SEASON 5, EPISODE 10
them

BETH'S DEMISE HAD PUT a shadow over the group like a star burning too bright and dulling into an ember. They traveled to Virginia to find Noah's family without a peek of a smile or a lift of mood. Noah and some of the others moved out to the neighborhood to see what they could find. Bianca and Cal stayed back. He was in terrible shape. Barely eating or talking, waking up in the middle of the night with bad dreams only to stay up until they were moving again. It was better for him if they kept back.

⠀⠀⠀The group returned with devastating news. Tyreese was dead, bit and bled out. Two of their people were dead in a matter of weeks.

⠀⠀⠀They were out of food, water, and fuel. Out in the woods with barely anything left to them but the clothes on their back. They walked down a winding road with forest on either side of them. Bianca was sweating profusely in the late fall heat. They probably smelled foul, but it had been three weeks of this, and her senses had dulled to any feeling.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca noticed that Beth's death was something similar to Lori's. Cal was within arms' reach of keeping Beth safe, yet the world broke them in two. It would take him time and a full stomach to begin to heal from this heartbreak. Daryl, and especially Maggie and Sasha, included.

⠀⠀⠀Cal let Bianca hold his hand despite the heat and sweat pooling between their skin. He needed comfort, yet this was all she could give him. They needed to keep moving, and sadly, mourning wasn't really on the table for any of them.

⠀⠀⠀Carl and Maggie walked ahead of them, and Bianca's eyes took notice as Carl started to dig around in his bag and then pulled out a lime green box.

⠀⠀⠀"Found this when we were looking for water," Carl explained to Maggie, holding it out for her.

⠀⠀⠀"What is it?" she asked, opening the box to see a motionless pink ballerina inside.

⠀⠀⠀"I think it used to play music. It's broken," he explained.

⠀⠀⠀"Thanks, Carl," Maggie said with a smile. The first one Bianca had seen in weeks.

⠀⠀⠀"I can take a look at it," Bianca said from behind them. The pair turned back to look at her. "See if I can fix it."

⠀⠀⠀"That'd be nice, B," Maggie said with a firm nod. Her eyes glanced towards Cal briefly, but as he bowed his head, she turned back to look at the road ahead.

THEY WOUND DOWN AS clouds began to form rather than break up, creating a gray blanket above. It was like a waiting game of when it'd start to pour. Bianca and Cal fell toward the back of the group. Bianca's ear was keenly turned to the sound of the walkers right behind them but felt, for the time being, they were at a safe enough distance not to worry.

⠀⠀⠀Sasha and Michonne walked toward the back with them. Both quiet. Bianca was confident being in Michonne's proximity was helping Cal to cope. Even if no words were exchanged, just meaningful looks, Bianca and Michonne's presence seemed to perk him up just a little. Color started returning to his cheeks, and he seemed a little more there than before.

⠀⠀⠀Sasha turned to look at the walkers half a mile down the road. Then, she looked at Michonne with a determined expression that spelled trouble.

⠀⠀⠀"We can take 'em," Sasha claimed.

⠀⠀⠀"Rick's right. We barely have anything left. No use in spending it all now," Michonne brushed her off.

⠀⠀⠀"I can take 'em," Sasha repeated.

⠀⠀⠀"Your brother was pissed, too, after what he lost. It made him stupid," Michonne said.

⠀⠀⠀"We are not the same. We never were," Sasha denied.

⠀⠀⠀"But it's still the same," Michonne shrugged.

⠀⠀⠀"I just—I can take them. I'll win," Sasha continued, shaking her head.

⠀⠀⠀"It'll just get you hurt," Bianca sighed, reflecting on her actions from grief. "At least wait until we've eaten to use your energy."

⠀⠀⠀Sasha's mouth curled into a frown, but she didn't argue further. Likely agreeing that getting some food would help keep her stamina up.

