A jostling sensation roused Nuan-er from her sleep. Her ears hurt, and her head hurt. The medicine had helped a little, but mostly the medicine had made her really sleepy. Being asleep was better. She didn't have to feel the hurting. Nuan-er felt someone lifting her up and she forced herself to open her eyes. She just needed to check. Make sure it was someone she knew.

No one had tried to hurt Nuan-er in Cloud Recesses. Supposedly all the adults here should be safe, but Nuan-er was still hesitant to accept that fully. There were a lot of people in the world. People who would hurt and kill other people for no reason. People who would hurt and kill other people just because they could.

She recognized her Baba easily, although his expression seemed unhappy. Her Baba had been very worried about her, and he had stayed up with her last night when she hurt too much to go to sleep. Now his brows were furrowed and his nose slightly wrinkled. It wasn't the way her Baba looked when he was angry. Nuan-er had seen her Baba angry. She had seen her Baba draped in cold smoke and crimson lightning while he commanded the dead to slaughter those who had hurt Nuan-er and her family.

This wasn't how Baba's face looked angry. Baba didn't wrinkle his nose like that when he was angry. Yet, the expression looked like an angry expression that might belong to someone else. Nuan-er tugged on his robes to draw his attention. There was half a second where Nuan-er thought the expression that looked kind of like anger sharpened.

Then Baba smiled at her. She had expected her Baba to smile when she drew his attention. Or possibly he would look at her with concern, but even then he would usually offer her a wobbly smile. A smile that said he understood she was hurting, but he believed things would get better. This smile was weird. It was a smile, but it felt sharp.

"Xian-gege... it hurts." she forced herself to say. It was weird, the way her own words were muffled in her ears. Her Baba patted her back and she heard something like murmuring beyond the ringing in her ears. It was enough to know her Baba was saying something. His lips were moving, but she could only kind of hear the words.

"... ... back... ... sleep... ... ... go... ... trip..." Her Baba's voice is hard to hear over the ringing that has been getting worse and worse over the last few days.

Her Baba told her yesterday that she should have told him right away when she wasn't feeling well. Nuan-er had thought it would go away. There had been an uncomfortable feeling in her ear, but she thought it would go away on its own. It had happened before. It had been really uncomfortable, but after a while it went away. Nuan-er didn't want to be a burden, especially not when the problem would go away on its own.

Then Nuan-er woke up and both of her ears were hurting. It was uncomfortable, but Nuan-er had been uncomfortable before. She'd had her life uprooted and her world ripped apart, and she'd learned to manage. She would keep herself together enough for her didi.

Over time, Nuan-er learned to not be demanding. She would try to be helpful and not take attention away from her didi and the other kids who were sharing caretakers with them. The fact that both of her ears were hurting meant that this time was worse than the last, but she'd just have to be patient. If it was worse this time, it would probably take longer to go away.

The ringing in her ears made it harder to hear the teacher in class. It made it harder. The teacher thought she was having trouble paying attention. Baba had asked her whether or not it was true. Whether Nuan-er was having trouble paying attention for some reason. He'd asked if she was thinking about something else, or if she was having trouble being still. Nuan-er didn't have problems being still. Nuan-er could stay still for hours if she needed to keep someone from finding her.

She'd mumbled that she was having trouble hearing the teacher. She didn't tell him that the ringing in her ears made it like she was trying to listen to someone speaking over the noise of a wind storm. She didn't mention that her ears hurt, and it was a struggle to not poke at them or rub them to try and relieve the painful pressure.

Baba had arranged for her to sit near the front the next day. Two days later Nuan-er was struggling to eat. The pain was so bad she had not been able to sleep the night before. Halfway through lunch Baba realized she had developed a fever. Nuan-er had been miserable, and once her Baba knew she was miserable there seemed to be no point pretending otherwise.

The medicine is still making her sleepy, and it dulls the pain enough to make sleep possible. Being mostly upright in her Baba's arms feels better than laying down on her bed. She fell back to sleep while he pats her back.

