Shit! Fuck! Shit!

How could I have forgotten I was meant to pick location to meet Kamal Madaki like we agreed on the phone. How could I have forgotten about Kamal Madaki?

"Hello? Yeside, are you there?" his deep voice brought me out of my thoughts.

"...yes! Hey, I didn't think it would be you." I responded awkwardly.

"Oh, I hope I am not being a bother?" he asked with concern voicing through his words.

bother ke? Disturb me abeg.

"No, not at all..." I paused for a while thinking of a lie that could sound convincing. "You aren't being a bother, as a matter of fact I was making arrangements for where we will be meeting."

Shit! I didn't make plans for that also, how was I to tell him everything was going to be last minute. The only place that was befitting for someone like me was a buka. Maybe Iya Amoke's buka wasn't a bad idea, besides it was the only place I felt safe in as I was a regular customer. It was serene, ugly ambience? Yes! But it was serene.

A first meet and greet with Kamal Madaki at an Amala spot won't be bad o.

"Ah, yes! On that, I thought to call and ask since it's been weeks I have heard from you."

Of course, how could I also have forgotten that I ghosted Kamal Madaki after the Mariya and Tunde's incident. I didn't think to contact him any longer as anger swelled over me or at least so I thought.

"Yes, about that. I got occupied with stuff but I promise, I am back now." I responded, hoping he wouldn't ask any questions further.

"Alright, whatever you say. Do you have any plans for today?"

"Well yes..."

Say it!

I heard him letting out a small chuckle. "Really? That doesn't sound convincing."

I smiled sheepishly as though I knew what reply to expect asking that. "Ever tried Amala?"

"Wait... do you want to cook for me? You don't need to... I have-" he rambled on and on.

"Calm down o, I was only asking to suggest a Buka," I rolled my eyes at the thought of me turning Amala for a man I met in the space of a month.

When you are not mad.

"Hold on..."he paused mid way through the conversation and began to laugh."You are hilarious, you chose a Buka for us to meet?"

"Hey, no judging. Iya Amoke makes the best Amala besides it is way quiet than those five star restaurants you are used to."" I uttered defensively.

"As for your question, I have never had Amala before maybe visiting Iya Amoke's Buka isn't a bad idea after all."

"Whatever you say but I still think you sound skeptical, sorry I chose somewhere out of your comfort zone."

Well I was right, the Buka wasn't a befitting place for people like Kamal Madaki. I imagined he was used to those high end restraunts where they served a pinch of soup with basil on the side for dinner.

Ugh! Rich people and their ridiculous way of life.

"No. No. I am just a picky eater but I am open to trying new cultural delicacies, as long as you are willing to teach me."

A nodded my head through the phone, a little smile curved at the corner of my lips. "Great! In that case, I will text you the address-"

"On that, how about I give you a ride?"

Chai! This guy was smooth sha but I won't be foolish enough to accept.

"What if you are a ritualist?" I said to him whilst twisting the hem of my shirt.

"Here we go again."

"In a place like Nigeria, I am sorry but you sound too good to be true?" I replied to him in a playful tone.

But did I lie? You never know who is a serial killer with these Nigerian men in occult.

"Don't tell me you are one of those insufferable superstitious people who believe in ritual killing?"

"Okay, now you are putting words in my mouth, I am not the one to believe in anything fetish as I am agnostic but what do I have..." I paused for a while to gather my thoughts together. "Is that alot of you rich men are in a occult."

Call me names but men have given women enough reason to be wary abeg.

I heard him roar into a fist laughter again. "You are cautious enough not to get into my car with me but not to go on a date with me?"

Chai!

Wait o, whoever said this was a date to him? This guy is moving too fast.

"Whoa! Slow down there, this isn't a date o."

"Really? What do you call taking a man to a Buka then?"

"You are way too arrogant but I no blame you sha."

"On a serious note though, give me a chance to convince you that I am not the kind of man that you think I am, Yeside."

"Mr. Kamal Madaki," I heaved out a sigh as I called slowly. "I have a boyfriend remember?"

I didn't know why I brought up Tunde in this but I still had to stay faithful to him, not like we broke up anyway. He only wanted a break.

"No hard feelings."

"Ta-ta then!" I said to him disconnecting the call. I knew not to rush as I wasn't going from home to change my outfit besides I was doing all I could to avoid the fussing from Iya Yeside. Things were better that way.

___

Phew! This was it, after the hassle of finding a keke napep to Iya Amoke Alamala's International Buka, I finally made it. My eyes roamed through the scanty room and as expected, it was less crowdy on Thursdays. My eyes met with a hand waving at me, who else if not Kamal Madaki? Looking as smart as always in his signature Kaftan wear.

"Hi... I am sorry I kept you waiting, crazy drivers." I rushed to our table.

"It's no problem," he gave me a little smile, taking off his glasses.

So... this was it.

"Ah ahn! Yeside, olowo ABJ!" A beaming voice hailed, I let out a chuckle knowing it was Iya Amoke.

She had considered me a faithful customer since I would always come to get Amala from her place.

"Iya Amoke international!" laughter bubbled within her as I hailed.

"You want the usual abi?" she asked in yoruba her eyes wandering over Kamal Madaki.

"Yes, please. I am here to teach my friend how to eat your delicious Amala," I replied, my gaze turning to him.

"You are at the right place, Oga. What do you want in your Amala?"

"I will have whatever the Lady is taking, ma."

"Okay oga, your food is coming soon," Iya Amoke smiled excitedly, with that she dashed towards the food counter.

"Everyone seems to know you, you must be popular here."

I chuckled lightly. "Far from it besides it's a small place here."

"Fair enough."

Soon enough, Iya Amoke brought in our meal and drinks along with a stainless bowl to wash our hands in after eating. I could feel his immense stare at me and heavens!

