❛ I just wanna run, hide it away. Run before they're finding me out. ❜

SEASON 4, EPISODE 5 & 8
internment & too far gone

━━━━━━ October 15, 2011

LATER THAT AFTERNOON, BIANCA and Rick returned to the prison looking like hell, but there was a serenity to their silence. Bianca's head ached, her hearing was still gone, but she ignored both to watch the trees pass with a slight hope restored. She never would have thought that Rick, of all people, could get her back to a version of her old self, but he did. He showed her that in this year of surviving, she had stayed true to herself, saved her friends, and did all she could before resorting to violent tendencies.

⠀⠀⠀The prison gate opened as they approached, and Bianca waved at Maggie as they passed. Rick stopped the car just inside the fence and stepped out.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca followed him, albeit slower. Maggie's frown deepened as she hastened her step to stand beside Bianca. Her hand gently brushed over the bloody bandage wrapped around her head.

⠀⠀⠀"Are you alright? What happened? Where's Carol?" Maggie fired quickly. Bianca told her quietly that she was fine, and Maggie wrapped her arm around Bianca's shoulder. Her green eyes darted to Rick, awaiting answers.

⠀⠀⠀"Glenn, Hershel, Sasha?" Rick asked instead.

⠀⠀⠀"Yeah, it's bad, but they're fightin' it. Daryl's not back yet," she explained, squeezing Bianca's shoulder in reassurance. Cal wasn't back, but that was to be said. The university was farther than they wanted it to be.

⠀⠀⠀Rick turned on his heel and headed for the car.

⠀⠀⠀"Rick. Rick, where's Carol?"

⠀⠀⠀"It was her," he said, stalking back to them with a glower. "She killed Karen and David."

⠀⠀⠀He paused, allowing Maggie to have a moment to process it. Bianca raised her hand and rested it on top of Maggie's. Maggie took a step back in shock, and Bianca moved with her.

⠀⠀⠀"She was trying to stop it from spreading. Tyreese is gonna be back here soon, so I didn't think she should be here. And I couldn't have her here. She has a car, supplies, she'll figure it out. I'll tell your dad. Don't tell anyone else."

⠀⠀⠀"Okay," Maggie whispered.

⠀⠀⠀Rick went for the car again but paused.

⠀⠀⠀"Would you have brought her back?" Rick asked, guilt-laced.

⠀⠀⠀"She said she did it?" Maggie asked.

⠀⠀⠀"Yeah."

⠀⠀⠀"Then you were right to send her away. I don't know if I could've."

⠀⠀⠀"You could've, Maggie. You've done harder things. Don't doubt yourself. We don't get to anymore."

⠀⠀⠀"Rick, the cluster's gettin' bigger than the one that took the fence down. We need to do something."

⠀⠀⠀"We will!"

⠀⠀⠀Rick drove off and left the two women at the front gate in his frantic need to see his kids. Maggie released Bianca from her grip but stared at her in concern.

⠀⠀⠀"Are you alright?" Maggie asked.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca nodded, a thin smile formed on her lips, but that thin hope started to slip. Her expression collapsed into grief, and Maggie wrapped her back into her arms. She pressed Bianca into her chest and brushed her hair down like she would to Beth. Bianca didn't sob, but tears slipped past as she held tightly to her friend. The day's stress was getting to her that was all, she promised herself.

⠀⠀⠀"Is it Carol?"

⠀⠀⠀"No, no," Bianca whispered, her shoulders tense. "Rick's right. I just—I'm tired, Maggie. I'm really tired."

⠀⠀⠀Maggie pushed Bianca back and brushed a piece of hair out of her face. She smiled like an older sister would, full of wisdom and care.

⠀⠀⠀"I know. We all are. But it's how it is for now, and we both have people to live for. Don't be givin' up on Cal as soon as you got him back."

⠀⠀⠀"No, I won't be," Bianca assured her hesitantly.

⠀⠀⠀"Right, good," Maggie said, softly chuckling. "C'mon, we should probably get you looked at. I got a first aid kit up in the tower."

⠀⠀⠀Bianca smiled. "Thank you, Maggie."

⠀⠀⠀"For what?" Maggie asked, furrowing her brows.

