^Sorry, I just found that really amusing for some reason...

EDITING STOP MARK: FEB 10 2021
Readers ignore this this is just to bookmark where I stopped editing that day. Although none of you SHOULD BE READING, considering I warned you in the first chapter that it's under editing and nothing will make sense until I'm done 🤨🤨 you guys ARE listening to me about that, aren't you??

"I SAID OPEN THE DOOR! ARE YOU GOING TO DISOBEY YOUR HOKAGE?!" Tsunade growled, pounding on the door again. The wood sounded like it wasn't very stable- as if it could collapse at any minute. Tsunade's repeated knocking probably hadn't been very good for the stability. Itachi glared at Shisui, silently blaming him for the quality of the doors. No one was supposed to be able to find this place. Though a raging Hokage genius probably could, he supposed.

"Technically, she isn't my Hokage. I was a missing nin last I checked. But does she care? No." Itachi scowled, dropping his gaze to his feet and crossing his arms stubbornly.

"So," Older Naruto chuckled nervously at everyone, before wincing at the door as if remembering something painful. "Who wants to be her punching bag of the day?"

"Well, she doesn't know Suigetsu." Karin smirked at her teammate, giving him a not-so-friendly nudge in the abdomen. "I'm sure she would go somewhat easy on him. Besides, he can turn into water."

Everyone who knew Tsunade sweat-dropped. "If you're saying that, you've clearly never met Shishou." Younger Sakura smiled, before looking at the door worriedly. Tsunade's aura behind it had become deadly.

"I WILL KNOCK THIS DOOR DOWN IF YOU DON'T OPEN IT NOW, UCHIHA!" Tsunade screeched, her anger escalating to dangerous levels. The woman was a monster on good days, and she was pissed right now. God rest their souls.

"I'm not going out and talking to that crazy old hag! If she looks as scary as she sounds, I'm dead!" Suigetsu said, teeth practically clattering in fear.

"Oh, she is every bit as scary as she sounds and more." Older Sasuke added, flinching. He was recalling a time where he went to ask Tsunade for permission to marry Sakura, and the woman nearly killed him for her beloved student. Eventually, she did relent, but Sasuke was flinching away from her for weeks after that. "She scares the crap out of Naruto all the time."

Older Naruto shuddered, before pointing at the door accusingly. "Hey, she's a crazy woman. And when she's drunk, she can be worse than Sakura." Somehow, both Sakuras shot him an identical look of offensiveness that made him suspect that even if Tsunade didn't get in, he was dead anyway.

"HEY! I'M BREAKING DOWN THE DOOR IN THREE!"

"Crap..." Kakashi looked out the window. Tsunade was rolling up her sleeves, cracking her knuckles, and getting ready to punch. "She's serious."

"Duh," Boruto rolled his eyes, sitting back on the couch and eyeing his nails. Sarada was sitting forward in her seat, watching the thing go down with eyebrows raised and not a single word to contribute.

"TWO!"

Kakashi pushed younger Sasuke towards the door roughly. "Go go go! Don't keep her waiting!"

"Why me?!" Sasuke hissed, a petrified look coming over his face when he saw where the door had dented just from her knocking.

"You know if he dies, I will cease to exist, and so will Sarada?" Older Sasuke added, gritting his teeth, and glaring at his former sensei.

"ONE!"

"SHUT UP AND OPEN THE DOOR." Itachi's eyes widened as Tsunade said that last number. Sasuke looked betrayed, but unlocked the door. 

"Fine, fine." Sasuke growled, opening the door quickly and dashing out of the way. He shuffled to the other side of the room, where he was out of range of those fists. Though, he realized, no part of this room was out of range of her fists.

In stomped a very angry Tsunade, with Shizune and Tonton not far behind. "YOU. ARE ALL. DEAD." She screeched, her hair billowing out behind her, eyes glowing with rage. "I WILL DRAG YOU BACK TO KONOHA, BEAT YOU ALL SENSELESS, HEAL YOU, THEN BEAT YOU AGAIN. AND THEN I WILL STARVE YOU-- Naruto, that means no ramen for you-- AND--" She stopped midsentence. "Who the heck are these kids? And the other people... now that I think about it, why is Itachi here? WHAT IS GOING ON?!"

Everyone else stayed silent, and all eyes drifted to younger Naruto. He was horrible at explaining things, but people tended to like him, somehow.

