps off the bed and ten feet into the air by the abrupt voice coming from the doorway. She expels a heavy sigh of relief once catching a glimpse of the gleaming Beskar trapping the sunlight to its surface, noting of The Child gurgling with joy once perceiving Mando. "You scared me," she breathes, a stuttering surge trembling amongst her ribcage like bewitched vines.

"You're okay," Mando repeats as if out of breath, wandering towards the bed. He stops up in front of Gaia, visor glaring down at her as if tacitly judging. "How are you feeling?"

"Pretty terrible," she admits in a heartbeat, eyes drooping. "But I thought you already knew I was awake? Didn't Thero tell you?"

"No," Mando says in earnest. "I take it he didn't want to disturb me. I've been busy."

"So I've heard." Gaia exhales with obvious fatigue, her limbs heavy and sore. "But I'm all right. . .I think. This dreaded fever is still hanging onto me though, but at least I feel a little bit better. It's still. . .sort of surreal to think that Sorgan was trying to kill me—"

"What did—?!" Mando stammers. "What?"

Gaia offers him a rueful twitch of a smile. The Child shifts in her arms and she can feel his eyes on her, as if sharing Mando's flustered discovery. Gaia stumbles with her next words, partly scared of recalling Thero's chilling diagnosis and actually saying it out loud to Mando, who's obviously in an assembling panic. What her future statement entails is not exactly calming and it might spiral him into a serious fright, but she cannot avoid it. Gaia would wish that Thero had just done it and actually informed Mando instead of having the burden fall to her, but knowing the Mandalorian has been occupied as of late, she can understand why he might have held back.

"Um. . ." Gaia trails off, somewhat reluctant to share any further clarification. It's not necessarily because it's Mando, but rather because she doesn't know how to break such crucial information to another living being.

'Good people are hard to come by nowadays - especially those who would risk everything for another,' Omera had softly indulged her. 'Promise me, that you'll look after him. . .'

'I promise.'

"Thero told me," Gaia starts slowly, "that the reason why I fainted was because, well, my body was — and still is — not quite accustomed to Sorgan's environment. Or as he meant it:everything. It was basically tearing my immune system down. . .and he surmised that if I hadn't pulled through, my condition would've declined and killed me."

Gaia blinks up at Mando who has gone utterly silent. Her gaze skitters to the side as an akward silence is wedged between them and then back up at the Mandalorian, wondering why he's so absent of a reaction. She leans forward and backward a little, eyebrows furrowing, attempting to discern and see through his helmet to peek for a facial expression. Unfortunately, there is nothing new or even remotely distinguishable, still.

"Say something," Gaia murmurs, feeling The Child lean faintly into the crook of her neck.

"I'm. . ." Mando draws out while adjusting, "I'm glad that you're alive. And recovering."

"So am I."

"I don't really know what else to say," he confesses in a sheepish voice. "I'm sorry."

Gaia pushes a reassuring smile forth in his direction, hoping he won't feel guilty for his lack of words. "It's fine. I wouldn't know what to say either so don't worry about it. Really."

Once more, a tricky silence comes and goes like the howling wind cresting the top of a snow-capped mountain. Gaia rummages through her thoughts for anything to talk about;if anything is even worth mentioning. Her search turns desperate after a while, and labeling it as unpleasant would be a serious understatement. Her mind inevitably settles on the embarrassing incident that happened a few days ago, when she was taking a nap inside the Razor Crest and had accidentally confused Mando for someone totally else.

"I'm sorry for snapping at you when you woke me up," Gaia apologises, steadily peering up at Mando and biting her lip. "I want you to know that I'm not angry at you, or anything."

"I accept your apology. . .but why 'did' you snap?" Mando questions a bit hesitantly.

"You really wanna know?"

"I do."

Gaia pats the bed like a child would to a wildflower and Mando follows her moderate implication, claiming a seat beside her. She can feel The Child nuzzle his face against her collarbone at the same time, and he must be half-asleep by now. "What I'm about to tell you is not easy for me to say, but I'm ready."

Gaia trails off despite getting this far. Mando is able to sense her debate if it's really worth mentioning after all, and before he can change his mind, he nervously reaches out to her. His hand seeks hers, fondly slipping his palm atop her knuckles to reassure her that everything is all right, replicating the gesture that was shown towards him when he was still fairly new to The Tribe, his found family. The other Mandalorians wanted to let it be known to him that they truly cared and listened, that he was never alone and that confrontation like this may never be easy.

"When I was younger, the Galactic Empire struck my homeworld and captured my people." Gaia reels her attention in, focused on driving the words out. "My mother and I, we survived. . .but my father, he was sick and bedridden, dying, so they left him behind."

