"You want me to talk about Devon?" Corrie cocks his head to the side. "I always talk about Devon. Aren't you sick of hearing about him?"

Jennifer shakes her head. "I'm not talking about right now. I'm talking about everything you guys have been through. You talk about having all this history with him. I think it's time that we talk about it."

"Where do you want me to start?" Corrie purses his lips out.

"Where every good love story starts: the beginning."

"It was the beginning of junior year, and I was an absolute slut. I can't deny it. Noah, he'd just been sentenced and I was fucking pissed. I knew what he did was the worst thing ever, but I mean, I was barely fifteen. I--I thought he was the love of my life or some shit. I didn't know any better." Corrie feels a tear slip out of his eye. He quickly wipes it away before it gets the chance to slip down his face.

Jennifer slides a box of tissues to Corrie's side of the coffee table. "Continue whenever you're ready."

"So, I was fucking everything that wanted me back: freshman, sophomores, seniors, girls, boys. I didn't care. Sex made me feel better when the beer didn't. Plus, by August my dad was drinking more and more because my mom had made a surprise visit and then left again. Anyway, we were at this party; some sophomore on the JV football team was hosting it. I was fucking wasted. I had to have had sex with at least two different people by midnight."

"You remember all of this even though you were intoxicated?"

"Nope. Devon loves to hold how we met against me, though." Corrie laughs faintly. "Wish I could remember."

Jennifer just smiles at him and nods her head. She's almost impatient to hear the story.

"So, Devon says that I bumped into him and practically begged him to let me fuck him. I feel as though it didn't happen that way, but whatever. I guess something happens that makes him want to take my sorry ass home. I wake up the next morning with no memory of what happened." Corrie smiles just a little at the memory that he technically can't call his.

"Continue, please." Jennifer hopes that she masked her desperation.

"The following Monday, I'm still a little hungover. I'm tired, my dad comes home fucked up with a nineteen year old girl on the couch naked, and I'm annoyed as hell at everyone. It's halfway through fifth period, I'm sound asleep in the back of my chemistry when this chirpy voice from behind me wakes me up. He asks me about the shit on the board, and I almost laugh because he really thinks that I have any fucking clue what's going on. He smiled--it was so goddamn cute--and I knew that I was down right then and there."

Jennifer raises an eyebrow. "In past sessions you've talked about how you couldn't commit. How did you know right then?"

Corrie sighs. "I couldn't commit, but that didn't mean I didn't know that I was going to fall for him. I could see it coming. I could feel it."

Nodding her head, Jennifer smiles. "Please go on."

"When I went to practice that day, he was there for tryouts. I felt like it was fate, at that time I thought fate was something big, so I just thought that I should try to talk to him. He was in the JV locker room for football, so I go waltzing in scaring the utter shit out of every other guy in there. They all look at me like I'm crazy, covering up whatever they were showing. I don't know why, it's not like I gave a shit. The only person who didn't seem freaked out to see me was him. Of all goddamn people, he just grinned at me."

"How did that make you feel?" Jennifer asks with a slight smile on her face. This feels so unreal and so cliche, but it also is so intriguing. Through all of the sessions she and Corrie have had, they only talked about the bad parts of Corrie's life. Maybe here and there they would talk about good things that happened to him, but for the most part it was the bad he's done or that's been done to him.

"It made me feel so fucking estatic, yanno? I was like 'holy fucking shit, this is fate trying to tell us both that we're meant to be something...whether that something is boyfriends or just friends is to be determined'. After that we just started talking, texting, FaceTiming, hanging out. When I wasn't with Bradley, I was with Devon. It felt so surreal, too good to be true, perfect." Corrie bites his lip thinking about it all. Those memories are parts of his relationship with Devon that he won't forget, not even when everything is going to shit.

"When did things start to become romantic?"

Corrie chews on his lower lip before answering. "Probably a month or so after we initially met."

"How was the beginning of your relationship?"

"It was fragile and tender and scary. I was afraid that Noah might come back and ruin it, I was afraid of what people would say, I was scared and so was he." Corrie scratches the back of his ear. Jennifer swears she sees a bit of pink in Corrie's cheeks.

"But it wasn't technically a relationship? You guys weren't exclusive?"

With a shrug, Corrie says lightly, "it wasn't exclusive, but we both knew. Neither of us were fucking other people. Until I fucked that up." Corrie shakes his head, eyes gazing at his shoes.

"What happened?"

"It was so stupid," Corrie bites on his index finger. "I was insecure, I was pissed, and I was confused. There was this girl, Whitney, not that it's important. Anyway, I slept with her. A lot. I was just so fucking pissed at everything. I was angry that Devon was Devon. More importantly, I was mad at myself. Because I couldn't handle that relationship. Because I was more fucked up than him."

