This is worse than hell; in fact, I'm sure that hell is looking like the number one destination hot spot for holidays right about now. Nothing- not even the devil himself- is as bad as having to spend the day at a fucking spa with my mother and my two sisters. I'm still trying to work out how on earth I ended up here. 

When Dad suggested some bonding time, I thought that he meant him and me spending the day at the pub or going to watch a rugby match or do something manly. When the doorbell rang and I was confronted by my bloody mother, grinning from ear to ear, I knew that something was up. The note that was stuck to the mirror in the hallway, written in Lottie's neat scrawl, was enough to confirm my worst fears. 

Gone out with your dad for the day. Taken the baby with me. Enjoy your time with your mum and sisters. See you later. I love you. Charlotte. p.s. don't hate me. xx

Unfortunately, there was no chance in hell of me enjoying the day with the women of my family, especially after my mother announced that we were going to a spa. I've never been to a spa before and to be honest, I wasn't in the mood to start familiarizing myself with them now. What would I even do there, have a pedicure and a facial before lounging around gossiping about all the boys I like? I'd rather stay at home, reading War and Peace. 

That wasn't an option, though. To be honest, once my mother had an idea in her head, all other options were off the table so I had no choice but to jump into the awaiting car and go along with them to some non-descript building in the middle of London that apparently housed the best spa in the city. It came highly recommended by my worst half, Lottie. She raved about it, Mum said, even going to so far as to say their snail slime moisturiser was the best thing money can buy. I gagged at that because, well, I've kissed Lottie all over and if she's using snail slime then... it doesn't bear thinking about!

 Still, that's not what Mum, May and Alice wanted to try out, thank goodness. No, it was something called a twenty-four karat gold facial. Just the name of it was extravagant and made me shudder at the thought of how much it would cost. Apparently, and I'm ashamed to say that I know this, the serum that has flecks of gold in it "lifts, tightens and lightens skin." Alice spoke of the treatment like it was the best thing since sliced bread. It sounded like a con to me. Now, the beer bath that they had there, that was something that I could get on board with. 

"We've booked the entire place out," Mum announced just as soon as we walked through the door. "After the way your father talked to me on Sunday, it was the least he could do to make it up to me. That, and taking me to Harrods so I could buy some more shirts. That baby of yours really knows how to ruin a perfectly good shirt."

My eyes narrowed as soon as she brought Sera into this. "Well, my mother knows how to ruin my perfectly good mood." 

"Oh, Isaac, you know that's not how I meant it," my mother sighed. Despite her most recent facelift, I detected a frown line appearing and her features betraying her well-concealed age. Sensing discord, May and Alice quickly scuttled off to the women's changing room, leaving Mum and me to duke it out solo. "Why is it that whenever you and I are within five feet of each other, we come to blows? Isaac, I hate fighting with you."

"Funny, you do it so well, though," I can't help but remark. My words didn't go down well but instead of answering me back as I thought she might, my mother levelled a sad smile on me, as if she was resigned to the fact that this is how it would always be between us. Immediately feeling guilty, I rubbed my forehead wearily and leaned against the wall before looking over at Mum. "I don't like fighting with you either, Mum, but you know what buttons to press. You always have done. That's not to say that it's your fault and your fault only because I bite back every single time. It's exhausting. Look, we're at a spa, so let's go and relax and we can sort all this out another time."

Nodding with a slightly more relaxed smile etched on her lips, Mum makes her way to the changing room while I veer to the left and go and change into a pair of board shorts that Lottie had packed for me. Honestly, I can't understand how that woman thought a pair of brightly coloured shorts were appropriate for a relaxing day at the spa, but whatever, I was in no position to forgo them. 

I was introduced to the ways of a spa day quite quickly by Alice who guided me to all the rooms available such as the aromatherapy room, the sauna and some other room that I didn't really care about because it sounded like a crap place to spend the day. The jacuzzi sounded like fun, though. I could happily lounge around in there all day. Just my luck that I'd find myself sharing the blissful bubbles with the one person- apart from my mother- that I didn't want to talk to. 

May, in a one-piece bathing suit, climbed into the jacuzzi and sat as far from me as possible. I was happy with her choice until I realised that she wasn't doing it because she could sense that I didn't want her near me; she sat that far away because she was scared of me. I could see it in her eyes. 

