It felt like a fluffy cloud above his heart, Deidara's smugness was indeed pleasant. He envisioned gold and teal colours – a painting of spiteful victory before his mind's eye. Itachi Uchiha hated him.

Deidara smiled at the thought.

He honestly had no idea that the raven man's younger brother was in this class. The blonde just assumed he'd throw out a lengthy assignment so that he would do as little work as possible and still get paid for it. Once semester break was over, he'd be back to monotonous lectures – they were hardly as fun as this was. Irritating an Uchiha and getting paid for it?

His dream job.

He jumped slightly when the bell went off – it was unnecessarily loud and he immediately hated that. His first class was about to start so the blonde stood up, walked around to the chair at his temporary desk and sat on the chair as he supposed he was expected to. He picked up a random pencil and started playing with it as some students dragged into the classroom.

His hunch was correct – it seemed these pupils were forced to take art as a subject. They were also living, breathing teen stereotypes. In total his class contained seven students...

Seven? There are only seven people taking this subject? Why have it in the curriculum – that is such a waste of funds...

He examined the four boys first; two brunettes, one blonde and one with black hair.

Uchiha spotted, and Deidara mentally rolled his eyes.

The two brunettes had oily hair, shiny faces – and not from sweat – accompanied by blotches of red skin. They snickered to each other, one playfully shoving the other.

Okay so they're the gross ones, Deidara nodded.

His eyes then shifted to the blonde pupil. His leg was bouncing incredibly fast, fingers tapping on the table as his excited eyes stared at Deidara expectantly. The blonde child seemed to vibrate with untamed energy and it was unsettling.

The pick-me? Maybe class clown? The blonde took inventory.

His gaze moved over to the black-haired pupil. A calm expression and collected disposition. He was staring out the windows that lined the right of the classroom – he clearly did not want to be in the class.

Ah, the too-cool-for-life Uchiha. Okay, males have been categorised. Now the females.

In their presence alone, the three girls seemed more sophisticated, focused and pleasant. In comparison to their male counterparts, these students seemed capable. He inspected the black-haired one first, clearly shy yet sharp – she seemed rather self-aware yet the way she fiddled with her hands gave off a sense of insecurity. The one with long blonde hair simply stared at Deidara – an accusation in her blue eyes that he was wasting her time. Lastly, the one with pink hair stared down at her desk – he couldn't get an exact read of her but it was obvious that her shyness was possibly her best trait...

Deidara sighed and stood up, "Yeah, hi-" He attempted but the class interrupted him.

"Good morning Mister Deidara" They all greeted in unison. The blonde man cringed.

"Tell me you don't have to do that in every class?" His face scrunched up.

"We do!" The bouncing, blonde one answered quickly and happily.

"Okay, so don't do that in this class. Anywa-" Deidara tried again, only to be interrupted.

"Why not?" The blonde one asked in interest – the look in his eyes was like that of a baby elephant; curious and joyous about everything.

"Naruto, shut up" The girl with the long blonde hair rolled her eyes as she leaned back in her chair.

"Ino, that's rude" The black-haired girl scolded while...pouting?

"He does it in every class, Hinata. The teachers can't even get a sentence ou-" The blonde one named Ino spoke.

"Well, you're doing it now" Sasuke noted indifferently; eyes still watching outside.

"I really don't shout – that's not in my job description" Deidara sighed, leaning back onto his desk.

"Sorry" Naruto apologised and was echoed by the other students.

"Yeah, I'm Deidara. I'm your substitute" He spoke while fiddling with the ends of his hair, "You got my email I assume."

"Why is your hair so long?" One of the brunette boys asked obnoxiously.

The girls all turned around to look at the boy but Deidara answered easily, "A child with oily hair and acne issues doesn't get a say over my appearance."

All eyes snapped forward in shock at the blonde's words, Deidara didn't even rethink his words as he picked up his previously abandoned pencil, "First things first, this whole gender segregation you all have going on" he motioned around with his pencil, "is tacky and I don't like it – very 1950s. Swap seats, blend with each other like a class and less like a catholic boot camp."