THE WALKERS SLOWLY COLLECTED more as time went on, and to cut some of the fat, Rick planned to use the bridge to push the walkers down. They waited by the steep hill's edge, and just as the walkers came into arm's length, sometimes close enough, they'd toss them down or let their uneven footing take care of the rest.

⠀⠀⠀The plan ruptured immediately as Sasha attacked with her knife. No longer able to passively move on, the group was forced to take action and attempt to kill the rest.

⠀⠀⠀"Stop. Just get out of here," Michonne demanded of Sasha, but she kept going.

⠀⠀⠀Sasha was in a dark state; her head only focused on what was ahead of her rather than everything else. Even the walker was about to take a chunk of her shoulder. Bianca took her knife, too weak to swing her hammer, and dispatched the walker for her. Sasha turned back to Bianca for a second before she returned to looking only forward.

⠀⠀⠀"Sasha, you're going to get someone hurt," Bianca hissed.

⠀⠀⠀Sasha didn't stop. There were too many walkers on them, and Bianca didn't have time to babysit Sasha. Instead, she killed a handful of walkers gaining on her before the group had taken the rest out.

⠀⠀⠀"I told you to stop," Michonne hissed down at Sasha, where she lay on the ground.

⠀⠀⠀Sasha stood, her hackles raised, and Bianca feared she would try to physically fight Michonne. She watched warily, ready to put herself between the two women if needed. Then, Sasha's shoulders sagged, and she stormed off.

THERE WAS A SMALL pileup of cars over the hill. It felt like a small blessing after the days of walking and hardly any rest. Hopefully, some supplies would still be left for them to scavenge, even if it was just a bottle of water or a can of food. At this point, the most measly thing would keep them going.

⠀⠀⠀The group dispersed to search the cars. Bianca and Cal went up to a dark blue sedan. The front door was already open, so there was no need to break it open. She smiled faintly, looking through the front seat, glove compartment, and armrest. There was a whole lot of nothing other than paperwork and CDs. She laughed silently to herself as she read over one of the disks.

⠀⠀⠀"What is it?" Cal asked, his voice hoarse. He hadn't talked much in the passing weeks, and his crying likely left his throat sore.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca looked back at Cal, sitting in the backseat, and smiled. She showed him the Fleetwood Mac album only to receive a set of furrowed brows and a confused expression. She sighed, glancing at the album art again.

⠀⠀⠀"Back when I didn't know where you were, I found your car. CDs and papers and shit. The photograph. All these memories that led me back to you. It was a sign something good was coming. This is our sign. Something good is coming," Bianca stated with a grin.

⠀⠀⠀After weeks of misery and despair, Bianca felt something warm in her chest. She knew they were heading toward something better. Not the farm or the prison, but somewhere that would last. At least, she hoped that her gut was right. That their destiny wasn't just endless walking and burning sun. She'd lose her mind if she had to watch Carl try to eat dog food again.

"SO, WE ALL FOUND was booze?" Tara asked.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca looked at Abraham as he slowly but surely downed a bottle of cheap whiskey. She sat beside Cal, tired and hungry, with nothing in her stomach but bile. She felt sick watching Abraham drink as if she were doing it.

⠀⠀⠀"Yeah," Rosita said.

⠀⠀⠀"It's not gonna help," Tara pointed out.

⠀⠀⠀"He knows that," Rosita assured her.

⠀⠀⠀"It's gonna make it worse."

⠀⠀⠀"Yes, it is."

⠀⠀⠀"He's a grown man," Eugene told them. "And I truly do not know if things can get worse."

⠀⠀⠀"They can," Rosita said with a firm frown after a moment.

⠀⠀⠀In the forest, branches cracked as a herd of four dogs approached them with snarling mouths and warning barks. Everyone stayed silent and unmoving. Rick started to stand just as four bullets whizzed through the air, and the dogs were dead in the blink of an eye. Sasha stood on the other end, breathing heavily.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca could feel her heart in her chest as she stared at Sasha. It felt natural that this was what it had come to. Then, Rick stood to his full height and walked toward the tree line. He picked up a branch and snapped it into the right shape, for they finally had something to eat.

