I wake up and look at the clock. "9:30.." I say to myself. I lay down in my bed for a while as I look up at the ceiling. I finally decided to get up and get ready for today. I stand up from my bed, I looked out my window and see that it's cloudy. I take a quick shower and head over to my room with a towel around my body. But I was stopped short when I hear a knock at the door. I didn't think about what I looked like and I just headed over to the door.

Gosh I'm stupid.

I open it holding my towel tight to my chest. He looks at me and his eyes widen, what? Has he never seen a girl half naked before? "Oh... Um would you like me to come back later??" He asks looking away from me. I close the door a bit and stand behind it. "I thought that you were coming at 2??" I say from behind the door as I peek my head out. He finally looks at me. It was cute how respectful he was. "I thought I'd come and take you to breakfast. But I can see that I came at the wrong time... I'll come back at the time I said I would...","no!" I say stepping out completely from the door.

He looks into my eyes. There's not many guys who would do that. "No... It's fine. Please come in." I say wrapping myself tighter in my towel. He looks down away from my barely clothed body and then walks into my apartment. I close the door and he sits on the couch. He wore a black coat and a white tee shirt. He looked at me and I tighten up the grip on my towel. "I'm gonna go a change now..." I say heading over to my room. I close and lock the door.

Many thoughts ran through my head, why did he want to see me earlier? Was he really concerned about me eating breakfast? It was much too early for him to have feelings for me, right? I quickly get dressed and grab my bag. I head out of the room and I'm greeted with his unique smile. "You look great." He says. I look down at my outfit, did I really? A knitted sweater and leggings? My hair still looked frizzy though I brushed it. I look up at him and smile, "Thanks, you do too." I say.

Because he did, he had a good sense of style. "Shall we?" He asks, I nod and slip on my flats that were next to the door before following him outside. "Oh! I almost forgot to tell you that you left your groceries yesterday." I hear him chuckle as I lock up my apartment. "I saw that, my friends were pretty upset." He says. I look at him, "You live with your friends?" I ask, being a nosey shit. "Yeah, we live in a dorm." My eyebrows raise, "You go to college?" I ask.

He chuckles, "Of course you wouldn't recognize who I am, many Americans know nothing about people like me." I look at him in confusion, was I missing something? Was he important to Korea? Wait, obviously he's important, all people are important. But is he some sort of person many people look up to? "I'm confused." I say as we walk down the street. "Don't worry about it, maybe I'll tell you some other time. It's kind of better the less you know anyways." He says. Now I'm really curious.

He chuckles when he sees my confused face, yeah, I look like a dog when I'm surprised. "Just forget it." He says. How can I forget it? I want to know who he is. It's quiet for a while as I follow him to the location he decided to bring me. "Aren't you curious as to where I'm taking you?" He asks, I look up at him and nod. "There's a cafe near a really nice location where a lot of people like to go." He explains. "Are you hungry." When I'm about to tell him no, my stomach kicks in by growling. "Yes." I say simply.

"Don't strain yourself out now, who I am isn't very important." He says. My eyebrows go up. "Everyone's important." I tell him. He grins, his hand raising and rubbing the back of his neck. "The thing is, what I'm doing now, I won't be doing pretty soon." He explains. So his job is ending. I nod. "That's why I'm telling you not to be too curious about it, because it'll be irrelevant." He explains. I finally decide to let it go, since he seemed to really want me not to know. I'm sure in time he'd tell me.

We make it to a cafe, it's nice. We head inside and ordered some breakfast before sitting down. Our conversation had drifted off into a decision I never thought I'd have to think about, but of course he had asked. Our food arrived and we eat surprisingly fast.

"No but really." he says as he reaches over the table for my hand. "If you were to fall in love with South Korea. Would you stay?" I look down at his hand on top of mine. The truth was, he became real touchy when we talked more about our personal lives. I didn't mind it too much. He knew more about me than.. I knew about myself. He had figured me out pretty quick. He was just a little harder to read, because there was something he wasn't telling me.

"I'd have to think about it." I say as I slip my hand out from under his, the thought of never going back home was a big step for me. Also the fact was that I didn't think I'd be falling in love any time soon. I look up at him. He had taken his hand away. He just looked at me. "I guess something really great would have to come around in order to make me stay..." I say speaking the truth. A small grin peeks out from the corner of him mouth. I look down and continue to finish up my breakfast.