The students looked at each other and then around the classroom, and to no surprise to the blonde, the Uchiha picked up his things and sat next to the girl with pink hair. That prompted some sort of shuffling – even though it was superficial. For instance, Naruto sat between Hinata and an angry-looking Ino while the two brunettes remained glued next to each other at the back of the classroom. Deidara looked at the folder on his desk boredly – their names were Kiba and Kankuro.

"I guess that's as good as we'll get" Deidara mumbled, "Why are there so few of you anyway?" Deidara was still perplexed – what was the point of the subject if hardly anyone took it?

"This is actually advanced art class – the others are in the generic art programme" Ino answered, now checking the tips of her hair as Deidara had.

Advanced art class...huh, maybe this is a school after all.

"And yes, we did get your email" Sasuke now looked at the blonde.

"Oh I know you got it, your brother and the principal came to see me this morning" Deidara snorted.

Sasuke smiled sheepishly, "Sorry about that..."

"Uhuh" the blonde waved him off dismissingly, "So, nudity!" Deidara clapped his hands loudly, "Why would I make you sculpt a nude figure? What is meaningful about nudity?" He asked energetically now.

"People have sex soon after" The one named Kiba snickered.

"Sometimes, yeah. Also, sweety – Benzoyl Peroxide" Deidara spoke softly. Kiba furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

"What?"

Deidara vaguely motioned at his face, "It'll help with...that. Benzoyl Peroxide – available at any pharmacy." The brunette turned beat red in embarrassment. His friend stifled a laugh which attracted Deidara's attention.

"A hat and, or rich shampoo" He now motioned at his hair. The boy's face fell in offence.

"Is this art or beauty class?" Sasuke scoffed.

"Who cares? I am loving this." Ino answered excitedly.

"Art is beauty, Sasuke" Deidara's gaze snapped to the younger Uchiha. Behind his sharp blue eyes, the blonde was still debating on whether to make use of Itachi's brother or injure his psyche, "Again, why nudity?"

The pink haired girl shakily lifted her hand. Perhaps she needed to be excused or something, "Yeah?"

"Being n-naked is, like, it's a- um" Her voice shook heavily. Deidara watched in interest, capturing the moment with his mental camera – this would make for great content on his next sculpture – fear. His gears quickly reversed when he saw Sasuke place a comforting hand on her clenched fist.

So baby Uchiha has a girlfriend...

"It's vulnerable. Someone is vulnerable when naked" She answered more steadily now. Her eyes were gratefully green and focused on a smiling Sasuke.

How very curious, Deidara noted about the dynamic between the two. Sakura and Sasuke seemed quite close; he was important to her. But was she important to him?

"Precisely!" Deidara praised loudly and Sakura flinched slightly from the loudness, "Throw away the physical connotation attached to nudity. A mind can be naked; a soul can be naked – existence itself can be naked." Deidara explained.

"Yeah, we have English – we analyse poems" Ino deadpanned. She loved testing the teacher's patience. She enjoyed seeing how far she could push them until they explode and she wanted to see the blonde's face when he bursts into fury.

"Ino" Hinata hissed softly.

"Ino, you and I are going to get along just great" Deidara noted, "Poems are art, yes. So then, tell us Ino, what does nude existence look like?" Deidara asked while walking around to his desk and opening a drawer.

She furrowed her brows, "What do you mean?"

Deidara sat down, fiddling with something, "Exactly what I asked, what does nude existence look like? You've analysed poems, there have been themes of this nature in several novels, so explain its appearance."

She kept quiet, thinking and then thinking even faster as eyes slowly shifted to her – staring and waiting for an answer. The question was impossible – there was no 'appearance' to existence. It's a state of being.

"It has no appearance" She eventually answered, her eyes narrowed. The class stared back at Deidara.

"How disappointingly dull" He answered and walked back to the front of his desk, holding up a lump of clay, "Sculpting is not poetry. They have common elements, but in practicality, they are not equal" He explained, holding the lump of clay that was hastily, yet neatly squished into looking like an eyeball. The brown substance was nearly a perfect sphere, he had used one of his nails to groove out brown blood vessels and the shape of the pupil.

"In all art forms, there is symbolism. In poetry, it's embedded in the prose; painting has it hidden in the colours. But in sculpting, we take the symbolism and manifest it three-dimensionally – like so" Deidara still held the clay eye.

