Wei Wuxian had spent a lot of time trying to think of a way to properly describe the feeling of controlling resentful energy. Trying to come up with a description that fully captured it seemed to be more impossible than controlling it. He could explain pieces of it. Small snatches of what the experience was like. In small amounts it was a flash of cold, a whisper of voices, and a small flare of emotion as Wei Wuxian exerted his will.

With larger amounts it was a different game altogether. Wei Wuxian imagined commanding a large amount of resentful energy was a bit like controlling flood waters. A fast moving river of energy uncaringly ripping apart everything in its path. To control it was something rough and desperate. Convincing it to go a certain direction by throwing up walls to stop it from going one way. Carving into the ground to encourage it to go another.

Wei Wuxian felt the urge to shake his head. Maybe this was a bad analogy. The more he thought about it the more he felt like it didn't really describe the experience at all. The force of emotions laced in the energy. How strongly you had to make yourself feel in order to ensure that you were controlling the resentful energy instead of it controlling you.

Chenqing was a focus. Wei Wuxian could direct much of his attention to Chenqing. He could play and use the music to help direct his emotions. Making it easier to control his emotions, control the energy, and not become lost in the swirl of voices and feelings that laced the energy he was using.

The Yin Hufu changed things even more dramatically. The Yin Hufu was not a focus. It was... A well? A spring? The Yin Hufu was suffused with resentful energy. It was hungry for it, always drawing in more. Wei Wuxian didn't need to do anything to gather resentful energy. The Yin Hufu did it itself. Wei Wuxian only needed to direct the energy.

It was simple in a way. The Yin Hufu could store and exert amounts of resentful energy that Wei Wuxian could not even have attempted to move on his own. Wei Wuxian had no idea what the upper limit on the Yin Hufu was. Wei Wuxian had never used it to its full capacity, and he was pretty sure that his mind would be lost before he could reach it if he ever tried.

If controlling a large amount of resentful energy with Chenqing was like trying to direct a flooding river, then using the Yin Hufu was like having a tsunami pour through your entire being. It was like the entire ocean crashed through you in one giant wave. Filled with shards of ice slicing and tearing through your body. Made out of cold and screams and so much emotion. Anger. Hatred. Misery. Rage. Terror. Pain.

'So. Much. PAIN.' It wasn't a matter of trying to block the foreign emotions out while enduring the physical energy of all that resentful energy flowing through him. The feelings were inside of him. They were in him. They hollowed him out until Wei Wuxian could not remember what he had felt before. He felt everything that suffused the resentful energy, like he was nothing but a vessel for it.

The resentful energy was angry.

Wei Wuxian was angry.

It wanted to kill.

Wei Wuxian wanted to kill.

Wei Wuxian commanded it to kill the QishanWen sect cultivators.

The cultivators were dead.

The resentful energy was still angry. Wei Wuxian was still angry. It wanted to vent. It wanted to release all of that rage and hatred and terror. Wei Wuxian wanted to release all of the rage and hatred and terror.

Vaguely, Wei Wuxian remembered wanting to only attack the QishanWen sect cultivators. Like a fading dream, Wei Wuxian remembered an indistinct desire to not hurt anyone else. Why had he been concerned about that? Why did he care who was hurt when he was so angry? Why did he care who was hurt when he was in so much pain?

"-ei -ing!" Wei Wuxian heard the voice from somewhere far away. His head was full of screaming voices, but this one seemed more distinct. A distant sound reaching him through the white noise of screams.

"Wei Ying!" The voice was urgent, and...

'Warm?' That seemed strange. 'Why would this voice make me feel warm?'

"Wei Ying!" The desperation in the voice somehow felt different from the desperation in all the other voices.

'Oh. That's my name isn't it? Is that why it sounds so warm?' Wei Wuxian wondered.

"Gege!" A young sharp voice pierced through Wei Wuxian making everything inside him stutter for a moment.

Suddenly Wei Wuxian was aware that his feelings were different from all of the emotions that poured through his body. They were different. The anger and rage and terror were different from the panic about the owner of that young voice. A warm weight suddenly crashed into Wei Wuxian's leg. Wei Wuxian abruptly forced the resentful energy down to prevent it from lashing out at what was most certainly a child.

"Gege! Gege help Didi!" There was a tugging sensation on Wei Wuxian's robes, and a warm weight pressed tightly against one of his legs.

Wei Wuxian's vision cleared to reveal a young girl latched onto his leg. Grey eyes so dark they were almost black stare up at Wei Wuxian. The girl could not have been older than five, but Wei Wuxian suspected she was even younger than that. She was covered in dirt, as though she might have fallen while running, and there was a slightly swollen red mark across one of her cheeks. As though she had been slapped.

Wei Wuxian felt dazed, staring down at this tiny child. Her big eyes were red rimmed and there were obvious tracks from tears painted through the dust on her cheeks. She had obviously been crying, but she was not crying now. Instead of tearful sobs the four year old was staring at him with indignation, as though she was personally offended that he was taking so long in reacting to her.  Wei Wuxian could feel her tiny hands gripping onto his leg through his clothes. Her hold was so tight that Wei Wuxian thought it might leave bruises.

"Gege!" She shouted up at him, her face set in a determined scowl.