**

"So where are we going?" I ask as he pulls me out of the restaurant. "Have you ever seen Cherry Blossom Trees in person?" He asks as he holds onto my hand. Dang it, already feel my hands becoming clammy. But he held onto my hand anyways. "No. But I bet they're beautiful." He looks back at me. "They are." It wasn't long until we made it to a large path with cherry blossom trees draped over it. It was unbelievably beautiful. I'd never forget this.

He took me to a nearby bakery. "This is my favorite bakery.. They have many pastries you can try." I look through the glass at all the pretty pastries. It was as if the Baker threw sugar in the air and it stayed there, it smelt sweet. I smile at the cute cakes shaped as animals. But I wasn't very hungry.

He ended up buying me a hot chocolate and we shared a little cake, wow this guy can eat. We finished breakfast not too long ago. We sit at a table in the bakery, it was definitely warmer than outside. "You know.. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I'm just.. I get all sentimental when it comes to love." He says, I guess he's talking about what he brought up at the Cafe. I look up at him from drinking my cup of hot chocolate. I'm about to answer when he chuckles. I stare at him confused.

He gets his napkin and wipes my top lip. Awe crap.. that's embarrassing. I just love to embarrass myself don't I? First the stupidity of walking up to the door in my fricken towel.. and now this. Why is this guy making me a wreck? My face instantly heats up, I'm such a kid when it comes to whipped cream. That smile pulls on his lips, ugh.. theres something about that smile. I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand though he had already wiped everything. It's a conscious thing.

"Don't be so embarrassed." He chuckles. I bite my bottom lip. He glides his finger on the cake and wipes frosting on his cheek. I laugh at him, what is he doing?? I shake my head. "Why'd you do that?" I ask. He shrugs, "I felt left out." His answer makes me laugh again. I wipe my finger on his cheek and take some icing before pulling my finger to my mouth. My action seemed to surprise him, his lips part and it was like his eyes had lit up.

There was this urge to lick the rest off his cheek, but we barely met yesterday. And that's not appropriate, I just met him yesterday. I chuckle and look at him. "You have frosting on your face." I joke. He smiles, grabbing his napkin and cleans his cheek. "And again.. I didn't mean to-." He's still trying to talk about it. "No. Don't worry about it Jungkook. Everything is fine. You didn't make me feel uncomfortable." I reassure him.

I look down at my sweater than now had some wiped cream on it, great. "Actually, it made me think a lot." I confess, it's true. I really was, what if I meet a guy in Korea and he changed my life? Wouldn't it be great to have a life somewhere new? To start over? "Really?" He asks, I look back up at him. I nod at him, "Though I don't believe too much in love." I say. He grins. "Yeah.. me neither." He agrees. He ended up finishing the cake and I finish my hot chocolate, we head out to the path again and I take in the smell.

It was very different from California, everything about Korea was new. Different, in a good way. This time he didn't touch my hand, and we walked down together while sharing more events in our life. Much like him, I have secrets too..

**
Months pass

I've realized that the Cherry blossom path was our place. He had showed me many beautiful sites, but this one was my favorite. It reminded me so much about how we got to know each other and how we grew as friends. We'd go out five times a week, but he'd leave early a lot of days because of that secret he still had. We had talked about a lot of things, even still since we've known each other for a couple of months.  Actually, five months to be exact.

But, at many times when we'd go out, I still didn't know if it was a date or not. And I still wondered whether or not if we were actually together. I wouldn't mind if we were just friends, but if we were something more I'd want to know. There was always this strange thing that happened to my heart when I was around him. And I know that I truly have feelings for him. We actually haven't kissed so I think we're just friends, that this was a one way feeling. He's been wanting to show me the cherry blossoms at sunset, and this is where we were at this moment.

My eyes widen at the sight. "Oh its so beautiful." The orange orb in the sky and the colorful rays that streamed from it, giving the trees and hills a glow. It's unbelievably beautiful. I look at him and he's looking at me, "Sure is." he says staring into my eyes making my heart pound. He turns towards me, he was acting different than normal. "I meant the view silly." I tell him,  he smiles slightly, "Exactly, my view is beautiful." He was acting strange, and I'm taken by surprise when he lowers his head and touches my face with one hand and with the other he wrapped around my waist.

He wanted to kiss me? But I don't move, I have been waiting all this time for him to do this. I've waited. His breath fans my lips, I hadn't noticed that he was inches away from me. I've been thinking so much that I didn't notice that he was already close to me.