All of the pupils looked at him in confusion, "But that's...an eye?" Hinata spoke up politely.

"Great observation, I'm sure you've heard of 'I think therefore I am'?"

There was a click of realisation on everyone's faces before it dimmed, "Then shouldn't that be a brain and not an eye?" Sasuke asked.

"But Sasuke, 'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder'" Deidara countered. The realisation had revived somewhat. At least his students weren't all that stupid, "You see the meaning, pick up the clay, mould it and then leave it. You have then sculpted" Deidara finished as he smashed the clay eyeball flat between his hands.

"How did you make that so fast and why did you ruin it?" Naruto asked in happy wonder.

Deidara heavily suppressed his twitch of irritation, "Practice and nothing was ruined. It was art until it wasn't – even then, it not being art anymore makes it greater art... But you needn't worry about that part." The blonde picked out a red pen and counted seven pieces of paper, writing something on the top while carrying on, "As I typed on the email, you will sculpt your artwork – but I don't want anything too abstract..."

"Yeah, we get to make boobs" Kiba grinned happily with wide eyes. Deidara looked up at him.

This one is going to grow into a wonderfully red flag.

"Some of you will, yes" Deidara answered as he walked around placing blank pages on their desks, "On the opposite side of your page I have written down the name of your subject – I want you to sculpt them; however, their identity must remain anonymous." He smiled as he walked back to his desk.

Now, this is going to be SO MUCH FUN!

He carefully watched their expressions as they turned around their pages. It was a chaotically perfect juxtaposition of shock and shy happiness. Only one face surprised Deidara for a second – that of Naruto's; his expression was still one of excitement despite who his subject is.

"And, to increase the fun, take the last few minutes of this period to jot down your subject's physical appearance. Remember, they shouldn't know that they are the subject of your sculpture until it is complete and presented." Deidara announced sweetly.

Sasuke shot his hand up, "Is there any way to switch subj-"

"Nope," Deidara shot him down while returning to his seat.

"This is some perverted shit, I have to sculpt a naked guy? Who is in my class?" Kankuro fumed – his heated gaze zoned in on Deidara.

The blonde began moulding his clay distractedly, "Homophobia is a good look on you and yes, you will be sculpting a fellow classmate."

"A naked classmate, that you, an adult, will be grading... see the problem yet?" Sasuke growled.

"Ugh, grow up and stop boring me – did I say mould a twelve-incher or double D? No, I said mould a nude subject; which is the name on your page. It'll only be weird if you'd sculpt your friend's hoo-ha and expect me to grade it. But, you are welcome to send your brother back to see me if you'd like?" Deidara completed his moulding of a small hand showing a middle finger just as the bell went off.

*****

Deidara sighed as he walked through his front door just after four p.m. However, it wasn't a sigh of fatigue, frustration or sadness. It was a sigh of happiness. Being a teenager comes with a free subscription to hormonal whining and did he not have absolute fun turning them against each other.

Sasuke's class would simmer until it, hopefully, boiled over. The other classes were too easy – the blonde didn't need to do all that much to start feeling the competitive resentment tickle the air.

He undid his blonde ponytail and shook his head, letting his hair free as he walked to his bedroom. He deserved a reward – in his mind, Deidara always deserved a reward. He opened his bedroom door and threw his satchel on the bed, after which he shredded his coat.

"We're going to a club!" Obito announced from behind Deidara.

The blonde jumped in fright and spun around, hand on his heart, "Jesus, Obito!"

"Get dressed" The black-haired man smiled widely.

"Firstly, I see you've recovered the ability to smile. Secondly, I don't have the cash to go to a club and I doubt you do and lastly I just got home-"

"Shut up, get dressed. Obviously, neither of us are paying – a group of my friends are going and they said they'd cover me this time."

Deidara narrowed his eyes, Obito had turned his phone back on but the blonde chose not to mention it, "They'd pay for you, not me – so go have fun, I'll just sleep or whatever." The blonde waved dismissingly.

"You're coming, now get dressed." Obito narrowed his eyes.

"No I am not", Deidara countered boredly.