Mature Warning ~ Seriously if it makes you uncomfortable please leave after the karaoke. 

Before any obscenities could be said under her breath a microphone was in her hand and Poe at her side. For some reason it made her feel ever so slightly better seeing Dameron fidget uncomfortably as he gave her a shrug. Accepting their situation Zay swallowed and waited for whatever song they had planned to torment them. 

As the rolling beat to one of her favorite songs began her stomach dropped. Suddenly, she realized she had not had enough to drink for this. Not a duet with Dameron. Not to her song. Rey gave her an encouraging smile while Ben, the fucker, gave them a devilish grin. So he was in on this too then, not just her best friend. Rolling her eyes she made eye contact with Dameron as she sang the beginning lyric of Baby It's Cold Outside. 

The longer they sang, the more comfortable she felt. It was no secret that Poe had one of the best voices of the group, he preferred not to use it, except tonight he seemed to relax into his song. Before long they were playing off of each other and swaying to the music. Halfway through the duet they found themselves dangerously close. Close enough to feel his breath, touch his face, his hair. 

"My maiden aunt's mind is vicious." 

She smiled, a finger barely touching the edge of his hand closest to her. His brown eyes glanced at her lips, moving closer. Asking a silent question and receiving a silent answer before he brushed his lips to hers. 

"Gosh your lips are delicious." 

There it was. That stupid, ridiculous look that undid her. Every. Damn. Time. 

Maybe it was Dameron's charm. 

Maybe the flirtatious nature of the song.

Maybe it was that she had been unbearably lonely since her parents had died. 

Or it was because Dameron, curse him, had been the only one keeping her off that edge of insanity. That dark abyss of her mind and it had utterly terrified her. 

But...

Now.

Now she felt warm. Dare she say even happy in this moment. Maybe she had been wrong to run away from him and her feelings towards him those months ago.

She really didn't know how she kept the lyrics straight in her head enough to finish the song. Before she knew it was over. Her hand entwined with Poe's and she wanted...wanted to-

Finn picked a passed out Rose off the couch and announced that they were leaving, interrupting her thoughts in the moment. 

"Ben and I are going to head out before the snow starts coming down any faster." Rey practically bounced over to her, hugging her tightly. "We still on for lunch tomorrow?" 

God she was incapable of hiding that look on her face."Yes, yes. How could I forget?" Zay shook her head, trying hard not to roll her eyes. 

Rey, thank god, seemed satisfied with her friends answer and released her hold on her before taking Ben's arm. 

"Don't-" Poe started but was too late.

"I told you. Damneron charm still exists." Ben winked as he closed the door behind them.

Heat suddenly rushed to her cheeks, letting go of Poe's hand she moved towards her things and started to put on her coat. Poe rubbed the back of his neck embarrassed before coming over to help her gather her things. 

"Want to take any leftovers home?"

Zay looked out the window, the heat that had surged through her body earlier leaving her cold. Snow had been falling earlier when she had driven here, but now, now it was falling so hard and fast that she couldn't see her vehicle. Just like the day she had lost them. Lost herself. Lost her family. Her hands trembled slightly as the memories flashed before her minds eye. 

As if he had a sixth sense for her, Dameron placed her things down. "Still don't drive in this weather?" He asked quietly, softly. Understanding her sudden discomfort and hesitation. "You can always stay here until it clears up." 

Forcing her emotions down she met his gentle gaze and nodded. "Thanks." 

Replacing her coat on the hanger she began helping him clean up the mess around the living room and kitchen. It did not take them near long enough to tidy up the space before she found herself nestled up with Dameron on couch, the fireplace still ablaze. His arm was draped around her and damn her if she found it comforting. Not just his touch. His presence. His complete understanding of her made her feel safe. Something she had lost last year. That security blanket that family and home provided. Now she realized she had regained that feeling she'd lost when she was with Poe. And it had wrecked her entirely. The moment she had regained that feeling was the moment the crippling fear of losing it again had taken over and she had left him. Now she was here. In his house. On his couch. Practically using him as a cushion. 

And she liked it.

Loved it actually.

