Lan Wangji did not sleep. Xiongzhang rented out the entire inn. He assigned their cultivators to a guard rotation. Every precaution had been taken to ensure that no unauthorized person would even have a chance of breaching the temporary safety that this establishment provided them. Wei Ying and Nuan-er were in his arms. They were not missing. They were injured, but Wen Qing had assured him that their injuries were not life threatening. Should anything change, Wen Qing would come and tend to them immediately. Wen Qing was the best doctor Lan Wangji could ever hope to have available to treat his husband and daughter. She was asleep in the room right next to theirs, and would come in moments if called. They were as safe as they could be under the circumstances.

Lan Wangji still did not sleep. After all, hadn't he thought they were safe in Cloud Recesses? Shouldn't they have been safe in Cloud Recesses? If they could be snatched from behind the wards, in the seat of power of one of the great sects, was anywhere truly safe? If Lan Wangji closed his eyes, would they still be in his arms when he opened them again?

Lan Wangji understood that this was not rational. He understood intellectually that he could not stay awake forever. He would need to sleep. Further, there was a good chance that he would wake if anyone did manage to get past the cultivators patrolling around the inn and guarding the room. This knowledge did nothing to quiet the desperate grasping thing inside his chest that compressed his lungs leaving him unable to take a full breath.

Wei Ying shifted in his sleep. Burrowing further under the blankets. Then shuffling back against Lan Wangji. Curling around Nuan-er a few moments later. Turning further into Lan Wangji's arms. Squishing his face so hard against Lan Wangji's chest that Lan Wangji could feel the sharp jut of Wei Ying's chin stabbing against his ribs.

Lan Wangji felt off-kilter, the world slanted just slightly out of position. It felt like Lan Wangji was holding Wei Ying for the first time. Elated and desperate to catalogue every second of Wei Ying asleep. An experience longed for so desperately that Lan Wangji's mind struggled to comprehend the reality of actually having it. But, that was wrong. Lan Wangji had held Wei Ying in his arms so many times. Slept with Wei Ying's beloved weight against his chest. Counted every eyelash that shadowed his cheek as Wei Ying clung to him. Lan Wangji knew the sound of Wei Ying's sleepy whines, and the feel of Wei Ying's loose limbs turning over in his sleep.

Lan Wangji's heart and mind were in a swirling conflicted turmoil. He was the Lan Wangji who'd held Wei Ying when he wanted to die. He was the Lan Wangji who learned early that Wei Ying, and the beautiful warmth he brought with him, had to be held tightly. Wei Ying was a fire that needed to be tended with care, less he went out and left the world darker and colder for his absence. He was the Lan Wangji that kissed Wei Ying gently when none of his words seemed to properly convey how he felt, and found the affection he had been so afraid to demonstrate accepted and returned in kind.

He was the Lan Wangji who pushed Wei Ying away in confusion and frustration. Emotions too loud and confusing to contain or make sense of. Terrified of what those feelings meant, and terrified of what they could do. He was the Lan Wangji who didn't know what to do, so he did was he was supposed to do. He followed the rules and bowed to his duties, because that was supposed to be the right thing to do. They were supposed to keep him safe, and keep him from making a mistake too terrible to take back.

He was the Lan Wangji who didn't understand what was happening to his beloved. Who wanted to protect Wei Ying, but didn't know how. He was the Lan Wangji who had been raised to believe it was deviating from the rules that brought tragedy and heartbreak. Who was too afraid to express the depths of his regard, because he was terrified of the truth pushing Wei Ying further away from him. Paralyzed by the fear that a misspoken word or an action out of line could trap Wei Ying in a prison, like the one Lan Wangji's own mother died in.

He was the Lan Wangji who was afraid, but not quite afraid enough. If he had been afraid enough... If he had properly understood how easily Wei Ying could be lost from the world, not just from Lan Wangji's life. Then maybe he would have been brave enough and desperate enough to finally act outside of the rules. His fear kept him restrained. Tethered to the wall of rules that were supposed to be the answer, and unable to stray far enough from them to breach the distance.

