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Chapter 9: Surfers Only

"You did what?" My mother repeats, shocked, still refusing to believe it.

"I quit," I tell her for what feels to be the hundredth time. She's just not having it. She won't accept it.

"What were you thinking, Gabriela? If you go back and apologize you might be able to get your job back," my mother insists, not understanding how that job took away my dignity.

Tyler catches my eye and offers me a reassuring smile before he intervenes. "With all due respect, Ms. Hill, your daughter has been subjected to sexual harassment on more than one occasion at Bev's Dinner. It's degrading and humiliating from her standpoint. She doesn't need that, not in her lifetime."

He'd really make a good lawyer after all - not that I had doubts.

My mother's eyes widen as she turns to me after hearing this new information. "Is this true, Gabriela?" I wince, nodding. She falls silent. "You should have told me," she coos before patting my hand with her own. "I would have understood."

"Don't worry Miss Hill, we'll take good care of baby Gabb Gabbs." Caleb winks at my mom as they both laugh at my expense.

My mom exchanges a glance from Caleb to Ty to me, "I can't explain how happy I am that you're all friends again. You two are good for Gabriela. She needs you two."

"Don't we know it?" Ty teases, playfully nudging me before he stands up, "Anyways Miss Hill, it was amazing to see you again after all these years, but if we're to make it on time, then we should go now."

My mother offers Ty a tender smile before hugging him and Caleb goodbye, "Don't you two go and be strangers now, you hear?" She hollers at Ty as she holds Caleb aside.

Caleb returns the smile, "Don't plan on it Miss H, we'll be raiding your fridge in no time - just like the old days." He teases before Ty elbows him in the side for his inappropriate and very forward insinuation. However, my mom doesn't seem to mind, well aware of how Caleb naturally is.

As we exit my house, I stop dead in my tracks to face Tyler, perplexed. "Where are we going in any case?" I ask.

"You'll see in due time." Ty winks at me before Caleb takes me by the hand and tugs me after him and Ty as if I don't have a choice in this. Back in the day, I'd stomp my feet and protest - maybe throw a tantrum seeing as I hate surprises - but today I start afresh, today I want a surprise. So instead, I roll my eyes playfully, complying with the two as I allow Caleb to drag me along.

It's a couple of minutes later when we arrive at wherever it is we're supposed to be walking to. It's obvious we're at the beach, that much I can tell. Ty keeps his hands over my eyes as he leads me until we come to a halt. "Okay, open your eyes now," Ty whispers into my ear affectionately, forgetting to move his hands off my eyes.

I swat his hands away from my eyes. "Next time, just move your hands off my eyes m'kay?" I tease, seeing as he'd forgotten.

"Right," he agrees sheepishly, embarrassed. He steps aside, only to reveal scribbles in the sea sand alongside the ocean.

I frown, furrowing my eyebrows up in confusion. "Am I missing something here?" I ask softly, not trying to offend their efforts to make my day. Them just being here with me is enough to keep me happy. I love these guys. I always have.

Caleb chuckles from some distance away. He'd gone off on his own, choosing to fall behind - yet the breeze still carries his laughter in the air to us like wind chimes.

He calls over his shoulder to us, "Ty, you moron! She can't see from there. Bring her here!"

Caleb calling Ty the moron. Well, there's a first.

Ty mutters something beneath his breath before meeting Caleb halfway, motioning to me to follow him. I do without so much as hesitance. I finally catch up, stopping short just beside them as my eyes land on it.

There in the sand, the giant scribbles are revealed as a message, a message these two had written just for me, 'Riodilng thoem wlavep, uonituil theoirp gresamve.'

A puzzled expression fills my features as I raise my eyebrow, "Um...firstly, this message is long. How long did it take you two to do this for me? Secondly, what does it mean?"

Am I suppose to get it? They're doing a good job at making me feel stupid.

Caleb answers, "It took us all morning. Plus, Ty erased the pieces I wrote - like a million times - because apparently, it was too messy. According to him, you deserve only perfection. Clearly, my man here is still obsessed with everything that is you."

I glance to Ty to see him averting his eyes from mine shyly. He's not making any effort to deny what Caleb had suggested which worries me deeply.

