Y/n POV

Tapping my pencil against the binder in my lap, I thought of what to write. I've already written enough, right? What else is there to say?

It was almost one in the morning as I worked on an essay due in a few days. I have been putting it off for later until I realised that there was no later anymore. Mia was asleep in her bed next to me. I tried my best to be as quiet as I possibly could but of course, I failed. Noah was blowing up my phone to the point where I had to shut it off, I dropped multiple things, and I'm sure the continuous tapping didn't help.

A break from college was soon. Thinking of finally seeing my family again is the only thing that kept me from going crazy. Its been four, almost five, months since I left. I was going to finally talk to Jack in person for the first time in a year, I could finally punch Mark for putting me in this situation, but hug him for putting me in this situation, I could hear my dads bad jokes again, and I could visit my little brother.

(Does college even have breaks? If they don't, they do now. Sorry for my stupidity)

But one thing made me want to stay here and never ho home. Noah. Of course. I wonder if he would even let me see Austin, thinking I was going out with Jack. If he's using me, why would he care? What was the point in all of this?

Mia stirred in her bed a bit, making me stop the tapping immediately and see if she was awake or not. Once I knew she was still asleep, I sigh and put my stuff back in my bag.

I plugged up my phone, turning it on. I set it on silent as quickly as I could before it woke Mia up. I was just receiving messages from Noah sent an hour ago. Glancing at a few, I decided to answer him tomorrow.

The darkness enveloped me as I turn my phone off. Pulling the covers over me, I close my eyes to capture some sleep.

Soon I was half asleep and all the sounds around me, I could barely hear. I could hear something but didn't care to listen to it, hoping it would eventually stop. It did stop but another noise filled the room that I didn't care enough to listen to. It was quieter than before. The darkness was pulled away from me, covering me in light.

"Y/n, get up" Mia demands, sounding panicked.

I open my eyes, slowly adjusting to the light. Mia is getting dressed and a tear stained Elijah sits on her bed. I sit up in confusion.

"Y/n, get dressed or don't, I don't care but we need to go!" Mia rushed around the room looking for her shoes.

Still half asleep, I try to get up do what she tells me. I was slowly waking up, Mia's panic rubbing off on me. It was only now that I realised that something had to be happening. Elijah was crying, Mia was panicking, and it was one in the morning. Elijah is never up past eleven.

As soon as I'm ready, Mia throws me my phone and pulls Elijah and me out the door. Still confused, I hop in her car as she struggles to get the key in the ignition. We sit in silence for the first few minutes of the ride. Mia looked scared and Elijah was clearly upset. I wanted to ask but I didn't think it was a good idea.

Soon we eventually pulled into a parking lot to a building that I never wanted to see again. The memories of sitting in a hospital all day next to Austin, hoping he would be alright came flooding into my mind. My eyes widened and looked at the two. I'm sure they meant to come here.

Looked to the back seat and there sat Elijah. All by himself. No Carter. Was he hurt? Is this why we're here? Why the hell are we here?!

Mia quickly parked the car and rushed out. Both of them were out of the car while I sat stiffly in my seat, not daring to make a move. Once they realised I was still in the car, Mia opened my door and gave me a questioning look.

"Y/n, come on! We need to go!"

"I-I can't go in there" I stutter, beginning to shake at the memories.

"Why not?" Mia asked impatiently.

"I just can't" I stare at my feet.

"Y/n, Carter is hurt. We need to go!"

"I said I can't!" I yell, gripping the sides of my seat tightly and squeezing my eyes shut.

"Alright" Mia whispers after a short silence "we'll be back in awhile. Come in there if you want"

She shuts the door and they begin walking towards the building full of tears and broken hearts. My body starts to relax as I finally let the tears fall. My head is in my hands as I try to forget everything. Its not easy though.

Its hard to forget the fear in his eyes. The beeping turning into a ring. His small body going still.

Its hard to forget losing someone so close to your heart. Such an important person.

You never realize how much they mean to you until they're gone.

He was brought out of this world at such a young age. It should have been me in his spot. Why wasn't my dad watching him? Why was he in the road in the first place?

He could've lived a happy life. Making amazing friends, getting the dog he always wanted, finding a smile he loved and wanted to see everyday.

My phone began ringing in my lap but I left it to go to voicemail. I couldn't answer and I couldn't care less who is calling. I just needed to be alone for once.

After a few minutes that felt like hours, I decided to call the person back. They called a few times and left a few voicemails but I never answered. My eyes were still full of tears but not as lobad as a few minutes ago.

Jack texted me saying he was bored and couldn't sleep. We were in different time zones but he was only an hour behind. I didn't bother listening to the voicemails and called him back, my chin resting on my hand.

"Hello, this is Pizza Hut, what would you like?" Jack answered in a deep, bored voice.

"What do you want?" I chuckled, my voice shaking.

"Why does it matter about what I want? This is your pizza"

"Really?"

"Duh. Who else would it be for? Jennifer Lawrence?"

"Maybe" I shrug "I might be ordering for her"

"Really?! Can I have her autograph?"

"Nope"

"Aw man" he chuckled "So, Mia texted me and said you were upset. Everything alright?"

"I forgot you had Mia's number" I dodged his question.

"Y/n" Jack said seriously "I know what you're doing y'know. Whats going on?"

"Uh" I hesitate "I-I was thinking about Austin" I mumble.

I was met with silence. He didn't say anything and t was probably better like that. If he said something, no matter what it was, I would get mad and go off on him for no reason. He didn't deserve that. He never deserved anything I've done to him.