He was the Lan Wangji who had always remained at Wei Ying's side and he was the Lan Wangji who had only gone as far as the rules allowed him to, foolishly believing it would be enough. He was the Lan Wangji who knew how to hold Wei Ying close, and help him say what was wrong when he tried to hide it under misdirection. He was the Lan Wangji who took Wei Ying's dismissals at face value and never found out if under Wei Ying's demands of "Get Lost," Wei Ying had meant "I don't want you to be hurt."

He was the Lan Wangji who had courted Wei Ying. Who had seen the intricate red cut paper that Xiongzhang had ordered from Yangzhou for the wedding. Who had heard Shufu arguing for an exception to the ban on alcohol for guests and the couple during the wedding. A concession Lan Wangji did not believe had ever been made before, and he would not have expected Shufu to be in favor of.

He was the Lan Wangji that Xiongzhang had believed was too in love to be trusted to have sound judgment, and so Xiongzhang did not believe his words. He was the Lan Wangji who failed to protect the innocent, because he was trying to do so within the boundaries of the rules. He was the Lan Wangji who stood against his Elders to protect Wei Ying, but who did so far too late. He was the Lan Wangji who took thirty three lashes from the discipline whip as punishment for treason. He believed the punishment was worth it to save Wei Ying's life. Only to learn three months later that Wei Ying died anyway, that members of his own sect had been among the forces who marched on Wei Ying and the innocents he protected.

The disparities left Lan Wangji disoriented. He was two versions of himself at once. The one who had made so many mistakes and learned from them only when it was too late. The one who had learned of the consequences as a story, a prediction that frightened him, but was removed from him. Lan Wangji had changed because of learning about what could be lost. Wei Ying changed him, and Lan Wangji changed himself. The person he had grown to become had never existed in the future where he had failed. These two versions of him separated when time turned backwards on itself. Now he was both of them at once. Stumbling through a world where everything around him felt both real and false.

Lan Wangji took measured breaths, trying to maintain a steady rhythm for Wei Ying to relax against. His love for Wei Ying had not changed. It united the disparate versions of himself. Both committed to supporting Wei Ying in whatever way they could, even if one part of him wavered anxiously about whether Wei Ying wanted him at his side.

Wei Ying's face pinched in discomfort as he shuffled around on the bed. His face scrunched in an expression distinct from the disgruntled pout Wei Ying would have when morning came and the sunlight tried to disturb Wei Ying's rest. His movements continued every few breaths. Back and forth in small sharp jerks that did not match the languid sleep soft movements Lan Wangji remembered from the life where he had held Wei Ying in his arms while they slept night after night.

Hazy silver eyes blink open, blurry silver slits that hovered around Lan Wangji's face without quite focusing on it

"Lan Zhan," Wei Ying seemed to be muttering the name more to himself than to Lan Wangji.

"I am here, Wei Ying." Lan Wangji said softly as he cradled one delicate cheek in his hand. Wei Ying's breath hitched quietly at the gentle touch. He swallowed wetly before jutting out his lip dramatically.

"Lan Zhan~, I'm cold." Wei Ying said, pouting like a sulking child.

Wei Ying hated the cold. He complained about it often. In the cold springs at Cloud Recesses. Whenever he was the first to climb into bed. After a battle where he needed to use large amounts of resentful energy. Wei Ying whined about the cold like it was a joke, in a tone that would be read as exaggerated. Lan Wangji knew Wei Ying well enough to know that his aversion to the cold was genuine, wrapped up as it was in his mischievous whines to shield him from ridicule. Ridicule that would never come from Lan Wangji.

Especially when Lan Wangji knew that Wei Ying's meridians were still healing. That, unlike the war, it was not just a matter of purging the excess resentment that was painful but not necessarily damaging. Whatever the Jin had been doing had resulted in damage to Wei Ying's meridians and core. He was not stable enough that Lan Wangji could transfer spiritual energy to him, even though Lan Wangji ached to do so. He wanted to pour energy into Wei Ying, warm and bright to chase any remaining dregs of resentment from his meridians. It wasn't safe though. Transferring spiritual energy with the current damage was about as likely to help Wei Ying as it was to trigger a qi deviation.