"You self-sabotaged," Jennifer concludes. Corrie sighs but nods his head.

"I think that's the only thing I really knew how to do at that point. Noah was still haunting me with letters, in my dreams, and so was his mother. I didn't want Devon to leave me, so I was pushing him out the door."

"That obviously didn't work," Jennifer muses with a head tilt. She uncrosses and recrosses her legs as she waits for Corrie's response. Her hands itch to write stuff down.

"He was stubborn." A smile works its way onto his face. "He was upset and pissed and really fucking confused too. I think in some way he sort of understood, like he almost got it. Plus he just fucked me over later on."

"Really?" Jennifer hopes she masked her surprise. Corrie never talked or gave any hints that Devon fucked him over. Jennifer should've known because people always hurt each other, it's simple human nature, but in someway she wanted Devon to be the person who didn't hurt Corrie because it would've been a better narrative if Devon saved Corrie.

But, people can't save people who just want to drown.

"I guess technically, he's still fucking me over," Corrie stares at the ceiling, observing it for the thousandth time.

"How might that be?"

"Devon's parents are homophobic. It's not religion like my fucking mom, it's just they don't get it. Maybe they would if he told them."

A small "oh" is all that slips through Jennifer's lips. She's not quite sure how to respond to that.

"Yeah..." Corrie shrugs his shoulders. "So, there's kind of a roadblock. Devon's still in the closet, and I totally understand. I do. But, it's hard for the both of us. We both have these issues."

"Let's talk about what happened after Devon found out about Whitney," Jennifer suggests hoping to wrap everything Corrie wants to share with the time she has left.

"He was angry, like he should've been. We spent some time apart. But eventually, he forgave me. He told me he didn't want either of us sleeping with other people, but we weren't boyfriends who held hands in the hallways and met the parents. Despite everything I wanted, we couldn't have it. We don't have a label, not even now."

"What does that feel like?" Jennifer asks, brows furrowing together. "Is it secure? Do you feel secure in your relationship."

"I've never had time to think about it," Corrie says truthfully. "There's never been time, I think. We've always been go, go, go. There was always something within our relationship that needed fixing. There were always fights, and break ups, and crying, and self-sabotage. Maybe for a little bit it would all calm down, but something else in our lives would fall apart."

"How many break ups have you guys gone through?"

"I don't know," Corrie plays with his bottom lip using his thumb and index finger. "I'd say three or four?"

Jennifer nods her head, expecting an answer like that. "Yet each time you guys would end up back together, no explanations needed? No apologies? Just back to the same patterns?"

"I mean, I guess so. Probably the most with our latest break up. That's how it went down."

"Tell me about that break up. Explain what went through your head."

Corrie takes a breath. What did go through his head? "He told me he thought he was falling in love with me."

"And that's why you broke up?" Jennifer tilts her head to the right.

"He was drunk and falling apart. He told me, I freaked out and I left him. I didn't give him an explanation, even though he deserved it." Corrie's fists clench.

"What was going on outside of the relationship? Was this where you were living with him?"

"Yes. We were playing house. His parents thought I was his best friend since they had seen me before. They took me in." Corrie sighs before checking the clock. Only ten more minutes left.

"So you packed up and went to Bradley's, correct?" Corrie nods his head in confirmation. "What happened after."

"He demanded answers like any rational human being, but I couldn't give him any. It was everything. It was him falling in love with me, it was me on drugs and alcohol, it was me giving up." Corrie's hands tremble when he looks down at them. "I didn't want him to know what he said because he would say something that made sense to me and I would go back. I didn't want to go back. I wanted to party, and I wanted a excuse to do it."

Jennifer shakes her head, trying to silently tell Corrie she gets it. "And now? Do you love him?"

The million dollar question. The million fucking dollar question for all of them.

Corrie opens his mouth to say something, but abrutly closes it. His eyes close, and when they reopen a tear slips out of one eye and down his cheek. "How can I love him when I don't even know how to love myself?"

Then they sit there in silence. Complete and utter silence. Jennifer is searching for the right words, and Corrie's hoping she says them.

After what feels like eternity, Jennifer speaks. "I'm going to say something that you're not going to like, Corrie."

"Which is?" Corrie asks impatiently. Maybe she'll say exactly what he needs to hear. She always knows what to say.

"I think you and Devon are toxic for each other. You guys are constantly hurting each other. It's not physical abuse, it's not verbal abuse, but it's not what either of you needs right now. You both deserve a relationship that doesn't involve self-sabotage and break ups and crying all the time.

"No relationship is perfect, but no relationship should be such a struggle for the both of you. I think inside you both know it's not working, but you're trying so hard to force it. Maybe destiny pushed you guys together to show you what a relationship shouldn't be like." Jennifer muses the last part. She didn't mean to say it aloud. Not to Corrie's face. When she looks up, Corrie's face is wet with tears that he doesn't bother to wipe away.

