Chapter one: Crabby and Jet Lagged

O L I V I A

"You're here!" I heard Sam say in a sing-song voice as felt the vehicle come to a stop. My fingers stopped rubbing my throbbing temples and I reluctantly opened my eyes looking up.

Yes, they had roped me into joining them on this morbid trip. I already knew this plan was set to go south. I felt it in my gut. I had made like a thousand excuses, from money to leave problems. And each excuse was thwarted either with answers like 'We will play for your ticket and you don't even have to pay us back' or talking to my colleagues at the office who betrayed me by revealing that I had a whole year's worth of leaves stacked up for me to use.

So please, forgive me if I looked like I didn't want to be there. Because I truly did not.

"I noticed," I said dryly, climbing out. I was stiff and my head hurt. The flying part of the trip had sucked. Contrary to my mood, Griffin was excited and actually happy to be there. He grinned as he climbed out as well.

"Where's your enthusiasm?" Sam demanded of me, hugging Griff who, out of the two of us, looked more approachable without a doubt.

"It went to take a dive in the Pacific," I spoke, unloading our trunks with the driver. Griff caught my elbow and pulled me away, doing it himself. I crossed my arms across my chest as I watched vacantly. When he was done, the pre-paid driver drove away unceremoniously.

"Well, bring it back," she whined, hugging me like a koala.

"Can't." I stood still. "It's in the Marina Trench and it's liking it there better than here."

Griffin snorted.

She scrunched up her nose, finally releasing me from the one-sided hug. "And to think you led the cheer squad for a year in High School."

"Boo-hoo." I rolled my eyes.

"Is everyone here?" Griffin asked her, eyeing me cautiously. Who could blame him? I was pretty sure I looked dead.

"Most of 'em," Sam declared. "It's going to be so much fun!" She squealed, looking at me with twinkling eyes.

Suffice to say, her mood was not infectious to me.

"Yeah. Convivial," I deadpanned.

"What crawled up your ass and died?" She scowled, finally absorbing the extent of my grumpiness.

"My will to cope," I replied flatly.

She let out a breath, muttering a curse before shaking her head. It reflected her acceptance that asking me any question would only lead to a dead end. I decided to let myself be a tiny bit pleased by that fact.

"What did you do to her?" She demanded, turning to Griffin.

Ah, a change of tactics.

"Nothing!" He denied.

And another dead end.

"Well, you did something!" She accused. "She was fine when we talked last night!"

"Samantha, I swear I'm blameless," he protested.

"Then why are there dark circles under her eyes?" She grabbed my face, examining me like a mother hen. I stepped back in irritation.

"I'm fine, Sam. I just want to sleep," I told her, trying not to be as crabby as I felt.

"Why didn't you sleep last night?" She questioned and I gave her a pointed look.

"It was the turbulence," Griffin answered on my behalf.

Maybe not.

"Ah, that makes sense," Sam mused. "Was it too bad?"

I glared at her.

"Okay, find your room now, and talk later." She nodded. Fin-fucking-ally. "Got it. We can do that."

"Thank you."

I sighed, taking my suitcase and my shoulder bag. Griffin stopped me and took my shoulder bag himself. I sighed, swallowed my bubbling fury for a hot second, and kissed his cheek with a thank you.

Half an hour later I was in my room, alone. Sam and Griffin wanted to take me to the beach but I was in no mood to put on a bikini and step out to socialize. They grumbled for like five seconds before they got over it and went away without me.

I turned around in the bed, towards the beach-facing window. Lena sure had spent a lot of resources to accommodate us. There were thirty of us in total who could make it and all of us had a room for ourselves to share with our partners. The resort had been closed off for other visitors, which suggested that they had clearly been planning this for months in advance, possibly even longer than a year. I tried and failed to grasp the need to arrange all that so soon. Could've done this later. It wasn't like Aarti was dying or never coming back, right?

When we were coming in, we had to show our identity proof and were crossed off a list. That was another thing that bugged me for a while before I wrote it off as the precaution being taken to make sure that no strangers could sneak in.

I dozed off like that, wondering pointless things. I was awoken by a series of loud knocks on my door.

Did I say knocks? I meant bangs.

I groaned, sitting up and wiping the slight drool that had made its way down my chin while I slept.

"I'm coming!" I snapped and they ceased. I waddled over to the door and glared at my offenders. "What?!"

"Told you," Griffin said to Sam.

"Whatever," she grumbled back, shuffling her feet.

"What?!" I interrupted with another glare.

"Oh, right," Sam clamored. "Dinner is being served, let's go."

I gritted my teeth, unnecessarily mad. "I'm not hungry."

"Liv."

"Good night."