Lan Wangji pulled Wei Ying closer. To try and wrap him in what warmth he could. Wei Ying grimaced with the movement, but burrowed readily into Lan Wangji's chest. Wei Ying said something. A quiet murmuring sound that he could hear the cadence of just enough to know it was words, but not quite enough to distinguish what those words were.

"Mn?" Lan Wangji prompted.

"I'm still cold," Wei Ying moved his head just enough to articulate the words and then immediately buried his face against Lan Wangji's chest once more.

Lan Wangji quietly channelled his spiritual energy into his hands. He could not give Wei Ying spiritual energy directly, but Lan Wangji could use spiritual energy to make himself give off more heat. It was a relatively basic technique. Lan Wangji had learned at a young age to use his spiritual energy in order to regulate his temperature while in the cold springs. Using spiritual energy in order to warm your hands and spread that warmth through your hair was another small trick of convenience that Lan Wangji and many other cultivators employed regularly to dry their hair more quickly.

Lan Wangji could tell when Wei Ying began to feel the increased heat radiating off of Lan Wangji's body. Wei Ying had already been pressed close to him, but there had been a tension in Wei Ying's body. His body was rigid with discomfort. Wei Ying didn't fully relax against Lan Wangji, but he softened. Melting subtly against Lan Wangji like the heat had finally begun to sink into his frozen joints.

"Wei Qing left medicine for you to take." Lan Wangji said quietly as he rubbed Wei Ying's back. Wei Ying whined unhappily.

"I don't wanna." Wei Ying moved his head enough to articulate it clearly before hiding his face once more.

"You are in pain. The medicine will help." Lan Wangji said softly.

"I'm always in pain, what does it matter?" Wei Ying's muttered response was muffled against the fabric of Lan Wangji's robes.

Lan Wangji's breath stuttered in his chest under the spike of guilt that response triggered in him. Wei Ying was accustomed to pain. When had Lan Wangji ever managed to protect him? Lan Wangji took a slow breath and pushed the thought aside. There were times he had failed Wei Ying, but there were also times he had protected him. He would do better. He could not erase the wounds or the months of captivity, but he could give Wei Ying medicine now and protect him going forward.

Lan Wangji lifted Wei Ying carefully. As carefully as he could while continually unwrapping Wei Ying arms from around whatever part of his body Wei Ying had managed to latch onto next. Finally Lan Wangji had managed to have Wei Ying lined up properly so that his back leaned against Lan Wangji's chest. Wei Ying relaxed into the position once there, melting with a soft sigh against the heat radiating all around him from Lan Wangji.

Lan Wangji retrieved the bowl and brought it up for Wei Ying to drink. Wei Ying immediately turned his face away from the bowl.

"Don't wanna." Wei Ying grumbled.

"It will ease the pain and help you heal." Lan Wangji attempted to encourage him.

"No it won't." Wei Ying bit out in a tight voice. "It'll be gross and unpleasant. Then I'll wake up, and I'll still hurt and Nuan-er will still be in danger and you won't be there."

Wei Ying's words struck Lan Wangji sharply. Lan Wangji wasn't there. He wasn't there and Wei Ying was suffering. He wasn't there. For over two months Wei Ying had been hurting and alone as he tried to protect their daughter. Lan Wangji wasn't there, again.

Lan Wangji breathed through the crushing pain in his chest. Guilt constricting around his lungs until he couldn't take a full breath. The same way the pain of his bleeding back had seemed to steal his breath on every inhale. He had to breathe carefully, shallowly, even the slightest twitch igniting his body in pain.

Lan Wangji closed his eyes and swallowed back the memory. He was here now. He was in this changed world, where Wei Ying was alive. It was so easy to become lost in the guilt and grief of how he had failed. If Lan Wangji was so easily disoriented, it was hardly a surprise that Wei Ying, exhausted and injured, still believed himself imprisoned with the Jin.

"Wei Ying," Lan Wangji whispered the name into Wei Ying's hair. "You are safe. Nuan-er is here and I am here. Xiongzhang will return to Koi Tower in the morning, to demand recompense from the LanlingJin sect."

