CHAPTER XXIX: His past and family

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"You know Andrea, Kyan is not a bad guy, not at all. It's just that sometimes, it's difficult to handle him, but trust me, he cares about you, actually a lot." The Alpha of the 'Shadow of the Black Mountain' pointed out, making me sigh. "I already know that Logan, but I can't help it. The mate thing is for a couple who wants to share their lives with the other, and Kyan and I don't want the same thing." I was trying to make him see thinks the way I did, but it was useless.

He cursed loud enough to make me hear, knowing I was a hard nut to crack. "What I want you to understand is that you're speaking about how to be mated to someone is something for two, but you think your opinion is the only thing that matters. It takes two to tango, you're aware of that, right?" I thought about it for a moment, before nodding, agreeing with him.

In some sort of way Logan was right. The argument I had with my mate two days ago, opened my eyes, to see the real situation. I was acting just for my own purposes, and the poor guy didn't even know why. He deserved, at least, an explanation.

Both Logan and Benjamin were in my room, they wanted to speak with me about Kyan since they knew he wasn't doing that good. By now, all the house knew we had a heated argument, almost rejecting him, damn the one who told everyone. His first and third in command asked what the hell happened since it was odd to see him behaving so strangely, as if he was missing something inside his life, an important part of his body. I didn't know he was that affected.

"Yeah, I'm aware of that. Still, I don't understand why he wants to be with me that badly. If we had rejected each other, he would have been with one he thought it was the best for him. I know couples that refused to be with their partner and they're still alive, it's just a bit of pain, nothing more." It was right, people could lived without their respective partners, and he needed to understand that, maybe he would have find a better girl than me, in all the aspects.

"Andrea, you're used to the pain, but Kyan no. And for your stupid cause I'm not letting you hurt him in any way. Maybe it's not the physical pain what scares almost all the people but the psychic, from the outside they seem fine, but in the inside, they're whole, they go crazy. Your mate is the one to keep your balance, you compliment the other, like the light and dark living together in harmony." Ben tried to make me understand, probably tired of seeing his Alpha failing for almost an hour.

True, so fucking true. Benjamin was right, and it was like if he knew what was he talking about, even if I didn't know if he was speaking from a personal experience. I didn't care that much about the pain because, as he said it, I was used to it, all type of pains. People hurt me physically and mentally, and my demons were doing a good job sometimes making me go crazy. They kept speaking, laughing and discussing my very own decision, criticizing even my own existence, it was like if I was Schizophrenic, hearing voices all the time. Something insane.

Suddenly, I heard someone sigh, and when I turned around I saw it was Logan. The three of us were currently sitting on my bed, discussing the whole thing. They seemed worried, fighting internally to let me know something I didn't know. I knew that look and I was sure they were having a mental conversation thanks to their inner link, until the Alpha's voice cut the silence. "I'm going to tell you about some aspects of Kyan's life, but I'd like them to remain in this room."

They waited for me to nod, and when I accepted they shared a look before Logan took a deep breath, preparing himself. I should have been the one to do that, I hated surprises and everyone was doing a good job to worsen that fact. "Do you know about Kyan's problem, right? The one... between his legs?"

"Okay?" I wasn't going to speak about my mate's genitals with them, it was so freaking awkward! But my mind, since it had its own life, started to question why they knew about his problem. Illogical doubts passed through my mind, but it was better not to think about it. I didn't want to know the answer of all that unanswered questions, and thankfully I had my demons blocked, if not they would have been laughing.

"To let something clear, I'm not telling you his main problem is the size of his genitals, but it influenced his life, a lot." He gave me a pointed look. By now I probably had my typical furrowed yet, questioning face, but I wasn't going to open my mouth. Even if, I had to admit, I really wanted to hear what Logan was going to say and, one thing was sure, they really knew Kyan, and cared for him.

