"What are all of these?" I asked Susie as I stumbled into the kitchen, juggling a stack of Amazon boxes.

I had never seen the delivery driver and postman as often as I did with Susie staying. It was hard to believe that tomorrow would be our last full day isolating together. I had been skirting the discussion we needed to have about what that meant for whatever we were.

It felt both too soon and too silly. We had skipped a few relationship stages by living together for a bit, and now I wasn't sure what that meant for us, but I didn't want her to leave. That was the only thing I was sure of.

"Oh, just some last-minute gifts for my family. I'll pop them with my things." Susie said, her voice a high-pitched squeak that had my brows shooting up.

"I thought they were more decorations and was about to ask where you planned on sticking them." I laughed, bending my knees slightly so I could ease the stack onto the breakfast bar.

They were alongside the home Covid tests we had both done just half an hour earlier. Although we were both negative, we still needed to test one more time tomorrow to be sure, but it looked like we had got lucky and dodged it this time.

Susie raised an eyebrow. "Are you kidding? There are plenty more places for decorations."

I rolled my eyes. "You can't cover every inch of the house with Christmas."

"Don't challenge me, Henry Carter, because you know damn well I absolutely will do it." Susie replied, wagging her finger at me.

I snorted a laugh until I caught the deadly serious glint in her eye and swallowed. "Not a challenge, more a plea. Please don't!"

"I'll think about it." Susie grinned as she pulled the stack of boxes off the side, stumbling a little under the weight. I reached out to steady her. "I can carry them for you? Where do you want them?" I asked.

"I've got it." She said quickly, hurrying out of the room. I heard her footsteps on the stairs and creak of the door to the spare room opening, as I moved to wash up our breakfast bowls.

Although she no longer slept in that room, she still kept her clothes and other bits separate. I had offered to clear a drawer so she could keep them in my room, but she had pulled a face, clearly a little disconcerted by the idea.

There were no rules to what we were. No manual that told us what was the right or wrong thing to do. It would be easier if we confronted the problem and discussed it, but I couldn't imagine what the results would be.

I stacked the bowls on the drainer and began drying my hand as I listened to Susie thundering down the stairs. She could never move anywhere quietly.

Smiling over my shoulder, I watched her come in with a grin on her face and my own fell. "You're dressed already?"

"Yes, I have work today you know." Susie replied primly, reaching for her coffee.

"I have it on good authority that your boss doesn't mind the occasional late start." I chuckled, coming up behind her, brushing her hair from her neck to press a kiss to it.

For a moment I felt her waver, resolve weakening as I pressed another kiss to her collarbone and a hand snaked up her top to palm her breast. Her head dropped back against my chest and the mug clattered loudly against the worktop as she put it down again.

"Henry. It's almost 9." She groaned.

"What a good little worker you are." I whispered against her ear.

It was a high like no other feeling her come undone against me. But she did have a point about needing to work. As much as I was enjoying spending the time I wasn't working with Susie, it made me even more determined to work hard during office hours. I needed to ensure everything would be done and I could focus entirely on her.

Taking a reluctant step back, I watched Susie sag against the counter. She took a shaky breath, "You are terrible."

"Oh I absolutely am."

She straightened her clothes and tucked a piece of hair that had escaped from her bun back behind her ear. "So, movie night tonight? I'm determined to give you a well rounded Christmas education and you've not seen nearly enough of them."

I sighed, pretending spending time with her would be a hardship. "If you insist."

Despite Susie's best efforts, I couldn't bring myself to love Christmas the way she did. Too much of it was haunted by the memories of my last Christmas with Penny and tinged with the sadness of the Christmases I spent alone since she passed.

"I do insist." Susie said, wrapping her arms around my waist and pulling me into a hug.

She was far more observant than I gave her credit for. Somehow always able to see when I was drifting off into my memories again and drawing me back to the present.

I enveloped her in a hug and smiled at the way she fit perfectly under my chin, her head resting on my chest.

"I really should get to work." She said, pulling away slowly.

I pressed a kiss to her forehead. "We really should."

She darted up to kiss me before spinning and heading to get her shoes on.

"Be careful." I warned as she pulled back the patio door to step out into the garden.

She shot me a cheeky grin, "Always am."

"That Ms Miller," I said, folding my arms across my chest, "is a bare faced lie."

Laughter burst out of her and her eyes sparkled with it. "See you at lunch?"

"See you at lunch." I repeated with a nod.

Pulling the door closed, I watched as she hurried off up the garden. When I was sure she had made the journey unharmed and watched her open up the office door, I turned and began making my way upstairs.

I was almost halfway up when the doorbell rang for the third time this morning. With a roll of my eyes and wondering what on earth she had bought this time, I hurried back down and pulled open the door.

A few paces down the path a delivery driver gave me a wave and pointed to the doorstep. I crouched to retrieve the small package, surprised to see my own name on the parcel for once.

Then I remembered what it was. Scooping it up and offered the delivery driver a polite nod, I turned and made my way back inside, closing the door behind me.

Peeking into the living room, I confirmed Susie was still at the office and hadn't come back because she had forgotten something, before heading upstairs.

The parcel was wrapped in a thick layer of bubble wrap and it took two tries with the scissors to get into it.

I held the small red box in my hand and grinned. It had been a while since I had bought anyone a Christmas gift and I had agonised over what Susie might like, when I came across this.

The small silver bell necklace reminded me of the movie she showed me and felt strange apt given her dedication to making me love this time of year.

In the Polar Express, the bell was a symbol of believing in the magic of Christmas, and if anyone could make me believe in something, it was Susie.