"But Cal..." I start, using his old nickname, the mistake slipping from my lips before I have a chance to retract it. But then I see Caleb's wide grin and I just can't bring myself to correct what I'd said, not when he's smiling at me like he won the jackpot. I continue, "No offense but this message makes no sense," I point out, rereading it, refusing to acknowledge whatever it is Tyler keeps displaying to me through his actions and emotions. I can't think about things like that right now. I just can't.

Ty starts grinning deviously before he nods at Caleb, signaling something to him - making me all the more inquisitive to know what this is all about. "This one, Cal," Ty says, gesturing to the next wave coming in.

What are they up to?

Ty glances out to the sea, watching the next wave break as if reading it. We, as surfers, know how to read the sea. We taught ourselves and we learned. But then you get surfers like Tyler who just have a natural ability - a born gift - at reading the ocean, the waves and the way the waves break. He's always been spectacular at it. He'd give us warnings when not to go out to surf and we'd all listen - well except Jacob, Matt, and Chase that is. They were the rebels. They should've listened to Ty that night. If they had, Matt would still be here and Chase and I would still be friends. Jacob would still be around too.

I never doubt Tyler with his ability to read the sea. I put my full trust in him. He's almost never been wrong. "What is it?" I question Ty, wanting in on all of this.

Ty ignores me as he begins to count down aloud, "Three, two..." He starts softly, "One." He finishes in a whisper just as the wave breaks where we're standing, running right over my toes, reaching higher at certain parts of the shore and erasing some pieces and letters of their message.

"Oh no! There goes your message!" I exclaim as the water pulls back again, preparing for its next wave.

Caleb laughs at my words, shaking his head at me. "Ty planned this all out. Have some faith, Gabb Gabbs."

They're really screwing with my head. They wanted the water to erase bits of their message that they'd made me?

Ty sees my confusion, offering me a tender smile as he motions with his eyes to what's left of the message. "Look a little closer, Gabs. Maybe this time you'll see it."

I give in to him and look at the message again, reading it with the remaining letters that hadn't been washed out to sea. As I do, my mouth falls agape and my eyes widen with tears when I read it aloud, "Riding the wave, until the grave." I conclude before choking up.

These two must love seeing me cry.

I put my hand over my mouth as the tears begin to fall. They'd planned this perfectly. Ty knew that the sea would wash away some words to make his message readable. He'd predicted the waves of the sea and placed the letters in such a way that only the letters he wanted to remain untouched would survive the wave.

"Bro, I don't think she likes it. We made her cry...again," Caleb whispers all too loudly to Tyler. He'd never mastered the art of whispering. I shake my head at him as I turn to him, hauling him in for a hug. "Tyler help!" He yelps as I put my arms around his neck. "I think she's going to strangle me. It was all Tyler's idea, I swear!"

"It's tears of joy," I inform Caleb, holding him tightly to me in thanks, not quite ready to let him go.

"Oh." He sighs a breath of relief. "You mean, like happy crying?" He asks all too innocently, warming my heart further. He's too cute for his own good. Some lucky girl out there is going to one day have her hands full with him and his ability to always come across as absolutely adorable.

I laugh through my tears as I pull away from him, nodding. "Yes, Caleb. Happy crying," I clarify before I lunge for Tyler, throwing my arms around him next and drawing him into a loving embrace. "Thank you," I whisper to him before saying it louder so that Caleb hears too, "thank you both."

Ty chuckles as he hugs me back, keeping me firmly against him. "Did it make your day?" He breathes into my ear.

I nod into his chest. "More than you'll ever know."

I feel Tyler's fingers run themselves gently through my loose curls and an involuntary shiver runs up my spine at the soothing action - his compassionate words touching me, "Then my day has been made too."

'Riding the wave, until the grave.' That message isn't just some stupid words written in the sand by two dweebs whom I love dearly. No, that message means so much more to me. It goes deeper than the literal meaning. It's a phrase my brother always used - right up until the point where I lost him.

Not only did Matt ride the wave but he also rode it all the way to his grave. It's ironic really and it hurts to think about it like that.

The way I choose to see it, the words are a reminder of my brother and the way he thought, the way he felt, the way he lived...who he was. It's a way to honor his memory and Tyler knew that, hence why he went through all this trouble for me.

Caleb claps his hands, interrupting our moment as Tyler reluctantly releases me, "If you two are done, I got a photoshoot to get to!"