"Even if he's known in our pack for sleep every night with a different girl, he was frustrated because they wanted him just to have sex." Logan tsked, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly, before continuing. "Yes, he's not a saint, but what I'm trying to say is that he craved to find a mate because he knew she would accept everything of him, in any way. So, just imagine how he's feeling right now, after his beloved mate he craved for, just rejected him. And for what? He doesn't even know why."

Okay, maybe he had a point in there, but I felt bit uncomfortable speaking about my mate's past 'relationships' or whatever they called a freaking one night stand. Still, who was I trying to fool? Deep down I knew I was raging, just for the fact that a big amount of girls had been in his bed before me. Even if it was normal, he wasn't going to wait all his life for his mate, and it was obvious, I couldn't help to feel angry, with the need to chop their heads off.

"So you're implying that Kyan banged a lot of girls, hopeful to find the one that could accept him, and kind of... manage him? Even if she wasn't his mate?" His jaw clenched, not in irritation, but trying to find a good answer.

"Yes, but he was confident he would find you, and he did, but now, he doesn't know what to do anymore, because his last chance rejected him." He half shrugged, not meeting my eyes. From my lips escaped a heavy sigh and my left hand pulled my hair back. Maybe Kyan wasn't wrong and was right when he told me I was scared of falling in love again, because damn, now I was seeing everything from another prospective and it was clear the guy just wanted to be happy. But the question was, could I make him?

"Andrea, now I'm telling you something almost anyone knows, okay? So please, tell no one about this, not even Kyan." I looked at him warily, at the same time my left brow rose. "Yeah, sure." They exchanged a look, and when Ben nodded Logan started speaking again. I was knowing things about my mate I didn't even imagine, and I was realizing I had a whole completely different vision and idea from him. So, I was a bit worried for what I could hear next.

"You see, I know Kyan since a long time ago and what he wanted the most was to find a mate. It was thanks to his parents, and the mentality of his pack. He never showed it, but deep down he wanted to find his partner for life. Everything got worse when his older sister was rejected by her mate because she... 'wasn't enough for him'. She was really heartbroken and it affected Kyan and his young sister, but thankfully in the end she found love again and now she's married and has a son."

Wow, the first curious fact was I didn't even know he had two sisters, one younger and older. I couldn't even imagine how they could be, but now, I wanted to meet them. It wasn't a really happy story, but I was relieved she had everything she wished for, even if I didn't know her, probably it was the fact I was bounded to his brother.

"What I'm trying to explain with this is that Kyan wanted to meet you all along, since he was young. When his sister was rejected, and I'll let the details for him to explain, he was so damn confused because he thought all his life that, being with your mate, made you happy. But he never lost the hope on finding you, and when he did, what happened to his sister happens to him, but this time, there's a difference, you didn't give him any reason to why you don't want to be with him."

Shit, Logan got me there. I was having a hard time to find the correct words, or well, even to make a sentence, I was left speechless and now I saw why he was so damn affected when I tried rejecting him and he decided to punch me. Maybe I was afraid to fall in love again, but he was afraid too. Afraid to be alone and be heartbroken like his sister. Kyan could seem a hard guy from the outside but it was a softie in the inside.

"I-I didn't know, I-Shit." My lungs released an exasperated and sad breath, "I did what I did because I thought it was the best for us, but maybe I was wrong and I had to explain things first. I thought he wouldn't understand if I explained him." Benjamin's eyes softened, accompanied by a gentle smile on his lips. Probably Kyan was right when he kept telling me mates were something for two and not one. Deep down I even felt a bit ashamed for how hotheaded I was, if I only had listened to him...

"Andrea, we didn't come here to persuade you to accept him as your mate. We came here to show you a little bit of Kyan, and to make you think about the situation you're both are in." The blonde werewolf pointed out, drawing a smile for my lips. "Thank you, I really appreciate it. I'll think about it, and surely speak with Kyan again. Communication is not our thing."

