Chapter 14 - "Cheese puff, Cheese Puff?"

    The next place we went was my childhood home. I was confused at first, especially since my family no longer lived here but someone else did, as far as I knew.

But when Luka turned the knob, the door opened. I cringed at the creepy creak of the door, following him in. I couldn't help feeling like I was in someone else's house, and honestly, I was. "Who lives here now?"

The furniture was the same as I remembered - a little reminder my parents had left with just their personal belongings and left the furniture behind. Luka shrugged, leading the way to the back sliding glass door we'd been through so many times. "I just took a gamble. I heard the people that own it now were out of town."

"Why couldn't we just go around the house then? To the beach?"

He looked over towards me, offering a crooked smile. "You and I have a million and one memories in every room in that house. That was stop number four. We'll revisit after dinner. Then I'll lock it and the owners will never know we were there."

I nodded silently, following him as he led us further from the house out towards the ocean. When we were just close enough to smell the salty water, I almost gasped. There, sat in the sand was a blanket with a picnic basket on top. There was candles littered all around the blanket, framing it in a glow. He stepped over the candles, holding his hand out for me to do the same.

And I did. But there was no way he'd done this, I'd been with him the whole time.

Someone had helped him.

He opened the picnic basket and I barked out an unattractive laugh at what he held out towards me. "Cheese puff, Cheese Puff?"

I nodded, laughing while I grabbed one from the orange bag. One peek into the picnic basket told me this was the only thing available. I raised an eyebrow, about to question him and he smirked.

"I didn't say it was a healthy dinner."

I giggled, nodding as we enjoyed the cheese Puff's. Then, from behind his back, he produced something else. I could only wonder where he'd hidden it, but I laughed all the same as he brought out a small packet of Cheez It's.

"You're so corny."

"I think you mean cheesy."

We ate those too, before I knew the conversation I'd been waiting for was coming up. I decided to break the tension with my reasoning. "Cheez It came from the time you offered me your Cheez It's when I had no snack, then continued to bring me some."

He smiled at the memory. "You were always so happy. I couldn't help it."

I smiled and felt my face flush at the admission. He was being so sweet to me all throughout today and I couldn't help but feel like something bad was coming.

"So, my confession," Luka murmured, staring out towards the horizon. The sky blended into different hues of pinks and oranges creating an ominous glow and mixed with the candles it was iridescent. The sky was beautiful, the sun beginning to hide behind the horizon nothing short of gorgeous, and even the rocky ocean pounding the shore unevenly caused a warm feeling throughout my chest. This was home.

"I've never been good with my feelings," Luka started, his eyes trained on the sky. "You of all people should know that." A flick of his green eyes towards me had me nodding in confirmation. I did know that. "I've only ever gone to you to talk about my problems. Not Chris, not Owen, not a therapist; Chloe Russell. You've always been my human diary, the person I trust the most, and maybe that was my downfall."

I felt hurt by the words but let him continue to explain. "I had no one to go to about this. You were my best friends little sister, my other best friend's muse, and Gia and Zoey are blabbermouths. Still, I'm surprised they didn't give me away all these years."

My mind caught one word. "Muse?"

"Owen's entire existence was based off of you, only after he found out I liked you. He heard me trying to talk to someone about it - my Mamá, and since then he's made it his mission to steal your affection. And damn him, he did it. You practically ate, lived and breathed Owen your entire life."

I flushed. "I did not."

"You did, but that was past tense," Luka mumbled. "Now I don't know how you feel. I set up camp here because here is where I had to say goodbye to the girl I was in love with my entire life, for four years. In this very spot."

My eyes widened and I bristled nervously. I opened my mouth to respond, not exactly knowing what to say but knowing I needed to respond. He held up a hand to silence me though, and I closed my mouth. "I don't want you to say anything."

"I don't expect you to be in love with me, not yet," Luka added quietly. Then he looked over to me. "But damn do I hope one day you will. I'll do everything in my power to make that happen. I wanted you to be my first kiss, and I want you to be the last. You're the first girl I spent the night with, and I want you to be the last. And you're the first and last girl I want to make love to. No one else will do."

I felt traitorous tears in my eyes at the confession and I coughed. "Why me?"

"Why not you?" Luka laughed then, but it was bitter. "I've never understood why the hell Zoey and Giana always got the most attention. They're beautiful, sure, great girls - love them like sister's, but there's so much more to you. You love with all your heart, and weep for those who don't deserve it. You have a spark, a fire alight in those gorgeous blue eyes you've had since grade school and even though I know you've been through dark shit since you've left, you haven't lost that spark."

"You're the girl who would give the jacket off her back and go cold if someone else could be warm. You're Chloe Russell, the girl with the heart of gold and eyes blue as the ocean. Why do you think blue and black are my favorite colors? Blue reminds me of an angel, the beautiful eyes of a perfect angel and black reminds me of the first memory of you."

"And damn if I haven't tried to stop feeling this way," he snapped angrily, but not at me. His anger was very obviously directed towards himself. "I've tried so many times to think of other girls, hell I've even tried to think of other guys. But every single person in this world I come across, I compare to you. The lady at the supermarket was nice, she bagged my groceries perfectly. Then the voice in my head goes, Chloe would have carried them out for you. I can't escape you."