⠀⠀⠀"Bein' my friend." Bianca grinned, eyes bright and her chest warm because even in this shitty world, she could still find good people in the world. "You mean a lot to me. I want you to know that."

⠀⠀⠀"You mean a lot to me, too." Maggie smiled, softer this time, as she reached out her hand and squeezed her hand gently.

CAL HAD RETURNED FROM the trip a day later, with the fence collapsing just as they got inside. They were able to remedy a band aid on the situation for now, but it wouldn't last long. Bianca's head was spinning with what they could do to fix it. She knew this situation wasn't entirely her fault. The number of walkers approaching would overwhelm them eventually. However, she still felt the guilt and needed to fix everything that weighed on her heavily.

⠀⠀⠀It was the early hours of the morning, and neither she nor Cal could sleep. They lay in their bed, hip to hip, staring at the ceiling. Bianca's left leg lay across his right, and her hand was in both of his as he played with her feelings. She could feel sleep at the back of her eyes, but every time they closed, all she could see was Ana and her brutalization.

⠀⠀⠀"How'd your trip go?" Bianca whispered, tired of the silence. She needed something to fill her mind but wasn't sure where to get it except Cal.

⠀⠀⠀"Fine," he answered simply.

⠀⠀⠀There was a heavy pause. Bianca craned her neck to look up at Cal. His bloodshot eyes stayed on the ceiling for a few minutes before finally darting down to her. Cal didn't move to speak. Bianca returned to her original position and stared at their hands. She noticed the ring she had given him for their anniversary was still right where it was meant to be. She pulled her hand from his to twist it around with a smile.

⠀⠀⠀"I remember the night you gave this to me," Cal whispered.

⠀⠀⠀"I hope so," Bianca snarkily said.

⠀⠀⠀Cal's chest rose high with his exasperated breath. Then, he let it out and continued, "I dream of it often. We're back in that restaurant with that kind waiter and happy."

⠀⠀⠀"The waiter... you think he's doin' okay?" Bianca asked.

⠀⠀⠀"Definitely. Probably leader of his own group as we speak," Cal chuckled.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca smiled and nodded in agreement. Her smile faded, and she frowned at what Cal said. "We're not happy now?"

⠀⠀⠀Cal stayed silent, pulling her hand down to his chest and holding it tight. His thumb brushed over the skin as he thought over how to respond. Something that tickled at the back of her head and made her worry. He didn't often think over his words. Yes, he was better spoken than Bianca and did think before he spoke, but he didn't mull over what he said. Like he was hiding something. But she supposed she was hiding things, too. She didn't go into detail about Sam and Ana to him, didn't explain Carol's disappearance, and gave him crumbs for her injuries.

⠀⠀⠀"We were."

⠀⠀⠀"But now?"

⠀⠀⠀"So much has happened. The flu, separating... It's been hard... I just worry about what our future is like. Do we even have a future, or is it only this?"

⠀⠀⠀"We just—We gotta live with how it is, or else we'll never be happy," Bianca whispered.

⠀⠀⠀"I'm sorry," Cal said, rubbing his hand down his face. "I know, I just worry..."

⠀⠀⠀He couldn't finish what he had to say. Something was nagging at him, which nagged at Bianca. She wanted to look inside his head and fish it out. But she couldn't. She turned on her side and propped herself up on her elbow.

⠀⠀⠀"What is it? What aren't you telling me?" Bianca asked.

⠀⠀⠀"Nothin'. I'm fine," Cal assured her, his eyes unable to look in her direction.

⠀⠀⠀"Then tell me how your trip went," Bianca demanded.

⠀⠀⠀"Tell me about yours?" Cal snapped back.

⠀⠀⠀Their eyes locked. Bianca wasn't ready to admit that she was ready to kill herself because of the guilt that ate inside her. Cal didn't look guilty but afraid. Something scared him senseless, but he could not admit whatever it was. As time passed, Bianca sank back into the bed, realizing neither of them were open to admitting their worries. 

BIANCA HAD GONE OUT to check the fence the following morning to clear her head. She waved to Hershel and Michonne as they rode past and hoped for shade from the burning sun. Her sledgehammer rested at her hip in case any walkers came close and trailed the edges of the fence to determine what could be done.