Nuan-er drifts in and out with no sense of the passage of time in between. There is the bright light of the sun on her face and the chill of the wind when they step outside. She hid her face from the light, desperate to sleep. So tired. So uncomfortable.

The world jerks, jarring Nuan-er awake again. Her Baba uses a curse she has never heard him use before. He stomps across the ground to pick up Suibian. The stomping reminded Nuan-er of one of her cousins. The way he would stomp angrily whenever Popo would tell him 'no'. Nuan-er didn't remember seeing her Baba stomp like that before.

Subian hovers in the air as her Baba steps onto it carefully. Why would Baba take her flying right now? She won't say no to flying, but she doesn't feel very good. She's not sure she'll be able to enjoy flying right now.

Baba steps onto Suibian and they begin to fly. It isn't how Baba normally flies. Normally Baba would ask if she is ready, then take off really fast. Baba stays low to the ground this time. He picks up speed slowly before the ride becomes bumpy. Nuan-er frowned. Flying had never felt bumpy before. Was Baba not feeling well too?

Baba cursed again before jumping down from Suibian to land on the ground. Suibian fell to the ground once more. Nuan-er held back a wince. She didn't like the sudden jostling. Baba said a bunch more curses. Nuan-er didn't actually know all of the words he said, but the way he said them sounded like cursing. Baba grabbed Suibian and slashed at the trunk of a tree. After a few gashes, he fell the tree. Nuan-er felt the ground shake as the tree crashed to the ground.

Baba sheathed Suibian. Baba jostled her a bit as he took out talisman paper. It felt like Nuan-er blinked and suddenly the talisman became a glowing gold butterfly. It was like the butterfly talisman her Baba taught her, but there was only one butterfly. Nuan-er wondered if her Baba had done it wrong. Then the butterfly began flying away, much further than Nuan-er had ever seen a conjured butterfly go.

Baba started walking. The rhythmic swaying of the steps combined with the medicine made her feel even sleepier. Her hands tightened their grip. One fisted in her Baba's robes, the other holding tight to her stuffed tiger. Nuan-er slipped back to sleep, hoping Baba would feel better soon. He didn't seem to be acting right. She hoped she didn't make him sick too.

The next time Nuan-er awoke, things were hazier. She thought her medicine had probably worn off. Her ears were hurting even more than before. She was laying down in... a cart? Nuan-er held her stuffed tiger tight as she rolled onto her side before pushing herself up. She felt weak and tired. She wanted Baba. Where was Baba? Why weren't they at home?

Baba was standing outside next to the cart. He was talking with a man dressed in gold. Baba didn't look especially happy. He smiled at the man, but the smile was sharp and threatening. Nuan-er frowned. Did Baba not like this person?

"Xian-gege?" Nuan-er called. Baba didn't look up right away. Nuan-er frowned. Baba was still acting weird and Nuan-er didn't like it.

"Xian-gege!?" Nuan-er thought she had spoken normally before, but she didn't really hear herself. Maybe she had been speaking too quietly? Nuan-er talked so that it felt like she was shouting.

"A-Nuan... ... ... ... doctor..." Her Baba was talking to her, but she was having a lot of trouble hearing him. Her ears were ringing and they hurt so bad. A third man stepped forward holding acupuncture needles. Oh. So he was a doctor then. Was this why they had to leave home? Did she need a special doctor? Nuan-er wasn't sure that made sense, but as long as they could help her feel better.

The doctor was talking to her. The gestures made it seem like he was explaining what he was going to do, but he was talking so quietly that Nuan-er couldn't make out what he was saying. She nodded anyway. He was a doctor. Her aunties and uncles were doctors. Doctors gave you medicine and treated you with acupuncture so you would feel better. The doctor took out his acupuncture needles.

Nuan-er laid down like she would for Qing-jie. She hadn't had acupuncture very often, but Qing-jie had used it the other day after examining her. It hadn't hurt. The way Baba always cried about it Nuan-er had been kind of nervous, but it was such a tiny poke Nuan-er had barely felt anything at all. There was a small poke as the doctor placed the needle, and everything went dark.

Note: I promise Nuan-er will not die in this story regardless of how dangerous of a situation she may find herself.