
Chapter 12: The Infirmary
Lan Wangji was pleased to see the concerned look in Wen Qing's eyes. Even more so he was glad that concern held a calm, slightly anxious edge to it. Lan Wangji felt confident that that look of concern was one that was looking to offer support. Of course Wen Qing had proven that to him already with her every word and action the day before. He considered how to explain the confusing confrontation that had just unfolded.
Jiang Wanyin had tried to talk with Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian at first didn't speak, but then tried to say nothing was wrong. This of course was a lie. Lan Wangji knew this and Jiang Wanyin certainly knew this as well. For there Lan Wangji didn't really understand what happened. Jiang Wanyin seemed angry, which Lan Wangji might have understood if it had presented differently. Lan Wangji had been unhappy that Wei Wuxian would call what happened nothing. It was not nothing and Wei Wuxian should not be acting so dismissive towards himself. However, for some reason, Jiang Wanyin seemed to become angry with Wei Wuxian. He shouted at him and commented about who Wei Wuxian chose to speak with. Then he had stormed off.
Lan Wangji had not really understood the purpose of the last comment, but it clearly had a great impact on Wei Wuxian. He had immediately jumped to his feet and began shaking. He seemed to desperately want to chase after Jiang Wanyin, but was also afraid to do so. Lan Wangji felt that there was something in this interaction that he was not understanding, but he knew what he felt was the most important part. It had hurt Wei Wuxian, who had already suffered more than any person should. Lan Wangji turned to the question in Wen Qing's eyes and gave her the only answer he could."
"Jiang Wanyin." He watched a look of understanding pass through Wen Qing's eyes followed by a flash of anger. Her lips pressed into a slight frown as she nodded her head in acknowledgement. Lan Wangji was pleased that she seemed to understand, until he realized that Wei Wuxian had suddenly gone stiff in his arms. Lan Wangji was immediately concerned and turned a worried gaze toward him.
"A-Ying," Wen Qing prompted. Wei Wuxian immediately relaxed and let out a relieved sigh. Who had he thought it was? Then Lan Wangji realized that while Wen Qing understood what Lan Wangji had meant, Wei Wuxian had not. All Wei Wuxian had known was that someone entered the room, and then Lan Wangji said Jiang Wanyin's name. Lan Wangji felt immediately ashamed. He should have made it clear who he was addressing before he answered Wen Qing's question. Lan Wangji gently rubbed Wei Wuxian's back a few times.
"I brought medicine for your throat," Wen Qing said, approaching them. Wei Wuxian turned in Lan Wangji's embrace so he could look at her. Lan Wangji was glad he hadn't moved away. Lan Wangji wanted Wei Wuxian close to him. He slid his arms around Wei Wuxian's waist and let him lean against his chest. It was still a new experience for Lan Wangji to want to touch someone, but holding Wei Wuxian was comforting and reassuring like nothing else. Wen Qing did not wait for Wei Wuxian to move closer to her either. She brought the bowl to him and he took it from her hands and drank it quickly. His face scrunched up and he stuck his tongue out in displeasure after he drank it. Wen Qing rolled her eyes, but there was a small poorly concealed smile on her face. She took the bowl away and set it on the table. After a brief pause the smile faded and her expression grew gentle and concerned.
"How are you doing?" Wei Wuxian groaned loudly and made a show of hiding his face in his hands.
"Jiejie..." He whined. "Can't you start with an easy question?" The playful and exaggerated complaint eased something inside of Lan Wangji. Wen Qing meanwhile shot Wei Wuxian a look.
"What easy questions?" she asked point blank. "On the list of questions that need to be asked, that is the easy one." Wei Wuxian let his hands fall away but stuck his lower lip out in a pout. She smiled at him and shook her head.
"Do you want to discuss what you want to say about the resentful energy then?" Wen Qing asked. Wei Wuxian groaned quietly.
"What explanation can I give? Outside of this room it would be like I learned demonic cultivation overnight. No one even believed I knew what I was doing when I had learned it while being missing for months. If no one believed me then, why would they believe me now?" Wei Wuxian sounded exasperated. Lan Wangji's chest ached. He knew he was included in the people Wei Wuxian was talking about. Even now his anxious heart wanted to ask if Wei Wuxian could control it. He wanted reassurance that it wasn't hurting the man he loved. Lan Wangji did not let the words leave his lips. It would be too easy for Wei Wuxian to hear those questions and think he was doubting him.
"Sit down, " Wen Qing said with a sigh as she led them over to a table. Lan Wangji felt a bit disappointed as he sat down. He was already missing the feeling of holding Wei Wuxian close. He stifled a sigh trying not to show his disappointment. It was more practical to sit at the table for a serious discussion, and there was certainly plenty to be discussed.
Lan Wangji was suddenly pulled from his thoughts as Wei Wuxian's suddenly leaned against him. Lan Wangji's eyes widened as he found Wei Wuxian was barely even touching his own sitting mat. Instead Wei Wuxian was almost entirely on Lan Wangji's. Wei Wuxian had pressed himself so close to Lan Wangji that he was almost sitting in his lap. Lan Wangji's arms moved while his brain was still trying to catch up with this turn of events. He looped an arm around Wei Wuxian to steady him and hold him close. He saw Wei Wuxian gaze shyly at him through his lowered lashes, and Lan Wangji suddenly felt like all the air had been stolen from his body. As far as Lan Wangji was aware he had never blushed, but his face suddenly felt hot. He glanced up nervously towards Wen Qing, but she seemed completely unphased by what was happening in front of her. Lan Wangji took a slow shaky breath to calm himself down then settled until he was comfortably holding Wei Wuxian. Once he turned his attention back to her she began to speak as if Wei Wuxian had not practically climbed into Lan Wangji's lap in front of her.
