Dedicated to charlottessmith

Ever since Sera was born, I haven't had a proper Boy's Night; yes, I've hung out with them and we've had mini-Boy's Nights but not on the same scale as pre-Sara. Tonight, however, Lottie was having a Girl's Night with Martha and Sera and she insisted that I go out, enjoy time with my friends, and de-stress now that all my night shifts had come to an end. 

It was Mick's turn to play hostess with the mostest. His place wasn't that far from mine which is I decided to walk, getting there just shy of the kick off time. Of course, I wasn't the first there; Dan was always early and the first to arrive, a bottle of whisky in hand, so I wasn't surprised to walk into Mick's kitchen and see him throwing back another glass of amber liquid. He looked like shit with deep bags under his eyes caused, no doubt, by sleep deprivation. Léa is not an easy baby and I know the feeling well. While Sera has been a Godsend, sleeping well since the start, Martha was a monster when she was a baby. 

"You look like shit, mate," I state as a matter of fact. Walking towards the counter, I pour a drink for myself and another for Mick seeing as he didn't have a drink in hand. Handing it to Mick, I take a good look at my best mate. He didn't look great either. "Why do you look like one of the other ugly stepsisters?" 

Mick blinked at me. "Like you're the Mona fucking Lisa yourself, pal." Scoffing, he and I both swallow our drinks and glare at each other. Mick was the first to break. "I've had a shit week at work, that's all. Lyanna's been testing my patience. You'll never guess what my bloody father has only gone and done!"

Knowing Charles Taylor almost as well as I know my own father, I can only just imagine what harebrained idea he's come up with. Not long after Mick and I became friends after meeting in the Uni bar, I ended up tagging along to a family party that Mick was forced to attend. The night was supposed to end on a high with a firework display that was going to rival Sydney's New Year's display but Charles didn't place some of the fireworks properly and instead of going vertically up into the sky, most ended going horizontally into the field behind their garden, striking a tree that was hundreds of years old. The tree didn't make it out alive and to be honest, with Mary Taylor screaming obscenities at her husband, I'm surprised Charlie boy came out practically unscathed. There's a camping trip that none of us talk about, too. The least said and remembered about that weekend, the better. 

"He wants you to get a tattoo of his face on your calf?" I suggest. It's not the most outrageous suggestion I could make. It's actually tame, unless... "No, wait. Is he making you go to that place again to do that thing again that we all said that we wouldn't do again?"

"No, and hell fucking no," Mick spluttered, shrugging off a shiver that ran down his spine. As I said, it's not something that we want to do again. Pouring another glass for himself, he drinks it quickly and slams down the glass. I'm amazed that the tumbler didn't shatter from the force. "He wants to have a staff office party. Guess who he wants me to co-plan it with? Go on, give it your best shot. If you get it wrong, I'll give you my left kidney."

Laughing, I pull a face as I ask, "Lyanna?" My laugh only gets louder when Mick nods in confirmation. "Please let me install a camera in your office. I want to see how this goes down. You're not going to end up in jail for murder are you?"

"Not a chance," Daniel interrupts. He was looking a little drunk off the few sips of his whisky and was swaying on his feet. "I'll defend him and he won't even see the inside of a holding cell. I am that good."

"I'm sure you are," Mick says, placating our drunken friend. When the doorbell rings, Mick holds up a hand to me and mouths, 'Hold on,' running off to greet the next person to join us. When he returns, he's telling Elias Marshall that we need to wait for Sam before we can get the real Boy's Night underway. Then he turns to me and says, "Lyanna's going to take the lead and I'm being put in charge of alcohol. A win-win situation for me."

Elias interrupted and asked for Mick to update him, slightly confused about what the conversation is about. While Mick indulged Elias, I pulled my phone from my pocket, tempted to text Lottie to see if everything was alright. I even went so far as to unlock my phone and start composing a text before realising that Lottie would only shout at me if I did that. She wanted me to have fun with my friends- that's mum talk for, 'go out and leave me in peace'- and texting her to see how all my girls were doing wouldn't constitute having fun with my friends in her book. 

Pocketing the phone, I watch as Dan moves towards the kitchen island and props up his head with his hands. He was mumbling to himself, saying stuff like he and Sophie had decided that they're not having any more children and how much hard work it is to have children. Being the only one that was listening, I had to shake my head in amusement as Dan continued to spew out all this bullshit. We all know that once Léa is a few weeks old and she's overcome her ear infection, sleeping through the night, Dan and Sophie would be whistling a different tune. 

"Where's Mini?" Elias asks, using the nickname we bestowed on Sam many years ago. "Don't tell me he's fobbed us off for his mystery girl again."

Hearing those words, I snap my head towards Elias and glare at him. "What mystery girl?" I demand. 

The kitchen goes painfully quiet as three pairs of eyes dart towards each other but never looking in my direction. Elias gave Dan a sideways glance that he deflected straight at Mick; Mick's eyes were cast on the floor. This was not a good sign. Slamming my hand down on the wooden counter of the island, I shot each of my so-called friends a stern stare, waiting to see who would break first. My money was on Dan. He was drunk. 