I shut the door before I could spew out an insult I knew I would regret later. I just needed to sleep it off. I walked over to the light switch and turned it off. I plopped down on the bed and did just that.

Jet lag is a fucking bitch.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I woke up with the sun. I had forgotten to pull the curtains close and the sunlight tickled my eyes, forcing me to abandon my endless sleep and sit up. I had briefly attempted breathing with a pillow over my face to block the sunlight, but after I had almost passed out from the lack of oxygen I decided that that might not be a good idea after all.

I felt a little groggy from sleeping too much so I didn't close the curtains just to sleep again. I pulled them open wider, tied them back, and unlocked the windows, stepping out on the balcony.

The view was iconic. The balcony was small, but it overlooked the ocean. The resort had only one level and almost all rooms opened both inside the resort and toward the beach. There was a small table and a pair of chairs in the corner. It was cozy.

The beach looked amazing, bathed in the golden glow of sunrise. The waves crashed on the shore gently. A lot of my former peers were already on the beach. It amused me to think most of them couldn't make it to school on time.

I went back in and slid the windows shut before anyone could spot me, locking them behind me. I pulled the thinner curtains closed again and decided to start my day. I unpacked my outfit for the day and laid it out. I took a shower, brushed my teeth, and got dressed.

I checked my Instagram feed and liked all the new posts mindlessly. The post Josh had tagged me in a post the day before stuck out to me. It was a picture of him, Griffin, and Samantha sipping some tropical drinks that had tiny umbrellas and straws sticking out of them. He'd written 'missing the sleeping beauty' in the caption. I shooky my head slightly with a smile and commented an emoji with a tongue sticking out of the girl's mouth.

With that done, I became bored. I decided to braid my hair. I ended up making a Dutch braid crown. Still not satisfied, I was about to open them and do them again when knocks sounded on my door again.

Tentative knocks.

Ignoring the guilt that was trying to worm up in me, I stood up and opened my door impassively.

"Good morning, Sam, Griff," I greeted.

"'Morning, Liv," they said one after the other. I tried not to comment on how rehearsed the neutral hello sounded.

"You are up early," I remarked, giving them an opening.

They took it.

"So are you," Sam countered.

"I always wake up early." I rolled my eyes, going in. They took the silent invitation and came inside.

It was hard for me to go from grumpy to sunshine even though I was feeling better. I felt the guilt at snapping at them for no reason too, but I knew that I would consciously have to keep trying to smile and joke to truly feel like myself again. Something in me found it hard to just flip the switch to cheery.

Going from cheery to grumpy though? That requires no time at all.

I was toxic that way.

"You got an awesome view here," Griffin commented, glancing out through the curtains open.

"I know," I said smugly.

"Mine isn't as good." Sam frowned. "I have to speak with Lena."

"Really?" I quirked an eyebrow.

She sighed, laying back on my bed. "No."

"Let's go on the beach," Griffin said. "They're all out there."

"Hmm," I hummed. "Did you speak to George yet?"

George would be his boyfriend of almost two years. He couldn't make it with us this time. Had to fly to Colorado for some family thing. Griffin hadn't exactly been thrilled about it, but it wasn't like he could do anything. And so, he had let it go. Him trying to stay mad at his boyfriend never worked for longer than an hour anyway.

"He's probably sleeping." He shrugged. "I'll call him later."

"It's a dull morning," Sam complained.

"Tell me about it," I muttered, watching the waves crash on the shore in the distance.

"You okay?"

"Just peachy," I replied after a beat.

"Sure?" She questioned skeptically, giving me another chance to say something.

I briefly considered telling her what was bothering me. But a second later a loud no resounded in my head.

"Positive," I lied smoothly.

She sighed. "Okay."

I wanted to tell her what I was feeling. I almost had, too. But I couldn't. At the last minute, either my tongue would freeze or my mind would rebel. Just like it had been all these years. She hadn't abandoned me, I knew she was there. Sometimes she and Griffin would force me to talk. Although it would be agonizing in the moment, I did feel a little liberated afterward. It pained me to not be able to talk to anyone but I just couldn't do it anymore.

I was surrounded but lonely, and I was dreadfully aware of the fact that it was all my fault.

After a few minutes of random chit-chat initiated by me to clear the air, we decided to leave my room and go out. We made our way to the beach and were instantly assaulted by greetings and hugs.

Why was I so well-liked? I hate this.

I returned each hug with a smile. I might've forgotten, but my body remembered the pattern. Sometimes I felt like Elsa: conceal, don't feel, don't let it show.

I laughed with them, gushed with them, and did everything to blend in. I felt like a fraud, but no one needed to know that. Amongst these people, I was the old me. A girl who had to keep up an image. A girl who had to fight for her rights and make her place, even carve it should the need arise. It was automatic.