⠀⠀⠀Her head was still aching from the injuries the day before, which muddled her mind. When finished with the patients in Cell Block A, Hershel checked her hearing. He was worried that this time her hearing wouldn't come back. She probably shouldn't be out on her own with the disability, but she hadn't even told Cal about it yet. Bianca felt stupid for keeping it from her. She knew she shouldn't after doing the same to Daryl, but it was easier to not talk about things sometimes.

⠀⠀⠀Suddenly, as her mind was miles away, something struck her from behind.

⠀⠀⠀When Bianca's head cleared, blinking away the darkness, she found the devil himself standing before her. His charming blue eyes narrowed with a hint of curiosity at the wound on her forehead. His calloused fingertips rested gently against her chin to keep her steady. His lips, thin and beige, pursed into a concerned expression that didn't fit him.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca tried to pull away, her back ricocheting against the couch, and her hands were tied at her wrists. The Governor's eyes flickered to lock with her own. His concern faded to annoyance. There was no humor to him, this wasn't a game anymore. He was ready to finish everything.

⠀⠀⠀The Governor kept silent as he raised a band aid in his left hand and pressed it against her temple. She hadn't realized the gauze was gone. The Governor went to the bag on the couch and handed her a granola bar. Bianca accepted it but didn't eat it. Her eyes flickered to Michonne and Hershel sitting on the couch opposite her. Michonne was bubbling with rage while Hershel patiently sat with a twinge of worry between his brows.

⠀⠀⠀"Michonne, I want you to know," the Governor began softly. He stared down at his bag, distraught. "Penny, my daughter, she was dead. I know that now."

⠀⠀⠀Bianca's eyes reverted to the Governor. There was always something off about him. He acted the kind mayor but was willing to rape a girl to get what he wanted. But today, there was a chaotic sense to it. Bianca had no idea what would happen next. She couldn't tell if his words were genuine or just another ruse to get them to trust him. He had a plan hidden inside those steel-blue eyes. He knew every step he would take at this moment months ago, and they were already dead to him.

⠀⠀⠀"Now, I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to hurt anyone," the Governor said to them. His one good eye glanced at Bianca. His lips thinned as a thought passed in his mind. Likely to do with Cal if Bianca had to guess.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca was in the perfect position to hurt him. The Governor agreed with that idea but knew that wasn't where this was leading. He tried to put a reassuring expression on his face.

⠀⠀⠀"Not even Cal," the Governor told her. "I need the prison, that's it. There are people I need to keep alive. You three are gonna help me take it. No one needs to die."

⠀⠀⠀"I'm gonna kill you," Michonne spat.

⠀⠀⠀"No, you won't," the Governor said dismissively.

⠀⠀⠀"I'm gonna take my—"

⠀⠀⠀"Stop it," Hershel scolded her. "You want the prison?" he asked the Governor, hoping to find a peaceful end.

⠀⠀⠀"Yeah, and I'll take it as peacefully as I can," the Governor said.

⠀⠀⠀"Governor—"

⠀⠀⠀"Don't call me that," the Governor said quickly. He seemed disgusted by the name as if he had left that persona behind. Perhaps he had, but it was in his skin no matter how hard he pushed against it.

⠀⠀⠀"Your people, our people, we can find a way to live together. These people you need to keep alive. Do you love them?"

⠀⠀⠀"You're a good man, Hershel. A better man than Rick."

⠀⠀⠀"Everything you've said, the way you've said it. You've changed. So has Rick."

⠀⠀⠀"The two of us will never be able to live together. Michonne, Cal, and I... we'll never be able to live together."

⠀⠀⠀"We'll find a way."

⠀⠀⠀"I found a way!" the Governor screamed, turning to Hershel with his untempered rage. He could never escape himself. He breathed heavily until he calmed again. "I'm tryin' hard. There's all kinds of ways I could do this. This way, you get to live, and I get to be."

⠀⠀⠀The Governor stood, tired of the conversation, and headed for the door. Before he left, Hershel called out to him.

⠀⠀⠀"You say you want to take this prison as peacefully as possible. That means you'd be willing to hurt people to get it. My daughters would be there. That's who you'd be hurtin'," Hershel said. "If you understand what it's like to have a daughter, then how can you threaten to kill someone else's?"