Wei Ying stilled in his arms. Wei Ying tilted his head up just enough that Lan Wangji received a view of his face upside down. Wei Ying's eyes focused more firmly on Lan Wangji, narrowing to silver slits. All the whining and pouting wiped clean from his expression. Lan Wangji was not certain Wei Ying had ever looked at him with such attentive suspicion. Even through the years of war, in which Lan Wangji failed to communicate his concerns in any way that did not sound like chastisement, Wei Ying had still never searched his face quite this diligently.

"Recompense..." Wei Ying said, still watching Lan Wangji as though he were a complex array to dismantle.

"The LanlingJin sect kidnapped, imprisoned, and tortured two members of the GusuLan sect, one of which is a young child." Lan Wangji stated gravely.

"I haven't married into the GusuLan sect yet." Wei Ying pointed out quietly. Lan Wangji's arms tightened around Wei Ying.

"Irrelevant."

A bright bark of laughter erupted from Wei Ying. Lan Wangji was momentarily caught off guard by the warm shock of Wei Ying's laughter. Nuan-er was less appreciative of the jostling and grumbled loudly in her sleep. Wei Ying got himself back under control, and Nuan-er settled herself after rolling from one side to the other.

"I can never get your humour right. I try telling people that you're funny, and they look at me like I've lost my mind. I try to give them examples, but it's never as good." Wei Ying took several deep breaths before tilting his head back once more to look up at Lan Wangji. There was still a trace of humour in Wei Ying's face, but even as he watched Lan Wangji could see it withdrawing. Wei Ying's eyes looked anguished, knife edged hope cutting him from the inside and leaving his eyes glistening. "It's you? Not... not just in my head? Not a trick to try and get me to tell them more? They haven't tried that specifically yet, but they put weird shit in my food and sometimes it's hard to tell what's really happening and what isn't."

"It is me. Wei Ying, you escaped." Lan Wangji rested his lips against Wei Ying's forehead. Too stationary to be called a kiss, but Lan Wangji pressed his lips softly against Wei Ying's skin while inhaling Wei Ying's warm scent.

"Lan Zhan?!" Wei Ying sounded distressed. He began flailing around in Lan Wangji's arms. Lan Wangji opened his eyes, attempting to see what was wrong. Wei Ying sat up in Lan Wangji's lap looking at him with wide concerned eyes. "Lan Zhan! What's wrong?! Why are you crying?!" Wei Ying's hands fluttered around as though checking for an injury.

Ridiculous. Wei Ying was the one who was injured. Moving around like this was the last thing his healing body needed. Wei Ying's hands came up to cradle Lan Wangji's cheeks, thumbs wiping frantically. Lan Wangji lifted a hand to his own cheek, surprised when his fingers found the damp trails of tears. Oh.

"Lan Zhan," Wei Ying was interrupted before continuing. Nuan-er, half asleep and looking extremely grumpy about it, smacked one little hand against Wei Ying as though to hold him in place.

"No wiggles." She grumbled, glaring blurrily at them.

"Ah. Baobao, sorry we woke you. You can go back to sleep now." Wei Ying said, smoothing her hair gently.

Nuan-er narrowed her eyes further to stare at him irritably. With the angry pout firmly in place on her face, Nuan-er crawled over them to the far side of the bed. Far from being cuddled in their laps or Wei Ying's arms. It seemed Nuan-er did not trust Wei Ying to remain still. Nuan-er curled up on the bed with her back just barely brushing Lan Wangji's hip. She firmly pulled the blanket over her head without another word.

"We really made it?" Wei Ying whispered into the air between them. Lan Wangji wasn't certain Wei Ying was actually speaking to him. It seemed more like he was asking himself.

"Mn." Lan Wangji affirmed quietly. Beautiful, clever, brilliant Wei Ying had freed himself before Lan Wangji could even find him. It had been the same during the war. Wei Ying escaped the Burial Mounds on his own, before Lan Wangji was able to find him. Lan Wangji could never regret Wei Ying's escape, but the fact Wei Ying had needed to do it on his own stung. The shame of Lan Wangji's failure was bitter on his tongue.