I met Lena and her husband, Caine. They seemed nice. Lena grew up beautiful. And that tan was looking so freaking good on her, I was utterly sad for my own pale skin.

A question danced at the tip of my tongue and I fought to keep it in. My mind whizzed, trying to understand and keep it quiet at the same time as we exchanged friendly banter.

"I know it's probably weird," I began, giving in to the temptation and addressing Caine. I really hoped he wouldn't think I was an idiot. "But I just have to ask. Have we met before? You look kind of familiar."

Actually, he looked freakishly familiar. I just couldn't pinpoint from where.

He smiled politely. "No, I don't think so."

Oh.

"Oh, I'm sorry." I smiled back, feeling embarrassed.

"I hope you're feeling better," he said sympathetically.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine," I replied in discomfiture, remembering my stunt from the day before.

"That's good to know. Travelling can take a lot out of oneself. I'm glad you guys decided to come."

"Yeah," I smiled again, "Me too."

"Mr. Holmes!" Someone called from the resort. Caine looked over his shoulder and frowned. He faced me again, his expression courteous.

"I'm sorry, I need to go," he apologized. "Excuse me."

He was fast walking to his destination before I could reply. Even his back looked familiar to me. His hair as well. I mentally shook myself, concentrating on his wife. In good time, too.

"Listen," Lena began precariously. "I know it's a closed reunion but will you be okay if Caine's brother joins us as well?"

"Yeah, of course!" I smiled. She did not need to ask me that, but regardless her shoulders sagged in relief at the approval. I resisted the urge to raise a questioning eyebrow.

"Thank you," she exhaled. "I was scared people might object but so far everything is perfect. Enjoy yourself, Liv."

"Thanks for having us, Lena."

Ahh, finally done!

I decided to take time to myself. I had already met and interacted with the whole batch once. I wanted some time to myself to drop the facade. I was walking down the beach to recharge my social batteries when I was assaulted again.

"Olivia!" Joshua hugged me from behind without preamble. I awkwardly patted his shoulder and hugged him back the best I could.

Okay, maybe I missed a few.

"Josh," I said. "How are you?"

He released me and turned me around to face him.

"Great now that I've seen you!" He beamed. "You look absolutely breathtaking!"

" . . . Josh."

I resisted the urge to rub my temples. He never really understood the concept of off-limits. I always used to wonder how Kai was friends with him but had never truly commented on it seeing as to how close they were.

"Sorry." He grinned cheekily. Yeah, he was definitely not sorry. "Where's Sam?" He asked.

"Around," I answered. "Probably at the breakfast tables with Griffin."

"With Griffin," he repeated, his eyes wandering. They paused at my eccentric best friend and his smile widened. "See you around," he said and walked away.

Strange as always.

I walked behind him back to the group. A few of them had been married and were there with their spouses. I had met a bunch of them. There were businessmen, aristocrats, and models.

This is what happens when you graduate from a private school. Everyone is their own royalty.

How had I landed there? Scholarship. I was there on a cheer scholarship.

I often wondered what would have happened had my parents never looked for better schooling opportunities. Would I be somewhere better or would I be somewhere worse? I would still go to Berkeley or would I have gone to community college?

Sometimes we take our blessings for granted and forget that there are others who're struggling to make ends meet.

I spotted Sam and Griffin around the corner and joined them. I did not feel like eating so I just sat there making idle conversation while they stuffed their faces.

"Did you hear about Caine's brother joining the parade?" I asked them. They nodded.

I see Lena was thorough.

"I've heard he's a complete hottie," Sam winked.

Griff nodded sagely, taking another bite. "Me too."

And that gossip still remembers her way around this group.

"You're taken." I raised my eyebrows at him pointedly.

"George wouldn't mind," he said smugly through his mouthful.

"Does anyone know him?" I asked instead of addressing his way of speaking. He would just do it more to irritate me. As if he heard me thinking, he flashed a grin in my direction. I rolled my eyes.

"Nope," Sam said.

"Then how do you even know that he's hot?" I asked to make conversation.

"Word travels fast," Griffin replied.

"You two have been here for like an hour," I humored.

"That's today. Yesterday when you were busy sleeping, we were catching up with everyone."

"Well." I shrugged. "Okay." And steered the conversation back to our itinerary.

"Olivia?"

I jumped at the sound of my name being called. Not because I was surprised, but because I thought I had left that voice back a long time ago. Way long back. But the pieces fit together perfectly now. It made sense.

Holmes.

I turned around reluctantly and swallowed when my suspicions came true.

Guess I knew who the brother was, after all. And I happened to know him very well.

"Hey, Carter."

* * * * * * * * * *

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