Lan Wangji had long forgotten how to express his emotions the way other people seemed to. If he had ever known how to do it in the first place. Lan Wangji couldn't remember a time when he had been as expressive as those around him. Perhaps that was why people were often frightened of him? Perhaps it was because they saw him as unfeeling and indifferent. Cold was the word he heard them use. They described him as cold when they spoke about him in hushed voices. Sometimes the gazes would be filled with awe and admiration. Sometimes they were anxious and frightened. Lan Wangji had long since learned to try and ignore them. No matter what they said he never felt good about it.

One person knew better. Lan Xichen was often the only one who could somewhat interpret what was going on in Lan Wangji's head. It was something Lan Xichen had devoted much time and energy to, especially since the death of their mother. After their mother died it did something to Lan Wangji. His already quiet and shy didi became completely withdrawn. Lan Xichen vividly remembered the scolding and punishments Lan Wangji received when he refused to stop kneeling outside their mother's residence. He had sometimes wondered over the years if there was something he could have done to shield his brother more. He wondered if it was their mother's death, or the subsequent scoldings of their uncle that led to Lan Wangji's increased silence.

Lan Xichen had tried to encourage Lan Wangji to speak, make friends, and have fun. Yet he had never had much success. No matter how Lan Xichen tried to encourage him, none of it seemed to interest Lan Wangji anymore. He spent all his time and energy on his cultivation. If he was not training with his sword, then he was practicing his guqin or studying. He only left Cloud Recesses for official business, and allowed no delays when returning. Lan Wangji's feelings seemed to all be hidden deep inside, only peeking out from his amber eyes. The healer likely thought Lan Wangji looked the same as always. However, Lan Xichen had worked hard to read Lan Wangji's minute expressions. Looking at his face now, Lan Xichen saw anxiety and concern the likes of which Lan Xichen had not seen on his face since they were both young.

"Wangji, what has happened?" Lan Xichen asked with deep concern. He held back the urge to place a hand on Lan Wangji's shoulder. His didi had stopped accepting comfort from touch years ago. While Lan Xichen knew Lan Wangji would tolerate it from close family, it wouldn't have the effect that Lan Xichen wanted.

"Wei Ying." Lan Wangji started to speak, but the words seemed to be stuck in his throat. Lan Xichen felt a small stab of panic deep in his guts. Wei Wuxian was the only person who had been able to bring Lan Wangji out of his isolation. Lan Xichen had been overjoyed to see the effect the energetic boy had on his didi. It was not out of the question that something might have happened to Wei Wuxian. He was occasionally a bit reckless from what Lan Xichen could tell. Though the examples that came to mind were usually for the benefit of others.

"Has something happened to Wei-gongzi?" Lan Xichen asked in concern. He hoped it wasn't anything too serious. He would hate to see anything bad happen to someone who was so friendly and good natured. Even more concerning, Lan Wangji had only just started opening up to Wei Wuxian. If something happened to him Lan Xichen was worried it would do irreparable harm to Lan Wangji. Lan Wangji was silent for a while. He was trying to put together what to say and how to say it. Lan Xichen waited patiently for him despite his own anxiety. He needed to let his didi take the time he needed. He knew Lan Wangji was not very talkative at the best of times. Seeing how distressed he was, Lan Xichen knew it could only be making things more difficult for him.

"Wei Ying. Tried to kill himself." Lan Xichen was stunned. His mind went completely blank for a few moments as he tried to comprehend the situation. It seemed to hurt Lan Wangji to say that sentence out loud. Lan Xichen's heart ached for his didi. He resisted the urge to comfort Lan Wangji and immediately his mind began running through his observations of Wei Wuxian. From the moment Wei Wuxian entered Cloud Recesses he had been bright, energetic, and smiling. Even though Wei Wuxian had been in pain from the punishment earlier today, it had seemed to barely dent his cheerful disposition.