It was as if nothing had changed in the past few months. 

"Poe?" Her voice was soft, full of some emotion she did not recognize.

His eyes opened as he looked down at her. "Hmmm?"

"Why didn't you kiss me?" Why she was even asking this question was a mystery even to her, but a part of her needed to know. Had he meant to brush his lips against hers? Or had he only gotten caught up in the song? It was stupid of her to think. Of course he meant it, he had had that look in his eyes, she had answered with that same looks but he hadn't actually kissed her. Not fully. 

His eyebrows rose in amusement. "Love," She swore his eyes sparkled as a smile grew on his lips. "If you want me to ki-"

She leaned up and kissed him then. Fuck this. Those months she had spent hiding away from him had driven her crazy. She could not count how many times she had nearly called him. Almost texted him. Had almost driven to this very house. Now she knew she was wrong for it. Depriving herself of moments like this. Moments of happiness. Damn it all. She was here and he certainly was not helping to keep her walls up. Perhaps Rey had known this would happen. If she could only get them in the same room together, they'd pull towards each other again. 

His hands pulled her closer. One raking through her silky brown hair, the other gripping the small of her back.

Fire. 

She was on fire.

Her own hands found what they were searching for. His face. His hair. The buttons of his shirt, freeing his chest of the fabric. His mouth opened to her prompting, allowing her to fully taste him. Of the wine he had drank earlier, but of him also. That individual flavor that only he possessed. She had missed that too she realized. Not just Dameron. 

But the taste of him.

The feel of him. 

The smell of him.

Gods that smell. The smell of an ocean breeze, leather, and honey. The sweet coolness that was Poe Dameron.

He pulled away from her next kiss, rolling his head back, a deep chuckle escaping him. When he met her gaze again he kissed her deeply once more before catching his breath. "Damn it, I missed you Zay, love."

Her cheeks flushed again as she looked away, "I'm sorry I ghosted you. It was really shitty of me."

His eyes narrowed as he brushed his nose to hers. "You don't get to apologize for anything. I figured you needed some space."

"But-" A kiss interrupted her protest, forcing her to mumble words through it before she gave up entirely.

Maneuvering their bodies appropriately, Poe expertly scooped her up into his arms, her legs wrapped around his middle, carrying them into his bedroom. He attempted to set them down gently, however at that precise moment Zay had brushed up against him in a way that sent them tumbling onto the bed as his knees gave out. 

"Don't drop me!" Zay said through laughter. 

"First off, I didn't drop you." He kissed her. "Secondly, don't touch that while I am trying to carry you over to the bed if you don't want to be dropped missy." His hands moved lower now, finding the edge of her pants and slipping beneath them, eliciting a moan from her lips.

He sat them up, shrugging off his shirt, as she attempted to slip her own over her head. 

Attempted being the optimum word, considering the damn thing had somehow gotten stuck just over her head sending Poe into a fit of laughter. Great. Just great. Here she was stuck in her clothes and he was doing nothing to help her. 

"Not a word Dameron." A chuckle. "Just help me please."

For a moment there was complete silence and she wondered what exactly he was doing before she felt him unfasten her bra, slipping the removable straps off with ease. 

"Poe." She said, mildly annoyed. What was he doing exactly? 

Probably staring at her and-

Sweet mother of god.

Dameron was most certainly not helping her remove her clothing. In fact he was taking advantage of her predicament by helping fuel her fire even more. His hands traced her delicate frame as he nipped, kissed, and licked every inch of her. Down her sides, up to her breasts, and collar bone sending uncontrollable shivers down her spine. 

Fuck.

"Poe." His name came out muffled and lustful. 

His only response was to reach a hand down her core and under her panties. Massaging. Feeling. Searching and finding exactly what he was looking for. As she was about to complain about her shirt he silenced her instantly as he drew her nipple into his mouth teasing it with his teeth. No. 

No. Nope. He was winning and she could not do anything in this position. Wriggling awkwardly, simultaneously bumping him in the head with a stray elbow, she threw her traitorous shirt at the wall. 

