Chapter forty-four: Anger, Truth, and Promises

O L I V I A

It was a miracle that I didn't crash into someone else as I drove to Kai's. Multiple times my vision blurred so much that I couldn't see the road ahead of me. The tears were relentless. I probably should've taken a cab. I slid into the parking space in the basement of his building after the guard gave me a welcoming smile and let me in. I lay my forehead against the steering wheel for a moment and attempted to calm myself down.

Fail. Epic fail.

I gave up, pulling the keys out of the ignition. Seeing Kai's car already there, I climbed out of mine and locked it, making my way into the waiting elevator.

The doors opened and I stepped out on his floor. I rang the bell and waited. When he didn't open it, I rang the bell again. I wanted to ring his phone to get him to let me in but I had left mine at my place in a hurry.

A lightbulb went off in my head.

I pulled out my keys from my pocket and selected the ornate one. I unlocked the door and let myself in.

"Kaison!" I shouted. I might've broken in, but I couldn't bring myself to barge anywhere else. I felt afraid. My gut was twisting rebelliously and my pulse was definitely off the charts.

He came out of his room, his eyes wide with surprise and his eyebrows melding with his hairline.

"Who th- Livvy?"

I picked up the throw pillow from the sofa and launched it at him impulsively. It hit him in his face and he gaped in surprise. Not satisfied, I grabbed another one, and then another.

"Livvy," he protested.

He walked to me when he got over the shock. I didn't stop my assault, finding new things to hit him with. He didn't attack back. He just defended himself. When he was close enough, he grabbed my wrists to stop me. I trashed in his hold, my throat closing up.

"Let me go!" I choked out. Seeing my distress, he let go. I started hitting him with my hands but he didn't stop me. He just looked down at me with moist eyes. "How could you?!"

Understanding dawned on his face. "You know?"

"You idiot! Who gave you the fucking right?" I shouted, tackling him into a hug, unable to help myself. A sob escaped me as his arms wrapped around me and squeezed me tightly. "I hate you!"

"I'm sorry," he whispered into my hair. "I'm so, so sorry."

"Why the fuck wouldn't you tell me?" I cried. "I would've understood, Kai. I would've stayed. Why-" I choked again.

"Fuck. I'm so sorry," he murmured.

"Shut the fuck up!" I pulled back. "You are an idiot."

His lips twitched. I wanted to slap the smile off his face. "I am," he agreed.

"You are a moron." My voice cracked.

"Yes," he consented.

"And I hate you."

"I love you, too." He kissed my nose. I closed my eyes to prolong the moment.

"You didn't kiss her, did you?" I asked him even though at this point I knew for sure.

"No," he replied.

"And you didn't mean to cheat at that party," I asked. "You were drunk and gullible."

"Yes," he confirmed.

"Oh, Kai." I shook my head. "Why wouldn't you tell me?"

He gave me a sad look. "I wanted you to trust me."

"Are you crazy?" I resisted another urge to slap him, suddenly overcome with irritation. I didn't let go of him, though. Close wasn't close enough that day. "I've always trusted you!"

"But that trust broke when I kissed her," he lamented. "I didn't want you to doubt me every moment. I felt like I ruined what I had with you so I decided to let you go with a clean break. We were going off to college. It would be a fresh start.

"When I saw you at the reunion and realized that you hadn't moved on either, I thought maybe we could start anew. We both had had time to heal. But I kept messing up my second chance. I thought every bit of trust I had gained, I lost when you called me after seeing the picture of Chelsea kissing me."

"All you had to do was say you didn't cheat on me," I told him, "And I would've believed you."

"That thought was too good to be true," he answered. "And it felt unfair of me to expect that from you."

"What part of 'I love you' do you not understand, Kaison?" I asked him. "Tell me."

"That you love me still. Despite everything," he murmured, touching his forehead to mine. He closed his eyes. Our breaths mingled and it felt so natural.

"It is rather stupid of me," I mused. "Maybe I should stop."

His hold on me tightened to the point it was difficult to breathe. I felt his panic rise and his pulse pick up against my chest.

"Hey," I said softly, feeling bad. I ran a hand through his hair. "I was kidding."

"Please don't ever joke about it again," he whispered. "I need you, Livvy."

"Sorry." I kissed his shoulder. "And for the record, I need you to. Always have. Always will."

"Don't be sorry," he sighed. "I deserved it."

"You never did," I denied.

He hesitated. "Who told you?"

"Josh," I replied. He pulled back to look at me.

"He did?" He asked, surprised.

"Yeah. Turns out, everyone but me knew," I said accusingly.

"Yeah," he had the decency to look sheepish, "I really wanted to do this the right way."

"Boys will always be stupid." I rolled my eyes. I was feeling lighter than I had in a long while. "No exceptions whatsoever. It's the Y-chromosome."

He chuckled. His eyes wrinkled around the corners and I noticed the dark circles he bore, too.

"Kai?" I cupped his face. "When was the last time you slept the night?"

"I-" he paused, frowning. "I don't remember."

I gave him a disapproving look. "Kaison."

"Oh, don't start." He rolled his eyes. "Have you looked at yourself? That concealer isn't fooling anyone."

The deja vu is real.

"Hey." I pouted, remembering Josh saying the exact same thing.

He changed the topic. "Did you eat?"

"No," I replied. "But I'm not hungry at all."

"Me neither," he responded. "Want to read something?"

"Yeah," I smiled, "I'd like that."

"Stay over," he said pleadingly.

"But-"

"It's a Sunday tomorrow and we both can use the sleep," he begged.

"Good point," I exhaled. "But I want your hoodie."

"Done." He kissed me softly. It felt as familiar as breathing and as if I hadn't kissed him in forever at the same time.

