Nathanial Rider
Starbirth 18, 3023

I wake up from a small nap I accidentally took earlier. Due to my lack of sleep it tends to happen a lot lately. The only thing that helps anymore is that the sky is always dark. My head was on my desk because I have lost the will to stand up. I lost the will to do anything, actually. I felt as though my lasting is just for nothing. I have nothing to live for... I have officially lost everything. The more I think about it the more true it becomes. So I prepare my last log on my recorder, because it was the only memory left of me that I wish to stay. I pick it up and click the record button, laying my head up only for a moment. "Entry 652:
The Last Entry - Today... The infection finally took my little sister. I would like to say it was a peaceful death, but such would be a lie. I had to put her down like a rabid dog! I had to murder an 8 year old! She was the last person I loved that I had left... Now I am nothing! At about dawn I buried her beside mother, as she asked a long time ago. She didn't deserve it! I should have been stronger! I should have been the one who died! All I wanted to do for the rest of my life was protect her. But I was too weak... I deserve to be the rabid dog, not her. My name is Nathanial Rider.
Born: Starbirth 18, 3006.
Died: Starbirth 18, 3023.
Today I lay beside them in my grave. Mother in the middle, sister to the left, and I to the right. Maybe my sacrifice will become much more one day with these recordings. But for now, they only tell why my family is buried in the back yard. If you find this, don't let it go to waste. Learn from my mistakes... please. Signing out... forever." #Click# Its over, I knew it, even though my tears wouldn't let free of my eyes. They spill upon the desk, way more than they should have been. I push my chair away from my desk and take a stand. I move left only a little to look out my window. All I see is an empty damaged road of this suburban area I have lived at my entire life. Further up is the sky that has marked Origia's death. Azure in color, always dark. Fitting... it was the only word that came to mind. I walk to the back door, which now only was a large slate of wood, for it had no hinges. I push at it barily and it falls like my hearts resolve only hours ago. I walk outside only about 3 steps before a tear sheds from me. I look at the tombstones of my loved before me one last time.
"Randa Rider:
Lived as she died, pure...
Lisa Rider:
The one who died of anothers failure... the undeserving."
My poor little sister... I failed you, forever. Now I repent for you.
"Nathanial Rider:
The one who died without love. Don't bury him, he deserves to be mauled by the sky's final wishes."
I read the 3 tombstones, knowing it was my time. I look past them to see a broken city in the distance, beyond a plain of overgrown grass blowing in the wind that seems to never stop. Again, fitting... I stand in front of my grave, hole built large enough to where I can't get out once I fall. With my back against the hole, I pull out my fathers dagger from my jean jacket, looking at it carefully. I place my finger upon the edge and slide it down. Indeed, it cuts, and I smirk in response. But it was weird, for blood spilt. I thought I was empty inside. I hold the blade in front of me, sharp end pointing toward my chest. "If my heart have anything left. Let it be gone now..." I aim for the heart and thrust! But my cold hands shook so much I missed and dropped the knife. I bend down to pick it up, but then I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Nathan. Put it down. Today isn't your day to die." "I beg the differ, cousin... Why didn't you stay away Ren?!" "Because you are still loved. By both me and John." "You found John, too?" "Yes. Get up." He helps me up with his hand. He then brings me in for a hug stronger than most. The person in front of me is my much older cousin, Ren Kaiser. He is 39, if I remember correctly. He was a member of the Origian Defence Army, which is an honor most of our family doesn't have. His hair is a messy brown like mine, and it goes a bit longer than his neck, not like mine. He wears a green headband around his forehead. He also has a sleeveless white shirt and cammo baggy jeans. Combat boots included, along with a necklace that is just a yellow diamond shape. Most would think this is his survival gear, but it is actually his normal attire. He also wields a meshedy that he calls Marona, whatever that means. He is also fit but not big. He is muscular but besides that he has about the same body as the average populace. "I'm sorry for what happened, Nathan. But that is no excuse to take your own life." "You don't know what I've been through! You don't know my pain!" "Your right... my family died by a normal man when I was seven." I realize the error in my words, for he has been through much worse. I forgot. "Im sorry, Ren. I was insensitive..." "Its fine, but you must understand that you need to survive." "What do you mean?" "No matter how weak you feel, you are still needed." "Lies. You don't need me..." "Do you honestly think I would make such a detour for someone as weak as you believe you are?!" "No... not really, anyway." He suddenly grabs my arm and drags me into the house and through the front door. I look in front of me and see John Rider, leaning against his Wheelar. He has black scruffy hair, and it hasn't ever changed. He wears blue jeans and a smirk that kills. He is only a year younger than Ren. But he hasn't done anything as significant as Ren. "He not cooperating?" "Less..." "I figured as much. What was he doing in the back yard?" "I'll tell you later, John." Ren darts a look at me and releases his clutch. "Get in." I knew I didn't have a choice anymore, so I just did it, leaving no words for my older cousin. "Lets go." Ren says coldly, telling the weakness we have in safety here. The Wheelar starts and we drive off. My life is about to change, most would anticipate or even like such things. But I just wish I didn't miss... I look back to my old house, which without me will probably be ransacked within hours... This is gonna be a long ride.

An excerpt of
The Shepherd Write Fantasy

Azure Sky
Revelation

Way too long...