Impregnate Me
I had hoped that the death glares Tucker had thrown at Matt would make an impact, it just happened to make the wrong one. Instead of backing off, Matt seemed to pester me more.
I have yet to know the reason for the animosity between the two and it shouldn't drive me up the wall but it was, insanely so. I could just imagine the bastards in the locker room smacking each other with towels, having farting competitions and somewhere in between the disgustingness of it all they would be laughing about how they planted a smooth one on me.
"Alright class quiet down" after waiting for a useless second she continued "today we're going to practice putting protection on with partners. You guys have 2 minutes to choose your partners and let me know who they are, and please don't strip because you'll be practicing on the woodys I had shown you yesterday. So after picking your partner, pick one up from the bin next to my desk."
Great, maybe she'll allow us to work individually. I shot my hand up to ask but a certain boy with demonic voice eyes beat me to her attention, a voice that belonged to a certain brown-eyed boy. "I'm with Andy" he flashed me his disgusting pearly whites and was by my side in an instant. Not a moment before he was next to me, a collective groan echoed through the room, by his many disheartened rabid fan girls. By all means they were free to take him and then tear him in shreds between all of them.
"Don't worry, I don't bite. That hard"
I've heard that silence is the best way to deal with anger problems. If only it came with a complementary pair of hand restraints, then I wouldn't have to worry about the murderous plots forming in my head. Orange never did look good on me.
I watched as the man whore rolled the condom on the personal woody we received. Not surprisingly he did it like a pro. I never was that great with following advice so I opened my mouth to spew out "maybe you could do that for the talent show, since that's the only talent you have."
"I have a lot more talent than you give me credit for baby cakes, care to find out some time?' he wiggled his eyebrows up and down at me. God he should be glad I don't know where he lives or I would shave those wigglers right off, and much much more of what my twisted mind could think of.
Taking my mind off torturing him, I frowned down at the colorful condom packet in my hand. Why won't this packet open? Damnit, open you… you stupid latex thing. Geez, no wonder there's so many pregnant teens these things are impossible to rip open.
As I continued to try, I involuntary let out a few grunts trying to rip the packet open. When the man-whore snatched the packet from my hands and in a flick of a wrist tore it open, I glared at him and then at the offending packet. He wore one of his trademark smirks as he nudged the condom towards me, I wasn't even going to try to open a new one, so I just took the opened one Matt was offering me.
Still a little agitated I started to roll down the condom on the woody, it wasn't that complicated really. Sure I wasn't a pro like Matt, but was it suppose to keep rolling up on it self like that? A little fed up with it all, I harshly shoved it down when as my luck would have it, I found myself staring at the little hole in the condom. As Mrs. Flynn breezed by my desk she left with the devastating remark "Congratulations you're pregnant!" Well that's one way to ruin a girls day.
Matt leaned over and whispered in a scandalized voice "You said you were on the pill!"
I'm not sure if people heard Matt or not, since his whispering wasn't exactly whispering, but they had heard the stupid cow. The loud laughter that surrounded me made want to disappear, I settled on being the first one out of the class that day.
"…. she practically yells that I'm pregnant".
Tucker opposed to laughing like a normal teenage boy, lifts up my shirt in the middle of the hallway and pats my stomach "well you don't look or feel pregnant to me".
"You're funny Tucker, real funny. Laugh it up" I smacked his hand away and straightened my shirt, looking around to see plenty of stares that said I'm-about-to-go-write-this-on-bathroom-walls-and-post-a-blog-about-it-to-make-sure-everyone-knows stares, high school is a bitch.
"But I'm not laughing" he pointed at his closed mouth pinched mouth
"That's because you're laughing in the inside but you won't be laughing when YOU'RE pregnant!" After my jab I quickly walked away from Tucker who had momentarily stopped with a blanked expression before he took off after me.
"What, will you rape and impregnate me? Oh the horror!" Slapping his hands on his cheeks he shook his head back in forth in his usual dramatic flare. So of course I glared, I swear all I do these days is glare. I'm a tad worried that I might have wrinkles by the time I graduate. The thing that worried me more was maybe I'm losing my touch, no quirks and all glares is never a good indication.
To spice up things a little I swung my bag at him knowing that should leave some bruises. I watched him do a little funny dance as my history book connected with his knee, how satisfying. I waited patiently as he came near the end of his wounded dance and some evil glares directed my way, we continued to our usual destination—the lounge.
'Hmmm, you do know I can't get pregnant right?"
"You know what I meant"
"Uh-huh sure I'll pretend that I do, but I just wanted to clarify that you knew. I mean for all I know, you might be thinking I've somehow turned into a blossoming girl overnight from being with you so much".
Oh look my book bag is flying in his direction, well what you know.
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