⠀⠀⠀Philip's face hardened to stone, and without remorse, he claimed, "Because they aren't mine."

BIANCA, MICHONNE, AND HERSHEL were stuffed into the back of a truck, driven down to the prison, and waited as the Governor made his grandiose speech to Rick. Bianca could see him from a crack between the backseat and the front window. The Governor stood on top of a tank while his army of six cars and a tank piled up against the fences to hold her people hostage.

⠀⠀⠀"Rick! Come down here. We need to talk," the Governor shouted.

⠀⠀⠀"It's not up to me!" Rick called back. His voice was faint but still audible through the car doors. "There's a council now! They run this place!"

⠀⠀⠀"Is Hershel on the council?" the Governor asked. He nodded to one of the soldiers, and Hershel was dragged from the car.

⠀⠀⠀"What about Michonne?"

⠀⠀⠀She was led out, too.

⠀⠀⠀"Or even, Bianca?"

⠀⠀⠀Bianca wanted to resist their clawing hands when they came. She imagined herself kicking and screaming, fighting for a way out. But there were other people around her that could face the consequences. So, she let them lead her out. She was walked to the fence line and pushed to her knees beside Michonne.

⠀⠀⠀A pair of soldiers stood on either side of their small line, ready to shoot at will. Across the yard, Bianca could see her people beginning to crowd the fence. They watched with abject horror as the devil returned, just as they all feared. But they didn't expect some of their own to get taken so early.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca looked over the group by the fence. Daryl's expression was set to stone, not allowing himself to feel fear. Carl a step behind him, trying to do the same but worried for his friends. Rick tried to keep himself together as he watched his people be dragged out. Maggie and Beth were terrified of their father being so close to danger and their friends. Sasha, similar to Daryl, ready to shoot and get it over with. Tyreese boiling with rage between this and Karen's death. And lastly, Cal, his face was as white as a sheet. His fingers curled into the chain links, ready to pull them apart to get to her. Daryl's cautious hand rested on his shoulder, telling him to wait.

⠀⠀⠀"They on the council, too?"

⠀⠀⠀"I don't make decisions anymore," Rick denied.

⠀⠀⠀"You're makin' the decisions today, Rick," the Governor corrected him. "Come down here. Let's have that talk."

⠀⠀⠀Rick walked down to the fence separating them from the Governor's people. His expression was distraught as he milled over every option and found none to his liking. Bianca knew there was no way they all made it out of this alive. Rick would never let the Governor take the prison, and the Governor would never walk away without getting what he wanted.

⠀⠀⠀"Let 'em go right now. I'll stay down here. Talk as long as you want. But you let 'em go. You got a tank. You don't need hostages," Rick said.

⠀⠀⠀"I do. This is just to show you I'm serious. Not to blast a hole in our new home," the Governor explained simply. "You and your people, you have till sundown to get out of here, or they die."

⠀⠀⠀"Doesn't have to go down this way."

⠀⠀⠀"I got more people, more firepower," the Governor bit back. "We need this prison. There it is. It's not about the past. It's about right now."

⠀⠀⠀"There are children here. Some of 'em are sick. They won't—They won't survive," Rick pleaded.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca could feel a shift in the Governor's people. A soldier switching legs, a hesitant twitch in someone's gaze, a brewing unease through the whole group.

⠀⠀⠀"I have a tank!" Philip retorted a lilt of laughter in his tone. "And I'm lettin' you walk away from here. What else is there to talk about? I could shoot you all. You'd all shoot back. I know that. But we'll win, and you'll be dead. All of you. Doesn't have to be like that. Like I said." The Governor shrugged. "It's your choice."

⠀⠀⠀Bianca's good ear filled with the sound of snarling walkers and then gunfire. Her eyes screwed shut as she flinched unwillingly. Three rounds dragged through the air but not one of them dead. Just the walkers.

⠀⠀⠀"Noise will only draw more of 'em over," the Governor reminded Rick. "The longer you wait, the harder it'll be for you to get out of here. You got maybe about an hour of sunlight left. I suggest you start packin'. The longer you wait, the harder it's gonna be for you to get out of here."

⠀⠀⠀"We can all—" Rick started, paused, then continued. "We can all live together. There's enough room for all of us."