"Is he hurt?" Lan Xichen asked. His brain began to shift gears to triage the situation. First priority had to be making sure Wei Wuxian was physically safe. Lan Xichen tried to keep his tone and posture calming. He didn't want to panic Lan Wangji anymore than he already was.

"He wants to die." Lan Wangji said softly, like he couldn't bear to say it at a normal volume. His expression seemed a bit lost. Lan Wangji appeared badly shaken by the situation. It hurt Lan Xichen's heart to see Lan Wangji like this. Lan Xichen took a steadying breath. He tried to calm himself as best he could. If he couldn't keep himself calm, how could Lan Xichen hope to calm Lan Wangji? He restated the question in the hopes it would be easier for Lan Wangji to understand what he meant.

"Is he currently in physical danger?" Lan Xichen asked gently. He kept his tone soft, almost like he was trying to coax Lan Wangji. It is possible no one else would be able to tell, but Lan Xichen knew Lan Wangji was distraught. He tried to keep himself patient as he waited for a reply. Lan Wangji seemed to need to think about the question for much longer than Lan Xichen liked. Finally Lan Wangji shook his head no. Lan Xichen let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. This was the best answer he could hope for to that question. If Wei Wuxian was currently not in physical danger they could begin to turn their attention to addressing his continued safety.

"Do his siblings know what happened?" Lan Xichen asked after a while. He didn't want to overwhelm Lan Wangji, but there would be several things they needed to ensure before they even began to attempt finding out what led to Wei Wuxian's behavior. After a while Lan Wangji shook his head again. Lan Xichen sighed. So Wei Wuxian's family did not know. Did they only not know about the attempt? Did they perhaps not know Wei Wuxian had any thoughts of harming himself or killing himself? If Wei Wuxian had such a history then Lan Xichen at the least should have been informed in advance. He would have requested information about known triggers and made sure to check in with Wei Wuxian regularly on his mood and safety.

"Wei Ying, wouldn't want them to know." Lan Wangji said slowly.

Lan Xichen was slightly taken aback. He wasn't surprised about Wei Wuxian not wanting his family to know. This would indicate that most likely Wei Wuxian's family were not aware of any concerns related to his mental wellbeing and safety. This would make sense as to why no information was passed to Lan Xichen when the boy was sent here to study. If Wei Wuxian's family didn't know, it wasn't strange that Wei Wuxian would want to continue to conceal it from them.

What did surprise Lan Xichen, however, was that Lan Wangji told him this without any prompting. Lan Wangji usually actively avoided interfering in what he considered other peoples' business. The fact that Lan Wangji seemed to be deliberately entangling himself more was a clear sign of how much he cared about Wei Wuxian. Lan Xichen gave his brother a sad smile. He knew based on Lan Wangji's expression and words that he did not want to inform the Jiang siblings. Lan Xichen knew it was probably out of respect and concern for Wei Wuxian. Lan Wangji would likely consider revealing such personal information to be a breach of trust. As much as Lan Xichen would like to accommodate his brother, this was unfortunately a non-negotiable area.

"They are his family. This is serious not just for his safety, but for his overall wellbeing. I will have to inform his family." Lan Xichen said gently. Lan Wangji looked down at the ground, unwilling to meet Lan Xichen's eyes. Lan Xichen had not seen such a clear expression of disappointment from Lan Wangji in years.

"Everything?" Lan Wangji asked after a long silence. He was still staring at his shoes while he spoke. Lan Xichen frowned. The family had to be told about Wei Wuxian's suicide attempt, but perhaps they did not need to go into too many details. Lan Xichen sighed heavily. He wouldn't know until he got the full story. Only then could he decide whether some details could remain private.

"Tell me everything that happened, and we'll go from there." Lan Xichen said at last. Lan Wangji took a deep breath and then led his brother into the room.

