"Make it stop. Please make it stop. It hurts." Wei Wuxian was crying quietly in Lan Wangji's arms. It pained Lan Wangji to see Wei Wuxian's tears. To hear him in pain, begging for help. Help that Lan Wangji could not provide. Wei Wuxian had been struggling to regain consciousness for hours. His eyes would half open vaguely, only to quickly close again. A few times he seemed to recognize Lan Wangji, but sometimes he seemed to see something else.

"It's so cold..." Wei Wuxian mumbled between his tears. Lan Wangji made the decision to remove the needles. With them out of the way he pulled Wei Wuxian more completely into his arms. He channelled spiritual energy into his fingertips and let it transfer gently to Wei Wuxian as he stroked his back gently.

"L-Lan Zhan?" Wei Wuxian's voice came like a whisper against Lan Wangji's neck. Lan Wangji adjusted slightly so he could see the unfocused half open eyes.

"Mn. I'm here." Lan Wangji said gently.

"Where... Where is here?" Wei Wuxian asked desperately.

"Gusu. Jingshi." Lan Wangji replied gently.

"Lan Zhan... Why can't I think right? My brain is fuzzy." Wei Wuxian whined, his voice mixed with quiet distress.

"Sleeping medicine. Wearing off." Lan Wangji replied, continuing to stroke Wei Wuxian's back.

"I was... Burial Mounds..." Wei Wuxian shivered. Lan Wangji could feel the fear radiating from Wei Wuxian. "Before... I was... Lotus Pier?" Wei Wuxian seemed to be desperately trying to organize his thoughts. Lan Wangji suspected these may have been the places he was dreaming of. Lan Wangji could not imagine how terrible it must have been. The way Wei Wuxian was screaming and begging had been horrible. Just seeing him crying out like that had been a nightmare.

"The surgery... My core..." Wei Wuxian suddenly sat up. His hand moved over his dantian as he began to panic. "Why do I have my core?" Wei Wuxian looked at Lan Wangji as if seeking an answer. In the meantime that very question had hit Lan Wangji with previously unknown horror.

'Wei Ying. You lost your golden core?'

"Wen Qing... Wen Qing was performing the surgery. She promised." Wei Wuxian said frantically. "She has to take it out! Jiang Cheng needs a golden core. She promised. She has to give him my core." Wei Wuxian was becoming increasingly desperate and erratic. Tears of distress were flowing freely down his face while Lan Wangji found himself unable to respond to Wei Wuxian's confused pleas.

"She has to take it out! Why do I have it? I promised! I promised to protect him with my life! She has to give it to him!" Wei Wuxian began to struggle in Lan Wangji's arms. His cries turned more desperate and demanding as he struggled to escape in his groggy and unfocused state of mind. Lan Wangji's arms tightened reflexively, not allowing Wei Wuxian to flee. It was too recent in Lan Wangji's mind that Wei Wuxian had nearly done serious harm to himself while trapped in his nightmare. Wei Wuxian was only half awake now and still confused. Lan Wangji's mind was spinning, but his arms kept Wei Wuxian exactly where he was.

'He lost more than anyone ever realized.' That was what Wen Qing had said. Wei Wuxian lost. Wei Wuxian lost his golden core. Lan Wangji felt like everything around him had stopped. Wei Wuxian had willingly given his golden core to someone else. It was unthinkable, and yet it made perfect sense. It made perfect sense for Wei Wuxian to give what no one would ever give away. Wei Wuxian had sacrificed again and again. This was why he had to learn demonic cultivation. Without a golden core there was no way to cultivate.

'He never allowed anyone to learn that he couldn't cultivate the way others did anymore. Most of what I know I witnessed myself.' Wen Qing knew, because she was the one who removed it and gave it to Jiang Wanyin. It was no wonder Wen Qing held such resentment for Jiang Wanyin. Taking Jiang Wanyin's behaviour with the fact that Wen Qing knew what Wei Wuxian would give for his shidi.

Lan Wangji was not certain he'd ever be able to leave Wei Wuxian alone with Jiang Wanyin ever again. Wei Wuxian was too willing to give far too much. Too much to someone who did not treasure and protect him the way Wei Wuxian deserved. Lan Wangji held Wei Wuxian close, ignoring the struggles that were so weak from physical exhaustion that Lan Wangji could honestly hardly feel them.

"Wei Ying." 'Don't cry my Wei Ying.' Lan Wangji called softly.

