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𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐓𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔
THIRTEEN — ( EUPHORIA ! )

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sydneywilson ✨ euphoria premieres tonight  10pm on @hbo who's excited?

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tagged alexademie euphoria

alexademie 💜💖💜💖💜💖💜

username so so excited!!!!!

madelyncline SO EXCITED!! CANNOT WAIT

username LETS GO

username already in love with cassie and maddy from the trailer <33 my babies

madisonbaileybabe YES

hichasestokes hell yeah im excited

username CANT WAIT TO SEE RUE

username look at them 🥺🥺

maudeapatow ❤️❤️

jonathandavissofficial can't wait

drewstarkey can't wait to watch it and hate cassie
↳ sydneywilson stop saying that. ur so annoying
↳ drewstarkey you're the one who told me i wouldn't like her!

username idk who this drew guy is but i ship him and sydney big time. he comments on every single photo she posts. it's so cute

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SYDNEY WAS STANDING IN THE KITCHEN WHEN MADISON BROUGHT UP EUPHORIA, AGAIN. The girls decided to arrange a little watch party for the premiere in their apartment and Sydney wasn't exactly excited for it. "You guys really don't have to watch it. Don't think you have to because I'm in it." She told Madison as she sat on the sofa to put her trainers on. Sydney was going for a run before they all had to be on set to film that morning.

"Stop saying that! We want to watch it." Madison called out to her from the kitchen. Madison had been making coffee for her and for Madelyn, when she woke up. "Doesn't sound like you want to watch it though." Madison added, turning around to look at Sydney.

"Uh....I'm just not a fan of watching my own stuff." Sydney shrugged as she finished tying the laces of her trainers. She then stood up so she could see Madison properly.

Nothing else was said about Euphoria before Sydney went on her run but as soon as she got back to the apartment, Madelyn was practically screaming about how excited she was. And even when the girls got to set, Sydney didn't hear the last of it. Nearly every crew and cast member she passed told her how excited they was and told her they'd be watching the first episode later on that day. And Sydney couldn't lie, it made her feel sick. Firstly, it was a lot of pressure. Everyone was expecting such good things from the show and from her. Secondly, she didn't want everyone seeing it. Not when her scenes weren't exactly PG. It was embarrassing if everyone watched it.

Sydney only had three scenes to film that day, one with Jonathan, a short one with Drew and then one with the group surfing. They were all fairly short so as soon as they were over she went straight back to the apartment to shower and clear her head. Madison and Madelyn had to stay behind to shoot some other scenes so Sydney was alone for a while. After her shower, she had gotten a phone call from her mother who was just as excited as everyone else. Sydney told her about how nervous she was for everyone to see, her mother knew what kind of scenes she had to film, but her mother assured her that it would be okay.

By 9:45pm, everyone was in the girls living room sitting on the sofa. They were all chatting among themselves as they waited for the episode to start. Sydney was in the kitchen on her own, watching all of her friends as she waited for the coffee machine to finish. It had been a long day and she thought it would be rude to fall asleep during the episode. When Sydney was done, she walked back over to the sofa, ready to take her seat back beside Madison.

But before she sat down, she just wanted to warn everyone about the show. It was a lot more intense than everyone thought. "I just wanna warn you guys that there's a lot of graphic scenes in this."

"How graphic? Can't be that bad right." Chase laughed. He thought Sydney was just being dramatic.

"There's just a lot of drugs and violence and nudity through it all. Just want everyone to be aware." Sydney said, pursing her lips. She then took her seat curled up beside Madison.

"Nudity? Not you, I hope." Jonathan laughed, not thinking about what he'd said really. Plus he didn't really expect Sydney not to laugh and avert her eyes away from him. Because he definitely wasn't expecting her to be talking about herself. "Oh. Oh!" The girls shared a look as a few of the boys stifled a laugh. They weren't expecting that. Madison knew there was a reason why Sydney had been acting weird about it and she then understood why. She was worried people would look at her differently because she did something most actresses wouldn't have done. But she admired Sydney for that, Madelyn did too.