"That today?" I ask. Caleb nods. My face falls, "But that means Chase will be there. Do I really have to go? Can't I just be with you in spirit?"

"You mean as in not be there at all?" Caleb puts his perspective clear for me as to the way he sees it. He's rather blunt when he wants to be.

I sigh, knowing I can't abandon him on this special day of his. I have to support him. "Fine but I'm staying on the sidelines," I inform him.

"Yeah, sure, whatever you want," Caleb agrees as he beckons Ty and me to hurry up.

Him being in the magazine of 'BackWash' is a huge deal. I really want to go and watch but I also don't want to see Chase, nor am I ready to face Stella and Duke just yet.

I'm just going to have to suck it up and be a good friend for Leb.

*~*~*~**~*~*~*

"Mr. Caleb Shaw?" The director of the surfing photoshoot asks the small group of models.

"Here," Caleb says, raising his hand.

The director nods before calling out the next name on the list. "Ms. Stella Black?"

"Here," Stella, the caramel-haired, beach beauty answers ever so politely.

Someone pokes me in the side and I jump. "Jeez. Relax. It's just me." Tyler chuckles as we both stand slightly aside, watching the surfing models do their thing. "Why so tense?" Ty follows my gaze as he takes in Stella and Duke. Tyler puts two and two together. "You want to go say hi later?" He asks me.

I quickly shake my head. "I'm not sure that's a good idea," I tell him, despite the longing in my heart to reconnect with them both.

Ty knows me well enough to know what's holding me back. He offers me a gentle nudge to the side. "You don't gotta worry, Gabs. Those two will take you back in a heartbeat. You know how Stels is -- most compassionate person to ever exist."

"Duke?" I ask, frowning with concern. Duke and I weren't that close. We were friends but only because I was friends with his girlfriend. I knew him by his association with Stels and vice verse.

"That macho meathead has always had a soft spot for you. They'll take you back with open arms. If you thought it was easy with Caleb and me, it will be that much easier with the two of them," Tyler encourages me, reminding me of how Duke always took my side out of pity. "We're going to go say hi when Stels and Cal are finished with their shoot," Tyler tells me sternly, basically taking my option of saying no away. "It will be good for you," Ty adds. "Trust me."

I nod, convinced. "Okay," I agree. I'd trust Tyler with my life any day. We've always been that close.

"Chase Fuller?" The director continues through the list of surfing models.

"Here," Chase, some distance away from where Ty and I stand, answers nonchalantly.

"You'd better be. You're going to be on the front cover of 'BackWash'." The professional photographer - Sandy Burns - pipes in enthusiastically, the director nodding along with what she'd just said.

Chase doesn't even bother to respond. He merely offers her a faint smile in turn before ignoring her flat. It doesn't even seem like he's excited about this amazing opportunity, though he has had plenty of articles of him featured in 'BackWash'. He's probably used to the fame by now - that or he just doesn't care.

"Along with Sarah Gillies." Sandy - famous photographer in town - adds to her previous statement.

This month the magazine, 'BackWash', is specifically doing covers and shoots on all the most well-known surfers in town - as well as the most attractive surfers. They have to draw in a crowd and what better way to do it than through attractive faces?

Like Caleb, Chase too has a female partner to do his shoot with -- Sarah Gillies. Caleb's partner is Stels.

"Speaking of which..." the directors trails off and glances down at his list, "where is Sarah?"

Sarah Gillies is an extremely well-known surfer but she's not from our town. We don't really know her, we've only heard about her. However, I know her and Chase are good pals. Chase knows just about everyone worth knowing -- in other words, Chase knows everyone who has made for themselves a name in this town.

"She broke her leg over the week. I thought she let you guys know so that you could find a replacement for her," Chase explains to the director.

The director's face falls. "She most certainly did not inform us beforehand or inform us at all. Great! Just what we need! She has to drop us without any warning on one of BackWash's most important photoshoots yet."

Chase lifts his hands in surrender and shrugs. "Don't look at me. I thought she would have the brains to cancel. That's Gillies for you -- daft."

"You're just going to have to do the cover yourself," the director compromises all too quickly, needing a 'Plan B', giving Chase the upper hand in this situation.

"Fine with me," Chase replies, "I can handle it," he assures the director, confidence oozing off of him like waves off the ocean.

