Itachi stumbled into the kitchen. Things seemed different, the lighting was cold. Perhaps it was overcast. He shivered slightly from the cold air.

He noticed that Shisui was staring at him from a seat at the table - unmoving, just watching him.

"Hey, I thought you'd be on campus by now", Itachi smiled, reaching into a cabinet for a mug by standing on his tip toes.

"This isn't working", Shisui stated blandly.

Itachi looked at Shisui, but fear nestled itself inside his heart, "What isn't working?"

Shisui abruptly stood up, his chair falling over - the sound it made was so loud, "Us. We aren't working." Shisui then made his way to the bedroom.

Itachi was hot in pursuit, "Shisui, what are you talking about?" Itachi asked in thick fear. His heart sped, his palms were sweaty and his body was trembling. He racked his mind, searching for what he might've done wrong.

Shisui pulled a suitcase out of the closet, "It was foolish to think I'd ever be able to forgive you." He began throwing clothes nonchalantly into his suitcase.

"Wait, stop, let's talk about this", Itachi pleaded.

"There's nothing to talk about - I tried, you didn't. End of story", Shisui zipped up the bag. It sounded like tearing flesh in Itachi's ears.

"So you're just going to leave?" Itachi challenged, masking his fear as anger.

Shisui stopped and turned to him, his gaze was as hot as lava, "Look over there and tell me you didn't leave as well." Itachi looked in the direction Shisui motioned.

There was now a couch, and Shisui was on it. But his eyes were hazy and there was a woman sitting on his lap. He was surrounded by empty liquor bottles, his leg twitched and the clanging of the glass bottles was so loud Itachi covered his ears.

"No", was all Itachi could whisper.

Shisui's hazy gaze landed on Itachi, "You did this to me...You left."

The couch vanished and Itachi looked around, Shisui was then holding a suitcase by the front door, "You ruined me." Was Shisui's last words as he walked out the front door.

Itachi's eyes were wide, his breathing was erratic. The front door opened again and his heart sped up. Had Shisui come back? Sasuke now stepped into the dim lighting.

"You did it again", Sasuke's dead voice echoed.

"Did what?" Itachi panicked. What was going on?

"You took another person away from me." A bright orange light shone down on the apartment as if there wasn't a roof.

"I didn't take an-anyone from you", Itachi stumbled. But he knew - in his heart he knew - that he had taken people from Sasuke before.

"You took them", Sasuke pointed behind Itachi.

Itachi's heart was beating so fast he started shaking as he looked behind him. There, his parents stood. Holes in their heads, blood gushing from them, they smiled - blood getting into their teeth - and beckoned for Itachi.

"NO!" Itachi screamed.

"Itachi, wake up! You're dreaming!" Shisui yelled, shaking a screaming, crying Itachi.

Itachi's eyes snapped open and the first thing he saw was Shisui's concerned face. Itachi recoiled so fast that he fell off the bed and scurried into a corner of the room - hugging his knees to his chest. He began sobbing - weeping so loudly.

"Itachi! Calm down!" Shisui shouted in panic.

"Stay away, stay there!" Itachi shrieked as he tried to catch his breath, tears streaming down his eyes like melancholic waterfalls.

Shisui halted his motion, stopping a few feet from the emotional Uchiha, "I'm disgusting. I'm selfish. I'm wicked." Itachi mumbled with wide, blood-shot eyes.

"Don't say that about yourself", Shisui said firmly yet gently.

"It's true - I ruined you. I ran and ruined you and now you're back! What if I do it again?!" Itachi sputtered out in panic and paranoia.

"Itachi, calm down, breath", Shisui urged, not taking another step closer to Itachi despite his body burning to.

"I need to set you free, you need to get away from me - as far as pos-" Itachi began ranting and raving.

"You're not doing this again!" Shisui bellowed.

The bedroom door flung open, Sasuke stared with wide eyes, "What's going on?!"

"Oh, Sasuke!" Itachi screeched between sobs, "I'm so sorry! I took them from you! They're dead because of me!" Itachi buried his face in his hands and wept.

"He had a nightmare and I can't get him to calm down!" Shisui yelled over Itachi's shrieking.

Shisui and Sasuke looked at each other in worry; Sasuke walked over to a sobbing Itachi and pulled him into a hug. Itachi clung onto his brother's shirt, sobbing and mumbling, "Sorry", over and over again.

Sasuke held out an arm for Shisui and he joined in on the hug, they whispered comfort into Itachi's ears. Calming him down, but the oldest Uchiha continued his mumbling of, "Sorry". Eventually he had fallen back asleep in Shisui and Sasuke's arms.

*****

Itachi woke up with a headache, his mind gave him no reprieve from the memories of last night; they attacked him as soon as his eyes opened.

He covered his mouth to withhold a sob, Sasuke saw him like that. Sasuke saw him fall to pieces. How will Sasuke ever forgive him? Itachi looked beside him and Shisui's spot on the bed was empty.

He hasn't left. He didn't leave. He'll be back. Itachi repeated in his mind, trying to keep the fear at bay.