Lan Xichen had assumed Wei Wuxian was most likely in the room his brother had emerged from. He had been panicking when Lan Wangji sent someone to bring him to the infirmary. Normally Lan Wangji would come directly to the Hanshi to speak with him. Once he got the basics of the situation he could guess that Wei Wuxian was in the infirmary and Lan Wangji did not wish to go far from him.

Lan Xichen wasn't certain what he expected to see upon entering the room. He was a bit surprised no one had been in the room watching Wei Wuxian when they were talking outside the door. Then again Lan Wangji seemed to care a great deal about Wei Wuxian's privacy. Given that he was actually a bit surprised to find that Wei Wuxian was simply asleep on the bed.

As Lan Xichen looked more closely he noticed Wei Wuxian was shivering in his sleep. It reminded Lan Xichen of a scared rabbit. This image was further supported when he registered faint distressed whispers. Wei Wuxian seemed to be muttering in his sleep, and the evidence suggested his dreams were not pleasant. Much to Lan Xichen's surprise, Lan Wangji immediately moved to Wei Wuxian's side and sat on the edge of the bed. His movements were steady and controlled. It seemed he was worried about moving too suddenly and waking the sleeping teenager. Lan Wangji gently stroked Wei Wuxian's hair as though trying to soothe him.

"Mn. I'm here." Lan Wangji said softly. It was only then that Lan Xichen was able to decipher the almost inaudible murmurs. He was calling for Lan Wangji. Lan Xichen felt his heart ache as he watched his didi approach Wei Wuxian. This was the first time Lan Xichen had seen Lan Wangji initiate touch with another person since their mother's death. Specifically this was a comforting touch. It had no function except to communicate care and soothe. Lan Xichen felt a sudden flurry of conflicting emotions. He found himself grateful that Lan Wangji's full attention was on Wei Wuxian. Lan Xichen was surprised, elated, and deeply concerned. Seeing Lan Wangji initiate this kind of contact was honestly something he never expected to see.

That Lan Wangji enjoyed Wei Wuxian's presence was not a secret to Lan Xichen. His didi did not seem to know how to express this, but fortunately that had not stopped Wei Wuxian. This development was making Lan Xichen rethink a few things though. His hope had been that Lan Wangji would finally make a friend. He was now wondering if perhaps Lan Wangji wanted more than just to be friends with Wei Wuxian. This of course also came with the realization that Wei Wuxian's well being was really too precious to risk being handled poorly. Wei Wuxian's life depended on it, and so did Lan Wangji's. After a long while Wei Wuxian seemed to settle. Once he was sleeping calmly, Lan Wangji did not stop gently stroking his hair. Lan Wangji seemed content to continue as is and only began to speak after a prolonged silence.

In a low voice Lan Wangji related the events as best he could. He described everything he observed. He repeated every word Wei Wuxian had said. Lan Wangji was not certain he had ever spoken so much in a single conversation. However, hei couldn't help but feel it wasn't enough. His words felt inadequate. His words didn't properly convey the desperation and exhaustion. The raw pain Lan Wangji could hear in those sobs and screams. He never wanted to hear such sounds come from Wei Wuxian ever again.

Lan Xichen was quiet for a long time after Lan Wangji was through. He was very proud of Lan Wangji. Not only for saving Wei Wuxian's life. Lan Wangji was much better with actions than words. The effort it took for Lan Wangji to speak so much on a subject was far greater than the effort to physically protect. Lan Xichen knew his didi was a kind and deeply caring person. It pained him greatly to hear others describe him as cold and unfeeling. Lan Wangji always kept his heart carefully concealed, and nothing Lan Xichen did had been able to get past his barriers. That his kind and gentle heart was finally beginning to show was more than Lan Xichen had dared hope for. Unfortunately it just had to happen in such a tragic and precarious situation. Finally Lan Xichen let out a deep sigh.

"There is not much to say really from what you described. All they need to know is that he tried to kill himself. He didn't tell you the reasons so we have to hope maybe he'll be willing to open up once he wakes up." Lan Xichen said quietly as he slowly stood.

