Sorry if I update at inconvenient times, I sleep from 9pm-5am and just update when I wake up

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"What are you wearing?" I asked.

Frank frowned and looked down at his hoodie that had 'cunt' written on it in white.

"Take that off," I said. "Wear a sweater."

Frank sighed and went upstairs before coming back with a dark blue sweater.

"Better?" He asked and I nodded. "Well, Bert should be here soon."

I nodded, tidying everything up. Frank kept telling me that everything was fine but I was worrying too much, I felt a little bit sick almost. The doorbell rang and I nearly jumped out of my socks.

"Don't worry, Gerard, this is gonna be fine," he said.

I nodded and we went over to open the door. We smiled and shook hands with Bert as he stepped inside.

"So, I checked out the area and it seems pretty nice," he said. "The schools are really nice, too. It's a really good community."

I nodded. "That's a big reason why I moved here, the schools. And because it's a really safe area."

Bert nodded and looked around.

"Now, I just have a little checklist to go through and some questions," he said, pulling out a clipboard. "Alright, well, can I see the kitchen?"

I nodded and led him in. He looked at the fridge and inside some of the drawers.

"I was gonna babyproof some of the cabinets and drawers that needed it," I said.

Bert nodded and looked out into the backyard.

"Pretty big backyard," he said. "And it's completely fenced in?"

"Yes," I said.

We walked around the house and got up to the nursery.

"You have everything set up already?" He asked.

"Yeah, I-I just really want a child," I said. "We want a child. And, well, you know I've already tried coming to the agency."

Bert nodded and tested opening the window.

"Can I see the bathroom?" He asked.

We went into the bathroom and he looked around at the bathtub and the toilet, as well as under the sink to see what kind of dangerous cleaning products could possibly be kept there.

"Where do you keep your cleaning products?" he said.

"In the laundry room downstairs where the door is usually kept shut and I'll put baby proofing on the cabinet when the baby starts walking or getting into things," I said.

"Good," he said. "Also toddlers may get into toilet paper too. Not usually dangerous but I don't think you'll enjoy cleaning up the mess."

I smiled softly, nodding my head.

"And I'm sure you know about other things like bathing and teeth brushing and things like that," he said.

"Of course," Frank said. "I'll probably be doing most of the baths, Gerard gets really scared and overprotective and he always gets worried when bathing his niece because he's scared that he might hurt her. I think it's adorable, sweetheart."

I forced a smile on my face as I looked at him and he kissed my cheek.

"I love you," I said.

"Love you too," Frank said with a mocking smile.

Thankfully Bert believed that it was all genuine, smiling as he watched us.

"Do you keep any guns in the house?" He asked as we continued walking around.

"No, no guns," I denied.

"I noticed that the coffee table downstairs is glass so you should be a little weary of that," he said. "And you should get a baby gate for these stairs, you can never be too careful."

I nodded as he looked at the guest bedroom where Frank was actually sleeping before going to the master bedroom.

"Will you two be having a rule that doesn't allow kids in the master bedroom?" He asked. "I know some parents have that rule so they just have a private room."

"No, they'll be let in here," I said.

"Alright, well, you want to make sure that the dresser in here is wall mounted too," he said.

"I'll make sure to do that tonight," Frank said.

Bert smiled at the picture of the two of us on the dresser taken when we were kids at the park.

"What are your work hours, Gerard?" He asked.

"Typically nine to five on weekdays, pretty typical," I said.

"Also, Frank, you need to make sure that your guitars are secured into stands or something so the baby doesn't pull it on and make it fall on them," Bert said. "They may not be that big but for a baby they're heavy and can hurt them pretty bad, especially if it hits their head."

"Yeah, we're still getting a bit organized from moving in," Frank said. "I'll make sure that everything is set up fine so the baby doesn't get hurt at all."

"You two already know everything about baby formula and feeding schedules?" Bert asked as we walked downstairs.

"Of course," Frank said.

Well, I do, he doesn't.

He looked around again before finally finishing up the home inspection.

"This went really well," Bert said. "Usually I have a list of things people need to fix and I need to tell them to get window screens and to mount dressers to walls and baby proof their shit. One time this one family literally just had a gun sitting on their coffee table and I had to chew them out."

