Hi fam! Surprised?

Yes, a very early update.

Why? Because this book is in for #Wattys2019 and I'm super happy.

I love all of you so much.

Happy Reading! Please comment more if you'd like early updates. Inline comments would be amazing.

✿ ✿ ✿

Nandini

It must be three hours later when I was actually able to get up and sit on my bed without muffling in pain. The pain killers had finally kicked in and I was able to remember a few things.

My name is Nandini Murthy.

I live in Folks with my mother who is my only family.

I had an accident which led me here.

My mother died.

I have a best friend, Aliya. She has a boyfriend, Manik.

I have another very good friend who is actually my cousin, Cabir. Cabir is Manik's bestfriend.

I am eighteen, and I just completed twelfth grade.

I have a father too. He left us ten years ago to be with another woman.

I stressed onto remembering more but my head spinned. As I looked around the white hospital room, I felt I couldn't alter the light entering into my eyes, as if I'd been left in the darkness for too long. I couldn't remember anything of being brought to the hospital, or even the accident. All I remembered was sleeping in the car beside my mother and waking up in this hospital bed.

"The vitals are stable," a lady doctor said, smiling sadly as she kept the file and helped me drink water. "We can now send your family inside to meet you. Whom would you like to meet first?"

"My mom," I replied, dazed. Tears brimmed in my eyes. No one had told me that Mom didn't make it yet. But I knew. There was something inside me that told she was gone, she wasn't here anymore.

"It isn't my duty to break this news to you, but since I made out you don't have good relations with your father, it is perhaps best I tell you. I'm sorry sweetheart, I tried my best. I-- I-- I didn't want her to go.," she sat beside me, slightly keeping her hand on mine. I nodded staring at the window, trying to be brave.

"Can you-- Could you tell me what went wrong? How...?" I asked slowly. She nodded.

"She was out of danger. We just had one operation to confirm that, and it went okay too. But after it got over, I was coming out to tell you this, and all of a sudden.. her vitals fell. All her organs started failing one by one until her heart did too. Before we could do much, she gave up," she sighed sympathetically, "I'm sorry."

"Did it-- Was it painful?" I asked slowly.

"I don't think so, love. It happened quick, all within a couple of minutes," she said and I nodded, giving her a small smile. "That's the last thing I could wish for, for her. I hope she went in peace."

She got up to leave when I called her, "Dr. Stella?"

She turned surprised, "How do you know my name? Do you have any memory of when you were in coma?" She said hopefully.

"No," I said slowly, "but thank you."

She nodded back with a smile before leaving. It had been a quiet minute of me grieving my mom's death when Dad entered the room. He was the last person I wanted to see on this planet. I could briefly remember how much I hated him but all the vengeance died after the accident. I felt different, towards him and towards myself. All the anger died inside, and maybe it was the pain of losing my mother that overcomed every other emotion.

"Nandini?" He said softly sitting on the chair beside my bed and I was forced to open my eyes and look at his face.

"Why are you here?" I asked simply. Although the anger was lost, the dislike wasn't. I hated him. I hated that I ever called this man my mother.

"I know you're angry...." he whispered.

"Anger?" I almost laughed, "We're way past that," my eyes became staunch and my voice shrewd, "It's hatred, Mr. Murthy. My mom couldn't hate you. But I do."

"Your Mom. Claire--" his voice faded when I shouted on the top of my voice.

"Don't take her name!" I shouted. "You don't deserve to be here. Go! Go away." I held my head that spinned with both hands and monitors beeped loudly.

A team of doctors or nurses ran inside, dragging my Dad out, making him understand it's for the best.

As the room door closed, I covered my face with my hands. Everything was different. Nothing was ever going to be the same again.

I felt in drowning in my tears, but nothing was coming out. I just wanted to see a familiar face, a person I could hug and cry with and call my family.

I was desperate to be loved. I felt tired. I felt exhausted of everything around me and a small voice in me told me that this had only just started.

The door opened and closed again. I opened my tired eyes to see Aliya walking in.

"I thought a familiar face would be better," she smiled sitting next to me as I slumped ahead, taking her in a hug. My ribs ached and I felt like screaming as the stretch gave me so much pain but the feel of finally finding comfort overcame all the physical pain.

"I'm here," she said patting my head as the first tear drop slipped off my eye. "Mom...." I sobbed. I heard her sniff too.

"I'm here" She repeated as I cried my heart out and she did too. "I'm still there and I'm glad you stayed," she whispered and I didn't understand it at all.

Why did I stay?

Why didn't I die instead?

✿ ✿

I fell asleep shortly as the medicines took over. The next morning, I woke up feeling much better. It had been more than twelve hours since I was asleep now, and I felt mentally much better now. I was calm.

Part of that was because I saw someone I could call family. I met Cabir, my Aunt and Aliya. And the other part of my calmness was because I had accepted. I had accepted my mother's death. I had accepted my father's sudden entry into my life. I had accepted whatever fate had thrown towards me.

I looked around the hospital room which was filled with flowers. Flowers of all types- from royal red roses to lovely white daisies. Folks was a small town which meant everyone knew almost everyone. The word of my accident had travelled quickly, and flowers and get will soon letters had started flowing in from people I didn't even know much.

"Good Morning," a small voice broke my staring session as I looked up to see an unfamiliar face, yet my heart warmed up to a familiar feeling.

"Manik Malhotra," I smiled as he came in, "Its surprising... seeing you here."

