Chapter ten: Caving In

O L I V I A

I walked to the beach where they had decided to hold lunch, mentally tired. I hadn't been able to sleep so I had just drawn the curtains, ordered light breakfast, some popcorn, and watched a movie. My headache hadn't ceased but it had subsided to a dull throb. My luck, I had also gotten on my period. That would explain why I was losing my shit in what felt like every two minutes.

"Hey." Carter approached me.

"Hi." I smiled tiredly.

"Hungry?" He asked.

"Not really," I replied, taking a seat at the table.

He sighed, seating himself next to me. "Well, I am."

"How hungover were you this morning?" I inquired in amusement. He looked miserable.

"You wouldn't believe." He shuddered. "My head is still hurting like a motherfucker."

"Poor baby," I cooed sarcastically, mussing up his hair. He gave me a small scowl, pulling his chair closer to mine and resting his head on my shoulder. I jerked him away with a glare.

"Carter," I warned.

"Love, c'mon," he whined.

"I'm hungover, too," I told him. "I won't be responsible for the wine that I see going down your shirt if you push me."

"Please," he beseeched. "I'm fucking tired, baby."

I glared harder. "I'm not your baby."

He smirked. "You were once."

"Keyword: once," I emphasized.

"Well, what can happen once can happen twice," he simpered.

"You remember how I made headlines for dumping trash on someone? Yeah, I can do it again."

"You wouldn't," he scoffed.

"That wine is within reach, Cart," I smiled sweetly. "I've heard it's almost impossible to get those red stains off your clothes. And will you look at that? You're wearing white! How convenient."

He grimaced. "I hate you."

"The feeling is mutual," I assured him, losing the smile. "Now shut your trap."

"Now that must be a long time coming," Griffin commented with a laugh, seating himself next to me. "But why exactly would you ask him to shut his trap?"

"Nothing special," I said, eyeing Carter and his drooping head.

"She won't be my pillow," Carter mumbled, resting his forehead on the table.

Idiot.

"Won't she?" Griffin raised an eyebrow.

"It's unfair, right? We dated for ten months!" Carter complained. I stifled a laugh.

"Seven," I corrected.

"I still can't believe you dated that douchebag," Griffin muttered. "He's so not your type. Or anyone's, for that matter."

"Leave it be. He's hungover," I whispered back. "And I know he's not boyfriend material, but he's a good friend."

Griff rolled his eyes. "That's the only reason he doesn't have a black eye right now."

"It doesn't look like it, but this table is hard!" Carter whined.

I chuckled. I caught some movement from the corner of my eyes and I paused.

"Sam's here," I said softly. "And she's here with, what do you know, Kaison."

"She's hiding something and I don't like it," Griffin said.

"Me neither," I responded distractedly. I saw them making their way over so I changed the topic. "Whatever. How's George?"

"He's well. He called this morning. He missed us. Mostly me."

"Of course." I chuckled. "That would explain why he talks to me via text so much," I teased. To his credit, Griffin managed a neutral response at that.

"Hey, guys!" Kaison and Sam nodded as they slipped into their seats opposite Griffin and I. "Is he alive?" Sam asked, bobbing her head towards Carter.

"As alive as could be," I answered, pushing his head and watching as it readily rolled to the side. His eyes were closed. I patted his cheeks. "Right, Carter?"

He squinted at me. "Be my pillow."

I laughed, entertained by his petulant tone. "No."

"Liv," he huffed.

"Um-hmm," I hummed as the servers came with our food. He didn't say anything till they had served and gone away.

"My head hurts," he said.

"Take some Advil," I told him.

"I already have."

"Then drink water."

"Done."

"Puke."

" . . . done."

Griffin chuckled.

"Go to the kitchen and get yourself some hangover cure," I chuckled as well.

"That tastes horrible." He shuddered. "No way."

"Too bad." Griff and I fist-bumped with a laugh.

"I see you're feeling better," Kai said after a beat.