"Ok, so, basically..." Dan started, his words trailing off so that someone else could take over. 

Elias sighed. "Sam has been seeing this woman..." 

"What woman?" I ask through gritted teeth. 

"It's not Martha if that's what you think," Mick told me, his face a perfect blend of worry and relief. We'd had enough chats to know that while Martha was really into Sam, neither Mick nor I were convinced that they could make any relationship work. "He's been dating some arty-farty woman from the Riviera, wining and dining her at the top restaurants recently. Martha knows all about it. It's just business."

That last phrase, if it was said in order to put my mind at ease, it didn't. All I kept thinking about was how my daughter was feeling, wondering how she could go into work and see that arsehole, knowing that he was taking another woman out for dinner most nights of the week. I've never wanted to hunt Sam down and kill him as much as I do now. If he's hurt Martha- directly or indirectly- he'll be lucky if he's still breathing next time I see him.

Furious that they all seemed to know about this turn of events, I storm out of the kitchen and head for the door, ignoring Mick's pleas for me not to leave. On the walk back to the house, I filtered three phone calls, two texts and eighteen Whatsapp messages. I opened one text from Dan that read, If you kill my brother, I won't defend you. Sorry.

"Martha?" I yell into the house as soon as the door is closed behind me. The second the name is out of my mouth, I regret it instantly. Firstly, the shouting woke Sera. Secondly, it meant that Lottie was now stood in the hallway, manicured hand on hip, lips pursed and eyes narrowed. "Oh, shit."

"Mhm," Lottie agrees, her head bobbing up and down. There's a long crack in the face mask she's wearing due to the frown on her features. "You woke the baby. Do you know how long it took for her to go to sleep?"

I gulp. "Five sec-"

"A long time," my girlfriend dramatically announces, her words extended for emphasis. I wasn't buying her bullshit, though. Sera is exactly like me- she'll fall asleep the second she sees her bed. I wasn't about to argue that stance with Lottie, though. For now, she can have the satisfaction of thinking she's right. "Whatever you want Martha for, sort it out quickly. If you're not done in the time it takes for me to go upstairs, fix your screw up and come back down, you're joining in with Girl's Night."

I give her a Boy Scout salute and rush past her towards the living room. Martha, with her hair wrapped up in a towelling band and a bright pink face mask covering her features, stares blankly at me, her focus shifting back to the TV when she gets bored of seeing my face. 

"Hola, Papi," Martha mumbles before shovelling some popcorn through the small o-shape she makes with her lips. I'm guessing if she were to actually open her mouth, the clay on her cheeks will fracture. "What's up?"

"Are you upset that Sam is seeing a new woman?" I demand, not really thinking through the implication of the question. Seeing Martha's shoulders bobbing up and down, her head shaking and a muffled sound coming from her chest, my heart aches for my little girl. No matter how old she is, she's always my Bindi. "Oh, Martha."

Rounding the couch so I could sit on the coffee table and give her a pep-talk about how she doesn't need to rely on a man to make her happy, that she is better off without Sam and that she'll find someone ten times better, I see that Martha isn't crying at all. No, she's laughing. She's actually laughing, her lips stretching into the biggest grin I've ever seen on her face, that clay mask she was so careful with before now fracturing in every single direction imaginable.Not sure what to do, my body went from being relaxed and open to being stiff and closed off. This felt like a trap. 

"Dad, you're completely crazy," my daughter says, her hand reaching up to wipe away a stray tear that had escaped her eye. Half that stupid bloody mask was now smothered on the back of her hand. "Shit. Look, Dad, this is really uncomfortable for me to discuss with you because it's Sam but... Sam and I, yes, we flirt and I think he's fucking amazing and I'd probably pounce on him given half the chance but we don't... we're not... he's still just my boss."

I stare blankly at her. "So, you two haven't had sex."

"Dad!" Martha shrieked, burying her head in her arms. That face mask is turning into a body mask. "I really do not want to continue this discussion. As far as Sam is concerned, you will never know if we have or haven't had sex. May we please drop the-"

Lottie's voice interrupts as she walks back into the living room. "Alright, you're still here, still interrupting Girl's Night. This means you have to join in. Get changed into pyjamas, come back down and put a face mask on. After that, I can give you a manicure that matches mine. By the way, did you notice mine? Do you like mine? Do you know what would go nicely with them?"

Rolling my eyes, I wink at Martha as she gives me a sly smile. I think our plan is almost fully baked but it could do with a few extra weeks. Until then, I was having fun watching Lottie get more and more flustered. She'll break. Eventually. Only then will she see what I've got planned for an end game. 

Here's the midweek update. 

Some Mick-Lyanna things going on.

Some Sam-Martha things going on. 

Some Lottie-Isaac things going on. 

Which couple is your favourite? 

Which couple do you want to read about the most?

Which couple will:

a) have to deal with a secret child?

b) have a major argument soon?

c) have to decide what their next move is?

See you Sunday, peeps.