Sometime later, a group of shinies asked Rex to watch over their blaster training. While he went off to oversee the rookies, Ahsoka took to wandering the cruiser. To her surprise, she still remembered the paths of the white hallways. Fifteen months wasn't enough to erase three years of living in these ships.

As she walked, troopers were saluting her as she passed them. At first, she felt guilty, knowing that her rank was not permanent and that they shouldn't call someone who left the Order a commander. Yet somewhere inside her, Anakin's voice spoke to her.

That doesn't matter to them. It's a sign of respect. They know what you went through, day after day, battle after battle. Loyalty means everything to the clones.

A small smile escaped her. It might have been their new bond, which she still didn't understand, or maybe it was just from knowing him for so long, but Anakin still seemed to be teaching her things. Well, reminding her.

So after that, instead of pondering the salutes, she smiled and called as many of them as she could by name, acknowledging them. It was the least she could do. After all, if a regular civilian tried to do this, they wouldn't receive anywhere near the same respect she did. Ahsoka tried imagining Leslie or Jackson trying to lead a battalion and had to stop herself from giggling.

Eventually, she found herself in the med bay. How she had gotten there, she didn't really know, but she hadn't seen Kix yet and figured she owed him a visit. After all, he had treated her wounds how many times? She had no idea.

When Kix saw Ahsoka, he dropped the bandages he was carrying and ran over to her, lifting her up in a hug. "What took you so long?!?" he asked, and Ahsoka shrugged as he set her down on her feet.

"Making life work in the Lower Levels, like most other civilians," she answered modestly. "Do you need some help stocking supplies? I have a feeling we're going to need them."

"I'd never turn away help, especially from you, Commander," he answered, and Ahsoka picked up the bandages he had dropped with the Force, stacking them neatly in an empty cabinet. Kix pointed out the fresh tools he needed to move, and Ahsoka did it in seconds. It was quick work, with a Force-user helping.

She smiled at him. "I assume you want to double-check and make sure everything is in order."

He shrugged. "Normally I would, but I'm not worried about that right now. What about you? Are you okay?"

Always the medic, Ahsoka thought. "I'm doing well. After I settled in on Coruscant, I haven't had many issues. Thankfully, most of the ones I did have weren't medical."

"Most of them?"

"I burned my side on the first night here," she adjusted her shirt so Kix could inspect it, for, of course, he wanted to. "Someone else had a piece of debris cut their leg a month or go ago, and my friend's mother was injured too, but none of those were me."

Kix nodded, not really focusing on her words. "Well, you've been taking care of it," he deducted, focusing on her side. "It's healing well, and the scar doesn't look like it was ever infected. One of the stitches might have been a bit crooked, though. Who closed it, just a local hospital?"

Ahsoka shook her head. "I couldn't have afforded to see a professional medical center. I had to close it myself, unfortunately."

"On yourself???"

"Yeah, it's one of the downsides of living on your own. There's no on-site medic at the ready. Actually," she reasoned, "lately, I've become the on-site medic. All of those lessons you gave me have come in handy more than I would like to admit."

Kix groaned, trying not to imagine what that meant. "Noooo...I mean, it's great that you're taking care of them, but you shouldn't have to, you've never been certified."

Leaning up against the counter, she smirked. "At this point, from everything I've had to do, maybe I should be."

"There's an online academy on the HoloNet if you're interested," he suggested, before remembering something she had said earlier. "What do you mean, we're going to need the supplies?"

Ahsoka's face fell and hardened. "The Jedi we've been sent to retrieve are being held in a slave house, one that has a particular history for torture. I don't know how long they've been there, but I'm guessing it will have been long enough to cause some injuries, if not worse."

Kix nodded, mimicking her unamused tone with his. "Any idea what we could be dealing with?"

"Cuts, fractures, breaks, dislocations, concussions," she rattled off, about to suggest burns when she remembered they used electroshock, not heat. "Possibly some brain damage, due to electrocution. Hopefully not permanent, not on the first rotation."

"All the fun stuff," Kix concluded sarcastically. "While you're off on the mission, I'll get my team prepped. We still have...what? Over four hours? When's the last time you've slept?" He asked, suspiciously.

Ahsoka pretended to cower, smiling at his concern. "Seventeen hours, give or take."

Immediately, he pointed out the door. "Go to sleep, Commander. You aren't going to be able to lead a mission if you're not firing on all cylinders. Doctor's orders."

"Yes, sir," she saluted, before complying. She was only going to be able to rest for about three hours, but it was better than nothing and Kix was always right about these things. If three years with him on board had taught her anything, it was to trust the medic.

~

When she woke up, she saw the roof of her bunk, and for a minute she forgot about the last year or so. I hope I'm not late for training, she worried, so she checked the clock on her wall. On Coruscant, it was nearly two-thirty in the morning. A mission, then. It must be almost time for debriefing. Why hasn't Anakin called for me yet?