"Umm yeah," I returned.

"You look well-rested," Sam added with a smile.

I smiled back stiffly. "Thanks."

"On the contrary, she looks like she hasn't slept," Kai denied. "Have you?"

I paused for a second before I resumed eating.

"I slept enough," I said quietly.

"Right." He gave me a look that clearly said that he didn't believe what I'd said.

"Where's Josh?" I asked in an attempt to change the topic. His face closed off.

"Around," he answered dismissively. Intriguing.

"Isn't he supposed to be your best friend?" I asked, curious after his response.

"Liv, can you pass me the salt?" Sam asked.

"In a second," I told her without sparing her a glance, waiting for his reply.

"Whatever," he said when he noted that I wasn't budging.

"Actually, come to think of it, I haven't seen you guys together since you've come here," I mused.

He grinned half-heartedly. "So you have been paying attention to me?"

"Don't put words in my mouth," I said, more sharply than intended.

"I'm not. I'm analyzing your words and reading between the lines. Girls love that, no?"

"Pretty sure you'll fail spectacularly when she actually wants you to do that," I smirked.

"Right," he scoffed.

"Trust me," I rolled my eyes, "That Y-chromosome never disappoints."

"You of all people should know that I'm not like that."

"Um-hmm." That shut me up.

My eyes fell on the salt container in front of me and I remembered. I picked it up and held it out to Samantha. She blinked in what looked like confusion.

"You asked for this," I reminded her.

"Oh, right. Thanks." She chuckled, an underlying nervousness to her tone making me suspicious. She took it from me and placed it in front of herself. I raised a questioning eyebrow.

She shrugged almost sheepishly. "I don't need it anymore."

* * * * *

Lena and Caine had decided to take it slow for the day. We had no plans except for another bonfire at night and spending the day at the beach.

And that would explain why I was standing on the beach in a bikini that I didn't own. Mine didn't qualify as sexy enough to be worn, according to Sam. By not being sexy enough, I mean that mine had more fabric and that I was comfortable in it.

I am so not removing my cover-up.

I had debated not going to the beach altogether to avoid awkward exchanges in relevance to water bodies and periods. But then Sam had convinced me to come. More like threatened, and I did not want to get dragged around like a rag doll. God knew she was capable. She wanted me to have fun, not miss out on anything and wear that frivolous bikini that made me want to roll over and die.

She was lucky I loved her. And was well aware of what harm she was capable of inflicting.

I sat down on one of the beach chairs, waiting for Griffin and Sam to show up. Yeah, she made me come but hadn't taken the pains to join me on time. A dull jab throbbed in my lower abdomen and I groaned. Urgh. The cramps were starting, too. How nice.

"Hey, is that seat taken?" Someone spoke. I looked up.

"Hi." I smiled in greeting. "It's not. By all means, go ahead."

"Liv, right?" She asked.

"Yeah," I affirmed. "And you're Maya, Georgia's girlfriend?"

"Yeah!" She nodded, seeming pleased to see I remembered. "We met the night of the bonfire."

And then danced together senselessly last night. But maybe alcohol stole that memory.

"How's Georgia?"

"She's awesome," she beamed. "But I'm assuming that was not what you were asking. She's doing well," she said, dialing it down.

"No problem." I chuckled. "I know she's wonderful. We were on the cheer team together."

"Ohhh," her eyes lit up with recognition, "You're the cheer captain."

I didn't know what to make of the emphasis.

I laughed. "I am."

"I haven't seen you around a lot," she noted.

"I'm not keeping well," I replied.

"Ohh, that makes sense. They talk a lot about you. Seems like they miss you." She bobbed her head in the direction of the beach where they were already talking in groups.

"I hope whatever you've heard isn't too bad." I smiled.

She laughed softly. "Actually, they speak highly of you."

"Sure." I rolled my eyes, crossing my legs and resting my elbows on my knees while my hands held my chin. "And I am sure they told you how I met Queen Elizabeth once."