"So far I have only really thought of two options." Wen Qing began calmly. "The first would be convincing the few people who witnessed you using the resentful energy to not say anything about it. I don't know how feasible this is, and I don't know what we might need to do to convince them that it is not something to panic over." Lan Wangji felt Wei Wuxian shiver slightly in his arms.
"I never managed to convince anyone to not panic over it after the war. During the war most people were happy as long as I was killing QishanWen cultivators. Once the war ended suddenly everybody went from praising me to talking about how I was rude, arrogant, and unstable. Suddenly all the things they praised me for during the war became examples of my wickedness." Wei Wuxian staring at the table. "Even I feel like I went a bit far sometimes, but it wasn't like I had ever lost control and hurt our own people during the war. The events didn't change, but suddenly how everyone talked about them did." Lan Wangji held Wei Wuxian a bit closer. Trying to provide extra comfort in response to the wounded sound in Wei Wuxian's voice.
"Would Jiang Wanyin and Jiang Yanli tell anyone about it?" Wen Qing asked. Wei Wuxian shook his head, then paused.
"I don't think so. Even if Jiang Cheng is mad at me, he wouldn't want to give people a reason to target me. He doesn't hate me yet." Wei Wuxian's voice became very quiet. Wen Qing frowned slightly, but didn't comment. Instead she directed her gaze to Lan Wangji.
"What about Zewu-Jun?" Wen Qing asked. Lan Wangji considered his answer.
"Xiongzhang would not spread gossip." Lan Wangji said. "May inform Shufu." He added reluctantly. He felt Wei Wuxian suddenly grip the fabric of his robes. Lan Wangji turned his gaze to him in concern. Wei Wuxian's expression looked panicked. His eyes looked glassy and his breathing had begun to grow erratic. Lan Wangji raised one of his hands to Wei Wuxian's cheek and turned Wei Wuxian's head to look at him.
"Wei Ying. I'm here. I won't leave." Lan Wangji said in a low soft voice. Wei Wuxian blinked slowly. He took a deep shaky breath before slowly nodding his head. Wordlessly he leaned his head against Lan Wangji's shoulder taking a few more deep breaths to calm himself. Lan Wangji hated seeing Wei Wuxian scared or panicked. He held him close and let him take his time in calming down.
"Sorry," Wei Wuxian said quietly once he seemed to have calmed down. His voice was quiet and ashamed. Lan Wangji frowned. Without thinking he pulled Wei Wuxian into a tight embrace.
"Wei Ying never needs to say this to me." Lan Wangji spoke the words against Wei Wuxian's hair. He heard Wei Wuxian's breath hitch. Then Wei Wuxian completely relaxed against him. Wei Wuxian cuddled in Lan Wangji's arms taking deep steady breaths.
"Alright," Wei Wuxian whispered quietly. Lan Wangji felt a faint smile pull at the corners of his lips. Wei Wuxian sounded much calmer. Wen Qing only began speaking again once the two of them settled back in a similar position to how they started.
"The other option would be to lie. Call it some weird quirk. Maybe make up something you were attacked by, and pretend to expel the resentful energy from your body." Wen Qing continued. "Of course how this would affect everyone's opinions once the war starts and you have to start using it... I'm not sure it would do us any favors in the long run." Lan Wangji frowned. Lying was forbidden.
'Wei Ying is more important.' Lan Wangji said firmly to himself. However, Wen Qing did make a good point that this could only amplify Wei Wuxian's problems in the near future. It was very clear to Lan Wangji at this point that Wei Wuxian had been specifically targeted because of using demonic cultivation. In all of the dialogue between Wei Wuxian and Wen Qing, Lan Wangji had repeatedly heard two things mentioned over and over. One, their victory in the war depended on Wei Wuxian using demonic cultivation. Two, Wei Wuxian had been treated badly because of his demonic cultivation. Lan Wangji wasn't clear exactly how bad the treatment got, or if anything else contributed.
'We won't even make it to the war before everyone wants me dead.' It seemed like it got very bad. Maybe that was when people started filling his head with those horrible words. Lan Wangji did not want Wei Wuxian to be the target of such things ever again. However, Wen Qing was not talking about preventing people from ever finding out about his demonic cultivation. She also wasn't talking about how to make the wider public accept it. Did she not believe it was possible to prevent people from targeting Wei Wuxian for this? Lan Wangji looked down at the surface of the table. He supposed that should be expected. Lan Wangji himself still had much anxiety about it. It was just that he was mostly just anxious about whether it would hurt Wei Wuxian. He supposed others may not know Wei Wuxian as well. They might only know he destroyed their enemies and then worry he might decide to come for them. He bit the inside of his lip lightly, carefully considering his thoughts before he spoke.
"We could tell Xiongzhang about the war."
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