Both nodded, "Just take your time, he's not going anywhere." Logan chuckled as how Benjamin decided to end our conversation. They were such good friends and guys, and I was starting to wonder if Kyan had something to do with them speaking with me, but then I thought about it twice and it wasn't something my mate would have done.

Their Alpha, who got up first from my bed squeezed lightly my right shoulder, while Ben, who followed him few seconds later, patted my leg twice. Before they stepped out my room they turned around, the blonde wolf grinning in my direction and Logan smiling softly. "Oh, and one last thing. I swear to the Moon Goddess, to my pack and my family Kyan is not a bad guy, far from it."

With those last words they were out and hell, they made me think about everything. I wasn't feeling guilty or bad for how I acted, but I knew it could have gone differently. By now, I knew our problems and what we were afraid about, the last step was to talk things, and maybe, just maybe, we could sort things out and know if we were going to be together or no. I needed time to think.

The rest of the day I spent it inside my room, sometimes reading a book, others surfing the Internet or just listening to music, and in the afternoon I called Aaron who was already home and Adam, who told me the 'news' about his problems. That guy, seriously, had a lot of problems, but he was trying his best to be strong for his mother and little brother.

During the night I couldn't sleep because I was thinking about Kyan. Everything that happened between us and our conversations made me realize we were both wrong, since we didn't communicate with the other, and then it hit me like a freaking rock. If we had told each other our thoughts and feelings since the first day, we wouldn't have been in this situation.

As I wasn't sleeping anytime soon, I took the book I was about to finish. Lost in the words of the incredible work of art, I didn't even realize when my two dogs jumped on my bed and drifted to sleep beside me. Not long time after I joined them, this time feeling really tired.

In the morning I woke up with extra energy and I didn't even know why, I was a morning person, but I had a limit. Also, waking up my dogs, I stood up, and before going to the bathroom to do my morning routine, I opened a balcony window, so the room was ventilated. It was warm, but as always, a cold soft breeze danced around the threes, not enough to move them, but it reminded you it was winter.

Once I did everything I needed to do inside the bathroom, I decided to dress with a pair of black gym pants, a white long sleeve T-shirt with my typical red house socks. Letting my hair dry naturally I stepped outside my room, with my two dogs running behind me and not long after surpassing my normal steps. I decided it was time to resolve things with Kyan and I was determined to do it for good.

When I arrived to the first floor, where the kitchen was, I stopped and took a deep breath since the guys were talking about random things, sitting on one of the leather chairs of the dinning table, empty plates before them. Suddenly I spotted Kyan, he was quietly speaking, he didn't seem himself. I tried to control my respiration when I positioned myself in front of him and our eyes met. He looked like shit.

"What?" His sharp voice made me flinch. Waiting for me to talk he rested his back on the chair with his arms crossed on his muscular chest. His beautiful green orbs were dead, his beard wasn't shaved, probably, since our discussion, deep eye bags contrasted his skin tone.

"We need to speak. Alone." My quiet voice didn't make him relax, or even his rigid form to loosen up. "No." He snapped back, and it felt like more than a thousand burning arrows pierced my, already, damaged and tired heart, drawing some type of sour emotion. "Kyan, please." I begged him, not because I wanted the others to see me like the innocent, I was far from it, but because I really wanted to discuss things.

I couldn't believe he didn't want to speak with me, I was sure it was his revenge for what I had done, but c'mon! At least, I was trying to work things out, late, but at least it was something. It was pretty odd to hear myself begging for someone, I wasn't used to, but when the last word left my lips he seemed uneasy. His right hand pulled back his brown curls while his left arm tightened around his torso. He wasn't meeting my eyes, and by now I knew he wanted to speak with me, but something was stopping him, probably the fear of being rejected. If you saw it coldly, we were walking on a thin rope.

"Andrea, I'm not in the mood." Tiredly, he answered, making my breath to get caught in my throat. His pack mates were quietly watching out little scene, and as I knew myself, before loosing my control and starting a new argument with him, for how hotheaded he was, I exchanged a look with Logan and Benjamin, asking for their help. Kyan, whoever, wasn't even meeting my eyes, and it made me really angry because, at least, he could look at me in the face.