"Okay, first step to eating Amala, we wash hands first," I uttered enthusiastically.

Of course I was enthusiastic about teaching him how to eat Amala, I mean... Amala was the best thing anyone could ever have.

"You do know I'm a Nigerian man, right?"

"Hey, I am trying to be the most detailed teacher as I can, here," I replied to him defensively.

He raised both his hands in surrender with a smile on his face. "As your highness pleases,"he said his eyes not leaving mine as I grabbed a mouthful of my meat.

"So... any first impression?"

"I have to say, Amala is bland without the tasty soup and the ewedu."

"Well, that's the point of every swallow."

"Pounded yam begs to differ."

"Come on! Amala isn't bad, it's literally Amala! No swallow food comes close, you can argue all you like."

"I say this, how about I convince you to come on a pounded yam date at my house?"

Whoa! Whoa! Did he just mention date?

"Wait... you want to pound yam for me?" I let out in amusement.

"Anything to get you on the side of pounded yam," he shrugged, dipping his hand to grab a handful of the Amala into the soup.

"This man, what can you even cook?" I giggled in awe.

"I will let my action speak for itself."

"I can't wait to be the judge of your cook, I didn't know a whole Kamal Madaki could pound yam."

"I am human you know?"

"You are right on that one but with a man like you, you have people running things for you nau."

"Oh, come on!" he groaned.

"What? You rich abi you no rich?" I said to him in pidgin language.

I was right after all, there was no need for him to deny what was clearly the truth. Rich people can be hard to understand sometimes, why do they shy away from being told that they are rich?

"Well..." he scratched the back of his head nervously.

"I know you know that I am telling the truth."

"And for the pounded yam? Will you let me pound it for you?"

What sort of pounding?

Jesus christ! My dirty mind.

"Yeah... I mean... sure..." I stuttered nervously.

"Great!" I nodded as he replied, the atmosphere suddenly growing quietly awkward between us.

"So... you want to tell me more about yourself?" I dragged my words out slowly, hoping our conversation wouldn't have the-on and off-moment.

"You already seem to know alot about me," I heard him let out a chuckle.

"Everyone knows you are one of the richest billionaire in Africa that owns a oil company but I am open to know beyond that." I told him with a shrug.

"Alright, fine. There's actually nothing much to know, really..." he paused, rinsing his hands in the basin. "I am the most boring person you will ever come across."

I couldn't help but roll my eyes with how he spoke, who could have thought Kamal Madaki was a shy Bobo? Not me.

"Are you kidding? You are telling me a lover of renaissance arts and someone who is willing to pound yam for a woman he just met is boring? Nice try."

"I mean, I try my best to be fun," I could see a hint of a shy smile all over his face.

"Kamal Madaki, be serious." I said to him playfully causing us to both burst in laughter.

"Okay. Okay. I am Kamal Madaki and as you know, I am interested in arts. This might sound new to you but I paint. I love painting, I enjoy playing golf with three of my friends during my free time..." he paused staring at me.

"Wait, I never knew you paint. It's nice that it runs in the family." I remarked, smiling at him.

"It is one of what I consider a heirloom, asides that I am a middle aged man learning new things and not make sure to be killed before my time by consoling myself into work," we laughed together as he said that. He sure had a good sense of humour. "I have a huge family; my daughter, my old Mum, my two sisters, four nieces and three nephews. Sometimes I like to run away from them by travelling all over the world because I cannot stand them."

I chuckled lightly, grinning from ear to ear as I could relate."I hundred percent can attest to this."

"Really... it's always been work and work for me but I think I find myself learning alot about myself recently. I realise I don't know that much about who I am, like how I am an atheist or how I do not want kids after I had Jamila."

Oh wait, we had so much in common.
I didn't know whether to query further on Jamila's mother, it might be too much of a sensitive subject.

"Wow! I think I must apologise to you," I let out in awe.

"What? Why?" he asked.

"There's this perception I had of you, I didn't think you would strike me for an atheist or someone who doesn't want kids anymore."

"I know it's crazy especially in a conservative place like Nigeria but really, I was only able to find out myself in my 40s. I wish I realized earlier though."

"It's okay, better late than never."

In all honesty, I had more questions especially about his daughter and how he had her but it seemed he too was leaving a huge part of himself out of the situation which I understood. It was our first day of meeting alone and pouring too much information would feel pushy so I didn't think to ask any further.

Now done with our food, I sipped my soda from the straw to disengage from another fallen awkward silence between us. Soon, I heard him chuckle whilst he shooked his head, I raised my eyebrow curious as to what must have made him laugh.

"Are you always this way?"

"What way?"

"Dissociative."

"What? No."

"Not to bombard you with the whole psychoanalysis but you seem like one but I too would love to know you more. You are a very interesting human, Yeside."

I could feel the warmth of blushing crawling from my two cheeks as I heard that. This guy surely knew his way with words.

"Hm, how so?"

"With the little time I have spent with you, I think it's safe to say that I am able to read through who you are."

"Now I am curious, what sort of human do you think I am when you see me? Oya list them." I urged.

"Eccentric. Although not that, that is a necessarily a bad trait but it makes you unique. I can tell you are way different in the crowd and by the look of things, you hate that you stand out. Perhaps a socially awkward woman?"

"Whoa! I am going to have to stop you there. I am not socially awkward, I just don't like people."

"Potato potato."

"Maybe a tinnie-tiny bit but I think I come correct socially."

"Lies, I don't think you think that you blend in."

"Are you projecting, Mr. Madaki?"

"I am just an honest man."

"Nice try but you don't know me." I uttered defensively, taking my bag and rose up from the plastic chair angrily to leave.