⠀⠀⠀"More than enough," the Governor agreed. "But I don't think my family would sleep well knowin' that you were under the same roof."

⠀⠀⠀"We'd live in different cell blocks. We'd never have to see each other till we're all ready."

⠀⠀⠀"It could work. You know it could," Hershel agreed.

⠀⠀⠀"It could've. But it can't. Not after Woodbury. Not after Andrea."

⠀⠀⠀"Look, I'm not saying it's gonna be easy. Fact is, it's gonna be a hell of a lot harder than standin' here shootin' at each other. But I don't think we have a choice."

⠀⠀⠀"We don't. You do."

⠀⠀⠀"We're not leaving. You try and force us, we'll fight back. Like you said, the gunshots will just bring more of 'em out. They'll take down the fences. Without the fences, this place is worthless. Now, we can all live in the prison, or none of us can."

⠀⠀⠀The Governor dropped down from the tank with a reverberating thud against the grass. He started to mutter to himself, unintelligible to Bianca's ears, as he moved to stand behind Hershel. He raised Michonne's katana and rested it at his throat. Bianca froze with anxiety, unable to look away from the glimmering metal.

⠀⠀⠀"You. You in the ponytails. Is this what you want?" Rick asked, pointing to someone behind Bianca, then raised his hand in exasperation. "Is this what any of you want?" he asked, his voice breaking.

⠀⠀⠀"What we want is what you got. Period. Time for you to leave, asshole," a man inside the tank snapped, unfazed.

⠀⠀⠀"Look, I fought him before and after we took in his old friends. They've become leaders in what we have here," Rick said, no longer pleading with a lost cause but the people who stood behind him. "Now, you put down your weapons, walk through those gates... you're one of us. We let go of all of it, and nobody dies. Everyone who's alive right now. Everyone who's made it this far. We've all done the worst kinds of things just to stay alive, but we can still come back. We're not too far gone. We get to come back. I know... we all can change."

⠀⠀⠀For a moment, a stupid moment, Bianca thought Rick's speech could work. It worked for her out on the road, why wouldn't it work here? The Governor moved to lay down the katana, and the tension in the air started to shift in their favor, it was all going to work out...

⠀⠀⠀And then, the Governor whispered, "Liar."

⠀⠀⠀With a crack in the air like thunder, the katana struck down with lightning speed and splintered into Hershel's neck. Bianca's eyes widened, and her heart stopped as Hershel slumped over. His head was still attached to his neck, but he was dead. Her heart picked up and began to hammer in her chest. Her breathing became ragged, and she couldn't move, could barely hear what was happening around her. Michonne's face was in hers, she screamed until her face turned purple, but Bianca couldn't make out what she said.

⠀⠀⠀Then, Michonne barreled into her chest and forced them both down. She rolled across the field as bullets fired inches above them from both sides. Bianca hurriedly followed after her. They stopped at the closest car. Michonne attempted to see the rope from her hands with a bent piece of a license plate, but it proved futile. In a last-ditch effort, Michonne tripped an oncoming soldier and suffocated him with her boot. She pried the knife from the dead man's belt. She cut herself free, then Bianca.

⠀⠀⠀"What do we do?" Bianca whispered. She had never felt so much anxiety since the attack on their first camp. She felt blindsided and without knowledge of what to do next. It wasn't like the farm where they just needed to reroute to safety, there was danger all around them and nowhere to run.

⠀⠀⠀The cars around them began to disperse. They ran through the fences, breaking down their defense, and hounded onto the prison.

⠀⠀⠀"We have to—I have to find Cal," Bianca muttered. She stood on shaky legs and traveled toward the prison.

⠀⠀⠀Michonne followed after her without a word. Bianca was unsteady, but her eyes landed on the devil himself in the middle of the battlefield. He sat on top of Rick, his hands wrapped around his until Rick turned a bright red.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca's blood pumped further, not with dread but rage. Her inability to stand right faded as adrenaline coursed through her body, and anger made her who she was. She sprinted down the hill and flung herself into the Governor before he heard her coming.