"You came for me?" Wei Ying asked quietly. The tone of wonder in Wei Ying's voice didn't feel appropriate.

"I was late."

Wei Ying looked up at him, his expression soft. Lan Wangji did not deserve it. For all the times he had failed Wei Ying. For all the times Wei Ying had been forced to struggle alone. Yet, Wei Ying still looked at Lan Wangji like he was a miracle. Wei Ying cupped his cheeks gently and wiped away Lan Wangji's tears with a gentle sweep of his thumbs.

"You're here. You found Nuan-er. I was so afraid for her. I had to send her out alone, and I was so worried they'd find her and hurt her. Lan Zhan," Wei Ying gasped a breath between the tears that had tightened his voice. "I missed you so much." Wei Ying was smiling through his tears, and Lan Wangji held him tighter.

"Missed you... So much." Lan Wangji repeated in a hoarse whisper.

Wei Ying surged forward and kissed him. The kiss was everything. It was air and breath, when Lan Wangji had been trapped underwater for months. Here with Wei Ying pressing fervent kisses to his lips, was everything Lan Wangji needed to live.

There was so much still to talk about. Lan Wangji had not told Wei Ying that he remembered. Wasn't sure how to begin to tell Wei Ying, but Lan Wangji knew he needed to. He was not certain if now was the time. They needed to confront the Jin, and there was the complicating factor of Jiang Wanyin.

The man was at least seriously injured, and Lan Wangji was not certain what retribution the Jiang might seek against Wei Ying for that. Wei Ying's relationship with Jiang Wanyin was fraught. Wei Ying loved Jiang Wanyin, but Jiang Wanyin had hurt him repeatedly. Lan Wangji was not certain if Jiang Wanyin loved Wei Ying. Jiang Yanli seemed to think so. As did Wei Ying, at least at times. Loving someone did not mean you couldn't hurt them.

Begrudgingly, Lan Wangji understood that a bit better with the memories of his other life returned. Xiongzhang and Shufu loved him, so they followed him to bring him home when he helped Wei Ying escape Nightless City. They likely thought that pursuing him and separating him from Wei Ying was the best course of action. That doing so was how they could protect Lan Wangji. They did not listen to Lan Wangji, nor did they respect him.

Could it be called love when Lan Wangji's own feelings were not given value? Could it be called love when his own choices were not respected? A philosophical question that Lan Wangji did not have an answer for. They cared for him, he knew that much. When Lan Wangji fought the elders, it was treason. In another sect treason would be punished with execution. In the GusuLan sect, treason was punished with exile. Lan Wangji had expected to be banished from the sect and removed from the Lan clan. The thirty three strikes with the discipline whip were a compromise, likely born from Shufu or Xiongzhang's desperation to not lose Lan Wangji.

It did not feel like love to have his words dismissed and his judgment ridiculed. Jiang Wanyin was perhaps the same. There was, perhaps, some type of familial affection under the violence and disregard. That did not excuse Jiang Wanyin's behaviour anymore than it excused Xiongzhang's or Shufu's. Though, admittedly, Lan Wangji had never cared for Jiang Wanyin and was less motivated to offer him forgiveness.

Wei Ying had been trying to repair that relationship, but Lan Wangji understood that it had remained tense and fragile. Lan Wangji did not know how Wei Ying and Jiang Wanyin came to be engaged in combat, and he was beginning to wonder if Wei Ying would be able to answer that question. When they first reunited on Mount Baifeng, Wei Ying had believed he had killed Jiang Wanyin. Yet, Wei Ying had not said anything about Jiang Wanyin since waking up. It was possible Wei Ying was trying to not think about it. Focusing on everything else, when so much had happened to him. It was equally possible he didn't remember what happened on Baifeng Mountain at all.

There were costs associated with using resentful energy. For most people those costs were qi deviation, madness, and death... For Wei Ying the costs were different. No one had ever cultivated resentful energy the way Wei Ying had. No one had cultivated it without being corrupted by it. Of course, Wei Ying was not just anyone. Wei Ying was impossibly brilliant.