"I never wanted to disappoint you, Isaac," May muttered quietly. It was barely above a whisper but I still caught it. "We used to be so close and I looked up to you. You were my hero. Knowing that I've let you down-"

"You didn't leave me down," I say, cutting her off abruptly. "You let yourself down, May. You are, and you have always been, better than that. I just can't wrap my head around why you would be like that."

May bit down on her lip, almost as if she was unsure about the next words to leave her lips. Eventually, she nodded to herself and said, "Remember David Lees? We dated when I was, what, fifteen? That was my first relationship and I thought that's how every relationship went, you know. He was controlling and he'd talk down to me and then, one night, he raised his hand to me. He didn't hit me. At least, not that night. It didn't take him long, though. He always did it somewhere where no one would notice, like my stomach or my legs. Anyway, when that's your introduction to love, that's what you think it should be like. 

"So, when Xavier came along, I thought..." May's words trailed off. "I know it was wrong but I didn't want to get hurt so instead I was the one dishing out the pain. In the end, I couldn't stop it. I wanted to so badly. I love Xavier and the last thing I wanted to do was that."

I forced myself to relax my clenched fists. "Why the fuck didn't you tell me about David fucking Lees? Jesus, May, you let me be nice to the kid. If I'd know-"

"You'd have killed him. I know," May laughed humourlessly. "That's why I didn't tell you. Anyway, I'm finally getting the help I need and while it's going to be a long road to normality, I'm determined to get there. But, Isaac, you're not perfect either. We all have issues and yours, it seems, is mainly with Mum. She has the best of intentions if you just give her the chance."

From the corner of my eye, I saw Mum approaching the jacuzzi. Despite being over middle-aged, she still thought she could rock a bikini; that tummy tuck of hers that Dad gave her for her fiftieth birthday certainly helped. She waved at me and announced that it was time for our treatments. Frowning at what that could possibly entail, I slowly raised myself out of the warm, inviting water and walked around the jacuzzi, planting an unexpected kiss on the crown of May's head. 

Mum guided me down a hallway and into a room that had dimmed lights. There were two chairs erected in the centre of the room but they weren't chairs like you'd think they were. They were shaped like waves and had a mosaic pattern on them, heated to a temperature that was just a notch below being too warm. When I sat and lay back in them, I realised that they'd been shaped so that the person using them was comfortably supported. Maybe this spa business wasn't so bad after all. 

"What exactly is the treatment we're having?" I whispered to my mother. It seemed inappropriate to speak any louder. 

"You're having reflexology because Charlotte insisted," Mum replied, a small laugh in her words. "I'm having a pedicure."

A few moments pass in silence while two women wearing white jackets walk in. They set up and quickly get to work, the woman seeing to me rubbing my feet with oils that instantly made me feel sleepy. I would have nodded off if it weren't for my mother wanting to take this one-on-one time to have a heart to heart. 

"I had post-natal depression after I had you," she suddenly announced, taking me by surprise. "I was just a child when I had you and I resented you for ruining my life. At least, that's what it seemed like at the time. It wasn't until much later that I realised that I was the problem, not you. That's why your father and I waited so long before having more kids."

I shook my head. "You've never mentioned this before."

"Never needed to, I suppose," Mum shrugged her shoulders casually. "But then I was thinking, could that be why I'm always so quick to fight with you? I don't think so, then again, it doesn't necessarily help. Our problem, Isaac, is that we are too similar. Don't argue," she snaps a split second before I was about to argue the matter with her. She smiled to herself. "Anyway, that's not really the point either, not when you really think about it."

"So what is our problem, really?" I ask, not quite following her train of thoughts. 

"Ah, who the fuck knows," she mutters in exactly the same way I would have done if the roles were reversed. "Who the fuck cares? I know I need to be more patient and I need to let you kids get on with your lives as you see fit. It's a good thing your dad likes to put me back in my place every once in a while. Bastard."

I laugh. "I think you're right about us being similar. To that end, I think Dad and Lottie are similar."

"Aren't they just?" Mum agrees, nattering on as if we're just two girls at the spa, gossiping. "I bet they're doing something totally boring today. Like, going to the zoo."

"Lottie hates zoos," I mention. "A museum. Something cultural."

"Boring," Mum says, elongating each syllable. Looking sideways at me, she grins. "Now, tell me about this proposal. Don't spare any details."

Thank you to you all for being lovely and not getting annoyed with me for not updating yesterday. 

Also, thank you for all the good luck messages for my exam- it went really well but then again, it was linguistics and it's the unit I find easiest. 

So, on to the update- what did you all think?

See you Sunday!