"I'm not a woman, obviously, but if you had done that to me," Mick begins, sighing dramatically and shaking his head at me. "I'd rip your balls off, shove them down your throat and watch you choke on them. You are the lowest of the low, Fletch."

It had been a while since I'd heard Mick say my nickname in that tone of voice; before Lottie, it was the tone he'd take whenever he found out that I'd rooted and booted another woman. Very much like how my mother would scold me when I was a kid, Mick even had that disappointed 'tut' down to a tee. As long as he doesn't deploy that, I think I'll be alright. 

"Why would you take her on such an amazing date, build up her hopes and then just take her home after?" He asks, his lips pursing as he gets ready to tut at me. Then that dreaded noise comes. Tut, tut, tut. "Shame on you. Shame."

I frown. "She doesn't even want to marry me. We've had this conversation. Den thélei na me pantrefteí." 

"That's all Greek to me," my best friend grumbles, stating the obvious. Moving my infant daughter from one of his hips to another, he raises his La Petite take-out cup and sips on his Americano. "But really, what the fudge was your thought process on that again? I'm amazed that Lottie only relegated you to the spare bedroom. I'd have kicked you out and slapped a restraining order on you."

For the second time, I explain to Mick how my date night with Lottie played out. 

So, I met her at the house, dressed in my best suit and was gobsmacked, as always, to see how stunning she looked. When I instructed her to put on her best dress, I should have made sure that she didn't try to stop my heartbeat in the process of looking that breathtaking. After I got over the shock of seeing Lottie, we rode in the car to the London Eye. I had booked the entire thing for a private dining experience, announcing the plan only as we pulled up and made our way to the capsule. 

Lottie was speechless when she saw what I had planned and started to cry immediately. I think they were happy tears, although they were kind of ugly, happy tears. It got even worse when we stepped inside the capsule and Lottie saw the dining table. I almost panicked that we had to abandon our evening. And after I'd gone to so much effort to make one of Lottie's dream dates come true. Honestly, that woman could be ungrateful at times. 

When the ride finally started, Lottie composed herself enough that she could carry on a basic conversation, even if it meant that sometimes she'd giggle like a schoolgirl and bat her lashes at me. I couldn't complain, though, because I can't get enough of her when she's flirtatious like that. 

As part of the package of hiring the London Eye capsule, we stalled at the top for ten minutes. Lottie shifted uncomfortably in her chair and started to hyperventilate as I began to ask her a few questions. Like, what did she envision for our future together? Were we to have more children? If so, how many did she want? Would we always live in the house we have now or would we need a bigger place? If one of us ended up in hospital, who would our next of kin be? What if one of us died, who would inherit everything? I needed more assurances, I said. 

Lottie was nodding along emphatically. There's only one solution, really, I said. I agree, Lottie replied. We need some legal reassurances, I continued, before adding, I think we need to speak to a lawyer and have some paperwork drawn up so if something happened, like death or a break-up, we and the kids are protected.

"You're a muppet, pal," Mick scoffed, interrupting my story yet again. The first time I replayed all this, he would stop me after every single word I said, asking me if I was of sane mind. The more he asked, the more I was beginning to think that maybe I was insane. "I cannot believe that you said that you needed reassurances just in case you broke up."

I nod. "I think that's where Lottie started to see red. After that, she threw down her napkin and yelled really, really loudly at me, saying that I was a horrible human being and well, it was all along that line but in far more colourful language. Most of it was in French, too. The capsule began to move again and in all the time that it took for us to get back down to the ground, Lottie shouted."

"Good on her. What next?" Honestly, Mick was a worse gossip than a lot of the women I worked with and those nurses knew how to spread rumours.

"When we got back in the car, she shouted even more and then as soon as we got through the door at home, she yelled even more," I dramatically added, elongating the vowel sounds in each word. "Then she kicked me out of the bedroom and told me to go an fuck myself because, for the foreseeable future, she wouldn't be. Oh, and then she added that my family are flying in next week. Way to drop a bombshell, like."