Wei Wuxian finally collected himself enough to remember what was happening. He took the time he needed to settle the resentful energy. Separating the Yin Hufu into two halves once more, finally quieting the onslaught of voices screaming in his head. The little girl that had attached herself to his leg did not seem to understand how dangerous what she just did was. Wei Wuxian was horrified that he could have easily killed her and he was so grateful that he had managed to come back to himself enough to hold the resentful energy back.

"Gege, stop being slow!" The girl shouted. Her tone reminded him of an irritated Wen Qing right before she threatened to stick him full of needles. "Come help Didi!" She annunciation each word with another sharp tug on his robes.

Wei Wuxian felt light headed and dizzy from the battle. It took entirely too much effort to keep himself from toppling over due to the insistent tugging. His entire body burned, like he had stepped into a hot bath after rolling around in the snow. Combined with the painful aching in his limbs and the throbbing in his head, every sensation just seemed to create more pain. He forced himself to smile, not wanting to upset the child.

"Xian-gege is sorry for being slow Little One. Lead the way." Wei Wuxian offered, trying to look non-threatening. Absently it occurred to him that he probably didn't need to bother since he must have looked like a demon when she decided to launch herself at his leg earlier.

"Mn." The girl nodded decisively as she grabbed onto his offered hand and immediately began dragging him along with her.

Wei Wuxian stumbled in his steps while trying to keep up with her, only to feel warm hands steady him. Wei Wuxian blinked up at Lan Wangji. Wei Wuxian still felt dazed and oddly detached from himself, but he felt something tense loosen immediately once he saw those beautiful pale gold eyes on him.

"Gege's hurry up!" The little girl said, almost stomping her feet as she pulled on Wei Wuxian's arm. Wei Wuxian felt his lips quirking into a small smile despite his pain and exhaustion. Her frustrated little face was so adorable. He might have teased her if it weren't for the dread in his stomach whenever his eyes settled on the swollen red bruise on her face.

'Did cultivators do that to her?' Wei Wuxian wondered silently.

She dragged them just past the last of the houses, and Wei Wuxian felt dread as a different sound became clear. Tearful wails and shrieks filled the air. Wei Wuxian felt a new layer of panic stab his heart. The sound of a child in pain, and Wei Wuxian paired that with the words of the fierce little girl.

'Gege, help Didi!' She had shouted.

Wei Wuxian found the energy to pick up his pace. A good thing since the screaming voice of the other child seemed to spurn the little girl to run faster. They came upon an overturned cart. A few bodies were scattered around the area. Several cultivators and a few civilian corpses that had obviously moved when they were reanimated to fight the QishanWen sect.

The little girl released Wei Wuxian's arm in favour of running more quickly. She dropped to her knees on the far side of the overturned cart and Wei Wuxian heard a quiet murmuring, like she was trying to sooth the crying child. The crying didn't stop, although there were more gasping breaths that Wei Wuxian could make out. It did not lesson Wei Wuxian's concern when he heard a tiny voice struggling to breathe.

"Jiejie! Jiejie!" The little voice wailed between gasps.

"A-Yuan..." The name left Wei Wuxian's lips in a bewildered whisper.

Wei Wuxian remembered a tiny Wen Yuan the first night he brought the Wen remnants to the Burial Mounds. Wen Yuan had woken up in the middle of the night sobbing for his Jiejie, and it sounded just like this. Wei Wuxian bolted the last distance between himself and the children. The little girl was kneeling close to a small figure. She was holding a tiny hand and desperately trying to sooth the other child.

"It's okay Didi. I brought help. You'll be okay." The little girl said softly, her voice slightly desperate.

Wei Wuxian was stunned. This was Wen Yuan. This was his little boy, and he was even littler than Wei Wuxian remembered. His tiny body was almost completely concealed beneath the cart and Wei Wuxian had no way of knowing how injured the toddler was.

Wei Wuxian did not even think. He pulled out Chenqing and played. He didn't care that he was still in pain and achingly tired. He didn't care that the world still seemed fuzzy and indistinct around the edges. The resentful energy solidified and coiled around the cart before lifting it directly into the air.

'He's so tiny.' Wei Wuxian felt tears pressing at his eyes as he got his first look at Wen Yuan's entire body. Wei Wuxian had automatically thought of him as a toddler, but Wei Wuxian wasn't so sure now. He was so young, younger than when Wei Wuxian had first met him.

"You must step back so Wei Ying can set the cart down," Lan Wangji's explained softly to the little girl. He was holding Wen Yuan carefully in his arms, like he was afraid the little boy would break. It appeared a bit awkward, but Wei Wuxian was confident Lan Wangji would not let Wen Yuan fall. Once everyone had backed up Wei Wuxian let the cart fall back to the ground and dismissed the resentful energy.

"We have to get him to a healer." Wei Wuxian said, staring at the crying and struggling toddler that Lan Wangji seemed to be terrified might break in his arms. Wei Wuxian felt a tug as a tiny fist gripped onto his robes near his leg once more. He gazed down to see Wen Yuan's jie holding onto his robes. She was staring towards the ground with tears trailing down her cheek.

"Gege, will protect Didi and me, right? Mama and Baba are gone. Gege... Gege is strong. No one will hurt Didi if Gege protects him." Her voice was trembling slightly, but Wei Wuxian could hear a stubbornness in her voice. That same determination she had glared up at him with when she latched onto his leg.

"Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian said quietly. "Hand him to me. I'll hold him, you can make sure I keep walking until we find a healer."