IT TOOK ONLY ABOUT a minute for Bianca's initial disgust to flip on its head, and she was feasting. Her stomach growled, and she had to force herself not to gorge. Cal picked at his food, but when Bianca asked him to eat for her, he filled his stomach just enough to get some energy back. Then they started their walk again.

⠀⠀⠀They were a few miles down the road when Daryl split off. He was behind everyone other than Abraham, but Bianca still noticed him. She frowned, weighing how he felt. He needed distance, but Beth was eating him up as well. Maggie had Glenn, Cal had Bianca, but he hadn't had anyone.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca squeezed Cal's hand, grabbing his attention. He looked down at her with hazy blue eyes. They were slowly returning to their normal clarity, but he still looked out of it.

⠀⠀⠀"I'm gonna go check on Daryl," Bianca whispered. Cal looked back to find Daryl but didn't see him. "He slipped off."

⠀⠀⠀"No!" Cal exclaimed softly, a tone of panic in his voice. "We can't split up."

⠀⠀⠀"I'll be okay," Bianca assured him with a small smile.

⠀⠀⠀"I can't—Bianca, please," Cal begged softly.

⠀⠀⠀"Come with me, then," Bianca asked. Daryl wasn't just her friend anymore. He and Cal had become close in their time separated. They protected, cried, and fought for each other.

⠀⠀⠀"I think he wants to be alone," Cal said nervously.

⠀⠀⠀"He needs us."

⠀⠀⠀Cal bit at the skin of his thumb, looking toward the woods, and uncertainly nodded his head. Bianca rubbed her hand up and down his arm to assure him everything was okay, then led him toward the trees. She caught Glenn's eye and nodded toward the woods, mouthing, 'Be back.' Glenn nodded in understanding, and the two slipped into the woods.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca and Cal found Daryl at the base of a tree. A short walk down was a wooden house hidden between the trees. Bianca sat down on Daryl's right side while Cal sat by his left. She noticed Cal's frown deepen and worried this wasn't a smart decision. Daryl didn't look at either of them, just at the house and the trees as they swayed lightly in the breeze.

⠀⠀⠀There was an ash stain on his hand. Bianca wiped it away to reveal the small blister he'd given himself. She wrapped her hand in his and leaned against his shoulder to comfort him. Soft sobs escaped Daryl's lips as he took a moment to mourn. Her eyes rested on the wooden house just down the hill. It looked like a painting from so far away, untouched and beautiful. No family resided in it, no animals stomped on the front grass, it was only meant to be perfect.

⠀⠀⠀"Thank you," Bianca whispered, breaking the silence.

⠀⠀⠀"For what?" Daryl asked, his voice scratchier than usual.

⠀⠀⠀"Keeping Cal safe."

⠀⠀⠀Bianca leaned her head up to look at Cal. He huffed at her comment, but she noticed the tears sliding down his cheeks. She reached over to Daryl to take Cal's hand in her free one. He didn't look at her, but he didn't need to.

⠀⠀⠀"Anything for you, kid," Daryl whispered, rubbing his thumb over the back of her hand.

⠀⠀⠀"It's alright to mourn them," Bianca told them.

⠀⠀⠀"I know."

⠀⠀⠀"It hurts worse if you don't."

⠀⠀⠀The trees swayed in the wind, the house stayed where it was, and the three were silent.

WHEN BIANCA, CAL, AND Daryl returned to the group, a case of water bottles was waiting for them with a note claiming 'from a friend.' They couldn't trust it, though. Not after what they'd been through. Even if Eugene wanted to attempt it, there were no guarantees, and he was their only chance (no matter how much Bianca didn't believe his plight).

⠀⠀⠀Then, the sky turned gray, and rain poured down on them. At first, it felt amazing. Cold water splashed on Bianca's skin, and she even struck her tongue out to wet her dry tongue. Then, she was soaked, clothes and hair sticking to her skin and a chill melting into her bones.