"I have something for you," he said when we pulled back for air.

"Umhmm?"

"Yeah. Just give me a minute." He stepped back. I wanted to protest but he gave me a reassuring smile. "Trust me."

I reluctantly plopped down onto the sofa and put my head in my hands as I used that time to process. I was reeling.

That was a lot.

I didn't have time to think much. I heard him walk back in and looked up. He had his hand behind his back. I watched him as he came to me and kneeled down on both knees in front of me to match our eye level. Well, so that I wouldn't have to strain my neck too much. He was still taller.

He brought his hands forward and the air in my lungs swished out. It was a jewelry box.

"Relax," he chuckled. "I'm not proposing. Yet."

I swallowed, my breathing irregular. My heart wildly rattled in my ribcage. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." He opened it. The familiar ring inside it made me gasp. I looked at him in disbelief and he nodded.

"Really?" I whispered, tentatively touching the band.

He nodded. "Really."

My eyes teared up again. "How?"

"Samantha," he explained in just one word.

That explained how the ring had seemed to disappear into oblivion.

"Oh, my God!" I chuckled breathily. "That bitch! I can't believe this."

It was the promise ring I lost. I still remembered searching for it for hours. I remembered the hysteria that had seized me and the regret that had clawed at me when I had realized I had lost it.

"May I?" He asked me.

"Are you kidding?" I chuckled breathily. "Yes!"

He plucked the ring out of its cushion and gently slid it on my finger. It rested there like it was never gone.

"I promise to never give up on us again." He placed a kiss on the back of my hands. "I will never let you go again. No matter what, I promise to love you forever."

"I promise to love you forever, too." I laughed through my tears. "God, I love you so much!"

I grabbed his face and smashed my lips to his. He responded immediately, his lips molding with mine perfectly. Quickly getting frustrated, we both stood up, trying to find the perfect angle. He turned us around and slowly sank into the sofa, pulling me on top of him so that I was straddling him. His mouth opened, giving me the chance to lead and I took full advantage of the opportunity, exploring and tasting him.

It probably would've escalated and led to something really nice, but of course, the bloody phone had to interrupt us.

"Ignore it," Kai muttered against my lips. I agreed. It had been ringing a lot during crucial moments in my life recently. But when it rang again as soon as it stopped, we groaned in unison. "Sorry."

"Just make it quick," I responded, grabbing it from the table behind me and handing it to him. He nodded, glancing at the caller ID.

"It's Samantha," he told me.

I frowned. "Answer it."

"Hey," he spoke, putting the phone on speaker.

"Kaison?" Sam's panicked voice came. "Liv is not picking up the phone. Is she there?" 

"I'm okay," I said, "Deep breaths, Sam."

"Olivia! Thank God!"

"See, I told you she is fine. Try to relax, baby," we heard Josh placate her. Kai and I exchanged a look, smiling.

"Why the fuck wouldn't you answer my calls?" She demanded angrily. "Do you have any idea how worried I was? With the state you left the apartment in, I thought you'd crashed or something!"

Pregnancy is making her pessimistic.

"I'm sorry," I apologized. That was probably the millionth sorry of the day. "I didn't answer because I didn't have my phone on me."

An epiphanic silence echoed from the other side and Kaison visibly stifled a chuckle.

"That- that makes sense." Sam cleared her throat. "I apologize."

"Shut up." I laughed. "It's no problem. I should've been mindful enough to keep it."

"Won't argue with that," she smarted, recovering quickly. "I'm guessing you guys made up."

Kai smiled. "Yeah."

"I bet he's giving you the heart eyes right now," she said. "And we probably just interrupted a make-out sesh that would've most probably given me a niece or a nephew."

We laughed at the accuracy of her prediction. I felt a little embarrassed, but Kai hugged me and kissed my temple lovingly. The feeling disappeared as soon as it had come.

"Well," she said. I could hear the smirk in her voice. "We'll leave you guys to it. Buh-bye, love birds!"

"Bye," we chorused, hanging up.

"She knows us too well," Kai remarked.

I shrugged. "She did play our cupid."

"She did," he said. I yawned against his neck. "Let's skip reading tonight, hun?"

"That will be best," I agreed eagerly. "I really want to just sleep."

He laughed when I didn't budge. " . . . you might wanna move if you want to get to bed."

"Put those bench presses to use and carry me there," I muttered. "I'm tired."

His chest rumbled with his chuckles. "Alright, princess."

He slid his hands under my thighs and got up. I locked my ankles around his waist.

"Too heavy?" I asked.

"Nope," he replied. "It's perfect."

"Right answer," I mumbled appreciatively. He chuckled again.

"Which hoodie would you like?" He asked me, gently setting me down on the bed.

"The black one," I responded, yawning again. He brought me his hoodie and I changed into it, ditching my jeans. The hoodie was big enough to be a dress.

He discarded his shirt in the hamper and switched off the lights, getting in beside me. We pulled the covers over us and snuggled close, tangling our limbs together. It was a habit we never forgot.

"We still have to talk, you know?" I said reluctantly.

He sighed. "I know." 

"It's not over yet . . . " I trailed off. "We need to sort a lot of things out."

"We do." He swallowed. "But we're on a high right now."

I gulped. "I know."

"Tomorrow," he promised. "Everything will be okay."

"Tomorrow," I exhaled. "Do you think we can make it, Kai?"

"I hope we can," he whispered.

Me too.

"Sleep." He kissed my forehead. "Good night, mon amour." 

I kissed his shoulder, trying to relax. "Good night."

We will be alright.

Right?

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A/N: A double update because I feel guilty for not updating according to the schedule I promised. Ending it with a cliffhanger of sorts ig😂

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