CHAPTER XXVIII: Rejection

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Almost a week passed, exactly four days, and I still didn't go outside my room.

Sometimes I wanted to go out, but when I opened the door I thought about it twice and closed it again. Kyan scent was pretty strong, probably because he wanted to speak with me, and kept waiting from the other side of my door, but maybe he didn't find the guts for that. Who knew...

What I was sure about was the fact I had to speak with him. He deserved to be happy and I wasn't the ideal person for accomplish that task, even if most of the times I was a bit grumpy towards him it didn't mean that I couldn't understand and see he was a good guy, too good for me. I had an important goal to reach in my life, and I was going to make it happen either way, even if I had to die afterwards.

My plan wasn't going to be affected by my mate, it was the most important thing I was actually working on, my reason to live, and to keep going on with my life without looking back at my horrific memories, where once upon a time I was really happy and whole.

Groaning, I got up from my bed, where my two little Corgi, Chip and Dale, were still sleeping at the end of it. I liked sleeping with them: sometimes I just hugged them or let them stay under the covers, it depended of the night.

That morning was pretty cold, even if I had the blinds half way down, the wall windows and the balcony's door were misted. I always left open somewhere, just a bit, so I could wake up with the fresh air of the morning. The birds were chirping happily, the trees were still, with their usual white blanket on it, and the sun was shining at its complete beauty contrasting the cold, soft breeze, not strong enough to make the woods dance at its rhythm.

Once I decided what to wear, something caught my eyes. Kyan's clothes. The day after we had sex, a really good sex,- I'm not gonna lie -he left my room in just his briefs, also his gray socks and shoes were there. His clothes were cleaned and folded in one of my open bedroom shelves, they were soft at the touch, and when I took his black T-shirt and sniffed it, Kyan's scent filled my nostrils, making my legs become jelly, remembering what he did to me that night. It was useless to wash them, they still provoked in me a pleasurable sensation, which I was yearning for, but I couldn't, even if he was my new drug.

Sighing tiredly, I folded his clothes again and decided it was time to take a hot bath. The warm water relaxed my muscles and made me forget about the world just for some minutes, but it was impossible, since Kyan's images were appearing in my mind.

The way he touched me.

The way his fingers caressed my skin and how they work its magic on my body.

The way his thick and big cock-

"Shit!"

What the hell did the guy to me? I knew it, it was too late, my body was screaming for him to touch me again, the moisture between my legs wanted him to claim me again, roughly, the way he did that night. It was painful, yes. I couldn't walk properly for the next days, yes. Afterwards I got angry with him, yes, still, it was a night I would never forget, one of my best ones, and it surprised me how the guy was so good, but something was telling me it wasn't for the mate thing.

I realized the bath wasn't relaxing me enough, so I uncovered the drain of the bathtub, put on my red bathrobe and let my hair down from the little bun I had make previously. When I walk to the walk-in closet I took my clothes and stepped into the bedroom. My dogs were no longer sleeping, one was outside in the balcony while the other was looking at me with his adorable face.

Dressing into black gym pants, and a plain red T-shirt with a grey zip up hoodie, I took a deep breath and locked eyes with Chip and Dale. They were already looking at me expectantly, as if they were waiting for me to make the first move. In fact, I took my decision previously: it was the day. I had to make my appearance sometime in my life, so I decided it was time to talk things out with Kyan and end our'strange' relationship- to call it something -as soon as possible.

With a deep sigh and my hand positioned on the door knob, I closed my eyes briefly just to open the door. I was welcomed by an empty hallway, thing I was expecting, and taking a deep breath I made my way downstairs with my two dogs hot on my heels.

When I arrived to the living room it was empty, thanks hell. Probably everyone was busy working out or doing jobs for other packs and clans.

The first thing I did was open one of the crystal doors so the dogs could go to the yard, with their friends. Scratching my lower back beneath my T-shirt, I went to the kitchen, exactly to the fridge. I was pretty hungry, so I started looking for something to cook. When I was about to fill a pot with water it slipped from my hands.

My breath got caught in my throat, my body was still, my eyes locked gaze green ones. Kyan.

"Finally..."

His chest rose and fell quickly, as if he ran when he caught my scent. His hair was a mess, his dark chocolate brown curls were wild, they seemed to have own life. Green eyes were scanning my body, hungry for it, pleading for me to be benevolent. Oh, I was far from it.

"Andrea, please, I want to speak with you."

"I don't have anything to say to you."

Lie! That was the biggest lie that went out from my mouth! But I wasn't prepared for what was coming, I didn't plan it to go like this. His voice was begging me to at least give him a chance but I couldn't, not if I had something more important to do than to lose time with my mate, and if I had to lie to make him believe something else, I would do it.