Lan Wangji could not name the last time a new talisman had been created. Improvements on existing talisman's happened maybe once in a generation. Wei Ying's creativity and brilliance was the sort that would be written into legend. He had the capacity to revolutionize the cultivation world, even without his work with resentful energy. When put into perspective, it wasn't so surprising that Wei Ying might achieve with resentful energy what no one had ever done before. After all, it was hardly the first impossible feat he had achieved.

That said, every cultivation method had limitations. Drawbacks. Costs... The costs of Wei Ying's use of resentful energy was mostly in the form of pain. Using resentful energy was not comfortable. It left Wei Ying cold, aching, and exhausted. The strength to cope with the intense emotions resentful energy evoked took every bit as much effort as cultivating a golden core. During the fiercest battles, when Wei Ying wielded large amounts of resentful energy, Wei Ying's ability to remember what transpired could be impacted. Wei Ying had not been certain, given that he often disparaged his poor memory.

Yet, the larger the amount of resentful energy Wei Ying used, the fuzzier he seemed to be on the details of what happened. More than once Wei Ying had anxiously asked Lan Wangji to tell him what exactly he had done. This mostly happened when the Yin Hufu was involved. But, Wei Ying had been filled with so much resentful energy when they found him. Whatever they had done to him had Wei Ying suffering damage to his meridians and core in a way that had never happened in the time Lan Wangji had been actively involved in Wei Ying's health.

If Wei Ying was unable to recall what happened... If Jiang Wanyin was dead, not just wounded... There was a very real chance that Wei Ying might be charged with fratricide, and the Jin would use that to escape punishment for their wrong doings. Lan Wangji held Wei Ying tighter. They would have to talk about it in the morning. They would have to decide whether Wei Ying and Nuan-er should travel to Koi Tower as witnesses, or if they should return to the Cloud Recesses where they could be protected if the sects turned on Wei Ying.

Lan Wangji pulled back with a soft peck on Wei Ying's lips. He pressed their foreheads together, relishing in the knowledge that his forehead ribbon was pressed against Wei Ying's skin. They stayed like that for a while. Breathing the same air as they held one another.

"Wei Qing left medicine. Will you take it?" Lan Wangji inquired softly. Wei Ying sighed.

"Lan Zhan, this really isn't anything to fuss about." Wei Ying replied, brushing off Lan Wangji's concern. It stung.

"Wei Ying. You have been stabbed, bitten by fierce corpses, and have enough damage to your meridians and core that I was told not to channel spiritual energy into you without Wei Qing's supervision." It hurt to have his concerns so casually dismissed. Even if Wei Ying's intention was to ease Lan Wangji's concerns.

"Qing-jie is just being overly cautious." Wei Ying insisted.

"Wei Ying. Your core was damaged. There was resentful energy circulating in your meridians. Spiritual energy had to be channelled with extreme precision or risk triggering a life threatening qi deviation. I know that you have survived circumstances believed to be unsurvivable, but it hurts me when you act so callously towards your own well being. I want to take care of you, no matter how inadequate I may be to the task." Lan Wangji whispered painfully into space between them.

It ached uncomfortably to speak it out loud. It felt like he was forcing his care onto Wei Ying where it was not wanted. If that were true, was it even care at all? Was this not like his earlier quandary about love given without trust or respect? If Wei Ying did not want his help, should Lan Wangji be forcing it on him? How was he to know if this was unwanted, or if Wei Ying felt it was undeserved?

Lan Wangji was pulled from his thoughts by warm lips pressed against his own. His mind quieted under the onslaught of Wei Ying's persistent mouth, and slowly his shoulders began to untense.

"Lan Zhan?" Wei Ying inquired softly as he drew back.

"Mn." Lan Wangji was not certain what Wei Ying was asking, but there was definitely a question in the way he said his name.

"There you are." Wei Ying said, a soft smile gently lighting his face. "I'm sorry I brushed you off, Lan Zhan. It's a habit, I think. Trying not to inconvenience others too much. Not be more of a burden than I have to be." Wei Ying trailed off quietly.

"Wei Ying, you are not an inconvenience." Lan Wangji said firmly. "I do not wish to smother you or control..."