⠀⠀⠀They tumbled further down the hill until they reached the bottom, and Bianca was now on top of him. Her vision was red, and her hands pinned him by the throat. He wrestled to get the upper hand, shaking them back and forth to find purchase in the swing. Bianca grew frustrated as they started to move. Her teeth found the flesh of his neck mid-turn and sunk deep into the skin. Without warning, she pulled back like a wild animal.

⠀⠀⠀Blood splattered across her face, and the light began to dim in the Governor's eyes. Even close to death, he worked to make her life a living hell. His hands found her neck, and a cruel smile curled at his lips. His final act would be to destroy everything Cal loved.

⠀⠀⠀Then, the tip of a katana rested against Bianca's chest, piercing through the Governor's. His eyes turned cold, and his body moved an inch toward her before he was pulled away. Michonne stood where the Governor had been, her hand held out to her, and Bianca took it.

⠀⠀⠀"Thank you," she whispered, wiping her face of the blood.

⠀⠀⠀Michonne gave her the slightest smile and a soft nod. The prison was eerily quiet, even for a girl with only one good ear, and it seemed the battle was already over.

⠀⠀⠀"Where's Carl?" Rick asked between whistling breaths as he approached.

⠀⠀⠀"I don't know," Michonne said.

⠀⠀⠀Rick moved past them and headed further toward the prison. Bianca followed. She still needed to find Cal. Partway there, Rick tripped over his feet and nearly fell flat on his face. His face was heavily cut, bruises darkening, and it seemed he might've died if Bianca hadn't made it in time.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca stepped beside him and bent down to prop his arm over her shoulders. They walked as they looked over the demolished prison. Walkers filled the empty spaces, and debris slowly fell from the bombed edges. Rick screamed for Carl, but it seemed all hope was lost.

⠀⠀⠀Walkers started to follow them, edging closer and closer until they were each taken down one by one.

⠀⠀⠀Rick left Bianca's hold and started for Carl. The two embraced before Rick could hurt himself again. Bianca returned to his side to help him up.

⠀⠀⠀"Judith. Where is she?" Rick asked desperately, holding his son's face.

⠀⠀⠀"Or Cal?" Bianca asked, her voice breaking.

⠀⠀⠀"I don't know," Carl whispered.

⠀⠀⠀They continued through the prison. Bianca checked every carcass and crevice for either of them, but there was nothing left. Everyone was either dead or gone.

⠀⠀⠀They found Judith's carrier. It was left outside, but they soon realized it was empty as they got closer. The blood smears on the floral fabric didn't leave a good impression on any of them, either.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca's knees shook, and a desperate noise grated up her throat. The last request Lori gave them, a life for Judith, was shattered only a few months into her precious life.

⠀⠀⠀Rick started to sob while Carl tried to hold it together. Neither lasted as a walker appeared, and Cal shot it, not once, but four times. Rick rushed over to his son, holding him close to his chest as Carl released all the pent-up sadness he'd been carrying alone for months.

⠀⠀⠀"We gotta get out of here," Rick said to him, then to Bianca. He frowned, his brows pulled together as his expression told her they had to keep going. "We've got to go."

⠀⠀⠀Bianca looked back at the prison. It was entirely exposed, with smoke and flames appearing inside. The ground was littered with walkers and people alike. Then, she turned back to Rick. His face was red and black from the Governor. Her face was smeared with blood. They'd been through too much just to leave. Rick had tears in his eyes as he immediately regretted what they needed to do.

⠀⠀⠀"We gotta go," Rick said again. He walked over to Bianca, wrapped his arm around her, and then led them out. "It's over. It's over. It's over."

AUTHOR'S NOTE —

This one's a bit of a doozy! Really long but with how I'm splitting these between Bianca and Cal's POV it's how it had to be. Going forward the POVs are going to move between the both of them (how they have been) but go between episodes unlike the show. So Bianca's time with Rick and Carl will coincide with whoever Cal goes with and their episodes. Since I put which episode it is at the top I hope it doesn't get confusing!

Who do you think Cal is going with? I have changed a lot of what happens going forward for Cal so it's not who it was last time ;)

SONG: I Just Wanna Run by The Downtown Fiction

Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment if you'd like, they keep me motivated! However, this is an all kind of reader safe space. So even if you ghost read or comment every chapter, I hope you know it means the world to me that you've come into this fic ♡ I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and until the next one.