Grabbing a fistful of his hair in her hands she tilted his head back, peppering his chin and neck with kisses. "You," She nipped at his earlobes. "Do not get to have," He mumbled something but she ignored it. "All the fun." She worked her way lower pushing him down beneath her. 

Slowly working her hands down his bare chest. For a moment she missed the tangled curly mass that used to cover his torso. As she inched closer to where she knew she could fully undo him she smiled as he moaned. 

Lifting her head up, a mischievous eyebrow quirked up, she asked. "I see you waxed." As she spoke her hands worked their way lower.

"I thought I'd try something..." His breath hitched suddenly as she unbuttoned his jeans. "New." That last word came out heavy as Zay finally reached him beneath his pants. 

"Ah. I see." He shuddered as she traced the outline of him.

Grinning as his body responded just as she knew it would. The thickness of him rising as she worked her way up and down- his breath began to quicken. 

"Zay." He breathed her named out as she squeezed him softly. Rhythmically. 

Alternating her use of pressure, gripping harder when she reached his head causing him to gasp. Even though she knew how he would respond, the fact that he was enjoying what she was doing to him made her need for him grow. 

"Yes? That's my name."

Good. She was enjoying torturing him. Teasing him into oblivion. As she pondered whether or not to release his member from its captivity she found herself being slide to the side. Laughing as she realized he was removing his pants and his boxer briefs on her behalf. Shaking her head she easily slipped out of her own jeans, revealing her teal lace panties. 

"Wear those special just for me?" He asked, tracing a finger underneath the waistband. 

The way his eyes swept over her as he drank her in, made her heart skip a beat. Some part of her still wondered how he could look at her in this way. How he could care so much for her. How he could want her, of all people. Especially after what she had done. Vanishing like she had. 

Biting her lower lip she grabbed his hand and kissed his finger. "Maybe I did. Or maybe I just wanted to feel good about myself."

Poe chuckled and pinned her down playfully, clicking his tongue when she went to protest. "It's my turn. Stay still." He purred.

He took her wrists in one hand before slowly moving his other down her torso, closer and closer to where she so desperately needed him. The feel of his hand moving so tantalizingly slow down her middle, her thighs, and back up to where she was wet with anticipation. When he began making gentle circular motions over the barrier of her panties Zay whimpered. To which he responded by nibbling her collar bone. Her whole body shuddered at his every move. 

And when he finally slid his fingers beneath the lace finding her clit, a moan escaped her lips. Hands clenching into fists, wishing she could grab hold of him, toes curling at the electric sensation racing through her. Every move he made only left her wanting him. 

Wanting him closer.

Wanting to warp herself around him.

Needing him inside her. 

Heart racing as he changed the rhythm and applied more pressure Zay moaned out his name so loud that he caught her with his mouth, drowning out the sound. She shivered as he made slow lazy circles agonizingly close to where her body demanded his presence. Shifting her hips she attempted to bring him closer, to emphasize her need. Poe was impossible. He knew exactly what she wanted, but he was content to work her into oblivion before giving into his own desires. 

She was sick of it and yet she wanted more. The months she had deprived herself of him. Of touch, had driven her mad. Now that she was here. With him. Touching him. Her body yearned for what it had lacked and now she felt like she was on the edge of an explosion. His lips pressed up against her neck, behind her ear, and cheek. 

As he murmured sweet things into her ear he dipped one finger where she ached for him most.

"Zay." He exhaled her name. Lips pressing against her neck, working their way down her neck. 

Releasing her wrists with his second hand he began making long idle strokes along her ribs, brushing against the peak of her breasts. 

With her hands newly freed she instinctively wrapped her arms around him. Anchoring herself to him. Zay moved with the steady rhythm he had begun. Begging him for more. When he slid that second finger inside her she could not think. Could not breathe. 

She moved on him, hips bucking.

"Don't you dare stop." 

At her urging he drove them in deeper. 

Faster.

Harder.

Cursing under his breath at the sensation. 

"Poe. I need-" She gasped as he stroked her, hooking his fingers, as release hurtled through her. A whimper escaped her lips then, shuddering around him as he stroked her through the throes of it.