He laid his forehead on mine then, looking into my eyes and I saw the love and admiration there. I knew he could see the confusion, the shock and the questions swimming around my eyes, but he didn't even broach the subject. "And I don't want to. You're my favorite drug. Every time I stared down the barrel of a gun, every explosion I witnessed and every man down out in the field, you popped in my head. Would I ever get to say goodbye to Chloe if I died? Tell her I love her?"

"All the days I saw you crying about yourself growing up, I wanted to kill whoever made you feel less than, until I realized it was your own insecurity. Why? I don't know. I know Zoey and Gia got all the attention growing up, but maybe it was because like me, guys were too scared to approach you. Lucky me."

He paused, breathing in a shaky breath before turning towards the ocean once more. It was calm now, serene and quiet and reflected the opposite of how I felt. Inside my heart was running a million miles a minute and my stomach was fluttering with butterflies. I reached out, hesitantly at first, and grabbed his hand. He responded immediately, flipping his hand over to entwine our fingers.

"But maybe not lucky me. You aren't an item, not mine to possess or claim, yet I want to. I want to proclaim to the world you're mine, shout from the rooftops how fucking lucky I am someone like Chloe Russell could love someone like me. But you don't, not yet."

"I didn't know..."

"I know you didn't. And I didn't want you to."

We stayed in silence while I mulled over his words. No one had ever spoken so highly of me, not in a million years. Then I realized I still had a question. "Why do you like playing with my hands?"

He smiled wryly, almost sadly. "It was the only way I could justify holding your hand. As I said, you're my drug, Chloe Russell. You're my kryptonite, my favorite poison. Your hands are soft as silk, fit perfectly in mine and act as a blanket to me. Your hands are a blanket I can hide in from all my problems, and in that blanket - in your hands, that's where my solace is. Nothing else matters when you're around, when we're hugging or touching or holding hands. It's just the two of us."

I smiled at that, my heart racing in my chest. I put my hand over his chest, right where his heart is. I had to see if his heart was galloping at high speeds like my own. But it wasn't.

It was going faster.

He put his hand over mind, cradling it his chest. He lowered his voice to a mere whisper as he said his next words. "This is what you do to me, Cheese Puff. Just a smile from you practically sends me through a heart attack. That's why I compared you to a drug. You're dangerous for my well being, you make me hyper aware of everything, and yet I can't get enough."

I smiled, leaning my head on his shoulder. After a few moments he pulled me up, leading me into my childhood home with the blanket and basket in hand. The candles were blown out and placed in the basket, we had everything yet I found myself looking back. I'd remember this moment forever, even if I never fell in love with Luka.

He brought me to my old bedroom, blank except for the king sized bed I had growing up, and he sat me down. Then he sat on his knees in front of me. "This is my favorite place in the whole house."

I raised an eyebrow. "Oh really? Why's that?"

He smiled lightly to himself as if remembering something before he looked down bashfully. Slowly but surely he met my eyes and his green eyes were so full of passion I almost choked. "This is the first place I ever kissed you. When you got your first boyfriend, I convinced you to let me be your first. Thank goodness for that."

I smiled softly, the memory returning to me full force.

Fifteen year old Luka kneeled in front of me, wiping the tears from my eyes. He frowned, his green eyes staring into my soul. Or so it felt. "What's wrong, Cheese Puff?" His voice was merely a whisper, but I'd heard him. He'd followed me after I stormed up here after school.

I sniffled, looking down at my lap. "I have a date. I have a boyfriend. I should be happy but I'm just scared."

His frown deepened. "You got a boyfriend?"

I nodded. "I should be happy. I mean, I am happy but I'm scared, too. I feel like it's a practical joke."

Luka placed a gentle hand on my knee, stroking it softly. He eyed me for a moment, contemplating something before he sighed. "Anyone who dates you as a joke is a joke, Cheese Puff. What a lucky guy. How about this: you kiss me so in case this doesn't work out, you don't have to remember some random guy as your first kiss?"

It was my turn to frown. "Wouldn't it be weird? Kissing your best friends sister?"

He shrugged, avoiding my eyes. "I've kissed enough girls. It's not weird."

I knew I'd rather it be Owen, but I couldn't help but think Luka was right. As annoying as he was, he'd be better than some guy using me. So I nodded, leaning towards him slowly. His eyes widened before they closed and mine followed. And ever so slowly, our lips touched.

The kiss was soft at first, gentle. It was just lips to lips, his soft breathing through his nose hitting right above my lips. When we pulled away, my face felt hot and red, and I licked my lips subconsciously. I don't know if he took that as an invitation or he was high on the feeling of the kiss, but he pulled me back towards him and kissed me again, licking my lip for entrance. And I granted it.

Coming back to the present, I smiled at him. "I remember."

"It was the best day of my life, until the day I kiss you again."

I raised a curious brow at that. Until? "You're not going to kiss me?" Even Owen had tried to kiss me, he'd just met my cheek as I turned

Luke shook his head, grinning widely. "When we kiss again, it will be because we have mutual feelings. No one else even in consideration. I've waited twenty three years for you, and I can wait twenty three more."

A/N: please do not comment "too soon" please keep in mind this is labeled as a romance and there will be lots of romance in it. It's far from over, Luka has loved her a long time so it's not too soon. Realistically Chloe wouldn't have feelings as strong as his since she spent like 22 years hating him. Relaxxxxxxxx it's not too soon for Luka's I love you

P.s. 3 chapters in one day just for this story, plus 1 for TLTSU whaaaattt