Gaia clears her throat in pause, feeling a rough pull seize within her. It's harder to tell than she thought it would be. "Stormtroopers brought us back to their warship and began dividing us into smaller groups. My mother was sent to the mines on a planet far away with a few other survivors who were selected, while I was told to stay. That was the last time I saw her. I didn't. . . They wouldn't let me visit her, or even tell me where she was held, no matter how many times I asked. I don't even know if she's still alive and it make—"

Gaia breaks the sentence off knowing she's going too far. Mando squeezes her hand in comfort, allowing her to calm down and proceed when she's ready. "I'm not proud of the things I've done. I did what I had to do in order to survive. That's how I met Lavendea."

Mando's back straightens, and Gaia tightens her grip on The Child. "Lavendea was. . .this amazing, brave person. Another Crenata. She was also a fellow assassin, but even so, we protected one another;had each other's back, and we grew up together. She was really special to me, someone I knew I could rely on without having to doubt her for a second. . ."

Gaia falls morosely silent all of a sudden, prompting Mando to gently ask, "Was she. . ."

"Yes." Gaia's voice is barely audible, buried grief and sorrow digging at her tone. It may as well all be said. "She was my lover."

Mando's head lifts slightly in surprise, yet no further comment is made from him about the topic. "What happened?" he inquires instead.

". . .She died," Gaia reveals, quietly. "The higher-ups sent me and my squad out one day to eliminate an underground group operating with the Alliance. It was a small one, but they still knew how to put up a fight even when they lacked numbers." A flash of woe crosses her stiff features. "It was a mess. Lavendea got hurt, somehow. I couldn't keep track of when it happened or how exactly, but it did. She was bleeding out, and she fought until her last breath, she really did, but it was for nothing. The others knew it the whole time, but it was me who had to accept it in the end."

Mando is taken aback, watching Gaia focus on the floor now, her eyes rigidly pinned and downcast. "I have never wanted to escape a place so badly before as I did back then. . ."

Gaia eventually slips her hand from Mando's warm touch and is making her palm face upwards, tucking the sleeve of her shirt away to showcase her delicate wrist. There's an array of faint scars lining her skin there like a disorderly stack of trees, scars that were deliberate and precise yet of miserable and regretful intentions. "Imperial doctors put a tracker in each of us so they knew where we were at all times;near our wrist, deep under our skin. It was done with such expertise that it would require much time for one's tracker to be removed, and not die in the process."

"Are your scars a product of that?" Mando delves. "You trying to get your tracker out?"

"No," Gaia says with a hint of shame. "I guess I just. . . I don't know what I thought. Maybe I just wanted to know if I was still alive." She diverts from the ongoing conversation rather quickly then, remarking, "When the Empire fell, I found a surgeon a couple of months later. The tracker left me. I destroyed it."

". . .And here you are."

"Here I am. I can say that it's definitely better now. It feels better, I mean," Gaia reflects in a lighter tone. A sense of peace unravels in her weary bones. "Thank you for hearing me out and not. . .I don't know. . .—running away thinking I'm some sort of strange lost cause."

"I would never," Mando says wholeheartedly, the disclosure reminding him of his own private loss which has caused him so much pain over the decaying years. "And I want you to know that the pain does fade, one day. You just. . .have to keep believing until that one thing comes along for it all to make sense again. And when it does, you never let go."

"Have you found yours?"

"Partly. Think of mine as a tracking fob: I have the coordinates and know in which direction to go, and now I just need to catch the fugitive." Mando nods, encouragingly.

Gaia bobs her head slowly along, not realizing exactly what the 'tracking fob' must mean in the eyes of Mando, but it must be his tribe or clan since it's clear that he has found peace in them. She does wonder, though, what that last part of his metaphor must be and when it will most likely appear. "Are you close to catching them? —If you had to guess. . . ?"

Mando goes completely silent for a brief moment. Gaia is unable to decipher his cloaked expression, but his lack of an answer must mean that he's rethinking how far along he is in the process of reaching his fulfilment. Little does she know, he's not pondering, but looking at her. "If I had to guess," he chimes lowly, "I'd say I'm not that far off anymore."

"Really?" A small smile adorns Gaia's lips, and for once it reaches the corners of her seraphic eyes. It's a smile full of bright hope.

"Yes. Actually, I think. . .it's just a matter of time now before it's starting to make sense."

— Author's Note —

Phew. I don't know about you guys but — yes — I do realize that was a lot of information all at once. To be honest, I didn't really know what else to write so I thought 'why not throw that tragic backstory in there'. Still, I thought it went pretty. . .okay? I don't know.

Have a nice day, everyone♡

(btw, thank you all so much for the amazing support you're giving me. It makes me so happy, and I can't help but smile every time I receive a comment on my story🌸)