"I know. But even more surprisingly, I have been in here ever since you, you know-- came here," his voice faded and I nodded.

"But I didn't see you last night when I woke up?" I asked.

"Right. The doctors said it would be good if you see someone familiar and someone you would want around you, since you were in still in shock of what had happened," he said and I nodded again.

We stared at each other awkwardly for a moment before he smiled, handing me a Get Well Soon card with a large bar of my favourite chocolate. "I'm sorry I didn't get you flowers. I thought you might be sick of seeing so many around," he said and I almost giggled.

"For a fact, I am," I said, looking around flowers and bouquets covering most of the room, "This feels more like a graveyard to me then a hospital room. Looking at all those flowers make me feel dead. And moreover, I'm not a fan of flowers because.....," my voice trailed.

"Flowers wither. I know," he gave a warm smile and I looked at him, surprised. "I read this in your diary when you were asleep and Aliya wanted me to read something of you because the doctors said you were here and listening, so...." he said.

Aliya. The only person that binds us together. He was here because I was Aliya's best friend. And because I was Cabir's sister. He was so sweet and gentle that it was hard to remind my heart the reality, that I and him were no one. Not even friends.

"Flowers are beautiful. Why are you not fond of them?" He asked, intrigued. I wondered if he read that in my diary too.

"Flowers give fragrance even to the hands that crush and kill them," I smile. He squeezed his eyebrows at me, "Isn't that supposed to be a good thing?"

"Not to me," I reply, "I hate the selflessness some people have. They allow the world to use them, to crush them, to kill all the good inside them. My mother did. And she paid for that. Heavily."

He stared at me for a moment, blank as a sheet of empty paper and then sighs, "I'm sorry for your loss. I just want to tell, you're really strong. You've been through a lot and I-- I admire you for that. You're a warrior."

His words made me smile. "I try," I giggle.

"And you succeed," he stares at my face with an unfathomable expression. "And that's amazing. Your smile's lovely, Nandini. It's good seeing you, up and... alive."

I smile even more, covering the pain raging in my heart. "Is it though?" I say, "I wonder why I survived this. It would have been so much better to just go. I have nothing in this world anymore, you know. And I don't want to find another reasons to live. I don't want to go back to my father, to my old life because nothing will be the same again. Everything's different, I can feel that. And... I just didn't want to be here."

He stared at me, yet again. This time, I feel his eyes darken and an emotion lingering behind them. He runs his hand through his hair and then his chin.

"You would have preferred to be dead?" He asks.

"I think," I reply.

"But life...," he sighs in frustration, "Its beautiful around you. There are things you're yet to do. You have to study, be something, travel the world, fall in love, have your own family, achieve your dreams and goals. You would have left all this behind?"

"Yeah, all of that's beautiful. But you know, I already lost my Dreams when I lost my father. And I think I lost the hope to achieve my goals with my mother. I'm going to be pushed to live with my father in New York, with the lady for whom he betrayed my mom. Right a few days after her death, I'm going to have a step mother. They're never going to be my family. I'd live as a liability with their family until I earn and get away. And I have to live every night of my life trying to forget how my Mom died in front of my eyes. I have no one to turn to. Sure, I have Aliya and Cabir, but ultimately they have their lives too. I'm alone and there's a long way I have to fight. Death would have been a good escape from the hell I'm entering into," I sigh. I pondered upon this a hundred times since I've woken up to the time that this doesn't even affect me anymore. I'm neutral to the hell waiting for me.

"Maybe it's not going to be hell. Maybe there's a reason you're alive, and it's just time until you find out why. You hadn't completed anything you've wanted Nandini, and your life's given you another chance to. Don't lose that. Don't give up, please," he almost begged.

"I'll try," I smile, trying to hide the chaos raging in my heart.

"And I know you will win," he said, "'Cos that's what you've always done."

"You think very highly of me, Manik," I was surprised.

"You've never given me a reason not to," he raised his eyebrows, his eyes meeting mine, and a gorgeous smile on his face.

"Take care," he said, "I'll visit soon."

"You will?" I ask, shocked as he got up. He nodded, "Of course, you're my friend now. I was there for twenty four hours watching you sleep, which mind you, is more than anything I have ever done for even Cabir. Of course I'll come again."

I laughed.

He stared at my smile for a little longer, as if there was some internal war in his own mind that he wasn't being able to win and my smile was his only way out. He stared at it as if it was shelter to a homeless man, his eyes lighting up and showing the hazel in his brown that made my heart stir the way it used to in high school.

"And oh, Nandini," he said, turning around to face me again, "Flowers might wither. People might crush them, tear them from their roots. But you know what's beautiful about them? They still grow back. And they plant themselves firmer, look more beautiful, and are stronger. Where flowers bloom, so does hope."

I opened my mouth to say something but it remained shut, staring at him at the door.

"And for all I know, you're the kind of flower that can grow back even after a wild forest fire."

Flowers do not bloom without a little rain,
Everything has its purpose, even pain.

✿ ✿ ✿

Questions:-

1. Liked the update?

2. Nandini wants to die :(

3. Few words on Manik & Nandini's new bond?

4. Fav part of the chapter?

5. Do you think Nandini is right in hating her father?

6. What do you think is the emotion that Manik is trying to hide?

7. Rate the chapter on 10?

8. Is there anything you'd like to see ahead in particular?

✿ ✿ ✿

Please Vote, Comment & Share. Your love means so much to me.

Thank you! Love, love & love.

~Heer. x