⠀⠀⠀Daryl told Rick about the barn they had sat and stared at for a while. They moved down the valley, cleared the interior, and built a fire pit out of the spare pieces of dry wood they could find.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca and Cal lay in the darkness of the barn later that night. Her hair and clothes were damp now. She laid on her side, chest pressed against Cal's back and arms wrapped around his torso. Her thumb rubbed soothingly over the back of his hand. Her skin met metal, his wedding ring, and she smiled at the thought of calling him her husband. She went back to that day, how much love poured out of both of them, their family surrounding them. And then, that happiness shattered as Bob was left at their front steps.

⠀⠀⠀Tragedy after tragedy occurred in a matter of days, but it felt like an eternity since they stood in the church. Bianca knew Beth's death had hit Cal the hardest. The two had grown close during the aftermath of the prison. He admitted that she had become something akin to a sister. Now, he had lost a fraction of what Maggie did, destroying him.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca worried about him. Cal was strong; he'd endured his own mother for most of his life, but losing so much was starting to wear him thin. She knew he was holding too much inside. Sometimes, when Cal was radiant in love and optimistic about the turn, Bianca could've sworn they were nothing alike. But seeing him in his darkest moment showed Bianca the truth. They were more similar than either realized.

⠀⠀⠀"How are you?" she whispered.

⠀⠀⠀Cal was silent for a moment. His hand in hers stayed relaxed, unfeeling, as he considered what to say.

⠀⠀⠀"Beth's dead," he muttered.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca's eyes flickered to Maggie on the opposite wall of them. She didn't so much as twitch, and Bianca hoped she didn't hear them. Maggie was in enough grief as it was.

⠀⠀⠀"She is," Bianca agreed. What else could she say? She pressed her nose into his back, breathed in his scent, and closed her eyes. "You should talk about it."

⠀⠀⠀"No," he said, heaving a deep sigh. "I can't afford to break right now."

⠀⠀⠀Bianca's brows furrowed at his response. Cal didn't look back at her. She sat up onto her elbow, her hand moving to his arm, and shook him in response.

⠀⠀⠀"Hey," Bianca whispered. His eyes peeled open, and he looked at her from the corner of his eye. "You need to let it out."

⠀⠀⠀Cal nodded but didn't move to say anything else. His eyes fluttered shut, and he readjusted his posture on the floor.

BIANCA COULD SLEEP THROUGH anything back in college. Her mom and dad fighting to her roommate, Elena, watching Gilmore Girls at three in the morning. But after living so long with fear in her veins, even the crack of thunder startled her awake. Her body was half the size of Cal's, so all she could see was the dark shadow of his shirt. She turned her head toward Daryl, where he stood at the shuttering barn doors and paced with his crossbow.

⠀⠀⠀She heard the chain begin to rattle, and the doors shut suddenly. Daryl had been pacing with his crossbow in hand at the barn doors. Bianca snapped her head to look and noticed Daryl pushing the doors shut with all he could. Bianca and Maggie were the first to rise and help him. Then, Sasha, Cal, and the rest.

⠀⠀⠀Over the rain and deafening thunder, they could hear the walkers growling in hunger. The dirt under Bianca's feet was beginning to turn to mud, and she slipped just trying to keep her position. It felt like days, but slowly, the walkers disappeared following the claps of thunder. The rain left a few hours later, and Bianca could finally sleep.

AUTHOR'S NOTE —

Hi, sorry that I keep putting off posting. I'm thinking I need to change my upload date because come Thursday night I'm like "oh, shit, I need to post!" 

This was a weird one. I'm really excited to get to Alexandria because we can finally zoom in on Bianca and Cal. It feels like there's a lot of writing about the group as a whole that I'm ready to get out of.

Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment if you'd like. However, this is an all kind of reader safe space. So even if you ghost read or comment every chapter, I hope you know it means the world to me that you've come into this fic ♡ I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and until the next one.