"What?!" He frowned.

"Explain!" Boruto nodded his head in her direction in encouragement. He looked at Tsunade and winced as her fuming amber eyes hit him. "She likes you better than us. And if you do get hit, you have a better chance at surviving with your Kyuubi healing thing."

Naruto groaned, but saw no point in arguing. "Okay, Granny, you'll want to sit down."

Tsunade's face reverted to a concerned one instantaneously. Older Sakura privately diagnosed that Lady Tsunade was suffering from mood swings for reasons. "Ookay... Shizune, let's go..." she said, considerably more calmly than she had been seconds ago.

She walked over to the couch and glared heatedly at Shisui, who was beside Kakashi and Itachi. Shisui looked at her blankly, still oblivious as to what she wanted. "Move." Tsunade growled, irritated that she had to spell everything out to everyone.

"Uh..." Shisui looked to Kakashi for help, as if Kakashi had any to give beyond 'run for your life'.

"You'll have a better chance at surviving if you just move, Shisui..." Kakashi replied, wincing. 'Sorry!' He mouthed.

'S'okay!' Shisui mouthed back, before standing up and finding a chair beside Sakura and Naruto and crossing his arms over at the Hokage. Tsunade didn't appear to notice or care for his discontentment.

Tsunade sat and made herself comfortable, forcing Itachi and Kakashi to scoot to make room for her. Shizune sat at Tsunade's feet, Tonton wiggling the whole way.

"Alright!" Tsunade leaned forward, threading her fingers together and resting her chin on the intertwined appendages. "Start. I'm ready. I want to hear what happened before I dismember you and force feed you to Shark-boy over there." She gestured at Suigetsu.

Suigetsu went white as a sheet of paper and ducked behind Karin. "Please don't make me eat them... Sasuke would taste bitter..."

That got him two specialized Uchiha glares and a smack over the head from Karin. Karin put a finger over her mouth to indicate that it would be a good idea for him to shut up right now.

"Well, I guess it all started with a bowl of ramen." Naruto began, with a long dramatic sigh like he always did. "My day was going okay. I had a lead on where Sasuke was and Ichiraku's was serving free miso ramen on Tuesdays, Pervy Sage was out of town on some mission you sent him on to the Hidden Rain, baa-chan, so I was bored out of my mind."

Tsunade winced, and Older Naruto twitched. "Yeah... about that... nevermind, continue."

"Then I heard this crazy rumor that there were kids out by the old Uchiha hideout thingy, and I got curious. So I took Sakura and ran over there. I had to use the bathroom, so I ditched Sakura and went off on my own and guess what I found? Those two Temes tied up, with two Chūnin children hanging around them. Pretty sure they were all asleep, too."

Shizune's eyes widened, and she looked at the two kids, before shaking her head in disbelief. "You're saying those two kids over there wrangled S-rank criminals we've been trying to catch for years? No way."

Sarada smirked at Shizune and activated her newly attained Mangekyo Sharingan. "We're not weak, Shizune-baa-san."

Everyone in the room became dead silent. Itachi nodded in reluctant approval. He was by no means happy that she had achieved this, but could admire the speed with which she learned to handle it. "She got that the same age I did. Definitely my niece." Both Sasuke's looked down, scowling. Neither were happy about this arrangement. Older Sasuke was wondering about ways to seal off the Mangekyo without harming the original Sharingan.

That turned two heads. "EH?!?" Tsunade asked, face going a little green. Shizune looked incredulous, before looking back and forth between the younger Sasuke and Sarada.

"Shut up and let me explain, baa-chan." Older Naruto scolded.

Tsunade looked at Older Naruto blankly. "Who are you?"

"Shut up and let me explain, baa-chan." Younger Naruto repeated, which was a ballsy move even for him.

"Fine, fine. Hurry up about it, I'm itching to take my confusion out on someone." Tsunade leaned back settling in and making herself comfortable. Kakashi and Itachi scooted away a little bit more, the threat making them feel quite uncomfortable.

"Hai." Younger Naruto nodded. "So, where was I? Oh yeah, when I found Teme. So everybody was asleep, and then I was all like, 'BOO!' And they all woke up and started freaking out. Then somehow Sakura found me and whatnot, and Itachi over there passed out from exhaustion or whatever and woke up 15 minutes later saying we had to go 'cause Akatsuki wants Boruto and Sarada and--"

"Hang on... who are Boruto and Sarada?" Shizune asked, petting Tonton.