His Gamma scratched the back of his neck awkwardly while the Alpha sighed, before nodding in my direction. "Kyan, go." It draw a sharp look from his second in command, "Logan, I'm sorry but it's not your damn business." His lash out made all the people in the table to swallow hard, but the dark haired man didn't even flinch. "Kyan, if you don't stand up in this instant, I swear I'm going to beat your fucking ass. For fuck's sake! Don't act like a pussy! Act like the man you are and go speak with her, you idiot!"

Complete and utter silence. Were were speechless at how his Alpha spoke to him, just wow, I wasn't expecting that. Benjamin didn't even have the time to speak because my mate suddenly stood up and walked towards me, from his lips escaped an annoying sigh. After I thanked them and Kyan, I decided it was better if we spoke inside my bedroom, so we could have privacy.

All the way to the third floor was quiet and a bit uncomfortable. I started sweating because I didn't want to discuss with him, I was already sick of it and the fucking bond made me suffer too so, I rolled up my sleeves. It wasn't painful, but it was starting to be a pain in the ass, and with my demons I had enough. Every step I took towards my room, more nervous I became. When we arrived, I opened the door for him to walk inside first, and I followed after his quick steps.

"Okay, now we can talk, discuss, scream at the other. What it will be this time, uh?" There wasn't the necessity to snap back at me, but it felt like I deserved it.

I closed the door behind me with just the weight of my body, but it was impossible to look at him because I didn't know how, he sounded...angry, and I hated it because it was normal for him to feel this way, still, here I was, trying to find a solution for all this mess. "I wanted to talk, about us." He actually snorted, "Oh yeah? If you're going to reject me then do it right now, and there won't be the need to even say hi to the other ever again."

Suddenly I met his eyes, their real color was hiding behind a mask of pain and anger. But he was a softie, we were. Swallowing hard, I tried to find the correct words to express myself, but I was having a hard time. He was the only one to make me speechless with just one look, and I was starting to question if it was something I liked or not.

As he wasn't happy with my silence, he decided to tease me. "Did the cat eat your tongue?" It made me so angry, because I was trying, hard, and he decided to behave like a fucking kid. "No! Fuck Kyan, no! Shit, this is so difficult... Okay, I know I messed up, but I'm not going to reject you. I-I-Damn! I want to give us a try, to see if things can work between us." I stopped for a brief moment, taking a deep breath and trying to relax my tense body. "Are you happy now?"

When I met his widened eyes I couldn't understand if what I said was a good or bad thing. I so screwed up with his mind that I didn't understand anything anymore. Knowing the person I was, it took me all my strength to say that, because damn, if he accepted, we were going to play in an unknown area, with fire that could warm or burn us.

"W-What?" He sounded lost, as he didn't hear correctly or was hallucinating. "You heard me. I want us to work, as mates, couple, partners, whatever you want to call it. But I want to give us a chance."

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Hiyaa everyone!! So, firstly I'm sorry for take it too long, but a lot of changes had gone in my life.

As most of you can see closed temporarily my Wattpad Covers book, so I can focus more in writing my current books, which are 'Awaken Demons', 'Erotic Waves' and 'Falling for Chiara in Rome'. I know I let you down for almost two months, but I'm hoping to write one or two more chapters while I'm in Italy.

So, about the chapter... did you expect Andrea to give up and try with Kyan? Well, more important, did you even remember what happened in the last chapter? ahahha
Omg, I'm so sorry guys, really, but I'm back!

If you liked this chapter I'd really appreciate a vote or comment!!! Just let me know your thoughts!

Thanks guys and see you in the next chap!!

P.S.!! Please also read my author's note called 'About the Book-[Editing Work]' it's really important, because maybe I'll change some things in the chapters, thanks!!

16/03/2017

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Awaken Demons: Stheno
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