"Yeah alright just shut up about it. Just put the episode on." Sydney groaned, trying not to look at anyone as she waited for Madelyn to turn the channel over. No one said another word about what Sydney had implied with her silence to Jonathan's comment as they all decided to just see what she meant during the episode.

The episode started and everyone stopped talking so they could all focus on what was going on. The scene with Mckay and Nate approached when Cassie had her nudes flash up on the screen. And Sydney was sweating like crazy, she was extremely nervous.

She paid close attention to the scene so she knew when to look away. She didn't want to see everyone's faces when her nudes flashed up on the screen. "Oh god, here we go." Sydney closed her eyes as she practically curled up beside Madison. Most of them had seen it coming due to what the characters were saying but they didn't expect the photos to be that revealing. They were actual nudes that Sydney had taken. But none of them were really bothered by it, it was like it didn't even happen. It was too fast and if Sydney hadn't said anything, most of them probably wouldn't have even noticed it was her.

All Sydney could hear when it was over was Madelyn whistling. "You may be embarrassed but you're hot. God damn, Syd." She said, hoping it would make Sydney less embarrassed by it. Sydney couldn't help but blush at her friends comment as she opened her eyes.

"You good?" Madison asked Sydney, nudging her with her elbow.

"For now."

"It's wasn't that bad. It's not like your nudes actually got leaked." Chase shrugged. A lot of actresses did scenes like that, actors too, and it wasn't a big deal. No one thought of them of any less of an actor after. But Sydney didn't think like that.

"He's right. I mean, they were nudes but it was for a show. Completely different." Drew added, wanting Sydney to not feel so worried and embarrassed. Sure it was a little embarrassing to have all of her new friends watch it with her but it wasn't like they were all that bothered by it. And if she was being completely honest, she wasn't bothered about the girls seeing it, and even Rudy. Because it wasn't anything he hadn't seen before even if it was years ago. It was mostly just the other boys. To Sydney, it was just as bad as them walking in on her naked in her trailer or something. It was embarrassing.

"It gets worse. Those were just photos." Sydney said as she leaned forward to grab her coffee off the table to calm her nerves.

As they watched more of the episode, Sydney noticed how everyone seemed to be really into it. No one was glancing at their phones or checking the time. They were all reacting to it, laughing, gasping in shock, like they were really enjoying it. Sydney didn't know why but she didn't expect them to all enjoy it so much. It made her happy.

The scene Sydney was dreading the most was getting closer and closer. But no one seemed to notice how tense she got when it started. And honestly, Sydney didn't even know why she was worrying so much. She just didn't want them thinking of her differently because of what she agreed to do for the show.

Any other tv show would've cropped the scene or let Sydney keep her bra on but Euphoria was different. It was raw and real, it needed to be to show what teenagers actually went through in real life, make you sympathise with them. That's why Sydney agreed to do the show and to have nude scenes. She wanted to portray Cassie as real and raw as she could. That's why Sydney ended up on the bed with her dress bunched you around her waist and her bra on the floor.

"What the fuck, Mckay."

"What did I do?"

"Why would you grab me like that? I couldn't breathe."

"I don't know, I thought you liked that."

"Why the fuck would I like that!"

The scene was over quicker than Sydney expected and it wasn't as bad as she remembered. They'd cut a lot more out than she had filmed.

No one could lie, it was a little awkward watching the scene. Well, not for the girls. But the boys, definitely awkward. "Uhm, well, the acting was amazing. If that makes you feel any better." Austin had spoken up, glancing at Sydney who had her face almost scrunched up in embarrassment.

Sydney forced herself to laugh at Austin's comment. "Yeah, thanks Austin."

"I don't get why you're so embarrassed about this. It wasn't like it was a bad scene or bad acting." Rudy said, glancing at the blonde girl.

"Exactly, you were really good. Don't be embarrassed. It's not like none of us haven't seen boobs before." Madison added, shrugging her shoulders as she started eating from the bowl of popcorn that was between her and Jonathan.

"Yeah but it was me. Now you've all seen them. Isn't the best thing that's ever happened to me." Sydney was almost sulking at this point, why didn't anyone get why she didn't want them seeing the episode.