Then she swung her legs off of her bed, saw her scuffed, civilian boots instead of her burgundy, Jedi ones, and saw her bag leaning up against the frame, the one with her secret lightsabers in it.

Oh. It's not Anakin's mission, it's mine.

It had seemed so natural to live in the past and forget about all of her misgivings about the Jedi, about the Republic, and to pretend like Anakin was still waiting for her to wake up. She wasn't living the Jedi's life for her, though, she was living her life for her. Still, remembering all of her distrust seemed like a letdown. Ahsoka felt all of her disappointment in the people she used to trust all over again.

Ahsoka lifted her bag up to her bunk and opened it, snacking on some food she had brought from home. Infinitely better than the rations on board, but she didn't have enough to share, so it would have been rude to offer it to others. Disconnecting her comlink from her birthday off of her gauntlet, she replaced it with the Jedi comlink she had been given before boarding the cruiser. It looked out of place on her arm, with the gauntlets that had too much design to be Jedi, but so was she.

Then she looked in her bag again and pulled out her lightsabers. She had been training with them in the past month since she had made them. Asaaj Ventress had even stopped by her house and volunteered to spar against her for an hour or so. She had made a few modifications to the hilts, but now she felt more comfortable with them than she had for a long time.

For the first time, she attached them to her belt and let them dangle on her hips. It came with a sense of relief, something about having weapons at her side again and not just her blaster. It was finally safe to wear them out in the open, even if no one knew she had them yet. She could trust her family here.

She had one more stop before she headed to the war room to plan their attack on Scarlett Haven. Ahsoka walked up to the bridge, right as it jumped out of hyperspace. This was normal since Lokori was a small Outer Rim planet. There was no straight hyperspace lane from Coruscant to Lokori, so they had to stop at a medical station on the way, and plot new coordinates. Good, Ahsoka thought, if any of the Jedi are critically injured, we can transfer them to the station.

The doors to the bridge slid open and Ahsoka walked through, a hundred missions flooding back into her mind. Most of the time, Anakin was standing there with her. Sometimes, it was Rex, or maybe Admiral Tarkin (unpleasant memory, that one), but rarely had she ever stood here alone as she did now.

It was at that moment that she realized that she had command over the entire 501st Legion, plus Caleb, O-Mer, and Jinx. For some Father-forbidden reason, all of them chose to trust her with their lives. For years, she had thought about what it would be like to have control, to have trust, to have so much responsibility, and yet, the day when it finally came had snuck up on her all the same. She was the commander of the ship until the general returned.

And it scared her. Of all the emotions she imagined having on the day she finally had authority, she had never imagined fear. It wasn't fear of the mission, though, or even fear that the troopers wouldn't trust her.

It was fear that they would. That her soldiers would trust her, and because of it, she would lead them to their death. Not hers, theirs. Her friends, her family, the only people who, so far, had welcomed her back. If they died on this mission, their blood was on her hands. That was the true burden of command. Not losing the battle, or losing resources, or men, or ships, or planets, it was losing friends.

Ahsoka knelt on the walkway of the bridge, meditating in the midst of all of the work being done in the bridge. She had to find a way to complete this mission, to save the Jedi, and the slaves, and the Padawans and troopers. How had Anakin done it? He was known for suffering the least amount of casualties, so Ahsoka knew it was possible. She just had to figure out how. What did Anakin do that set him apart from others?

He was reckless, she remembered, with the smallest of smiles toying at her lips. He was always willing to take chances if he thought they would work. There was always a plan. He used his strategy to take advantage of every strength he had and every weakness his opponent showed. Ahsoka had never really realized just how brilliant of a warrior he was until that moment. She always knew he was good, but she was used to that. It wasn't until she had to be good that she appreciated just how talented he was.

She breathed out and focused. I can't be as good of a leader as Anakin is, but I don't have to be. I just have to be good enough to protect everyone.

The Father's words came floating back to her from the night before. She had told him that she couldn't risk lives that didn't belong to her, and what had he told her?

'Indeed, and you won't. That is why I am warning you: beware. Now that you have found what you believe in, it is time to use it. The galaxy needs you, not for who you once were, but for who you have become.'

Ahsoka wasn't going to win this battle and save her friends by fighting with the same ideologies and the same mindset as she had before her trial. It was not Ahsoka the Padawan who would do this, but Ahsoka the civilian, Ahsoka the balanced, Ahsoka the free. These people didn't trust her because of the title she used to carry, but the things that she did and the person she was. That was the person her family was ready to follow.

She stood and addressed the troopers monitoring the hyperdrive. "How far until Lokori?"

"8 parsecs, Commander."