"Oh, yeah? As you wish, then."

His answer was hella strange, it made me cock an eyebrow at him, but when I saw nothing was going to happen I sighed and bent over to take the pot that fell previously from my hands, but I stopped when I heard footsteps approaching me. So, I rose up quickly just to find Kyan standing in front of me, but the next moment my upper half slung over his shoulder. He was carrying me like a sack of potatoes.

"Hey! Put me down!"

"Not happening anytime soon."

I was kicking his legs and punching his back, but it was useless. He wasn't flinching a bit, even if I hit him hard. Suddenly the cold weather bit my skin. He went outside, in the garden, that was sure, but I still didn't know where exactly. All I knew I was shivering for the sudden change of temperature, while Kyan's feet broke the snow under his shoes, but destination still unknown.

Suddenly I heard water flowing and I knew we were in the right side of the principal garden, in the fountains. Victor was a big fan of old yards, with their wood benches, statues, rock paths... so, when he built the house, he made sure to make it at his likes, and hell if it was beautiful, it was a paradise.

Before I could take a last breath he put me down, and when my feet made contact with the white ground I was about to open my mouth to protest, but the look he gave me made me shut my mouth immediately. It was a part of Kyan I have never seen before, and it made me feel guilty.

"What's your problem, Andrea?"

"No! What's your problem with me, you asshole?"

"You don't understand Andrea, do you? Four days ago we have one of the most incredible nights of our lives, or at least I, and the next thing I know you're kicking me out of your room because it was a mistake. Do you know how much I thought about it? I felt guilty for what I did, blaming myself..."

I knew it, he was hurt. I hurt him just with my actions but there was more to come, a lot more. I had an objective in my life and, in the end, I knew I didn't want to hurt him more. He just didn't deserve it, he needed a better woman than me. Someone who could make him feel special and loved, someone who could never break his heart and make him smile. I wasn't that type of person, nor I was good at it.

What I was good at was to hurt people, and with him I was doing a great job, but it was better this way. Sometimes I hated the Moon Goddess or whatever there was looking at us from above, because thanks to her, or his, decisions, we had to afford situations we didn't want to, and this was one of them. The worst thing was that I didn't understand why I felt like an utterly shit, I was good making hard decisions and not to express my feelings nor to open up that quickly as I did with Kyan, but he broke my walls, all of them.

"That's not the problem... Everything was a mistake, we shouldn't have done it."

His eyes softened just a little when he heard the tenderness of my voice but it was quickly changed by his harden glance. Before, when he was opening his heart and feelings with me, it seemed so easy for him to do. From his locked lips wasn't coming any sound, but he wanted to tell me something more, I was sure, but it was too late, I had to do it. Now I understood it, everything, I just wanted to protect him. In the end, people was right, I was pathetic.

"So, you think everything was a mistake. Then, why didn't you stop me when you still had time? I would have stopped, but you didn't and what I saw was a woman who needed that night, like me."

I shut my eyes at his thoughts. Even if I hated to admit it, he was right. The effect he had on me was just of pure pleasure, and he was good making me remember that night. But that wasn't the point, the situation was going out of control bit by bit and I had to think quickly before something could slide my attention.

"The truth is that I have made the comedian and, yeah, I didn't stop you. But don't get me wrong, I didn't need that night, I was just bored, and you seemed the perfect distraction."

His eyes widened at my words. Shock first, quickly replaced by anger, and oh, I have never seen him so angry, it made me almost shiver. I hated to feel vulnerable only with him, and everything thanks to our bond, if not, I wouldn't have minded to say or do cruel things to him.

"Oh! So why did you cum four times? Why did you squirt then? I didn't know there was a school for comedians where they teach you how to cum!"

I closed my eyes embarrassed, my warm cheeks contrasting the cold biting my skin. He was so damn right, I still had a last chance to change things, but it was so clear he was desperate to make me understand how much I meant or him. He didn't need to tell me, it was easy to read him.

"T-That's not t-true..."

"Yes! It's true! I was above you so I was watching you all the time!"

His hands pulled his hair back nervously, feeling frustrated and angry. Our eyes met few times and his features softened, I saw the conflict in his face, how he wanted me to understand everything. Probably he thought it was difficult for me, but no, it was easy, I understood him but I was trying to get away from him, it was easier for the both of us.

"Fuck Andrea... Why do you make things so difficult?"

"I don't make anything difficult! It's you who sees things!"

"What?! Hey, you know what? I'll see you around."

Harshly, his body bumped into mine. He made his way towards the house and not long time after he stepped inside, my eyes still glued to where he was, not having the courage to turn around. Taking a deep breath I sat in one of the wooden benches, holding my head in my hands and thinking about how everything went. I just wanted to break things with him, not to made them worse, but even so, I was sure he would be really angry.