"Lan Zhan!" Wei Ying interrupted. "You didn't hear this part, wherever your brain took you before I started kissing you again... I didn't mean to make your concerns feel unwelcome. I like having you fuss over me. I'm not good at taking care of myself, or asking for help, and I am trying to get better at it... but well. The last months have been... bad. And I know it was probably bad for you too. And I forgot, I think, that you always seems to want to take care of me. Because no one's ever really... I mean, Shijie liked to, but she got in trouble for it too... And Qing-jie kind of bullied me to accept whatever she could give, but we were all struggling and there wasn't a lot she could... Anyway, I just mean... I don't actually know where I was going with this, but I love you, and I love that you worry about me and want to take care of me. And please don't ever stop doing that because I love it, and I love you, and..."

Lan Wangji kissed him. As much as he treasured the chaotic declaration, he had already heard what he needed to hear most, and Wei Ying seemed to be working himself into a spiral. Lan Wangji continued to kiss him until Wei Ying went limp in his arms. When Lan Wangji drew back, Wei Ying tried to chase his mouth to continue. Lan Wangji kissed Wei Ying's forehead to distract him.

"Lan Zhan~," Wei Ying whined quietly.

"Medicine first, Wei Ying. With food, if you can manage it." Lan Wangji said, rubbing circles into Wei Ying's back gently.

"Fine, yah." Wei Ying said with a long, put upon, sigh. The medicine and a few mantou were within reach without leaving the bed, but if Wei Ying was willing...

"Xiongzhang left food for us on the table." Lan Wangji said quietly.

"Ugh, are you saying I have to leave this warm cozy bed?" Wei Ying complained. Lan Wangji smiled reflexively.

"Wei Ying does not need to move. I can retrieve it." Lan Wangji stated, gently stroking Wei Ying's hair.

"Oh, so I have to give up cuddling you? How is that better?" Wei Ying grumbled. Lan Wangji gently kissed Wei Ying's forehead.

"I will be right back." Lan Wangji whispered quietly.

Wei Ying grumbled petulantly, but allowed Lan Wangji to get up. Lan Wangji filled a tray from the dishes that had been set aside for them. He took small servings of each, fully expecting Wei Ying might not be able to finish it all. If he was wrong he could always refill the tray, but Wei Qing had noted the concerning drop in weight from when she had last seen Wei Ying. He had likely been starved. Either not provided sufficient food or, in light of recent disclosures, Wei Ying had limited what he consumed to the bare minimum due to the food being drugged.

Lan Wangji returned with a full tray, which he balanced carefully in one hand while allowing Wei Ying to tug him back down onto the bed. Only once Wei Ying was back in his lap did he seem to even take in what was on the tray. Wei Ying squawked before turning to look at Lan Wangji.

"How do you expect me to eat all this? I was expecting a couple of mantou or a bowl of soup. Not... all of this." Wei Ying gestured at the tray in question.

"There is soup." Lan Wangji pointed out. Corn soup with chicken, as well as millet congee with pickled vegetables and fermented tofu on the side. There was also steamed egg, wood ear mushroom salad, fried cabbage, and pork dumplings. The aforementioned mantou were also present, but Lan Wangji was hoping Wei Ying would at least eat a bit of some of the other dishes as well.

"Yes, there is soup. That is technically a true statement, but it side steps the point I was making entirely." Wei Ying muttered.

"Eat what you can. There will be more food if you are hungry later." Lan Wangji said, pulling the corn soup a bit closer to try and encourage Wei Ying to start eating.

"Hmmm, I think Gege should feed me. I'm much too tired to eat all this myself." Wei Ying said with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

Lan Wangji took the chopsticks from the tray and lifted a dumpling to Wei Ying's mouth without further prompting. Wei Ying made a surprised squeak, muffled somewhat by the dumpling in his mouth.

"Lan Zhan, I was just kidding. You don't really have to..." Wei Ying's words were cut off when Lan Wangji pressed another dumpling to his mouth.

It was not the best angle for feeding someone. Lan Wangji couldn't quite see Wei Ying's mouth at this angle. Lan Wangji was not going to stop unless Wei Ying insisted on it. Wei Ying was terrible at asking for things. When he did ask for something, it always sounded like a joke.