"Would destiny really be that cruel? Give you someone to spectacular only to rip them away, just to teach you some kind of lesson?" Corrie closes his eyes and shakes his head. "It's so unfair. I didn't ask for any of this, so why'd I get it?"

"Here's some philosophy I live by. It's not scientifically proven, but it's helped me through relationships I thought I would be in forever. I don't know if it will help you at all, Corrie, but I think you should hear me out.

"People will come and go, it's human nature. It's also human nature to hurt others. Some people are worth that trouble and that pain. But, when it gets to a point where you both know that it's too much, it's time to let go. It's time to set that person free and vice versa.

"It's not because you don't love or like them, or because you want them to live without you for some cold reason. It's because you know that there is no easy choice, there is no fun choice, but there is a right choice. It's because you know that letting them go isn't saving them or going to make their life easier. It's all because you need to do it, for the both of you.

"You're not being selfless, you're being selfish. You're giving yourself the best chance possible to heal. And maybe when you've both healed and done some growing up, you'll find yourself in some bar years later watching the football game, drinking beer, and starting over." Jennifer concludes her speech with a smile.

"You're saying to let him go so I can find him again the future?" Corrie asks with a skeptical look on his face.

"No. I'm saying to let him go so you can work on yourself without the burden of someone else's problems on top of your own. And maybe if fate's in a good mood and you did something to make it happy, you'll find him again. And perhaps it will be the closure you both need, or perhaps it'll be like starting all over again."

__________

☒ - unedited

What do you guys think of how Cevon met? Is Corrie in love with Devon? And then their break ups and problems? Do you agree with Jennifer that they're toxic? What will Corrie do next chapter? Is he going to break up with Devon or not?

Please tell me if you see any mistakes, I'm the queen of typos.

IMPORTANT NOTE: New Baby Fat Title and blurbs below, along with the synopsis & epigraph. Here I present:

Broken Bones

"This life is fucked up."

"Tell me about it."

•••

Bradley Johnson has never lived up to his parents expectations. He's never looked the way they wanted, or taken interest in choreography like they had prayed for. He didn't fit in the mold his parents and society had created for him. However, he's always wanted to make his mother proud of him. When he learns that the only way to make his mother gratified that she has him for a son is to become the person she wants, he'll do anything to do just that. Even if it means killing himself in the process.

Corrie Hughes is considered to be a few things: a narcissistic, cliche, party and player of a guy who can only fuck people over. How can he prove anyone wrong if he's left with the belief that he's the boy with a past riddled with mistakes? When his party ways end badly, he's left to deal with the consequences in a rehab center with a new diagnoses, a new therapist, and a new way of life he must learn to cope with.

In order for them to both learn from their mistakes and be able to move on with their lives, they both have to make it out alive, which seems to grow harder and harder to do with each obstacle thrown their way. If they're any sorts of lucky, the only injuries they'll end up with is a few broken bones.

•••

s y n o p s i s

Everyone is always changing.

Sometimes it's a slow change, something that builds up for a long time within us. It's mental. Maybe we change for someone. But maybe it's because deep down we know what we do is wrong.

Sometimes it's sudden. It's something like getting a haircut. We do it for ourselves, make us feel good.

And a lot of the time it's us maturing and worrying about different things. We care less or more about issues outside of our lives. We go from caring about shallow things to deeper things of life and death. Or vice versa.

People act like change is bad; like it ruins us. and they use that against us. But change isn't good or bad, it isn't as black and white as it seems. change is change.

If you don't change, you don't grow.

We all change, whether it's considered good or bad.

e p i g r a p h

" it is part of the
human experience to feel pain
do not be afraid
open yourself to it "

— evolving ; rupi kaur

•••

OTHER NOTE(s):

1) I have a cover shop & premades open! Go take a look! Payment is simple & so is requesting!

2) I have a "Rants, Writing Tips, Life Advice & Galore" book up. The title is self-explanatory. You should head on over there if you're interesting in getting to know me a bit more.

3) Sorry this chapter & authors note is so long!

Chapter Dedication: @Samantha0552 Thank you so much for voting on all my stories! You're much appreciated!

Read, vote, comment, and please share!

Next update: honestly, I don't know. I thought I was going to feel good enough to write after my surgery but I wasn't feeling great at all.

Teaser: Corrie must make the hard choice of breaking up or staying with Devon. A choice that will impact him for the rest of the book.

Quick notes:
[ 1  ] predictions, thoughts?
[ 2 ] PM me if you need anything at all. Writing advice, advice advice, a review of my book, you want a review, you need to rant, you wanna talk about stuff. Just hit me up.
[ 3 ] twenty votes & ten comments?
[ 4 ] i love you and i'll see you soon. ♡♡