Is this the moment? Is this the moment I've been waiting for, to show me that there was something. "Jungkook..." I whisper as he slowly approaches. He pauses as if teasing me. I gently pull his face towards me, his lips locked against mine automatically.

He was gentle and his lips were soft. He pulled me closer to him as he continued to kiss me. God, how I wanted to just die right here at his feet. My heart was going to burst out of my chest. I smile against his lips causing him to smile back, he tilts his head the other way and reconnects our lips again. This time my arms wrapping around his neck, I haven't had a kiss like this in forever. The cold wind blows between us causing me to shiver. He pulls away from me slowly, as if he didn't want to. "You cold?" He asks in a low whisper, his nose against my cheek. My face was hot from all the friction, and I was blushing really hard. "No.." I say. He stands up right and looks me in the eyes as he takes off his coat. He wraps it around me.

He smiles, "You're beautiful, you know that?" I look away from him. "What's wrong?" He asks reaching for my hand, I pull my hand away from his reach. "Abby..." He says pulling me towards him. "Do you mean it?" I ask feeling extremely insecure, old unwanted memories fled into my head. He moves his face in front of mine. "Abby... Of course I mean it. Why would I lie about that?"

Because you kissed me, because you've made me feel and you know it. I push out of his arms and start walking down the road toward the shadows of the cherry blossom trees. My voice was shaking and I felt myself on the verge of tears. I feel ugly, I feel worthless.

He comes after me. I couldn't get it out of my head, the way he said it, the way he had hurt me. I was violated, I was meant to feel pain.

In my jumbled up mind, it made me happy that he cared enough to follow me. If I were in Jungkook's spot I wouldn't follow me, I'm too broken, I'm too insecure, I'm too... me.

And I knew I was messing things up with Jungkook with the way I was acting, I was ruining the moment. The past, in a lot of ways, makes its appearance sometimes when you least want it to. My emotions were everywhere. Even though I've known Jungkook for a couple months now, and we've learned about each other, but it was my secret that he didn't know. I was scared that he'd look at me different.

"Abby. Was it me? I-I'm sorry if I rushed things." I turn towards him, I didn't realize that I was crying. His face dropped into a concerned expression, he stops in his steps. "Abigail.." I wipe my face with the sleeve of my knitted sweater, his coat was so big the sleeves fell to my elbows when I raised them. "Its not you, okay?" I say truly meaning it, because it wasn't him. "Please tell me what's wrong." He says taking a step towards me. I look up at the trees, the pink flowers danced in the wind. I look at him and he's right in front of me, he looked so concerned.

There were little flowers in his hair. "Please, it kills me to see you this way." I walk towards a near by bench. "What if I'm not crying because of something bad?" I sit down. He slowly walks over to me. "Usually when a pretty girl cries its because she's gotten her heart broken..." He sits down next to me. "Heart broken and hurt in the worst way possible." He looks at me. "If you want to talk about it.. You can." he says placing his hand on my thigh.

"But I'm not forcing you.. You don't have to if you don't want to." I take a deep breath and think about the beginning. I felt that it was the right time, he had to know. He should know.

"It was in college." I look at him, my watery eyes drying slowly. He looked at me fully engaged and ready to hear what I had to say. "There was this guy." I look at the floor. "He was.. Cute. Seemed like a good guy, he was smart. I was completely surprised when one day he asked me out after our class period." I look at his hand on my thigh and grab a hold of it. My hands were shaking, he wraps his fingers around around mine.

"He had told me to meet him at his dorm and I saw nothing wrong with it... That night I went to his dorm and he offered me a quick drink before we headed to the restaurant..." I look at him and he's focused on nothing but me. "He had ruffied me and when I woke up he was in the middle of raping me. And he had taken my virginity." My voice cracks and I begin to cry. His eyes slowly water. He uses his free hand to rub my back, comforting me.

"The way he looked at me, a that moment I wanted to die. I wanted it to be a horrible dream. I wish I had never met him" I couldn't sit any longer or I'd cry more.

I stand up with his hand still in mine and he stands up too. "When I was leaving his dorm room he threatened me. If I were to ever report him, he would make sure to kill me..." I start walking back the way we came. "He said. He said that he would spread horrible rumors about me and ruin my life, he even threatened to kill me." I just wanted to go home and cry. He stopped me in me tracks and pulled me close, hugging me. I wrapped my arms around him, burying my face in his shirt.

