Did you think we'd be fine?

Don't think it's in the past

These kinds of wounds they last and they last

~~~

Ahsoka locked her and Carys in their room and didn't come out. Carys was worried about her mother, she'd never seen her like this before. So distraught and sad and disorientated. 

"Mommy, what's wrong? Why did you attack that man?" Carys asked innocently.

Ahsoka sighed. She was hoping to avoid the subject, but she knew that would be next to impossible. "Well," Ahsoka started, "he's... a bad man. One of those Separatists I told you I used to fight." It wasn't a complete lie. He was a bad man and he was a Separatist... at least at one point.

"Oh... okay." The two sat in silence for a few seconds. Then Carys spoke, "If he was a Separatist then you should've killed him," Carys said without hesitation. Ahsoka just looked at her, eyes wide and mouth open. She couldn't believe her daughter had said that. Sure she was threatening to kill Lux, but could she have actually gone through with it. She did hate him with every fiber in her body for what he did, but she wasn't sure she could actually kill him. Though she had to admit she had thought of it before. Making him beg for mercy at her hand.

She shook away those thoughts. Those thoughts led down a dark path, and though she did not consider herself a Jedi per se, she still considered herself a servant to the light side of the force.

"Carys... Mommy was just in the heat of the moment. I don't think I could've killed him, it wouldn't have been right. Remember, killing out of anything but self defense is wrong."

Carys nodded. "I understand." Again, there was a brief silence between the two, before Carys again spoke. "Mommy, can I go play with Ezzy or Sabine?"

Ahsoka shook her heard. There was no way she was letting that man have the chance to get close to or talk to her daughter. "I'm sorry tungu, but you have to stay here." She saw her daughter's face fall, and a frown form. She felt bad keeping her daughter cooped up in their room, but she couldn't risk it. "You can't go out there because... there's lots of big, bad battle droids out there! If you go out now they'd overpower us for sure. We have to wait for them to pass." A smile formed on Carys's face again and her eyes lit up. One of her favorite things to do was play Republic vs. Separatists.

"Alright once they past let's go out there and scrap some clankers!" Carys shouted. Ahsoka just laughed. Carys ran off to her drawer and pulled out some paper and crayons. Looked like she was going to draw some more pictures to pass the time. Ahsoka smiled and began to meditate.

It was tough for her to get anywhere in her meditation though. Every time she closed her eyes, the scene from five years ago played in her mind, the yelling, screaming, crying, it was all too much for her. She had been making progress, moving past everything, getting over it, getting over him. Just when she had started making that progress, BOOM, he came slithering back into her life.

She was so caught up in her thoughts and memories, that she apparently hadn't heard someone knock on the door. Carys had though, and she got up and opened the door. Ahsoka didn't realize until it was too late, who was at the door. Once she did, she stared in horror as Carys looked up at the man.

She panicked. "Uhhh... Carys... the droids have passed. Go get Ezra and Sabine to help you ground them into dust."

Carys's face lit up. "Okay mommy!" The girl said cheerfully, running off to find Ezra and Sabine. She could hear her calling out to them as she ran. Normally this would put a smile on her face, but given the circumstances...

"Hey," Lux said hesitantly.

"Hey? HEY? That's all you have to say to me? After everything you did, you just reappear in my life, and all you say is 'Hey'?" Ahsoka hissed. She could feel anger and hatred rising in her again.

"Ahsoka..." Lux said placing his hand on her shoulder. She immediately slapped it away.

"If you'd like to keep your hand," Ahsoka started calmly, "Then DON'T. TOUCH. ME." She shot through clenched teeth.

Lux took a step back because he did want to keep his hand, and based off of her earlier reaction to seeing him, he didn't doubt she'd follow through with the threat. He was thankful that the little girl had stopped her, or there was a good chance he'd be dead right about now.

Speaking of the little girl, questions swirled through his mind. Was it... his? She seemed to be about the right age... but no, no there was no way, right? They had always been safe, and to further the fact, there was extensive research that a human and togruta having a kid was a 1 in 100 chance. He still couldn't shake the feeling that she was somehow his...

"Look, let's just get through this, we'll pass you off to Sato and he'll send you wherever and I'll be out of your life again. Just like you said you wanted," Ahsoka spat.

"Ahsoka... you know I never meant that. It was heat of the moment, we were both mad and yelling at each other, and it just... slipped out."

"Oh it just slipped out? That wasn't the only thing you said that night that hurt me. You tore my heart out, broke it, picked up the broken pieces, tore them up some more, and then stomped on them."

"Ahsoka... I've had a lot of time to think about what happened that night since then and..."

"And what? You're sorry? Yea that's not gonna work this time buddy. Sorry won't take away the pain and the nightmares I've to deal with because of that night! Sorry won't undo what you did! Sorry won't give Carys the years without a father back!" 

Lux gasped in shock... Carys was his... He didn't know how to feel, or what to do. He didn't know if he should he upset that he's missed out on five years of raising his daughter, or if he should be mad at Ahsoka that she kept her from him, or if he should be happy because he had a daughter.

Ahsoka on the other hand was terrified at what she had just said. She had let it slip out in the heat of the moment (ironic...) and now everything was messed up. She spent Carys's whole life trying to make sure Lux wasn't a part of it, and now he knew, and if she knew him, he would do everything in his power to stay with her.

"I-I have a daughter...?" Lux asked in disbelief. Not necessarily talking to Ahsoka, just voicing his surprise.

"YES! Okay! Carys is your blood, but that doesn't make you her father. You didn't have to deal with everything I had to when she was born. All the complications, all the bills, everything. You were nowhere to be found. Every time Carys asked me about her father, I broke inside. She told me all her friends had dads, and wanted to know where hers was. You know what I had to tell her? I had to tell her she didn't have one!" Ahsoka said, tears falling from her face.

"I didn't know..." Lux said solemnly.

"OF COURSE YOU DIDN'T! Do you know where I was coming from that night?"

"I mean I just assumed you were coming home from work... but no I never knew where you were actually coming from I guess."

"I was coming home from the doctor's office. He had just told me I was two months pregnant, and I was coming to tell you the happy news and as soon as I get there, you immediately start arguing with me before I can even get a word out!"

"Ahsoka I-I've changed! I regret what I did that night, so, so, so much. I just want you back."

"No it's too late for that. Get out of here. Stay away from Carys, and we won't have any problems."

"You can't do that! She's as much my daughter as she is yours!"

Ahsoka scoffed. "You lost the chance to be her father when you kicked me out that night. Now goodbye." Ahsoka used the force to push him out of her room, and locked the door behind him.

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ALRIGHT THIS IS THE REAL CHAPTER 3! SORRY ABOUT THAT!

Anyways, I hope ya'll enjoyed this chapter! Now I have something unrelated to this story I would like to share with you. Definitely give it a watch. It made me cry like a baby who just lost his binky 😭😭😭

https://youtu.be/dQKs6U8eWoQ