"I know you can, Chase. I've worked with you enough times to know that you're capable of doing just about any shoot." The director says back to him, unintentionally complimenting him, "But regardless of your skill, it does not excuse Sarah from this kind of behaviour. I'll have to speak with her manager."

"Alright, we'll give the lone wolf shot a try." Sandy reluctantly agrees with the director before glancing at Chase with a pitied smile, "But I was really keen on you and Sarah doing the cover shot. You're both famous in town for surfing and you contrast each other in the loveliest of ways. You both have sizzling chemistry."

"Sizzling chemistry my ass." Someone coughs from behind us, that someone being Summer Rawlins herself. As Chase's new fling, she's obviously here to support him - not that he needs it.

Ty chuckles mockingly from beside me at her complaint. "Someone's jealous," he whispers softly to me. I stifle my own giggles behind my fist and nod at him, agreeing. It's always been in Summer's nature to get jealous ridiculously easily.

The director, stressed out, begins clapping his hands at the others working underneath him, "C'mon! Let's get started. I want a clean wrap before six tonight."

The first pair of surfers are called forward to take their shots. The small audience permitted to watch are asked to take seats. I sit down beside Tyler, leaving an open seat beside me on the right.

"I feel kind of high up right now. We're some of the few allowed to sit in on the shoots." Ty tells me with a smug look to his face. "Good thing Caleb asked the director for us to be permitted to support him."

"Yeah." I nod with a small smile, in high spirits myself.

I feel someone take the open seat beside me before I hear a familiar voice. "Hey, Gabriela. Long time, girl. Missed ya."

I turn to my right to see black hair and blue eyes himself. "Hi, Duke," I reply back, unsure how else to respond without sounding like a complete imbecile. He'd actually spotted me with Ty and chose to sit beside me.

"Soft spot," Ty coughs from my left. I elbow him in his side, effectively shutting him up.

"Hey, Ty," Duke hears Tyler and greets him too despite what Ty had said beneath his breath.

"'Sup meathead." Ty gives Duke an acknowledging nod.

Duke, unfazed by Ty's insult, turns back to me, his blue eyes glowing with joy. "Where've you been, girl?" He asks me casually, not making a big deal out of my 'two going on three-year' absence. I'm grateful for that and appreciate Duke's attempt in rekindling our friendship in a way without bringing up unnecessary drama.

I shrug helplessly. "I've been 'round."

Duke notices my discomfort and merely nods before changing the subject. "There's going to be a beach party tonight. Everybody that's somebody is going. You should come."

Ty buts in, "Hey! How come Cal and I weren't invited? This is the first time I'm hearing about this beach party."

"Isn't it obvious? Take a hint, buddy. No one wants you there." Duke flashes Ty a teasing grin, the two of them bantering before Duke turns his attention back to me. "Stels would love to catch up with you. Seriously, come. You'd better be there, girl." Duke winks at me, still in the same old habit of referring to me as 'girl' rather than by my first name, not that I mind.

I offer Duke a heartfelt smile. "Sure," I answer, "I'll be there."

Duke's smile only widens upon hearing my reply. "Really?" He asks almost as if thinking that I would never agree to that seeing as it was at the last beach party held - two years ago - where I lost Matt.

"No. She just said that for fun," Ty remarks sarcastically to Duke, speaking on my behalf.

"Wasn't talking to you Ty, 'Mr. self proclaimed fly guy'," Duke mocks, using the old nickname that he'd always used for Tyler.

Nothing has really changed and it feels good to be in the loop again.

"Shut it, Meathead," Ty smirks, pushing Duke on for a reaction, knowing full well that Duke can only take so much before flipping out.

"Don't make me pummel you in front of a girl." Duke shoots a warning look at Ty.

"Please," Ty replies as his brown eyes meet mine, "Gabriela is all woman now." Ty winks at me flirtatiously, catching me completely of guard at his direct pass at me.

I flush red, being the 'easy blusher' that I am, as Caleb would say.

"Stop hitting on her," Duke comes to my defense, "you're freaking her out. You're probably the reason why she left in the first place," Duke jokes around but then, upon realizing the message in his words, quickly sends me an apologetic look. "I didn't mean anything by what I said. I just meant--"

"I'm sorry, Duke," I tell him earnestly. "I'm sorry I left you and Ty and the others all those years back. I was just, I was scared," I finally offer him an explanation as to why I just ditched two years ago.

