Lan Wangji awoke slowly. There were quiet sounds filtering in from beyond the walls of the tent. Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji's tent was on the edge of the GusuLan sect's section of camp. It was distinctly quieter from the rest of camp, but that did not mean they could not hear noises from across camp. It was early enough that Lan Wangji did not hear too much noise coming from the other sects, but the quiet sounds of people and voices told Lan Wangji that most of the GusuLan sect was already going about their day.

Lan Wangji did not feel the least bit rested. His body felt heavy and his head throbbed uncomfortably. The dull throbbing sharpened when Lan Wangji opened his eyes. The light was uncomfortably bright, painting his vision a solid white alongside the stab of pain behind his eyes. There was a slight pressure as someone began to massage Lan Wangji's temples gently. A small stream of spiritual energy provided a comforting warmth that began to dull the pain.

"This is what you get for depleting your spiritual energy so badly. You don't drink, but apparently you like the feeling of having a hangover," Wei Wuxian griped quietly. The words and inflection sounded angry, but the soft deliberate volume was almost more soothing than Wei Wuxian's gentle touch.

"I have working legs. If you expended a lot of spiritual energy, we could just walk back to camp. You didn't need to drain yourself by flying us both back." Wei Wuxian continued to grumble softly. The admonishment was soft, filled with affection that wrapped around Lan Wangji like a warm blanket.

"Wei Ying was exhausted." Lan Wangji said quietly.

Lan Wangji could practically feel the pouty frown that graced Wei Wuxian's face. He cracked his eyes open slowly and found it impossible to suppress a small smile from forming on his lips. Wei Wuxian looked adorable. The childish pout softened the frown of displeasure. The pout was a small reveal that Wei Wuxian knew Lan Wangji was right, and did not want to say so. Lan Wangji adored that look on Wei Wuxian's face.

"Lan Zhan~" Wei Wuxian whined. "That is a terrible excuse. You know I made it through this entire war before. Without you carrying me back to camp after every battle, and without you prodding me to clean up." Lan Wangji noted with some satisfaction that Wei Wuxian did not even attempt to jokingly complain about how they cuddled each other to sleep every night.

"Wei Ying can survive much. Does not mean Wei Ying should have to." It takes no thought to string those words together. Lan Wangji has said them many times, in many variations. Wei Wuxian huffs in annoyance, a mild sound with no real displeasure behind it.

"I accept that how I survived the war last time was not exactly a good method." Wei Wuxian says, somewhat begrudgingly.

Lan Wangji distinctly remembers holding Wei Wuxian after one of his nightmares about the war. The war does not actually feature as prominently in Wei Wuxian's nightmares as one might think. Still, Lan Wangji endeavours to remember the details of every experience Wei Wuxian shares with him. Lan Wangji recalls holding Wei Wuxian in the early hours of the morning, still many hours away from dawn. He remembers Wei Wuxian describing what the war was like for him.

Wei Wuxian had lost everyone he might consider family except for Jiang Wanyin and Jiang Yanli. Yu Ziyuan and Jiang Fengmian had told Wei Wuxian to protect Jiang Wanyin and Jiang Yanli. It was the last thing they said to Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian lost his golden core. Had to feel it cut out of his body. Then he was thrown into the Burial Mounds.

Lan Wangji had gone to the Burial Mounds with Wei Wuxian during the start of the war. Lan Wangji had intellectually understood that the Burial Mounds were a place no one had ever survived. He understood it was filled with resentful energy, too powerful to be cleansed. Lan Wangji did not truly understand. Only when the two of them entered did Lan Wangji fully realize what it meant that Wei Wuxian had survived there.

The two of them entered the Burial Mounds together. That first step inside seemed to knock the air from Lan Wangji's lungs. Cold heavy air pressed down on Lan Wangji. Everything was shrouded in an unnatural din, with resentful energy like tangible shadows, coiling and whipping through the air. That same air felt thick, like heavy syrup against Lan Wangji's skin. Trying to take in a breath felt impossible and Lan Wangji could feel the sharp edges of resentful energy beginning to assault his body. The edges of claws that felt eager to rip through him and tear into his golden core.

Wei Wuxian had let out a sharp whistle. There had been a sharp glow of crackling red energy. Suddenly the resentful energy was being pushed back. Not a lot, but enough that Lan Wangji was finally able to take in a breath. Wei Wuxian spent days seeming to fight with the resentful energy of the Burial Mounds. At first it was aggressive.

Wei Wuxian did not sleep the first few days. Lan Wangji is almost certain this was because of Lan Wangji's presence. Any resentful energy that tried to slip past Wei Wuxian to attack Lan Wangji was quickly thwarted. Glowing ruby eyes cast a sharp glare at the air around Lan Wangji, and Lan Wangji remains safe.

