Dear Zachary, 

This is my first letter to you. The castle is dreadfully boring without you. The only bit of fun I got was when I caught one of the maids with a stable boy. I promised not to tell your mother. When are you coming home? Has Lady Constance ever smiled? In court today, Lord Dispalt was speaking when someone let forth an evil and vile spout of flatulence from their concealed buttocks. Your mother, the queen, was astounded. She canceled the court meeting and immediately ran to her chambers to cleanse herself. I laughed so hard after I rejoined my ladies. I wish you had been there to see it. I wonder who spouted!? Who do you think did it? I can't wait until the war with Tiran is over, then we can be married. 

Love, 

Princess Mia Aspen