She snorted. "That's new," she assured me. She grabbed her sunscreen and squeezed out a generous amount in her palm.

"Believe it or not, they like you."

I glanced at the beach where they were gathering near the volleyball net. Two people stood out as team captains by the way the others crowded a circle around them. I had once belonged there. I had had to carve out a place for myself, but I had belonged nonetheless. Looking at them now, I wasn't sure anymore.

I smiled wistfully. "I love them, too." Even if I don't belong anymore.

"You should come out and play with us then," she said while spreading the white substance on every inch of exposed skin she would find. Which was a lot, by the way. "They'll be pumped."

"That game is definitely going to involve water," I told her regretfully. "I can't risk it."

Her eyes lit up with realization. "You're on your period?"

"Yeah," I sighed. "Great timing, eh?"

"It sucks," she agreed.

I tried to reign in my curiosity but failed miserably. "What do they say about me?"

She smiled knowingly.

"You are really sweet and never push anyone around. You had a long-term boyfriend and you broke up with him for some reason no one seems to know and you still interact decently with him - kinda. You've never shown anyone down. You've always been supportive. Someone even said that you were the glue that held the group together."

My eyes widened in astonishment. That's what they said about me? No gossip about my mental breakdown the first time Kai and I had had a fight? No one called me crazy for being down because Kai had forgotten about asking me to Homecoming in Junior year until like two days before the said dance? No mention of how badly I had tweezed my eyebrows like a lunatic, which had left me looking like a clown for a month almost?

It was overwhelming. I was sure I was blushing furiously.

"Lawyer?" I asked hesitantly to change the topic.

"Maybe." She winked, somehow pleased by my reaction. "So, will you tell if all of that is true?"

I tilted my head to the side. "Can't you read me?"

"Ah, I can." She nodded enthusiastically. "But only to a certain extent. You're pretty reserved, which is surprising for a former cheerleader."

"I was on a rare scholarship," I told her, trying to ignore another cramp. "I didn't cheer by choice."

"That explains it, then," she mused in open amusement.

"I guess it does," I agreed with a small laugh. "What else have you read?"

"It's clear that your friends love you despite your . . . disagreements." I ducked my head at that and she chuckled. "That Carter seems to have a profound adoration for you as well. You must be pretty likable."

I ignored the conclusion, "We dated. It's different."

"It's actually more impressive to see that guys are still so tight after the break-up," she said. "Not every girl can do that."

"Maybe. But I seem to have an ex-magnet in me." I shook my head.

"Definitely," she agreed with a laugh, looking at something behind me. "Ex number one is heading this way right now."

"Really?" I asked, looking over my shoulder to see who was heading our way.

She sure is caught up with the identity of the long-term boyfriend.

"He still has feelings for you, you know?" She said, removing her cover-up.

"Hmm?" I turned back distractedly. "You read him too?"

"Yeah." She chuckled with th admission, unaffected. "And observed him some. A lot of the single ladies have tried hitting on him when they realized that he and Chelsea aren't actually together. He has brushed everyone off and found his way back to you every time. I don't - like the rest of them dying to know - know what happened so I won't say that you should date him again. I will, however, say that you guys look really adorable together."

"Thanks." I laughed. She was definitely not one to be afraid of speaking her mind. Another cramp threatened to disable me and I winced. She noticed, taking that as her cue to leave.

"It was nice speaking to you. Feel better. I'll leave you to it." She waved her hand and jogged to the beach without waiting for a reply.

"Wassup?" He seated himself beside me, really close. Surprising even myself, I didn't make a move to create space.

"Nothing," I responded absent-mindedly, thinking of what Maya had just said. What did she mean? If Kaison was so in love with me, why would he cheat on me? It just didn't make sense.

"You aren't going to join them?" He asked, jerking me back to reality.

"Aren't you?" I challenged mindlessly. He held up his hand wordlessly. "Umm, makes sense."

"I got that," he smirked. "Now, why won't you have fun?"