Duke shakes his head at me with concern. "No need to explain. I get your mindset. Everybody's got to leave at some point, so long as we drift back to each other in the end, ya know what I mean?"

Thinking about it, he's right. I smile up at him, his blue eyes having brightened at my small action. "Yeah," I say, "yeah I know what you mean," I conclude with conviction, appreciating how understanding he's being. Duke has always been exceptionally sweet with the opposite gender, but not in a flirty way, more in a respectful way. He's always been a gentleman at heart.

"Caleb and Stella," the director calls through his megaphone, our attention immediately captured at the two names mentioned.

Caleb is shirtless for the shot in just his plaid blue boardshorts, bringing out the vibrant blue hue in his eyes, while Stels is in her plain, baby-blue bikini.

"Well, Stels looks smoking hot as always. Hot damn. She is so fine," Ty says quietly, in awe of her. I don't blame him and all the other guys. Stels has that natural beauty that no girl can possibly compete with, not even Summer Rawlins.

Duke scowls at Ty. "Lay off, bro. She's taken."

Ty grins. "For now."

I elbow Tyler yet again to get him to shut up before he pushes Duke off the edge. "Quit it," I whisper to Ty almost inaudibly.

"Or hit it," Ty finishes my sentence for me, not that I had been about to say anything remotely close to that.

"Tyler!" I hiss at him. 

If Duke had heard that...

"No need to be jealous, you'll still always be first..." Ty trails off as he finds my hand with his own before guiding my hand over his heart, "right here," he finishes, motioning to his heart, the one beating quickly beneath my fingertips.

I pull my hand away from him, my cheeks turning rosy red. In the past, I'd grown use to Ty's flirting. It's something to get used to again. Let's face it, Ty will never change, and quite frankly, I don't want him to. I like him the way he is -- flirt or not.

"Turn a bit more into him, Ms. Black," Sandy waves her hand, gesturing for the two to get closer. Stels obeys, her long caramel curls swept to one side, blowing in the gentle breeze as she leans into Caleb. "Perfect. Hold it," Sandy instructs the pair before taking a couple of shots.

Caleb and Stels look like glamorous surfers. If you didn't know any better, you'd think them to be professional models, judging by their body language and the way they portrayed themselves during the shot. They'd done brilliantly.

"Chase, you're up," Sandy hollers to Chase, having met him before. When Chase isn't there in a flash like Sandy had been expecting, she calls again at the top of her voice. "Chase!"

Chase, in only white boardshorts with his famous white surfboard under his right arm, finally strolls his way down to Sandy. "Chill out, Sandy, I'm coming. Always so impatient," Chase murmurs, the two of them on a first name basis seeing as they'd worked together in the past multiple times.

Tyler, Duke and I watch as Chase tries to pull off the shot on his own. He's doing a brilliant job, puts all the others to shame, but the shot stills feels as if it's lacking in something, someone. In this case, not even Chase's perfect body alone is enough.

After a few minutes of trying, Sandy shakes her head in defeat. "Nah uh. This is just not working, Chasie boy. I know you can handle single shot but this one is meant for two. It's too empty. The cover would look that much better if you had a female partner."

Chase sighs. "Fine. You're the expert. Find me a new partner then."

The director follows on Sandy's suggestion as he turns to us, the small audience that had been watching. "Any volunteers, ladies?"

I sink in my chair, hoping to go unnoticed. It doesn't help that Ty chose the front row to sit in. Ty nudges me and grins tauntingly. "Don't even," I mutter to him beneath my breath, already knowing where his thoughts are at.

"Just pick my girlfriend, Summer Rawlins," Chase tells the director. "It will be easier that way."

My heart drops at his reference to 'girlfriend'. I guess he made things between them official.

"I'll do it," Summer agrees, standing up all too eagerly.

Duke feigns sorrow as he glances my way. "There goes your shot, girl. You had that one in the bag," he teases.

Sandy beckons Summer forward but the director stops Summer from crossing over to where her boyfriend is currently standing. "Hold up." The director inspects Summer from head to toe. "Are you even a surfer?"

Summer shakes her head at his question with a puzzled expression. "No. Not really."

"'Not really' my foot, that girl would be too scared of getting her hair wet," Ty whispers to me, mocking her right out in the open.