Satisfied with his work he withdrew his fingers from her, pulling her on top of him as he rolled over onto the bed. Holding her trembling body tight against his own, brushing a stray strand of hair from her face tucking it carefully behind her ear. 

Their eyes were locked onto each other. 

Their breaths catching at the same time. 

Lifting a hand up to her face Poe gently caressed her cheek, before planting a kiss to the bridge of her nose. She took a deep steadying breath. Slowing her racing heart. Gods she missed him. Missed the feeling of not being alone. Of being understood. As she raked her fingers up his ribs working her way up his neck and to the thick waves of curly hair, he let out a long breath as a shudder shot through him. 

She smiled softly down at him as his hands made lazy stokes across her back. Zay paused then trying to find the right words to convey all that she felt in that moment. But found them all lacking. How do you put ones entire heart, soul, and emotions into mere sentences? She shifted over him, slowly lowering herself down to onto the fullness of him. Hoping that what she could not put into tangible words would be felt through her actions. A soft gasp escaped her as she took the full length of him, pausing momentarily to adjust. His hands had moved to her hips, his grip firm against her sides as if he was afraid she wasn't really there. Grounding himself in her existence. The feel of him alone, unmoving, was enough to send waves of pleasure rippled through her body. 

They laid there for a moment. Breathing quick and ragged. Foreheads pressed together. A moment later he was kissing her, his thrusts coming slow and even at first as she rolled her hips in time to his tempo. Breaking away from his mouth Zay buried her head into his bare shoulder, moaning into it, as one of his hands began to knead her breast while the other reached down circling her clit. Her body quivered and arched in response, bringing herself closer to him. When she couldn't take it anymore he grabbed her wrists and rolled them both over, pinning her beneath him. With each passing moment Poe's thrusts accelerated, driving himself deeper into her with each stroke. As he moved she rocked with him, her legs reaching up to wrap around his waist urging him deeper. 

"Fuck me." Zay moaned gasping for air, as he drove deeper into her.

A breathy chuckle filled her ear, reverberating through her entire body as he shuddered. "That's what I-"

She looked up at him then and kissed him fully, effectively shutting him up. She knew exactly what he was about to say. He said it every damn time she stupidly said it. Why she always said "fuck me" whenever she was in the thralls of passion baffled her just as much as it annoyed her. Poe had said before that he found the phrase adorable and endearing. She had rolled her eyes the first time he'd told her that. Zay had to admit to herself that she had missed his laugh at her silly endearing phrase, among other things. 

Like the way they fit together.

And the way he knew exactly how to drive her mad with need.

As the world slowed and everything that had been and everything that was faded away into pure ecstasy. 

Both trembling and numb, Zay wasn't sure how Poe ended up at her side holding her in his arms. His breath still uneasy. Every muscle she had felt like it was vibrating, or was that Poe? She did not care. All she cared about in this moment was the way his arms felt like home. 

"I've missed you." Her forehead met his, their noses brushing up against each other. "I never stopped thinking of you. Of what you said-" Something formed in her throat causing her to pause as silver formed at the edges of her eyes. 

Poe brushed his lips to hers. "Zay, I've never stopped feeling that way." His thumb stroked her cheek. "I knew that I had to let you go. That if I really felt that way I'd be able to let you go, because you'd come back to me when you were ready."

Her breath was shaking, gods above she felt like her entire body was trembling with emotion or nerves she didn't know. She didn't deserve him. He deserved someone so much better than herself. Someone who could offer him more than she ever could. Someone less damaged. 

But he did not want someone else. He wanted her- gods only knew why. Had let her go, somehow knowing she would be here, with him, again someday. Someday. Some miraculous day when she was ready. Not knowing when or if she would ever be ready for this- for him. 

As if seeing the battle she waged with herself, Poe brushed his nose against hers exhaling lightly. "I'd wait forever and a day if it meant I could have just one moment more with you Zay." Her name rolled off his lips heavy with emotion. 

Fuck her indeed. She was royally screwed by this man and his impossible perfections. "You are impossibly perfect, Poe Dameron."