"Lan Zhan. Let me go! Jiang Cheng. Jiang Cheng won't survive without a golden core. He can't survive being ordinary. I have to save him... Lan Zhan... I have... I have to..." Wei Wuxian sobbed into Lan Wangji's shoulder.

"Wei Ying. Jiang Wanyin is safe. Golden core is safe." Lan Wangji tried to soothe Wei Wuxian, even though he wasn't entirely certain how much Wei Wuxian understood in his current state. Wei Wuxian began to cry harder.

"His golden core was destroyed! It's my fault! They came because of me! I have to fix it! I have to protect him! I promised!" Wei Wuxian wailed in broken sobs.

"Wei Ying. Do you hear what I said?" Lan Wangji asked as he held Wei Wuxian close.

"I can't... I have to..." Wei Wuxian's sentences were broken by sobs and gasps for air.

"Wei Ying." 'My Wei Ying.' Lan Wangji called softly. He took a steadying breath. Wen Qing had said it to him before. If he wanted Wei Wuxian to be calm, he needed to be calm first.

"Wei Ying. Listen." Lan Wangji said firmly. He forced Wei Wuxian to look at him. Willed Wei Wuxian to hear him.

"Jiang Wanyin is safe. Golden core intact." Lan Wangji clearly articulated each word. Wei Wuxian's tear filled eyes were looking at Lan Wangji with such confusion.

"Wei Ying. Believe me?" Lan Wangji asked. He held Wei Wuxian's chin and searched Wei Wuxian's lightly glazed eyes. Searching for a sign Wei Wuxian had understood what he said.

"I... but..." Wei Wuxian protested. He looked so lost and Lan Wangji understood that he was still heavily under the effects of the medication. He was only partially perceiving the world around him and his mind was hazy. He didn't understand where he was. He didn't understand when he was.

"Wei Ying. Trust me?" Lan Wangji asked. Wei Wuxian nodded. Even though he still looked lost, there was no hesitation in his answer to that question. Lan Wangji felt his heart swell. He did not deserve the ease with which Wei Wuxian trusted him. Lost and confused, with how much Lan Wangji had clearly failed Wei Wuxian in the events of the future.

"I'm here. Will keep you safe." Lan Wangji said slowly while watching Wei Wuxian intently. Those words were a promise. A promise to Wei Wuxian and to himself. Lan Wangji did not deserve Wei Wuxian's trust. Yet.

"Focus on me. I will not leave." 'My Wei Ying. I will earn the trust you have placed in me. I am not worthy of it yet. I am not worthy of you yet. But I will be. I will do everything in my power to stay by you and protect you. I will become someone worthy of your trust.' Lan Wangji vowed silently.

Wei Wuxian was staring at Lan Wangji. His eyes were full of confusion and pain.

"Wei Ying. You are safe here. There is no one you need to rescue. Just let me take care of you. Let me protect you. Just for a little while?" Lan Wangji pleaded softly. Wei Wuxian stopped trying to fight his way out of Lan Wangji's arms. He wrapped his arms around Lan Wangji's neck and cried wordlessly. Lan Wangji held him close and ran his fingers through Wei Wuxian's hair repetitively.

"I'm here. You are safe." Lan Wangji whispered soothingly against Wei Wuxian's hair. For a long time he held Wei Wuxian and whispered those words to him. He spoke so much that his throat ached. Lan Wangji hardly cared about that. If he really did manage to injure his throat he would take medicine. If not, then there was nothing to worry about. In either case, the most important thing was to soothe Wei Wuxian.

Without a doubt this had been the hardest night they had ever had. Lan Wangji didn't understand why this night had become so bad. Things had actually been improving. Wei Wuxian had been opening up to him, at least a little. They were now officially betrothed, and Wei Wuxian would not be leaving the Cloud Recesses early. Lan Xichen completed empathy and believed that Wei Wuxian and Wen Qing had experienced the future. They hadn't had much chance to talk and make plans yet, but they had months until the first major incident. True Lan Xichen and Wen Qing had been injured during empathy, but Wen Qing herself said that they should heal without much issue.

Lan Wangji didn't understand what it was about this night that made Wei Wuxian have such a horrible nightmare. On the other hand perhaps there wasn't a reason. Perhaps it was just the case that some nights would be harder than others. Lan Wangji gently lifted Wei Wuxian in his arms and carried him outside of the Jingshi. Wei Wuxian's breathing was still erratic. Like his body was being shaken by silent sobs, or quiet hiccups.