Lan Wangji remembered Wei Ying asking him to visit him in Lotus Pier, before everything happened. He had immediately gone on about introducing him to all the pretty girls and Lan Wangji had fumed. At the time he told himself he was angry because Wei Ying was mocking him. Later he realized that, while he had been worried he was being mocked, he had mostly hated hearing Wei Ying talk about girls.

"You shouldn't take me so seriously. I talk a lot of nonsense. You'll spoil me rotten if you give me every little thing I joke about wanting." Wei Ying mumbled quietly between mouth fulls. They had finished the steamed egg and were halfway through the corn soup. Lan Wangji set the soup down and retrieved the fried cabbage.

"Wei Ying, I will spoil you at every possible opportunity." Lan Wangji didn't have a good angle to see Wei Ying's face. So he couldn't be certain if Wei Ying was blushing.

"You! Who taught you to say such shameless things?" Wei Ying demanded, kicking his feet in small flustered movements beneath the blanket.

"I wonder." Lan Wangji said softly under his breath.

He let Wei Ying whine for a few moments more before feeding him some of the fried cabbage. From there Wei Ying became distracted by the food, insisting Lan Wangji try some of the cabbage as well. It was deceptively spicy and Lan Wangji accepted a few spoonfuls of millet congee to help with the burn. Lan Wangji did agree the cabbage was very good. While spicier than what Lan Wangji usually ate, it was far more moderate compared to the Hunan cuisine Wei Ying so loved. Lan Wangji thought he could even enjoy it as part of a meal, perhaps with chrysanthemum tea to help balance the heat.

Wei Ying finished all of the cabbage, but professed to being too full to finish the rest of the tray. There was still half a bowl of soup, most of the congee, the mantou, and a bit of the wood ear mushroom salad left. Wei Ying had already been slowing down quite a bit when they were working on the soup, so Lan Wangji was honestly surprised Wei Ying had finished the cabbage without much prompting. Lan Wangji would have to ask for the recipe before they returned to Gusu.

"Bleh... so bitter." Wei Ying said after swallowing down the medicine Wei Qing had left for him.

Lan Wangji handed him the ginger tea afterwards. Which Wei Ying drank with much more appreciation. Lan Wangji arranged everything on the tray and carefully set it aside. Leaving the dirty dishes sitting out made Lan Wangji's fingers itch, but he resisted the urge to carry the tray downstairs. He didn't wish to leave Wei Ying alone that long. He didn't even wish to disturb Wei Ying long enough to set the tray outside the door.

"This medicine is going to knock me out isn't it." Wei Ying said, already starting to adjust to a more comfortable position to sleep.

"Mn. Wei Qing indicated you would probably sleep through the rest of the night." Lan Wangji said quietly.

"Mn. That'd be nice. Maybe even worth it, even if it tastes like tree bark and dirt." Wei Ying grumbled quietly. "Lay down with me?" Wei Ying asked softly. Lan Wangji's heart warmed. He loved it when Wei Ying asked for what he wanted.

"Mn." Lan Wangji moved carefully to try and not disturb Nuan-er more than they already had. Eventually he was laying down with Wei Ying laying on top of him and Nuan-er curled up beside him. It was almost perfect. Lan Wangji couldn't wait until they were all back in Cloud Recesses. Then he could have his entire family together again.

Notes: I cannot tell you how much research I have done for this fic that has ended up not being relevant at all. So here, have recipes for the dishes mentioned in this chapter. I have not made these specific recipes myself, but have made other recipes from both of the blogs below and had fantastic results. Highly recommend them both.

https://omnivorescookbook.com/chinese-steamed-eggs/

https://omnivorescookbook.com/wood-ear-mushroom-salad

https://omnivorescookbook.com/pork-dumplings/

https://omnivorescookbook.com/fried-cabbage/

https://omnivorescookbook.com/chinese-corn-soup/

https://omnivorescookbook.com/millet-porridge

https://thewoksoflife.com/purpose-chinese-bun-dough-man-tou/