Boruto waved his hand, catching Shizune's attention. He wasn't super close to Aunt Shizune, but she had babysat for him and Himawari on occasion, and Boruto liked her. "Boruto Uzumaki, baa-san. Nice to see you."

Tsunade and Shizune gaped at the young Uzumaki. "Holy..." Tsunade looked horrified. "It looks almost exactly like...." she looked over at Naruto. "That...?!"

"Ahem." Naruto narrowed his eyes, temporarily disregarding the rude comment. "Hello? Can I continue please?!"

"Oh, yeah, sure, whatever." Tsunade frowned, looking back and forth between the kids. "I could swear that girl looks familiar."

Itachi tilted Tsunade's head to the left a little so she was looking at Younger Sasuke. Sarada took off her glasses and Tsunade gasped, looking back and forth between the two. "What the actual fuck. SHE'S-- HE'S-- What?!"

"Oh, yeah, baa-chan, meet Sarada Uchiha, Sasuke-teme's daughter." Younger Naruto groaned. "Now can I please continue?!"

Tsunade was glaring at Naruto and Sasuke and their children, trying to work out how in the world that would be possible, and her eyes finally rested on the people from the future. Shizune nodded for Tsunade, and Naruto did that.

"So we were running and everything and then we were surrounded by a bunch of Kakashi-bunshin-no-jutsu and he was about to Chidori Itachi-san and Sasuke-teme, and then Sakura and I helped him out a little and then we decided we couldn't go back to Konoha because you would kill us and--"

"Breathe, Naruto." Older Sasuke rolled his eyes at the younger version of his best friend that was a loveable idiot. "Just breathe."

Tsunade's head swiveled to look at Sasuke, her eyes narrowed. Sasuke suspected that Tsunade had already figured this situation out, and was just lacking confirmation. "Well now who are you?!"

Sasuke shrugged. "Pay attention and you'll see, Tsunade-sama."

"And then we went to Shisui-san's house, (that's this place) and we've been here pretty much ever since. We did save Karin, Suigetsu, and Juugo over there," The trio waved awkwardly, "and we kind of lost Sarada to the Akatsuki a few days ago. So there. Was there a reason why you're here?"

Tsunade groaned. "Neji Hyuuga decided to be annoying. He demanded a search party for 'Hinata-sama, Naruto-san, Kakashi-sensei and Sakura-san' and Lee was complaining about how un-youthful I was, and you know I don't like being challenged, so... here I am..."

"Neji?" Boruto said, a grin spreading onto his face. "As in, Uncle Neji?" Older Hinata nodded, a soft smile on her face. Pain was hidden far behind those elegant features that only a few people were able to pick out.

Tsunade gave them all a skeptical look that let them know she thought their story was a load of bullshit.

"Shishou, it's Sakura." Older Sakura smiled at her teacher. "I'm just from the future."

Tsunade stared at the pink haired kunoichi blankly. She'd noticed that her real student was there right away, but she hadn't noticed this older, more mature looking version of her. "Sakura?"

Shizune's face broke into a grin. "Look! She has the Byakugou! Aren't you proud, Tsunade-sama?"

"I'm Sasuke Uchiha." Sasuke nodded at Tsunade, to get a move on with this irritatingly long greeting session.

"You know me, I'm Hinata." The Uzumaki matriarch smiled a friendly closed eyed smile at Tsunade.

"And I'm Naruto, baa-chan!" Older Naruto grinned. "Believe it!" He gave her an eager thumbs up.

Tsunade looked at the older versions, and then at the younger versions. "Wow. What are you all doing here?"

"Well, we're really just here for our kids." Sasuke looked at his daughter and ruffled her hair affectionately. "It's Sarada's birthday back home, and her friend Chōchō is kinda worried."

Sarada hugged her father, smiling at the image of Chōchō freaking out. "I'm sure you were worried for us too. Oh, hi, Tsunade-baa-chan." She realized that she was being rude by not addressing the elder in the room.

"So I guess these are your brats?" Tsunade looked down on Boruto and Sarada, narrowing her eyes and picking them apart. Boruto and Sarada squirmed uncomfortably under her stare.

Older Naruto and Hinata smiled and ruffled Boruto's hair. "Yeah." Older Naruto said, one-arm-hugging Sarada. Sakura slipped an elbow through Hinata's arm and grabbed Sasuke's hand. "We're from the future, and we have to go back soon."