"True that." Duke nods, agreeing with Ty for once as they lean over me to fist bump each other before snickering at Summer's expense.

I merely shake my head at them and their childish behavior. I love these two but making fun of people is not cool, even if it is Summer Rawlins.

"This is a photo shoot specifically for local surfers in Half Moon Bay. I can't just put a random person on the front cover of BackWash along with Half Moon Bay's surfing prodigy, Chase Fuller. It would damage Fuller's rep if the media found out that Summer Rawlins has never surfed a single wave in her life. Plus, it would be a lie. Summer Rawlins is no surfer, therefore she cannot feature in a surfing photo shoot for BackWash -- let alone on the front cover alongside our surfing legend. I only want surfers for this shoot," the director explains to Sandy, Chase and Summer.

"Fair enough," Sandy agrees; Summer frowning in disappointment.

Chase, however, is not happy with the situation. "Well, Richard..." Chase calls the director by his first name, his arrogant side on for show, "make a plan. We don't exactly have the opportunity to be picky as of now. Gillies bailed. You should be happy that Summer is even willing to step in for her." Chase comes to his girlfriend's defense. "I sure as hell don't see anyone else volunteering." Chase's eyes scan over the audience, his eyes skipping past me completely as if refusing to even acknowledge my presence.

The director sighs before turning back to us - the small group of supporters - as he begins glancing through all of us individually. "Is there by any chance any female surfers here?" He asks as his gaze finally comes to rest on me.

I grab onto Ty's arm in fear of the spotlight. "Hide me," I whisper softly to Ty, getting more jittery by the second.

Ty does the complete opposite as he stands up from his chair and points to me accusingly. "She's a surfer. She'll do the shoot!"

I don't like Ty anymore.

"Gabriela Hill!" The director - Richard - snaps his fingers in recognition. "This is great! You definitely surf. I know that for a fact."

"Not anymore," I pipe up, choosing to hold my ground. There is absolutely no way I will do a photoshoot with Chase Fuller of all people.

Back in the day, as in three years ago, I was known for my surfing only through association by being the best friend of surfing legend. Today, I am known for my surfing through what happened to Matt. Everyone in town eventually heard the tragic story. Basically, I'm not known for my actual surfing abilities, but rather by the people who are associated in my life.

"Not her," Chase says loudly, taking his chance to blatantly scowl at me as if I'm nothing but the gum beneath his shoe.

"Shut up, Fuller," Sandy shushes Chase. "She could be your only chance or we might have to pull you off the shoot entirely."

"Her it is," Chase suddenly changes his mind as soon as the matter concerns him. He's so selfish!

I shake my head defiantly at Chase and then at the director. "Not a chance in hell. I'm saying no."

Duke gives me a look. I sigh at him. "What?" I huff, frustrated with the pressure. "I don't even surf anymore. I can't even be classified as a surfer."

"Exactly!" Summer chips in. "She's no surfer. She said it herself."

"Once a surfer, always a surfer," Ty defends me before he suddenly forces me up and out of my seat. "Gabs volunteers. She'll do the shoot," Ty says for me to the director, taking matters into his own hands.

I struggle against Ty's hold but he overpowers me as he drags me into the shoot, as in right beside Chase.

I continue to protest, "I don't even have props or my surfboard or--"

"Perfect!" Sandy cuts me off as she sizes me up in comparison to Chase. "She will do just fine with Chase, perhaps even better than Sarah Gillies herself."

"Don't get ahead of yourself, Sandy," Chase mutters, annoyed at how things have to be. It's not like I'm not irritated too.

"We'll take care of the props and we'll even pay you for this. Please," the director pleads with me, desperation pooling in his eyes.

I look away, unable to handle that emotion. I'm a sap for the needy. I let out a soft groan before nodding. "Okay," I hesitantly agree, "I will do it."

"Atta girl." Ty winks at me before returning to his seat, him and Duke both sitting with broad grins on their faces. They're loving this.

A white bikini and white surfboard among other props are thrown my way as I'm pushed into the female changing rooms. "Hurry up and change," is what I'm told before a door is slammed shut in my face.

Talk about overwhelming...

I glance around, only to find that I'm completely alone in the changing rooms. "Alrighty then." I murmur to my self, my voice a soft echo across the large room as I find myself stuck in a predicament that I didn't even volunteer for.











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