"Xiongzhang?" Lan Xichen could hear the question in Lan Wangji's voice.

"I will ask one of the healers to come in and check his injuries. From your description they should be quite minor, so I'll ask them to wait a bit in case it wakes him. I'll send a letter to Lotus Pier in the meantime and inform the Jiang siblings." Lan Wangji didn't bother responding. His focus was entirely on the sleeping figure beside him. Lan Xichen gazed at his brother briefly.

'Wangji. You have been so withdrawn and lonely since our mother passed. I was so happy to see you get closer to Wei-gongzi. Will you still be okay if he...' Lan Xichen left the room and forced the thought to stop mid sentence. 'Whatever it takes we'll help Wei-gongzi. I won't let Wangji lose anyone else. I couldn't help our mother, but we're both older and stronger now. We'll help Wei-gongzi.'

Lan Xichen spoke briefly with one of the healers before returning to the Hanshi. Lan Xichen's mind kept running through thousands of possibilities as he composed the letter. He tried to piece together any signs from earlier that Wei Wuxian had been suffering. Lan Xichen had always felt that he was very observant. No one else could see what his didi was feeling like he could. Now he wondered if that hadn't all been hubris. Maybe he could read Lan Wangji's emotions better than others, but clearly that didn't mean he could read other people just as well.

There was also the matter of his Uncle. Lan Xichen felt a deep feeling of shame in his stomach. His Uncle had always been strict, but with Wei Wuxian it was more than that. Lan Xichen had tried to diffuse things now and then. Gently remind his uncle to keep a broader perspective. He thought it was the best approach. Now, he felt like a coward. His Uncle had been more than strict with Wei Wuxian. His Uncle had been cruel. Just from what Lan Xichen had witnessed and heard he knew that his Uncle was giving out punishments more severe than the offense warranted. He understood why his Uncle was upset, and he respected his Uncle. Because of these two things he only tried to counsel his Uncle to be generous and look at the situation from a broader perspective. Yet, what did that mean for the teenager his Uncle was punishing?

The excessive punishments. The way his Uncle always looked at Wei Wuxian first when anything went wrong. The verbal ridicule. The... he needed to stop trying to say it nicely. Lan Xichen took a breath as he fought the urge to sugar coat his own thoughts. Just from what Lan Xichen had seen it could be said that his Uncle bullied Wei Wuxian. This did not account for the things Lan Xichen had heard, but not witnessed. If a fraction of them were true... Lan Xichen sighed as he waited for the ink to dry on the paper. Lan Xichen had never felt this way. He felt disgusted. He felt disgusted with himself. He felt disgusted with his Uncle. When did the rules become something leveraged to hurt someone rather than a guide for just behavior? When did a clan elder become so synonymous with rules, that nothing could be said if they broke them? Was it acceptable to ignore things, just because the teenager seemed to be coping with it fine?

'He wants to die.' No one should have to be at the point of wanting to die before they received the help that they needed. To say that Wei Wuxian seemed fine wasn't a good enough reason. Would anyone feel good if they were berated and punished excessively? Of course not. Lan Xichen should have spoken to his uncle after the first day of class. When his Uncle shouted at Wei Wuxian and even threw a scroll at him. Lan Xichen should have pointed out the rules his Uncle violated and assigned him punishment the way he would for any disciple. He couldn't change what he didn't do before. He made a note on the list of things he was dreading, but needed to do to help Wei Wuxian. He would need to talk with his Uncle to prevent further confrontations. Lan Xichen despised confronting or challenging his uncle, but it wasn't right to continue to let Wei Wuxian suffer because of Lan Xichen's discomfort. Lan Xichen sealed the letter and sent it off to Yunmeng. Taking a deep breath he turned and went to complete his next dreaded task. He needed to inform the Jiang siblings about Wei Wuxian.