When I wake up, there's a lot to take in. There's the raving pain in my head, the ache around my body, the beeping, the voices, the smell and the unease. I struggle to sit up and when I finally do, I find Greg sitting in front of me on a chair. His head is resting on his fist and his elbow is propped on the handle of the chair. His eyes are watching me in a way that I feel my soul being harassed. His lips are cracked and there's a cut on his cheeks. There's blood on his blue shirt and his cheeks look tear stained. I already know what's up, I'm in a hospital and Greg is looking at me with those eyes that are struggling to conceal rage. It doesn't take a genius to figure it out.

"Greg."

He blinks once and sits up. "You're fine. The baby's fine too." He laughs at this. "The baby. Do you know you are not pregnant?"

I consider feigning shock and confusion.  In one of those Telemundo soap operas, Part of Me to be exact, one of the characters took this drug that made it seem as though she's pregnant. I consider going for that but I know it's over. Game over, it was time to show my cards.

"Greg."

"You should have seen me," he says. "when you were being rolled in, all I could think was 'God, please spear my babies.' You know, I said even if the baby dies, it wouldn't matter because I'll still have you and that's all that matters. I told the doctor to try his hardest to save the both of you. I told him my babies had to be fine." Greg is crying now and tears are flowing down my face. I don't know what to say. "The doctor comes back and tells me you're fine. I'm asking about my baby, the child you're carrying for me. I'm asking about our baby and he's saying there's no baby. All I could think about was we lost another baby and I'm thinking of ways to comfort you because I thought this baby meant the world to you. Only the doctor is telling me you didn't lose the baby, you didn't lose our baby because there was nothing to lose. You weren't pregnant."

The pause that follows allows Greg to cry harder. I check once but no stone of tears is forth coming. Greg crying sounds eerily similar to the squeak of a lose bolt in a door. I'm crying with him but I'm suspecting we are crying for different reasons.

"All those times you said you were pregnant, were you really pregnant?"

More tears flow down my cheeks. "I'm sorry."

"Were you pregnant all those times?"

"No."

Greg's eyes roam the room and I know I'm losing him quickly.

"Babe, I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me, I–"

"What did you use the money for?"

At this point, I wish I used the money for something benefiting like donating to charity or paying for some poor kid's hospital bills or maybe buying a house for a widow and her children. Anything but using it to buy cosmetics and clothes. I calculate the money and realise I had money for the cheapest Benz model but I chose clothes instead.

"Clothes."

He looks at me and shakes his head. "Clothes? Why didn't you just ask for money, I'd have given it to you. You chose to lie to me."

"I didn't want to come off as inconsiderate. I just... I don't know. It felt smart at that time."

"You didn't want to come off as inconsiderate. You made as much as I did. You had all these writing jobs lined up."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"Me too."

Greg stands up from his seat and walks up to me. He takes my left hand and slips the engagement ring from my finger. "I don't think I can get married to you."

My world falls apart and I start to beg for forgiveness more aggressively than I did before. Greg goes to stand up but I throw myself at him. My hands are locked behind his back and my head is on his chest. I'm looking a mess but all I can think about is how I'll be unable to function without him. I'm crying and pleading that he forgives me. I'm asking that he doesn't leave me, I'm trying to explain that it was a mistake, all of it and it had been the work of the devil. I explain my readiness to tell the devil to get behind me when the temptation comes again.

Greg hugs me and I cry harder. He clutches to me and I try to find a way to bear the hurt for both of us. He's hurt, I hurt him and I'm sorry for it. My happiness builds up and I'm reassuring myself that everything is fine. We're Greg and Chizaram, the power couple. We're fine. Greg pulls away and looks me in the eyes.

"I forgive you but," he says and my joy starts to shake. Why is there a but? Everyone knows that after buts, nothing good comes. "I can't forget, Zaram. I can't forget the nights I stayed up mourning kids that didn't exist, I can't forget the nights I cried after you announced each pregnancy, I can't forget the inadequacy you made me feel for not being able to provide enough to stop you from aborting babies. I can't forget the guilt I felt for thinking I made you a murderer. I can't forget you lied to me."

"Greg, one chance," I plead. "One more chance to get it right. I promise I won't do anything wrong again, I won't lie, I swear I'll get it right this time."

"You had your chance, Zaram. You chose to screw it up."

It's like that scene in Titanic where Rose is floating on that wood and Jack is in the water frozen. The part where the boat comes to check for survivors. I'm Jack, drowning in cold water unable to feel anything. I'm also Rose, looking at Jack hoping it's a classic joke and he'll swim right back up. Now, this reference probably doesn't help you understand anything. But that's how I feel, utterly confuse, drained and tired.

Greg stands up and I do too only I'm kneeling on the bed. The pain I feel in my body is nothing compared to the hurting my heart. I hold the edge of Greg's shirt with both my hands.

"Greg, please. I'm sorry, I really am. I won't ever repeat it. I promise on everything I am, I'll do better. Greg, please forgive me. I'm begging you. Just one more chance."

Greg grab my hands and pry my hand away from his shirt. "I can't. Don't come for your things, I'll send them."

He walks out and I scream as loud as I can. I want to pull the IV wire out of my hand but a nurse is holding my hand. She wasn't there before, where did she come from? Why is she stopping me from going after Greg? More ladies dress in white gowns rush in and Greg stands at the door watching, tears in his eyes. Something stings my hand but I'm too focused on Greg, too focused on getting him to forgive me. I feel tiredness come over me. I'm trying to fight the sleep that clouds my eyes, I'm trying to get Greg to say he forgives me but it's useless. I'm not as strong as I claim to be. The sleep pulls me under.