"I don't like playing beachball," I lied. Well, half lied. I absolutely loved it.

He nodded. "So you're on your period."

"How so you- never mind." I shook my head, resisting the curve my lips wanted to trace its way across my lips. "That was fast."

"Told you I was good at reading between the lines." He simpered.

"But I knew that already," I said before I could stop myself.

"Me too," he said softly.

Neither of us spoke for a while after that.

"I told you they'll be here," I heard Sam speak. "Hey, babe." She hugged me from behind. I returned the hug half-heartedly.

"Took you long enough," I said drily.

"I brought you iced tea," Griffin said, passing me the cup. He knew I was on my period, too.

"I love you." I accepted the cup gratefully, drinking thirstily. I sighed happily. "This is good."

"Umhmm." He smiled at me fondly. Then he turned his attention to Kaison. "What are you doing here, Jennings?"

"Sitting," Kai snarked.

I imagined the chorus of Bad Blood playing in the background.

"I see that. Why here?"

"Oh, let them be." Sam laughed. And cut. "Liv can't play and neither can Kaison. They can keep each other company instead of staying alone."

I narrowed my eyes at her as realization dawned on me.

That bitch.

"Guys, come on! We're starting!!" Lena shouted, beckoning them forward.

"Do you want me to stay?" Griffin asked not so subtly.

"I'll be fine, Griff," I told him, glaring at Samantha. She smiled brightly at me in return. "Go."

"Call me if you need anything," he muttered before letting himself be dragged away by her, glaring daggers at Kaison all the way. I groaned as a cramp invaded my pain receptors.

"Did you take your medicine?" Kai asked, unperturbed by Griff's hostility.

"Hm?" I looked at him. "What medicine?"

"Ibuprofen," he deadpanned.

I blinked. "Umm, no."

"C'mon, Livvy," he groaned. "Why do you have to wait till the pain cripples you?"

"But I've had like really minor cramps." I fibbed. "I'm sure I'll be fine."

He gave me a shrewd look. "You were drinking yesterday. I wouldn't count on it."

Speak of the devil. My abdomen clenched again, more painfully this time. I gasped inaudibly in unpleasant surprise.

"I'll go get it," he said, standing up.

"I'm fine, Kai. It will pass."

"Livvy, goddammit. Just do as I say for once."

"It's always like th-" I stopped, waiting for a particularly strong one to pass. My periods were always weird. The cramps would come and go out of nowhere, kinda like waves. In crests and troughs. But I guessed that they had built up to this shit show today and I should've been more careful. "I'll be fine," I sighed when it ebbed away.

"No," he stated decisively.

I looked at him nice and long. The determination in his eyes and the set of his saw took me back to high school when he would force me to scarf down ibuprofen whenever I would get on my period. A small part of me wanted to relive that, even if just for a moment. And so, for the first time in a long, long time, I assented:

I winced at another cramp, tossing the keys to him. "The medicine kit is on my bedside table."

He caught them with ease.

"Got it." He nodded and took off.

I watched his retreating back with mixed emotions, blocking out the Deja vu that wanted to drown me in it and made me question my decision. I curled up on the beach chair to help the pain. The same question kept probing me again and again: he hadn't changed, then what had?

I had accepted the fact that my heart was his whether he knew it or not. I had given it to him more than willingly enough. I just hoped he was careful enough to not shatter the barely healed part of me into a million pieces again. Because I was sure I couldn't deal with heartbreak a second time.

God knew I barely survived the first one.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

A/N:-

It's a blue day for me. I hope it's better for you <33

Tomorrow is our festival of kites. Although I never learned how to fly one, I'm so stoked to go up to my terrace and people-watch a little. We will be sure to maintain social distancing, don't worry. This festival is always so interesting haha.

Anyhoo, that's all for today! I hope you enjoyed the chapter and like how the story is going! Please lemme know what you're thinking in the comments <33

QOTD: What's your dream project?

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All my love,
xoxo.