Lan Wangji watches Wei Wuxian take control of the energy. Direct it around them, and force it back from the area in which they are staying. Wei Wuxian's time in the Burial Mounds with Lan Wangji is exhausting for him. This is a Wei Wuxian who has already done this, and already mastered demonic cultivation. He has Lan Wangji to support him. They brought supplies so they can eat and drink without consuming the resentment contaminated water, or the scarce and tainted wild fruits.

It was weeks before Wei Wuxian could spare enough focus to begin to work on Chenqing. When they finally left the Burial Mounds Lan Wangji brought them to an inn. Wei Wuxian collapsed the second they entered their room, like he hadn't slept in months. This was how exhausted Wei Wuxian was this time. Lan Wangji cannot imagine what it would have been like before.

To be dropped into the Burial Mounds, injured and without a golden core. To be assaulted by that energy in a constant barrage of screams and pain. To find a way to control it, alone. To have to endure little sleep, having no one who can stand guard over you to keep an eye out for fierce corpses that might be drawn to the only living people within that hell. Wei Wuxian did all of that alone, and Lan Wangji is quite certain that there is no one in this world that could have done what Wei Wuxian did.

Wei Wuxian endured hell, alone. He had no golden core to stave off infections. Some of his wounds must have become infected while he was within the Burial Mounds. He had to drink water contaminated with resentful energy. Even if he had the luxury to spend time searching for food, there would have been so little to find. The resentful energy would have assaulted Wei Wuxian's mind tirelessly until Wei Wuxian learned how to make it stop. Lan Wangji knows that, even now, Wei Wuxian is more sensitive to resentful energy than most people. He can feel the emotions wrapped up in it. He can hear the screams.

Then Wei Wuxian found himself in a war. At that point Wei Wuxian had probably felt like a ghost visiting the world of the living, rather than as a person returned to their friends and family. Wei Wuxian had truly returned from hell. He returned with abilities that no one else had ever seen, carrying a secret that had ripped Wei Wuxian to pieces.

Wei Wuxian could not bring himself to be close with people the way he once had. The only thing that kept him moving was protecting Jiang Wanyin and Jiang Yanli, and to do that he needed to win them the war. Wei Wuxian became increasingly isolated from the rest of the cultivators. People were afraid of him. People were offended that he held such power and they did not. Those who were worried about him... They were there, but Wei Wuxian could not bridge the gaps between them and himself.

Wei Wuxian did not expect to survive the war last time, and Lan Wangji was quite certain that the Wei Wuxian of them had not particularly wished to live through the war. So Wei Wuxian only needed to maintain appearances to protect the secret that would hurt Jiang Wanyin. As soon as no one was looking, he would collapse where he stood. In pain, covered in blood, in his tent or on the side of the road. Wei Wuxian only survived because of his desire to protect others. None of his choices back then were about living for himself.

"Wei Ying." Lan Wangji said softly. "Love you." Wei Wuxian glanced to the side.

"I'm still mad at you for putting unnecessary strain on yourself." Wei Wuxian said petulantly.

"Mn." Lan Wangji nodded with a very small smile. Wei Wuxian sighed, and Lan Wangji did his best not to look smug as Wei Wuxian leaned forward. A soft kiss was pressed to Lan Wangji's forehead.

"I love you too. I don't like you getting hurt because of me, but I understand why you do it." Wei Wuxian whispered softly.

"It is not damaging." Lan Wangji felt the need to point out. He was very careful about not straining his core to the point of actually risking damage to his cultivation or body. Wei Wuxian made an unhappy groan.

"You cut it pretty damn close, my Love." Wei Wuxian complained. "Besides, it isn't just damage that makes me upset. I know you feel like crap right now. Exhausting your spiritual energy to that level does not quite start to damage your body, but the results still leave you feeling like a night of intense drinking without the fun bits."

Lan Wangji had many things he could say to that. It was similar to how Lan Wangji disliked the pain Wei Wuxian endured when using his demonic cultivation. It wasn't actually damaging Wei Wuxian's body. However, it was painful and Lan Wangji hated to see Wei Wuxian in pain.

"After the war, such things should be rare." Lan Wangji said at last. Wei Wuxian could not stop what he was doing during the war. Lan Wangji would not stop pushing himself to ease Wei Wuxian's suffering. At least Wei Wuxian's golden core meant that Wei Wuxian was able to help Lan Wangji recover the next day.

"Hmm... no battles to exhaust our spiritual energy or to require me to harness resentful energy until I collapse. We will need to find a new routine, something to make use of all that unused effort." Wei Wuxian said suggestively. Lan Wangji felt a smile spreading across his face.

"Mn."