i wonder sometimes if you notice
how i forget to breathe for a moment
when your hair falls on your eyes

if you see me as i see you
if you can make out the figure of eight
i trace on your wrist with my thumb

if your can hear the pause of my heartbeat when our eyes meet

if you can feel me leaning towards you everytime we walk side by side

i wonder if you know
i write about you

i wonder what you'd think if you knew

i wonder

i wonder what would happen
if i said these things out loud

i wonder if i can ever tell you my truth

i wonder what would happen
if i didn't

— is it better to speak or die?