I smiled and Frank held my hand.

"Well, I am going to get into contact with your family for their interviews and then if that goes well, which I'm sure they will, then I am going to start looking for a couple for you two," he said.

"So we'll just find a pregnant lady and get their baby?" Frank asked.

"Well, it isn't quite that simple," he said. "The mom--or both parents if the father is involved--will want to meet with you and interview you along with other couples who are interested and they will choose which couple they like the most to give their baby too."

"So it's like Hell's Kitchen but with babies," Frank said.

I raised my eyebrows and Bert snickered.

"Well, it's not as dramatic but I guess in a way," he said. "I'll be in touch with you two later, have a nice day."

Bert left and I sighed in relief, falling back on the couch.

"I thought that was going to be so much worse," I said. "I was so fucking worried, oh my god."

"It's fine," he said. "Also, can I borrow your doc martens?"

"Why do you need them?" I asked.

"I have a date," Frank stated.

"Oh, yeah, you can wear them," I said. "Is this a serious date?"

"No, just a Grindr date," he said. "Just some drinks and taking him back home to fuck him."

"Not in my house," I said.

"I don't have an apartment anymore and he said he has a roommate he isn't out to," Frank stated. "I'm getting you a baby."

"Fine just be quiet when you come in because I might be sleeping and please keep it down," I said.

"Will do," he said.

"And please be careful so you don't get caught by Bert or something," I said.

"Yeah, I'm not dumb," he said.

I rolled my eyes and he took off his sweater, revealing the expanse of beautiful tattoos on his chest. I was always jealous, I wish I could get tattoos but I'm too scared of needles but I think they're so beautiful.

"So, how much longer will this take?" Frank asked.

"Probably two or three weeks until the family interviews are done and then finding someone nearby who's pregnant and putting their baby up for adoption," I said.

"Well, I've got some time to pass before I get some ass," he said, looking at his watch while snickering and I knew it was because it rhymed. "I'm gonna write a song with that title, Got Time to Pass Before I Get Some Ass."

I smiled, running a hand through my hair.

"Will you get your guitars set up?" I asked. "Where's that one stand that you used to have? The one that was a big rectangle and held multiple guitars and made of wood."

"It's at my mom's because it just didn't fit well in the apartment," he said.

"Get it because I don't like those little tripod standing ones, the baby will be able to pull it down," I said.

"How long are we going to have to be together?" He asked.

"I don't know yet, it depends on how long the after-adopting interviews and stuff like that takes," I said.

Frank nodded, going upstairs before coming back in a  t-shirt.

"I almost forgot to make the bed in the guest room this morning," he said. "It's a good thing he didn't figure out that's where I sleep."

I turned on the tv, my stomach still twisting a bit nervously but it was starting to calm down.

"I'm gonna go make some coffee, you want some?" He asked.

"Yes," I said. "Thank you."

Frank walked off to the kitchen and I looked nervously at some of his things in the corner. So much mess, so much for my baby to get into.

"I told my mom about what we were doing and she agreed to it but told me it's completely ridiculous," he said.

I nodded, eyeing the mess.

"Oh calm down, I'll get it sorted out before the baby comes," he said. "You don't have to worry about the baby getting hurt because I will have my shit organized by then."

Frank handed me my coffee and I sighed.

"What if it doesn't work?" I asked.

"Are you kidding me? We've already gotten through the hardest part," he said. "It's gonna be fine, we've got this."

"Yeah, we do," I mumbled. "But—"

"No more buts," Frank said. "Well, except the one I'm getting tonight."

"No more butt jokes," I said.

"But I think he would have a nice butt, he's pretty cute in his profile pictures," he said.

"Just letting you know now that once the baby is here you aren't allowed to bring home your one night stands," I said.

"Yeah, well, whatever," he muttered. "Either way I think a crying baby would probably kill the mood. Are you sure you're ready to completely care for a baby?"

"I am," I stated. "Trust me."

"Alright, well, I'm gonna go take a shower," he said. "Because I'm gonna get some cute ass."

I chuckled as Frank walked out, going upstairs and leaving me here to worry about the mess again.