"What do you think is going to happen? That we're all going to laugh?"

Sydney groaned in frustration. "No.....I'm just worried about what you think of me for doing that. What people are going to think of me. That I was desperate enough for the role that I had to do that scene for it. Most actress don't do scenes like that anymore, it's rare." Sydney shrugged. She didn't know if she was making any sense but it's how she felt. "It just feels weird. I've been feeling weird about it ever since I filmed it. I'm still not sure I should've done it."

"Why?"

"Because my boobs are now going to be all over the internet! No one wants that." She groaned at Chase's stupid question. Why wouldn't she feel weird about it? No one said anything in response to Sydney's comment but a few of them did start laughing. "What? What's so funny?"

"You're overreacting. It's fine. No ones going to say anything bad about you now that you've done this." Madelyn told her but that only then made Sydney laugh.

"You're wrong but okay. I'll stop being embarrassed about it." Sydney rolled her eyes playfully as she say back in her seat to watch the rest of the episode.

When it was over and the tv was turned off, Sydney sat up so she could see everyone. "So none of you think it's weird now that you've seen my...." She trailed off.

"Not at all!" Madison quickly said, shaking her head as she stood up to stretch her legs.

"I don't know, Austin looks pretty freaked out." Sydney laughed, looking over to the other side of the room at Austin, who was still sitting beside Drew.

"Yeah! Because Jules fucked Nate's dad! What the fuck was up with that!" Austin exclaimed making everyone laugh. He was still freaked out by the reveal at the end of the episode.

Everyone had decided to head back to their own apartments after the episode as it was late and they all had early call times the next morning. Jonathan was first out the door, giving Sydney a hug and telling her how great she did in the episode. Austin and Drew were next. "You were amazing, Syd. And stop worrying so much, okay." Drew told her as he embraced her, resting his head on her shoulder. Their hug lasted a little longer than Jonathan's and Austin's, which didn't go unnoticed by Rudy. He saw the way Drew held her. He was still trying to get used to seeing Sydney so close with the boys. It was weird for anyone to see their ex so close with anyone.

Chase and Rudy were the last to leave, Sydney was convinced it had something to do with Madelyn but she wasn't going to question it. Her and Chase had become awfully close in the past week but she was sure it wasn't anything. Rudy didn't know whether he should've given Sydney a hug but seen as all the other boys had, he kind of had no choice but he wasn't complaining. He wrapped his arms around Sydney's waist as hers went around his shoulders. "Proud of you." He's whispered in her ear so the girls didn't hear, taking Sydney by surprise but she smiled anyway. It was nice to hear that from Rudy. He remembered clearly how stressed Sydney had been all through the auditions for Euphoria and how excited she actually was when she got the role. Rudy was so happy for her and so proud of her when she'd called him to tell him she got it. He remembered it as clear as day.

"Thank you." Sydney had whispered back as she gave him a quick squeeze before letting him go. Chase had watched their whole interaction, watching Rudy whisper something in her ear, he hadn't heard what, and he knew then something was up. He was suspicious, more so than he had been before. Chase knew something was up, he just had to figure out what.

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AUTHORS NOTE
i hate this chapter so much you don't understand but it's what you guys wanted so here you go!!!!!! and i'm so sorry it took me so long to write and publish. i genuinely rewrote this like 5 times

i added a little rudy and sydney interaction in the end to make sure the chapter wasn't too boring and too shit but idk i still don't like it
so just gonna publish it and forget about it
move on and get into the story more

u guys have no idea how excited i am though to write sydney and drew's friendship 😌😌😌
it's gonna be good

and idk how to explain how i was describing rudy's feelings to sydney and drew hugging
like he's jealous but not at the same time
like he doesn't still have feelings for sydney but he didn't like seeing her so cozy and friendly with drew so that might be an issue in the future.....we shall see

anyways hope you guys kinda enjoyed this chapter at least. don't forget to vote and comment and i will try to update again soon!

also cassie deserves better than mckay. that is all