I think it was at that point that it dawned on me that my actions that evening really had gone a step too far. My speech at the top of the London Eye was supposed to make Lottie see that she wanted to marry me; all I needed to hear was some sort of confirmation that she wouldn't reject any proposal I made to her. Until I hear it from her lips, and not just inferring them from her words or actions, I can't bring myself to ask her to marry me. If I asked and she said no, I don't think I could withstand the heartbreak. There's be no way I could stay after that. 

Mick laughed bitterly. "I love you like a brother, Isaac, but you don't half pull some stupid shit. Why can't you go out on a limb?"

"No," I state, my answer coming out harsher than intended. Or maybe, it came out exactly as I intended it to. "If she says no to me... you know how I get when my head isn't in the right space, how I fuck things up when I'm hurt, how I push away those I want closest to me. I love Charlotte more than anything- sometimes even more than my kids- and if I lost her, I've lost everything. So, no, I won't ask her until I'm a hundred percent sure."

"Well, what's your next move?" Mick enquires. Since the heaviest part of my confessional was over, he and I started to move through the park opposite my house, walking past the zoo. "You need to make it up to Lottie and then you need to figure out what you're going to do with your family."

Groaning, I rub my head as if it hurt. Having to consider my family's visit in amongst all this mess I'd created with Lottie, was far too stressful. Why couldn't I just bury my head in the ground and not come up for air until all this shit had fixed itself? I just had to pray that by the time my parents and sisters arrived, Lottie and I were on better speaking terms. If not, I'd be severely outnumbered. Knowing my luck, Martha and Sera would turn on me, too, and then I really would be screwed. 

No, I needed a plan of action to win back Lottie and some strategies to not kill my family while they were here. 

For Lottie, maybe I could take her on another dream date. She did say that she wanted to go to Courchevel either in the run-up to Christmas or go there for New Year. Otherwise, she has been dropping some hints about going to New York. I'm sure I could arrange something. 

My family, on the other hand, was a pointless exercise. Unless they were all going to turn up and admit that I had been right all along, I couldn't see how their visit was ever going to end well. My worst nightmare would be having them rock up, pretending that nothing had ever happened and that we've always been this one big happy family. I'd check out the second an excuse passed anyone's lips. 

"Here's a thought-"

"You know, for someone who isn't having such a great personal life themselves," I interrupt him. "You like to give me a truckload of advice. Have you ever thought about manning up and telling whats-her-name that you're in love with her?"

Mick rolls his eyes. "Her name is Lydia and you know that. There's no point in telling her anything because she's loved up. I just need to get over her, that's all."

"What about Lyanna?"

Mick levels me with a glare. I've touched a nerve. "We don't talk about her. Did you know that she switched the sugar for salt because she knew that I was going to make a cup of tea next? The woman is insane. You know, even if I did want to move on and get over Lydia, I wouldn't do it with her sister. That's a whole world of trouble that I really don't want to get involved with. And! I overheard Lyanna on the phone yesterday and I'm pretty sure that she's already got someone waiting at home for her. Poor sucker."

Whatever Mick said, I knew that it would only be a matter of time before Mick and Lyanna happened. Just like he'd always predicted that I'd end up with Lottie because, and I quote, You're my best mate and I know you better than anyone else, I could foresee him and Lyanna together. He had that determined look on his face whenever he mentioned her; Lyanna Saunders is a puzzle for him and until he's solved it, she'll always interest him. He just can't see it yet. Give it time and he will. 

"But back to you," Mick quickly changed the subject back to my situation with Lottie. "You should just come out and ask Lottie if she wants to marry you. It won't be a proposal, just an enquiry. If she says no, it's not like it'll be the first time she'd said that. If she says yes, then happy days. I get to be best man. Stop dicking around. Ask her!"

 That's the problem with best friends. They know you too well. And they give you some really great advice. Bastard.

Happy Wednesday! Short/non-existent A/N because I'm running out of minutes! See you Sunday!

P.S. My toothache got better! Yay!