Lan Wangji sat with Wei Wuxian in the courtyard. After the long night in the Jingshi neither of them were rested. They had only gotten a few hours of real sleep. For Lan Wangji, most of the night had been spent trying to calm Wei Wuxian down. For Wei Wuxian, most of the night had been spent in extreme distress. Wen Qionglin brought breakfast for them, but didn't stay to try and chat.

Wei Wuxian had immediately hidden his face against Lan Wangji the second he heard footsteps approaching them. To most people it might have looked childish or playful. For Wen Qionglin it was different. One look at Wei Wuxian wordlessly hiding himself in the Second Jade's arms was enough to know that Wei Wuxian was not in the mood to socialize with numerous people today. Only Lan Wangji could feel the very slight tremble in Wei Wuxian's body. Once Wen Qionglin left Lan Wangji gently pat Wei Wuxian's back a few times.

"Wei Ying. He left. It's just us." Lan Wangji whispered gently. He rubbed up and down Wei Wuxian's back soothingly. Wei Wuxian pulled back slightly, sitting more upright in Lan Wangji's lap. His gaze was fixed on his own lap. Wei Wuxian was silent for a long while, but Lan Wangji didn't push him. He waited patiently for Wei Wuxian to break the silence on his own.

"I guess I'm pretty pathetic, huh..." Wei Wuxian whispered quietly. Everything inside Lan Wangji responded with a violent rage, rejecting such a notion as absurd. Were it anyone else saying this about Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji would have struck them on the spot. He rubbed Wei Wuxian's back gently. Lan Wangji knew he needed to be patient and cautious in such a situation. Wei Wuxian had long since internalized many hateful words and beliefs about himself. Freeing him of such beliefs was neither something that could be done quickly, nor easily. If Lan Wangji was too fast with refuting the words Wei Wuxian may only feel Lan Wangji had not listened. He needed Wei Wuxian to know that he heard him, but did not agree with the conclusions.

"How?" Lan Wangji asked softly. He let his confusion show in his voice, or as much as he could anyway. Fortunately Wei Wuxian seemed to be rapidly improving in his ability to hear and see Lan Wangji's emotions.

"Screaming and crying all night, and now the second someone walks in I'm hiding." Wei Wuxian said in a dejected tone. Lan Wangji cupped Wei Wuxian's cheek with his hand. He gently guided Wei Wuxian to look at him. He hoped Wei Wuxian could see all the concern and admiration that he felt when he looked at Wei Wuxian.

"Not pathetic. Hurt." Lan Wangji said solemnly as he searched Wei Wuxian's eyes carefully for the responding emotions. Wei Wuxian's gaze shifted down in something akin to doubt or shame.

"Even the thought of moving a few feet away from you fills me with panic. How is that not pathetic?" Wei Wuxian asked as he looked back at Lan Wangji. Lan Wangji gazed into those beautiful dark eyes and gently pulled Wei Wuxian's face towards his. He kissed Wei Wuxian softly. He filled the kiss with all the tenderness and care that was trying to burst out of his chest. At the same time, the kiss was soothing something inside Lan Wangji. It was like an assurance that Wei Wuxian was there. He was there. He hadn't left him. After a long time Lan Wangji pulled back from the kiss but still stared intently into Wei Wuxian's eyes from a few inches away.

"Wei Ying is not allowed to move that far away from me today. I am not strong enough to be so far from you after seeing you in so much pain." Lan Wangji said in a very serious tone.

"I need you here." Lan Wangji said as he tightened the arm that was wrapped around Wei Wuxian. "I need you where I can touch you. Where I can remind myself that you are here. That you have not disappeared. That you are alive, and safe." Lan Wangji whispered quietly as he pulled Wei Wuxian into a very tight embrace. Lan Wangji took a deep shuddering breath, finding a soothing relief in Wei Wuxian's scent.

"I do not wish to see anyone else, or speak with anyone else today. I don't wish to share you. I don't have the energy to listen to the talk of others. I hurt when I see you in pain, and I need you close to me to heal." Lan Wangji continued to whisper against Wei Wuxian's hair. "Is this pathetic?" Lan Wangji asked softly. He felt Wei Wuxian relax in his arms, releasing his tension with a loud exhale.

"Why are you so perfect? How can I possibly ever let you go when you keep saying such sweet things to me?" Wei Wuxian asked quietly. Lan Wangji's arms tightened around Wei Wuxian reflexively.

"Do not let me go." Lan Wangji replied evenly. Wei Wuxian nuzzled Lan Wangji's neck.

"You win..." Wei Wuxian said quietly. Lan Wangji could hear a soft smile in Wei Wuxian's tone.