Itachi looked at the alarm clock on the bedside table and noted he had class in eight minutes.

He slowly got out of bed and silently stumbled into the hallway. He entered the kitchen and stopped in his tracks, a rush of relief ran through his veins followed quickly by the freezing, thick rush of fear. Shisui sat at the table, staring at him.

"Sasuke helped me make pancakes...sit and eat", Shisui said softly.

"I have class..." Itachi responded quickly, fearfully.

"You're not going to class today", Shisui said, his voice raising just the slightest.

"But-"

"Itachi, sit and eat!" Shisui snapped.

Itachi's whole body tensed and he walked over to the chair, sitting down slowly and softly - too scared to make a sound. He took a pancake from the stack and poured some syrup over it, keeping his wide, frightened gaze on the pancake.

"Are you afraid of me?" Shisui asked softly.

"No...I'm afraid of what you're going to say..." Itachi whispered honestly.

"You don't need to be...Not if you answer honestly..." Shisui responded softly. Itachi wouldn't see Shisui's leg jumping up and down in anxiousness. Itachi wouldn't feel Shisui's heart beat with worry. The kitchen was silent, Itachi cut a small piece of the pancake and the knife scraped the plate. The sound was so loud in the quiet that Itachi stopped himself from flinching.

"What are you afraid I'm going to say?" Shisui asked, terrified and worried of seeing Itachi so anxious. Shisui's whole body screamed at him to pull the Uchiha to his body and comfort him - but after last night, after Itachi told him not to come closer, he wasn't sure he should.

Itachi put the knife and fork down, he rubbed his hands viciously under the table. His eyes remained fixed on the - now cut - pancake in front of him. Shisui waited - he knew when to push and when not to push Itachi, but he had only ever seen Itachi in this state the night Itachi's parents died. The night Itachi carried Sasuke to Shisui's house.

"That..." Itachi began but stopped. He looked up, his gaze settled on the ceiling. Shisui could tell Itachi was trying to keep his tears in his eyes and it tugged at Shisui's already bruised heart.

"That you're leaving...I'm scared you're going to pack a bag and leave - but I know I deserve it", Itachi spoke so softly, barely a whisper.

"Why would you think you deserve it?" Shisui asked in horror, "Why would you think I would just leave?"

"Because of what I did! Because of what I did to you! Those years of drinking and sex and emptiness - I put you through that!" Itachi's tears were now flowing freely, he was trembling again and his voice was thick with sorrow, despair and horror but his gaze remained on the ceiling.

Shisui was at a loss for words, a stray tear fell down his own cheek. Seeing Itachi like this - it tore him apart. What could he do? He couldn't beat guilt up. He couldn't rush in and save Itachi from whatever guilt he was feeling.

Shisui got up and Itachi buried his face in his hands.

It's happening! It's happening, just like in the dream! Itachi's mind screamed in echoes.

There was a slight rustle on the table, "Itachi look at me", Shisui said gently, "Its okay, look at me."

Itachi slowly lowered his hands. Shisui was pointing at the painting he made the other night of Sasuke, Itachi and himself, "Do you remember what I called this?" Shisui asked softly.

Itachi swallowed the lump in his throat, "You said it was a painting of our family..."

Shisui then pointed at the painting Itachi made, "I don't need to comment on this painting."

Itachi watched silently as Shisui slowly placed his hand on his own chest, over his own heart, "You are my stitches too..." Shisui whispered, "I will never, never, abandon my family", he pointed at his painting again.

Itachi's eyes grew misty again, "But what I di-"

"Itachi", Shisui tempted fate and reached for Itachi's hand. He was relieved when the Uchiha didn't recoil, "Your parents made their own choices. I made my own choices. I am not here because you are keeping me here, I am here because I want to be here, I choose to be here." Shisui softly stroked the back of Itachi's hand with his thumb.

Itachi went silent, pieces clicking back together at the thought of Shisui's words. He stared at the older male, who stared back at him in patience. Shisui smiled gently and Itachi hopped over the table, pouncing on Shisui who's chair fell backwards. They landed with a thud but Shisui shielded Itachi from the floor by pressing him to his chest.

Shisui let loose a chuckle of relief as Itachi clung to him, "Sasuke...saw...me", Itachi balled into Shisui's shirt, soaking it with his tears.

"I already spoke to him, you're free to do the same when he gets back from school", Shisui whispered rubbing Itachi's back soothingly.

Itachi greedily inhaled Shisui's scent, the warm pine smell slowing his heart in comfort. They stayed sprawled on the floor, Itachi's face pressed into Shisui's chest as the older male rubbed Itachi's back.

"I love you", Itachi whispered softly, insecurely. Shisui wouldn't say it back, Itachi knew that. He had said those words before and then smashed Shisui's heart.

"I never stopped loving you", Shisui responded instantly.

A/N: In advance, I'm sorry lol. This was so sad omg - really a depressing chapter. Leave this Icicle a comment to bring a smile to my face *snowflake teardrop* ❤️