"Sarada would've taken care of them, I wasn't that worried." Sasuke grunted, looking away with a blush over his face.

"Oh yeah he was." Naruto teased, poking him in the stomach. "He was pushing me to--"

"I was worried about leaving you here alone with both my younger self, the younger dobe, the dobe's son, and the pervy sensei." Sasuke glared at each in turn. Sarada blinked in confusion, before looking at Boruto as if he held the answers to her father's cryptic words just because he'd been his student for a bit, but Boruto looked just as confused.

"Why me?!" Younger Sasuke groaned.

"Because you were with Orochimaru for years." Older Sasuke replied. "An aspect that cannot be ignored."

"Are you kidding me?!" Younger Sasuke scowled. "I am you! Do you not trust yourself?!"

"Of course I do, stupid, she's my daughter." Sasuke scoffed. "I was there when she was born, and I have witnessed major experiences in her life. You haven't. You only just met her. I obviously care more for her than you do."

"Yeah?! Well who was with her when Boruto was stabbed?!" Younger Sasuke retorted.

"Do you have ANY IDEA how much that dobe hurts himself--"

"HEY, SHUT UP." Tsunade said authoritatively. "The reason I'm here is not only to find and return Naruto, Hinata, Kakashi and Sakura, and if possible Sasuke, back to Konoha, I'm also here because there have been reports of a ghost." She looked at Shisui. "But it seems I've found him."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Boruto squinted his eyes at Shisui. "Eh?"

"People were talking about a ghost of an Uchiha. Saying that it wasn't Sasuke and it wasn't Itachi, and that the Sharingan was different." Tsunade looked at Shisui again, pointing at his eyes. "Makes sense. You're supposed to be dead, kid." She was out of the village at the time of the massacre, but even where she was, whispers of Shisui of the Body Flicker had reached her. Rumor has it, he was on track to being the strongest Uchiha alive back then. Now, he probably shared the title.

Shisui nodded. "Yeah, well, I survived."

Tsunade narrowed her eyes at him. "You jumped... from a waterfall, correct?"

Shisui nodded again in confirmation. "Yeah. I don't necessarily remember how I made it, but I know I'm not an Edo Tensei. I have no memory of anything that happened after talking to Itachi."

"And what happened to your eyes? Why do you have the Sharingan? I thought Danzo had one, and Itachi had the other." Shizune said, examining Shisui closely with a doctor's professionalism.

"Yeah, I remember that." Shisui recalled, tilting his head in thought. "I don't know. My eyes seem back to normal."

"Activate them. Everyone else, look away." Tsunade frowned.

Shisui obeyed, and everyone else looked away. Activating it, Tsunade leaned over and examined his eyes. "Sakuras, Shizune." She said, turning to the older and younger Harunos. (Well, Uchiha, in Older Sakura's case.) "What do you think of this?"

Older Sakura frowned pensively, trying to avoid a direct gaze. "It seems to be real, but I have no idea how he got Shisui's Sharingan, or how he managed to replicate it."

"Are you sure you have no memory, Shisui?" Tsunade asked, frowning deeper.

"I just remember waking up in some kind of tank thing with green goop floating around."

There was one person who was well known for human experimentation that could've done something like that. Tsunade's eyes widened, and Sakura gasped. Older Naruto started shouting curses, and younger Sasuke glared at the floor.

"Oh kami...." Older Sakura groaned. "Do you remember anything else, Shisui?"

"Really, even the smallest details would help." Itachi nodded, his face going pale.

Shisui closed his eyes and shook his head. When he opened them again, they seemed to have gotten an idea.

"I don't remember much else, seriously, just some dude with purple hair and glasses taking notes and stuff. That's it." Shisui shrugged. Naruto cursed louder, and Younger Sasuke's glare scorched the ground.

"Shisui, I need you to remember someone for me, can you do that?" Kakashi sighed. "Can you?"

"Yeah." Shisui frowned in confusion. "Who?"

"Do you remember a guy with long black hair and snake-like eyes?" Kakashi asked, getting straight to the point.

"Yeah, actually." Shisui nodded. "Did he have, like, a really creepy voice? I heard purple haired dude call him... Oracamari-sama or something."

"Orochimaru." Older Sasuke cursed. "Shisui was saved by Orochimaru."