It wasn't that cold anymore, and the sun was a its brighter moment so probably it was already midday. Exactly, I didn't know how many hours I was outside, lost in my thoughts, now with my chin resting on my knees and my arms hugging my legs. Kyan was really fuming when he went inside of the house, everything ended up being a disaster.

Not long time after I heard the snow breaking under someone's feet, but a soft breeze coming my way already told who he was: my mate. I didn't even need to look upwards, just wait for him for what he wanted to say and then he would be gone, I was sure about it. Who would argue again after the discussion we had before?

"You still here... I thought you were inside of your room."

Sometimes he made stupid comments, really. If I wasn't inside my room then, where would I be? And I was obviously there, if not what it was, my phantom? Please. What caught my attention was his scent. He smelt good, really good, probably because he took a shower to calm himself, who wouldn't...

"What are you doing here? I think you said 'see you around'."

He sighed in frustration at my muffed voice, thing that made me look upwards just to meet his green eyes string at me, a pained expression accompanied his beautiful jade orbs. Not physical pain, but he seemed to have a hard time telling me his thoughts, and it was completely normal after what happened. My breath got caught in my throat when he sat besides me, a gentle smile was all on his lips. His left hand pulled back his brown short curls, softly, while his sight was lost in the garden.

"Andrea, I thought about it and I may have understood why you're so intolerant with us. I think, you're afraid to fall in love again, for a negative experience you had in the past."

I cursed internally. How the hell did he manage to read me to easily? I thought I was more hard and difficult than that. Internally, I snorted just when I heard him say 'for a negative experience'. Oh, he didn't know anything, and if he did, he would have chosen other words, because that 'experience' changed my life completely and immersed me inside my own darkness.

"Bullshit! Who do you think you are? A fucking psychoanalyst? That's not true, and stop minding my own fucking business!"

"Andrea, don't do it. Just fucking don't do that!"

He didn't understand he crossed the line, did he? How stupid he could be? When I felt attacked I always put myself in a defensive mode, it was something I was used to do and people inside the house already knew that, but Kyan, he probably didn't even know a third part of my life. I hated when someone could read me so easily but, the guy, seemed as he could understand me perfectly.

"Do what?"

"Keep lying to my face! I know I hit a tender spot, and you just keep denying it! C'mon grow up and face this as an adult!"

He kept trying and trying but I was getting tired of it, I needed to end things as faster as I could, even if I was starting to not like the idea. Sometimes he reminded me about my sister, so persistent and not giving up not in a million of years. That was what differentiated us more, how involved she was while I was one that lived purely relaxed, not paying attention to life itself.

"I'm an adult and I'm facing this as correctly as I think it should be done."

"No! Absolutely no! I'm trying to make things work between us! And trying to understand you! But you just don't let me even try? Just why?"

An exasperated sigh escaped from my parted lips. I didn't what to say or do anything more to make him understand he needed to be as far from me as possible. He was suffering, someone who was denying their own mate was surely painful, but I had to do it, to stop the absurd arguments and situation. It wasn't my fault I was trying to keep everything as a secret, but it had to be done in that way or another.

"Kyan, I'm sorry but I have to it."

"Do what?"

"I, Andrea Schiffer, under the light and warm of the Sun and the bright and cold of the Moon, reject you, Kyan Hathaway as my-"

Everything went so fast: form his widened eyes, to his pained expression and then to his fist making contact with my jaw. It was so strong it made me fall from the bench and hit the cold ground dressed in white. I was dumbfounded, I wasn't expecting a punch. My wide open orbs were watching his every move, how he got up and was looking at me now, a pained expression gone and replaced by an angry one.

"I can't fucking believe you were going to reject me! Do you fucking know what would happen? If the Moon Goddess paired us together it was for something! Do you know how painful is for a denied mate to live?!"

"I-I... I was doing what was the best for us."

"Save it Andrea. Maybe from other people yes, but I wasn't expecting you to disappoint me this way, I thought you were stronger... and different."

With that he left me. His eyes were no longer shining with its beautiful green, they were darker, and I could see his internal battle between his wolf and him, surely he wanted to rip me from limb to limb. I thought it was the right decision, but it seemed I got him more angry. Maybe the situation would make me think about a new strategy, but until then, I didn't want to know nothing from anyone.

It could have been worse, couldn't it?

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Hey guys! So here you are, as promised!!

What do you think? I mean, I want to kill Andrea, really, poor Kyan ahah

I already know this story will end, and know I'm writing the middle-end part of the book, but stay tunned because I'll tell you some news in future chapters ^^

Remember! If you want to get a mention in this book just vote and comment! I't easy! :)

See you in the next update!! :)

22/01/2017

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Awaken Demons: Stheno
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