"I'm so sorry Abby..." he whispered sincerely. I shake my head. "There's nothing you should be sorry about, Jungkook." I tell him. "Me calling you beautiful triggered horrible memories, that's why I'm sorry." He says. I look up at him, "Don't beat yourself up about it Jungkook, I'm just a broken girl." I tell him.

He looks down at me. "Tell me what he'd tell you." He pleads. "Every time he was done raping me he'd tell me that I was beautiful." He stared into my eyes making me feel safe as I told him all this. "When we were about the graduate, I reported him and he was arrested and taken to jail for a year." It was crazy how comfortable I was with him, and how I told him all this. "So you moved here... To get away from him, when he'd get released." He spoke the truth, I nodded.

Was it cowardly to want to run away from your problems? To want to feel safe? Or was it all an illusion? That I wasn't safe, that I'd never be safe and I'd be hurt again.

"I'm so sorry that I ruined today." I say. He shook his head slowly. I felt like a puny bug, flying around Jungkook's ear. One of those stupid boba flies that like to fly in your eyes. That's how I felt, I ruin everything all the time. With the words I say and my decisions to share things I shouldn't.

"No. No, you didn't." He says touching my face, I knew he meant it. I can feel it in his fingertips. "A day spent with you can never be ruined. " he says looking into my puffy eyes. "But I-" He interrupts me. "Just accept that I like being around you." He says placing his thumb on my bottom lip. "I'll take you home." He says as he grabs a hold of my hand and we start walking towards my house.

The walk home was quiet, but comforting. He had reached for me hand and intertwined out fingers. I'm not going to lie, it bought a smile to my face. Jungkook is the ideal person to have around when you're sad, or need comforting.

I felt bad that he wasn't wearing a coat, it was pretty cold. He had given me his coat, and when I tried to give it back he would stop me. His coat smelt amazing by the way. He didn't have a strong Cologne smell, he smelt like clean powder. I liked it.

**

I unlock the door of my apartment and I turn towards him. I give him his coat and he takes it back. He grins at me. "Good night.. Abby." He says taking a step back. The light from the sun set making him look elegant in his movement. "Good night.." I turn to look inside my dark apartment, it was pitch black. I realized that I didn't want to be alone, I'm in a vulnerable state. I turn towards him. "Jungkook..." I say and he stops in his tracks and faces me. "Yes?" He asks. "Will you... Stay with me for a bit?" He stares at me.

"I mean.. You don't have to.." I say looking down and brushing my hair behind my ear. "No.." He slowly walks towards me. "If you want me to, I will. I know it must be hard for you to be alone right now." I look up at him and he was right in front of me. We head inside and he reaches for the light switch. I touch his hand, "Leave the light off." I say grabbing a hold of his hand. I lead him to my room. "What are..." I look at him as I sit on my bed.

"Just lay with me... Please." The light from my window was the only thing that was giving the small room life. "Okay" he says sitting next to me. I lay my head against him, I can hear his heart beat quicken. I look at him and has already looking at me. I touch his face and press my lips against his. He didn't pull away from me, more like he leaned into it. He places his hand on the small of my back. I pull him towards me as I lay back in my bed. He hesitantly follows my lead.

"Abby..." He whispers as he's on top of me. "Jungkook..." I didn't know what else to say. He stops kissing me and pulls away. His hair draped over his eyebrows. He looks at me. He still had a concerned look on his face. I don't know how long we stayed there looking back at each other. He finally lays down next to me and he pulls me close. That's all I wanted. This was enough. He was enough.

I listen to his breathing. His long slim fingers softly running through my hair, my hands gripping his coat. Just remembering the past made me emotional. I tried to fight back tears, but it was no use. My breath hitches as I quietly begin to sob. "Its okay to cry.." He whispers. He pulls me closer and his hand rubbing my back.

I felt so weak. But it felt okay to be unstable at this moment, like I had said before.. Jungkook is one of those people who makes you feel comfortable when you're sad. Not just that, this was the first time I was in bed with a boy I liked. He made me feel secure, and my heart felt weird around him. I wasn't sure what love was, but it made me wonder if that's what I'm feeling...

-------------------------------
Hey!! Revised!

This chapter of definitely longer and I added a lot.

Hope you enjoyed the revised chapter!!

Thank you all for reading :)

~ Authornim